The Weaver

The Weaver

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: 98 Degrees/Backstreet Boys

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees and the Backstreet Boys are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashwriters. The writer would like to acknowledge the support of Diamond, the Tabitha to his Stephen. Thanks also for the contribution of Dr. Kyla, who offered a medical diagnosis when I was at a loss.

Wherein AJ brushes his teeth; Drew forgets his socks; and Kevin eats spinach.

Notice: Ack! AU! Run!

Adam

A man sat and worked his loom. People came through the shop, looked at his dusty curios, and left with little understanding.

Two people entered. The tall, blond young man poked through a shelf of figurines. His companion stood behind the weaver, watching the creation of an elegant tapestry.

"Howie," the young man said, picking up a knight on horseback.

His companion was distracted. "What are you making?" he asked.

"I weave tales," the weaver said, keeping his eyes on his work.

"Tails?" the young man asked, glancing across the room.

"What do you read?" the weaver asked.

Howie examined the tapestry.

"J. Paul Jeffre," his companion said.

"What?" Howie asked.

"That's the only thing I've read since I got in here. It's on the bottom of all of these." He picked up a small crystal ball and turned it upside-down. "Is this a snow shaker or not?"

Howie was hesitant to touch the loom as he leaned closer. "These three men." He glanced at the weaver, who nodded. "They're... This one symbolizes love, this one...dreams. This one..."

"Not symbols," the weaver said. "And what is this one?"

Howie thought about it. "Life."

The weaver was pleased. "And who are these other figures?"

"They're different, they're..."

His blond companion looked over his shoulder. "They're their lovers. I don't think they're symbols. He's right, they're like...you know, what's his face is the god of dreams."

"Orpheus?" Howie asked.

"No, he's that guy from The Matrix."

The weaver smiled.

"You're right, you can read this." He passed the crystal ball from one hand to another. "There's a whole story in here."

"What do you read?" the weaver asked.

"I don't even know where to start."

"Start from the beginning."

Three men lived alone in a splendid palace. An enchanted palace. The Weaver of Life, the Weaver of Love, and the Weaver of Dreams. The Lifeweaver spent his days outside the palace, roaming the lands. The Loveweaver spent his days gazing through enchanted portals to the world, watching people go about their lives. The Dreamweaver spent his days in peaceful slumber. No one lived with them to tend to their needs, for they had no use for servants. They had magical and magnificent powers.

The Loveweaver had access to the most private and intimate parts of the heart. The Dreamweaver had access to the most mysterious and secret parts of the mind. And the Lifeweaver had access to the most terrible and awesome dynamic of all: life and death.

They looked like handsome young men, fit and healthy, in the prime of life. They were quite, quite old, but quite, quite beautiful. The Weavers called themselves brothers, though whether they were or not, only they knew. The eldest was the Lifeweaver; the middle brother, the Loveweaver; and the youngest, the Dreamweaver. They did not call each other by their true titles. As time passed, they chose different names to use among themselves. How they once had been known is left to legend. What they called themselves at the moment, was Jeff, Nick, and Drew.

When Jeff, the Weaver of Life, returned home one evening from his walk through the forest, he found Nick, the Weaver of Love, paying careful attention to the portal.

Nick's favorite portal was a man-sized, oval mirror with a heavy, silver frame. It hung on one wall, and Nick spent his days lounging on the sofa, watching humans go about their daily lives. Today, Nick was standing before it, looking in on the world.

Jeff came to stand beside him, watching with him. "What has caught your eye today?"

"Watch this man," Nick said. "What do you see?"

Jeff tilted his head to one side as he examined the portal's main figure. "There is a certain...energy about him."

"Passion," Nick said. "He has passion."

Jeff looked askance at his brother.

Nick was drawn to the portal, to the man within. "Such passion. Such fire. Such feeling."

Jeff watched, trying to understand Nick's rapture. "Alexander. I remember him."

"They call him AJ," Nick said. "AJ."

"Alexander is a fine name," Jeff said.

"AJ." Nick raised one hand.

Jeff caught Nick's elbow.

Nick remembered himself and lowered his hand. To touch the world through the portal was no ordinary thing. To grace a human with his touch was a grave matter indeed.

"How long have you been watching him?" Jeff asked, concerned for Nick. It was unusual to see Nick this taken with a mere person. Nick was compassionate, yes, but not personally involved with the world.

"All day," Nick said, eyes on AJ. "Look at him."

"He does catch the eye," Jeff admitted. "What is he doing?"

"He's a performer. A man of many talents."

"He's a travelling magician," Jeff observed, unimpressed.

"He is much more than that," Nick said, becoming defensive. He took his eyes from AJ long enough to frown at Jeff. "Much more."

"All day?" Jeff asked. "You've been watching him all day... In our time or theirs?"

Nick declined to answer.

Jeff turned one hand and the portal closed. The mirror reflected Nick.

Nick raised his fingers and AJ reappeared.

"I will not have you stand here and spend your days watching a puppet show!" Jeff said. "You have responsibilities."

"He is one of them."

"One of billions, Nick, one of billions. I'm going to get Drew."

Nick watched AJ. He smiled.

Jeff went to Drew's private sleeping chamber. Drew slumbered in peace, in his wide, soft, black bed under a flowing canopy. Jeff parted the curtains and watched Drew sleep.

Lashes fluttered. Hazel eyes opened. Drew looked up at Jeff and smiled.

Jeff smiled back.

"What's wrong?" Drew asked, sitting up, running his hand through his hair. "I was busy."

"Come with me for a moment. I want you to see someone."

Drew frowned and got out of bed, clothing himself in black silk. He followed Jeff to where Nick was watching the world.

"Alexander," Jeff introduced.

"AJ," Nick corrected. He glanced over. "You're awake. You wakened him?"

Drew tipped his head to one side and watched.

"I want you to watch his dreams," Jeff said.

"No," Nick said.

"Why not?" Jeff asked.

Nick didn't know what to say. "Don't," he told Drew.

"He has grand dreams," Drew murmured. "He's very...intense."

"Passionate," Nick said.

Drew looked at Nick. "You've taken an interest in him."

"An undue interest," Jeff said.

"He has passion," Nick said. "It draws me." He refused to admit to shame.

AJ's one-man show had ended, and he was packing up his work as he gathered money. A man approached him, and they shook hands as old friends.

Drew's attention was snared. "That man. He... He walks in my dreams." He watched, breathless.

Jeff looked. "He's handsome."

"He's beautiful," Drew whispered.

"He's alone," Nick said.

"Alone?" Jeff asked.

"They both are. They have no one. Nothing. No one to love, no one to love them. No one who cares. No one to care for."

"They have each other," Jeff offered.

"They are one of a kind, but no," Nick said. "No, that cannot be enough."

"Nurture their friendship."

"Could one man's friendship be enough for-"

Jeff gripped Nick's elbow. "Yes. You know the strength and the force of human love. Do not entertain the notion of doing anything more for him than you would for every other one you see."

"He deserves-"

"He deserves no more than anyone else," Jeff said. "No less, but no more. We are not here to pamper our favored ones."

"He walks in my dreams," Drew whispered, captivated.

"What do you mean?" Jeff asked.

"I see him."

"Why?" Jeff turned Drew to face him, away from the portal. "He walks in your dreams."

Drew wanted to look back to the portal. "He is there, he appears, he is beautiful. I see him."

"You see him alone?"

"Yes. I see him live and breathe. He is beautiful and..."

"And?" Jeff prompted, already displeased.

Red tinged Drew's cheeks. "I wish that he would come to me."

"Drew!" Jeff shouted.

"You can't," Nick said. "You mustn't, Drew, you can't."

"I won't!" Drew said. "I haven't in all of this time, and I won't now. Do you believe that I have no self-control?"

"Stay away from him," Jeff commanded. "And you," he said, turning to Nick, "stay away from Alexander."

"AJ," Nick corrected with a glare.

"Go back to sleep," Jeff said to Drew.

"I only want to look at him," Drew said, eyes on the portal again.

"Now!"

With obvious reluctance, Drew backed away from the mirror. "He walks in my dreams."

"Do you want me to break his legs?" Jeff asked.

"No!" Drew was horrified. "No! Don't touch him!"

"Go back to sleep," Jeff said. "I have enough to take care of without worrying about these travelling performers. You, either bring love to Alexander's life or find something else to occupy your time."

Drew slept. He dreamt. He moved through the dream world without effort, with interest. In time, he found the dream of Alexander James McLean. He stood still and let it swirl around him. A common street performer, a common club performer, an uncommon man. Hunger. Passion. Fire.

Drew moved on, having much to consider.

And then he saw...him.

Tall and proud. Soft layers of black hair falling to broad shoulders. Commanding green eyes. Beautiful and masculine and so very, very strong...

"Kevin," Drew whispered.

Kevin looked over at him. Waiting for him.

"I can't."

Kevin lingered.

"I can't."

Kevin turned away from him.

"Kevin." Drew's heart was breaking.

Kevin left him.

Tears fell.

Jeff crouched and touched a small, soft bud. Spring. Blooms and growth and new life. At least some things were going well.

Nick spent every last second watching that "passionate" person, Alexander. And Drew spent every last second sleeping, trying to catch a glimpse of Kevin, whose favorite hobby seemed to be walking through Drew's dreams.

Idiots.

Fools, both of them. They might as well be mortal.

Jeff stood and walked on.

It was somewhat disturbing, he would admit, that Kevin walked in Drew's dreams. Whatever that meant literally, it was an anomaly. People did not appear in Drew's dreams. Drew appeared in people's dreams. Drew himself did not dream, as much as oversee the dreams of others. Drew did not have dreams. But now Drew was dreaming of this Kevin person.

Jeff didn't like it.

He might have to look into Kevin's life for himself.

And, while he was at it, he might pay a visit to a certain passionate individual.

AJ McLean was a club performer, a street performer, a born performer. He sang, danced, juggled, told jokes, and pulled strings. The strings of his puppets, that was. His show varied depending on his audience, his pay, and, above all, his mood.

He had semi-regular gigs at different places in different seasons. He travelled, he performed, and he answered to no one but himself.

His friends were those people he met on the road and in the clubs; other performers, other wanderers, other musicians. Some of them were stable, and he saw them as he passed through their towns; some of them were nomads such as he, and he crossed their paths as fate decreed.

Hired for one night's show at a club, he hung around after his performance in case anyone had a tip on another gig. His friend Kevin Richardson was in town at the moment, and stopped by to pay him a visit. While the two of them were seated at a corner table, the Weaver of Life walked into the room.

The Lifeweaver was not recognizable as such. He had exchanged his layers of white silk for contemporary dress, and had dimmed his glory so as not to be conspicuous. He found jeans awkward and confining, in comparison with the loose pants he tended to wear, and his boots were cumbersome, but if he wanted to pass for an ordinary man, he could make sacrifices.

He cleared his throat and walked to AJ and Kevin's table. They were involved in their conversation and did not notice him at first. When they looked up he dredged up a bright smile and said, "Hey, man, that was a great show. You're amazing."

"Thanks," AJ said, and shook his hand. "I appreciate it."

He always forgot what it felt like to touch people. So intimate... "Are you a regular here?"

"Oh, no, they can't afford me full-time," AJ said, and grinned. "One-time only."

"I'd love to catch another show. My brother's always looking for talent but it's so hard to find anyone with draw these days."

"If you're looking for talent, you've found it," AJ said.

"Would you like to join us?" Kevin asked.

"If you don't mind. Jeff."

"Kevin," Kevin said, shaking his hand as he sat. "The talented man is AJ McLean."

"You're not talented?" Jeff asked.

Kevin laughed. "I'm very talented, I just don't like to brag about it."

Nick stared through the portal as Jeff laughed and talked with AJ and Kevin. "What are you doing? What are you doing?" Jeff should have told him. Shouldn't be there. Not among them. They'd made that mistake in the past. They'd learned. They knew better. Jeff would have his head for doing something like that.

He went to get Drew.

AJ was a being of passion. Jeff couldn't believe that this man was in everyday society. Couldn't these people recognize magnificence when it was before them?

Kevin was a bit more difficult. He was so sure of himself, so confident, so mature and high-class that he was almost enigmatic.

Drew always said that the fantasy world of dreams was very real indeed. This man, Kevin, was so firm and grounded that he was almost a mystery. No wonder Drew was intrigued.

They were mere people, but there was something special about them. Jeff remembered their births. Remembered their lives.

Red, blood, heart, life, passion. AJ and Nick.

The darkness of night, of shadow and mystery, of doubt and fear, of Drew's slumber, of Kevin's hair. Black hair spilling over the silk of Drew's pillow.

No. They were people. They were mortals and human beings and just two more forms of life on this planet. They were mere. They were important in their own right, but insignificant in the larger scheme. Inconsequential.

Jeff would not be bothered with them any longer. Let them go on their own ways. Let them find love and fulfill their dreams. Let them bring life to the world, and die.

When they rose to go, he rose with them. Final handshakes, brief farewells. They headed for the door.

A shout. "Kevin! AJ!" Hugs and exclamations and greetings.

Jeff grabbed the back of a chair for balance.

Nick and Drew watched AJ and Kevin's reunion with a friend. Their quick eyes caught Jeff's faltering.

"What's wrong?" Drew asked.

Light. So much light...so bright...

They were exchanging "How have you been?" and "What have you been up to?" and "Where are you staying?" They were all smiles and easy familiarity. AJ and Kevin looked happy.

Brian. Brian Thomas. Jeff couldn't look away from that smile...

"Oh, Jeff, this is Brian. Jeff's brother owns a club over in Fleance."

"Nice to meet you," Brian said, and shook his hand.

He couldn't be human. It wasn't possible. Jeff wanted to touch him again.

All too soon it was over. Jeff found himself standing on a damp sidewalk, watching that brilliant creature walk away from him into the night.

"I could make you live forever," Jeff whispered. "This world never has to lose your glow."

When the Weaver of Life returned to his enchanted palace home, he stopped to resume his proper attire. Then he went to where he knew Nick and Drew would be waiting for him, by Nick's favorite portal.

A glance showed Jeff that AJ, Kevin, and Brian were sitting together in a hotel room.

"Still awake and talking," he noted.

"What were you doing?" Nick demanded. "What were you thinking? What is your plan?"

"You touched him," Drew said. "What does he feel like?"

"You remind us every day not to interfere, and then you go down there and you talk with them!"

"Is he even more beautiful in person?"

Jeff held up a hand for silence. "They are not worth the time and energy you spend on them. Let them be. Give them love, fulfill their dreams, and continue on with your many other more important responsibilities."

"I will decide what is worth my time," Nick said. "Time, Jeff, is the one thing which you cannot control."

"You are the one thing I cannot control," Jeff snapped. "Do not waste your days on this one man when a world begs your attention!"

Drew was slipping out of the room. Jeff and Nick looked to the portal and saw that its three favored figures were preparing for sleep.

Drew went to AJ first. He gave AJ's dreams a routine check, for Nick's sake. He didn't seek Kevin; Kevin would come to him. He knew that now. To bide his time, he paid a visit to this new person, Brian.

Power and beauty and light, white light, shining all over... Dreams of happiness and peace and love and life and all good things, fulfillment for everyone. Dreams without pain. Brian's dreams were not for Brian's sake but for the benefit of the whole earth. A world rich in grace.

AJ. The red of passion.

Brian. The light of hope.

Drew turned and saw Kevin. Jeff had met Kevin. Spoken with him, touched him. Known him in person, in life.

"What are your dreams?" Drew asked. "Why are you here in mine?" He stepped closer. "Where are your dreams? Take me to them. Let me see them."

Kevin backed away from him.

Drew stepped closer.

Kevin turned and walked.

Drew followed.

Kevin rolled over on the bed. Jeff and Nick stopped arguing and watched.

Drew stepped into a void. Nothing but blackness. He couldn't see Kevin any longer.

"Where are you?" He moved forward a few steps. "Kevin. Kevin." These were not dreams. This was nothingness.

Kevin had no dreams.

Drew wasn't frightened. He knew this place. "What do you dream of, Kevin? What do you think of? What do you long for? What is in your mind? What is in your heart?" He put himself in a square, white room. "You came to find me. Now let me help you. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you wish."

Kevin was gone.

Drew waited and waited, but Kevin did not return.

When Drew arose, Jeff tracked him down in the garden. "Brian. Did you see his dreams?"

"Yes." Drew watched a butterfly alight on a flower.

"What are they? What is he?"

"Brian's dreams are his own affair."

Jeff cupped his hands and the butterfly came to him. He held it before Drew's face and watched Drew's delight. "Tell me who Brian is," he coaxed.

"I've never met anyone like him," Drew said. "He must have power. He doesn't realize how special he is. He's glorious and yet...so humble..." He shook his head in amazement, eyes on the butterfly.

"He's only human," Jeff said. "I don't understand his magnificence."

"You forget how powerful people truly are," Drew said, and raised his gaze to Jeff's. "You see the wonder in the life of a flower yet you are blind to the wonder in the life of a human."

"Flowers are prettier," Jeff said.

"Than Brian?" Drew asked.

"You're only a dreamer. You're not supposed to be intelligent." Jeff set the butterfly on Drew's nose and it flew away.

Drew laughed.

Nick stood close to the heavily framed mirror and watched AJ brush his teeth.

"You are not alone," he said. "You are loved. I could love you forever. A passion like yours... Do you want love? Do you want to love? Shall I offer you love?"

He could lead AJ to a beautiful woman. He could give AJ anyone on earth. But he was jealous. He didn't want AJ to love someone he chose. He wanted AJ to love him.

"Would you love me?" Nick asked the figure in the mirror.

AJ spat toothpaste and rinsed his mouth.

"I could make you love me," Nick murmured.

AJ glanced at himself in the mirror over the sink.

"No. I can't make you do anything," Nick said, and smiled.

Kevin had no dreams.

Drew thought about that.

No dreams.

He'd encountered the problem before. With time and effort, he could help Kevin.

Kevin needed him. Kevin had come to him seeking help.

Kevin needed him.

Jeff remembered handing tiny kittens to Drew. Showing Drew a hatching chick. Letting him watch with wonder and amazement the splendor of new life, the creation of new things. He was still innocent in his way, still wide-eyed and surprisable.

It was easier for Nick to understand life and death. Love created life, and love lasted beyond death. For Drew, the technical, tangible facts of birth, of decay, were almost abstract. Drew wanted to believe that dreams, fantasies, hopes, ambitions, were all stronger than the cycles of life.

Drew was wrong. Jeff proved it, time and again.

Dirty and noisy and smelly and... Drew wanted to go home. He didn't like it here. But Kevin was here.

Things had changed since Drew had visited last. Science and technology, he supposed. Nick would hate it. No romance, no passion, no feeling. No interest in one's fellow humans. Drew felt very alone here.

This sidewalk was hot. He'd forgotten shoes.

Maybe no one would notice.

Everyone seemed very tall. He kept forgetting how people were growing as time passed. Even Nick wouldn't seem large anymore. Amazing.

Had he forgotten anything else? Besides the shoes. Oh, and socks. He was supposed to be wearing socks. Ugh. He never had liked-

Here. This was the hotel where Kevin was staying. It was cooler, and a little dark. A person. Drew walked to the desk. "Hello, I'm looking for Mr. Kevin Scott Richardson. Will you please direct me to him?" That had been the correct language, hadn't it? If not, he could try another, or speak with someone else. That was one of the most interesting things about this world: the variety. And yet, the constant sameness. Fascinating.

"I can't give out that information. Do you know his room number?"

If he knew the room number, would he bother to ask? "No."

"Is he expecting you?"

"No."

"You can try to call him."

Drew was going to be disappointed with this woman quite soon. "He needs me. Where is he?"

"He needs you?"

"Yes. Go fetch him for me."

"Fetch him for you?" she repeated. "You can wait in the lobby and see if he comes by."

"If I were any less responsible about my work, you'd have nightmares for the rest of your life." Drew turned and walked away from her. He'd ask someone else.

The portal showed Drew, barefoot in black leather pants and a black muscle shirt, wandering down a hotel hallway.

Nick was laughing.

Jeff was shouting.

"Hello." Drew smiled.

"Hi." The man looked skeptical.

"I'm looking for Mr. Kevin Scott Richardson. Do you know him?"

"No."

Why not? Ignorant person. Drew was going to be annoyed at some point, and it wouldn't be pretty. "Thank you for your time." He walked on. Maybe the second floor?

"Get back here right now!" Jeff bellowed.

Nick looked more closely at the man with whom Drew had been speaking. "He's here to visit his girlfriend."

"Drew!"

Stairs. Drew sighed. He'd just gone up stairs. What were they thinking? People. "I am becoming very put out," he announced, and glared up the staircase. He marched up the stairs, flung open the door to the third floor, and yelled, "Kevin Scott, are you here?!"

Two doors closed; one opened.

"KEVIN!"

A woman on the housekeeping staff looked out of a room. "May I help you?"

"Have you seen Kevin?" Drew asked.

"Have you checked at the front desk?"

"She's bitter and depressed. He's very tall and he has long, dark hair."

She frowned. "The one with the eyebrows?"

"Yes!" She knew Kevin!

"Let me check." She went down the hallway. Drew followed. "Is he expecting you?"

"He needs me."

"Needs you?" she repeated. She knocked at a door.

The door opened.

Drew stared.

"Hi," Kevin said. "Are you the maniac running around yelling my name?"

"Yes, he is," the housekeeper said.

"He tracked you down?" Someone came to the doorway to stand with Kevin.

Alexander! No, AJ. "AJ."

"Hi," AJ said. "He doesn't look too dangerous," he told Kevin.

Kevin looked inclined to disagree.

The housekeeper went back to work.

"Did you want something?" AJ asked.

Drew pulled himself together. "I'm here to help," he announced. "Not you, you don't need me. Kevin, you need my help. You came to me, you needed me, and now I'm here for you. Don't be afraid."

"Is this a religious thing?" AJ asked.

"AJ," Kevin said, not at all amused by AJ's amusement.

"Would you two like to be alone?" AJ asked.

"No," Kevin said firmly, just as Drew said, "Yes, please, you're dismissed."

"Dismissed," AJ repeated. "I'm dismissed. Who are you, Norman Schwarzkopf?"

"You may call me Drew."

"Are you-"

"AJ, I'm having a bad day. Outside it's hot, in here it's freezing, it's dirty and smelly and loud and bright and dark and hideous, I hate this place, these people are much better when I don't have to deal with them in person, my feet are dirty, and I want to be alone with Kevin. Go away."

They looked down. "Where are your shoes?" Kevin asked.

"I forgot them. They always cramp my feet, anyway. And socks! I hate socks, stockings - - what a nuisance, and without benefit."

"Who are you?" AJ asked.

"Drew."

"Why are you here?"

"To help Kevin."

"Because he needs your help."

"Yes. I don't mean to offend you, because you really are a wonderful person, and you're really quite fascinating - - compelling, I believe - - but I need to be alone with Kevin now. Please go."

"Help me with what?" Kevin asked.

"That's private."

"You can't tell me?"

"I'd rather not talk about it in front of AJ."

"Are you armed and dangerous?" AJ asked.

"No," Drew said. He gave a start and turned. "What are you doing here?"

Jeff grabbed Drew's arm. "You are going back home and back to bed, and you're staying there if I have to chain you!"

"Kevin needs me!" Drew wrested himself from Jeff's grip.

"You live in a world of fantasies! You have no business being here, and you have no idea how to deal with this world!"

"Kevin needs me!"

"You're causing a scene," Jeff warned, and grabbed Drew's wrist. "Come with me."

"This is getting weirder," AJ said.

"Let go of him," Kevin told Jeff.

Jeff rounded on Kevin. "You've caused enough trouble already! Don't you dare to interfere!"

"What the hell?" AJ asked.

"Don't you dare hurt him!" Drew yelled at Jeff.

"I'm not going to hurt him if you'll go home and stay there!" Jeff yelled back, trying to pull him down the hallway.

AJ waved at the woman edging past them. She disappeared into her room and locked the door.

"Let go of him!" Kevin snapped.

"He needs me! Would you let me do my job?!" Drew demanded.

"Why is your job tall, dark, and handsome?" Jeff asked, maintaining his grip. "Would you be this adamant about it if he were plain and old? I knew I should have had you neutered!"

"Neutered!" Drew repeated, shocked. "Neutered! You filthy foul-minded animal! I've never - - you -" He jerked himself free and smacked Jeff.

Kevin reached out, pulled Drew into his room, and locked the door.

"Drew!" Jeff shouted. "Drew!"

"My stuff's in there," AJ said.

"Kevin Scott Richardson, let him go!"

"You okay?" AJ asked. "He hit you kind of hard."

Jeff glowered at the closed door. "I'm going home, Drew. I expect you there shortly." He stormed down the hallway.

Drew attempted to regain his dignity. "I've never been so thoroughly insulted in all of my life." He sniffed and smoothed his shirt. "In public, no less. What a disgusting, disgraceful scene. I'm really very sorry, Kevin. He's not usually like this. He's felt a bit...stressed out, lately."

Kevin nodded. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, thank you." Drew patted his hair and straightened his shoulders. "The nerve."

"Is he your...lover?"

"He's my brother," Drew said. "Why is everything about sex with you people? I've never understood it. Although I may be at a disadvantage. We don't have sex."

Kevin looked at him.

"I can't believe he had the gall to suggest that I have sexual interest in you. Of course I do. But I would never think of - - I would never give preferential treatment based on my libido. He knows me better than that. Of course I feel sexual interest from time to time. But I would never act on that. Even Nick knows better."

"Who's Nick?"

"My brother."

"You have any more...brothers?"

"The three of us. Jeff and Nick and I."

"Who are you?"

"Drew."

Kevin nodded.

"I'm awfully tired. What a long, trying day it's been. Not by your standards, I imagine. Would you mind if I took a brief nap?"

"A nap?" Kevin repeated.

Drew sat on the bed and rubbed his arches.

"Forgot your shoes," Kevin said.

"Yes." Drew dropped to his back and scratched his stomach. "I don't know if I can sleep in these clothes. I suppose I'd better try, considering contemporary standards of decency." He rolled to one side and closed his eyes, one hand up by the pillow.

Kevin watched. Shook his head. Checked his watch. Sighed. Rubbed his eyes. Let in AJ.

AJ stopped and stared.

"He's taking a nap," Kevin explained in a whisper.

"Right," AJ said. "Even divas need their beauty rest."

Jeff stormed through the palace, snarling and growling.

"He was worried for Drew," Nick said. "He thought that Drew was crazy and wanted him to leave, and now he thinks that Drew's harmless and you're an abusive boyfriend."

"I'm a what?!"

"He's protecting Drew from you."

"Nothing can protect Drew from me! When I see that little-"

"You know how some people are about small, cute things."

"He struck me!"

"Drew doesn't hit hard."

"I do," Jeff said. "He'll feel it."

Drew opened his eyes. Yawned.

"Feeling better?" Kevin asked, rising from where he'd been sitting at the foot of the bed.

Drew sat up and smiled. "Yes, thank you."

"I'm going to have to go," Kevin said.

"No, not yet," Drew said.

"I have a bus to catch. I already missed check-out."

"I haven't done anything to help you yet," Drew said, upset.

"I think you need more help than I do," Kevin said, offering a small smile to take off the edge.

"I'll come with you," Drew said, standing.

"Come with me?" Kevin asked.

"Yes. I came here to help you, and I can't leave until I've done what I'm here to do."

"Came here. Where are you from?"

"Where are we going?"

"You're not coming with me."

"Yes, I am."

"You don't even have shoes."

"You'll buy me some."

"How much money do you think I have?"

"How much do shoes cost?"

"Drew." Kevin held his shoulders.

Drew looked up at him with soft eyes.

"You can't come with me. Are you going to be all right?"

"I'm worried about you," Drew said.

"I'm a little worried about you, too."

"You don't want me to go with you."

"I don't think that it's a good idea."

"Will you come with me?"

"Where?"

"Home."

"Where's home?"

"Where I live."

"With your brothers?"

"Yes."

Kevin dropped his hands and checked the time. "How long will it take to get there?"

"Not long at all."

"No!" Jeff shouted.

Drew smiled and squeezed Kevin's hand. "This is where I live."

Kevin looked...lost.

"Are you all right? I hope you're not hurt. I've never brought anyone with me before. Nick brought somebody once, but that was a long time ago. She was very nice."

There was a loud crash.

Drew squeezed Kevin's hand again. "Don't worry. Jeff won't hurt you. He's very professional. He doesn't abuse-"

Another crash, louder and longer.

"Oh," Drew said, and bit his lower lip. "Maybe we can go talk to him later. Come to my room." He tugged on Kevin's fingers and led the way through the palace.

Drew's room was furnished in black and silver. The most important feature was the magnificent bed, with its draping canopy and wide frame. A dozen or so people could get lost in there. Drew pushed Kevin's suitcases into a corner, herded Kevin onto the bed, and pulled the drapes. Then he assumed his most innocent expression.

The door slammed open.

Drew inhaled and offered a weak smile.

Jeff's chest heaved. "Take him back right now!"

Drew kept smiling, not sure what else to do.

"Now!"

"He needs my help," Drew said. "Jeff, he needs me. He doesn't dream, he doesn't have any dreams, he came to me for help. No one's ever done that before, you know how important this must be. I have to help him, I know that I can, I just need a little time with him, and he was going to leave-"

"NOW!" Jeff roared.

"It'll only be a day or two."

"It won't be a second or two! You take him back!"

"He needs my help!"

"So does the rest of the world! You're not bringing them all home with you!"

"He came to me! Jeff, you've met him, you know him, you've seen how beautiful he is. He's special. He's different. He's not like anyone else we've ever seen. And he's with AJ and Brian, they're all so, so...special, it must mean something. Maybe they see it in each other, so they've come together, but maybe... Why them, why now?"

"You're grasping at straws."

"Brian is the most glorious human being I've ever known," Drew said. "AJ is intense, passionate, alive. And Kevin. Oh, Jeff. Please. Just a day or two."

"No. And get out of that ridiculous get-up."

Drew looked down at himself. "Oh."

"Drew, he cannot stay here. You shouldn't have brought him here and you know that. I know you have your head in the clouds, but you're smarter than this."

"He needs me," Drew said. "I have to help him."

"Because he came to you."

"Yes."

Jeff narrowed his eyes.

Drew smiled.

"I regret his very existence," Jeff said.

Drew smiled.

"One day."

Drew smiled.

"That's all. One day. Tomorrow, he goes back. No arguments."

"Thank you, Jeff. I'm sorry that I hit you."

"I'm sorry that I accused you of impure motives." Jeff patted his cheek and made pointed eye contact. "One day. And keep him in here. I don't want him roaming all over the palace."

Drew smiled with obedience. Jeff sighed and left. Drew spun in a celebratory circle, beaming. Kevin was staying! Drew changed into his black silk and parted the drapes, climbing onto the bed.

Kevin was watching him with wary green eyes. Above the head of the bed, beneath the canopy, mounted on the wall, was a lamp. A spark ignited; the light rose. Kevin looked over there, startled. Drew hadn't touched it.

Drew sat comfortably, facing Kevin, who had moved away from him towards the foot of the bed. "I knew he'd let you stay."

"Where are we?"

"This is our home. Where we live."

"Where?"

Drew frowned in consternation. "I don't think I can explain it to you. It doesn't exist in any location... I couldn't give you an address or a place name, and you won't understand anything else. We're not on Earth," he offered, trying to help.

"Not on Earth," Kevin repeated. "Who are you?"

"Drew. You know who I am." Drew leaned closer, gaze seeking some connection with Kevin. "You came to me. You sought my help."

"You... You look..." Kevin's brows knitted.

"Oh." Drew remembered with a smile. "That's my aura of radiance. I couldn't let anyone see it while I was visiting, so I dulled my beauty a little."

"Dulled your beauty."

"It's like turning down the lights." The lamp dimmed, then shone again. "I had to change clothes, too. This is much more comfortable." Drew stretched out his legs and wiggled his naked, clean toes. "I want to get to know you. I already know you, but I'd like to spend time with you. Jeff said you have to go back tomorrow, but I know he'll let you stay longer. Talk to me."

Kevin shoved aside the drapery and left the bed. Drew followed, curious. Kevin looked around the room, made a noise of frustration, and went down the hallway. Drew followed. Kevin looked into rooms along the way, seeing them gorgeously furnished yet useless to him. Finally he rounded on Drew.

Drew jumped back. "Please don't touch me."

"Why not?"

"If I touch you while I'm there, nothing happens. If I touch you while I'm here, without closing off all of... I'd have to shut down who I am first. As long as I'm running on full power, so to speak, even incidental contact is dangerous. There's no satisfactory way to explain anything anymore. It's quite aggravating." Drew pouted.

"What happens if we touch?"

"Last time it happened was a disaster. We're still dealing with the consequences."

"A disaster," Kevin repeated. His eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I can't tell you. Are you tired? You should rest. Come on, you can use my bed. There's room. Jeff doesn't want you in his way."

"Where are we?"

"Nowhere. Everywhere. Anywhere. Mostly nowhere. There aren't any people here. And there's no way for you to leave without one of us. You can go outside the palace, but that's more Jeff's domain than anything else. And if he's mad at you, and you're out there, he can take it out on you. Once, I was-"

"Drew." Jeff crossed his arms over his chest, facing Drew. He didn't so much as glance at Kevin. "I don't want him having free reign. Keep him in your room until you take him back."

"We're on our way," Drew said.

"Who are you?" Kevin asked Jeff.

Jeff looked at Kevin.

Kevin looked down at him.

Jeff was unimpressed.

Drew wanted them to get along. "We're going to sleep now, but may I show Kevin the garden later?"

"No."

"We have to feed him!" Drew remembered.

Jeff exhaled with disgust. "I'll take care of it. Go to sleep." A gentle hand on Drew's back pushed Drew towards his room. "Go on."

"Come on," Drew told Kevin.

Kevin looked from Drew to Jeff and back to Drew. He followed with reluctance.

Drew settled into his bed, curling up on his right side, facing Kevin. Kevin looked at the ceiling and refused to sleep. Hazel eyes closed. A sound of contentment accompanied a warm smile. Drew slept.

Kevin got up, walked around the room, examined his surroundings. Everything in the room was more ornamental than serviceable. It wasn't even a real bedroom. There were no possessions. How did Drew dress, or groom, or live here? It made no sense. Perhaps this room was a bedchamber alone.

Kevin opened the door to go into the hallway-

-and slammed it shut again with a shout. Holy mother shit! What the... His heart raced.

The door opened. Jeff was there. "Quiet. You'll wake him."

"What was that?!" Kevin demanded.

"An angry carnivore. She's standing guard to make sure you stay here while Drew sleeps." Jeff closed the door again.

Kevin listened. This time, he heard snarling.

Now what?

Kevin leaned his back against the door and looked around the dimly lit room. He was trapped in a room, in a place he didn't know, by a man he didn't trust, with a man he wasn't sure was quite sane.

No, Drew was sane. Just...

Weird.

Different.

Not in a bad way, necessarily. Not in an evil way. Just different.

Confused. Misinformed. Something.

He had to get Drew away from Jeff.

And who, or where, was Nick?

Nick's right hand stroked the mirror's heavy frame. "It's all right. Don't be frightened. She'll be all right. I'll help her to let you go. She'll be all right. She's safe, she's at home, she'll get through this. Just think of how beautiful she was on her wedding day. How happy she was, how you cried for her. She was a sweet baby, and now she's a strong woman, and she'll be all right."

Jeff was at Nick's side. They watched the plane go down.

Kevin was tired. He had to pee. He watched Drew sleep. Why was Drew always sleeping? Maybe the guy was sick.

"Why am I worrying about you?" Kevin asked. "I should be worried about me." He sighed and rubbed his hand over one thigh. "You're sleeping, I'm stuck here, I'll sleep. I'll wake up, and this will all make sense to me." It was worth a shot. He kept on his shoes, in case he had to hit the ground running, and got in bed beside Drew. "Good night," he said. Keeping to his own side of the bed, atop the bedclothes, Kevin closed his eyes.

Drew watched dreams falter and die. Death trod hope underfoot. He hated this. He'd never reconcile himself to it. Never. He couldn't.

He heard a new noise, and turned. Kevin. "You came."

"Drew."

"You know me. You remember me."

"You... I know you. What are you doing here? Where are we?"

"This is how I know you. This is where you come to me."

"I've never been here."

"I've always been here. Waiting for you." He held out a hand; Kevin jerked back. "It's all right. I can touch you here. We're safe." He stroked Kevin's arm, looking up into dark green eyes. "It's all right. I can help you."

"Help me?"

"Now that you've seen me, you know me. You'll remember this moment when you awaken. You'll know who I am."

"Who...who..." Kevin stared.

"I can help you," Drew said in a soft voice. He meant it.

Kevin looked down at Drew's hand resting on his arm.

"I know the way."

Bonds severed. Bonds strengthened. Nick draped himself along his sofa and closed his eyes. Not only did everyone need him right now, Drew was going to need him, too. So was Jeff, although Jeff wouldn't admit to it.

"Since when do you sleep on the job?" Jeff asked, standing by the sofa arm, tugging at his hair.

"How's Drew?"

"Busy with our houseguest."

Nick pushed Jeff's fingers out of his hair and Jeff tickled his wrist. "Are you going to let me meet Kevin?"

"No."

Typical. Nick stretched and shifted, looking towards the portal. He gave a brief wave in that direction, and the mirror went from a hospital waiting room to AJ, asleep on a bus. He glanced upward for a moment. He stifled his smile and changed the scene to Brian, in the middle of a drugstore, talking and sparkling.

Jeff watched Brian.

Nick watched with lazy interest. He'd never known anyone quite like Brian. Oh, there had been a few similar people. Bright, strong, loving, giving people. But Brian shone with it. Beautiful.

"He's beautiful," Jeff said.

"Yes," Nick agreed. "If I would wish AJ's heart for anyone, I would choose Brian."

"High praise," Jeff said.

Nick smiled. "Very."

Drew brought light to the void. Standing close before Kevin, he looked up. One hand rested on Kevin's chest, fingers curling slightly in the cotton of Kevin's shirt. "You're safe here. It's safe."

"You can't protect anyone from anything."

"Why not?"

"Look at you."

"I like this outfit."

"You're too young and too small and too... You're not even real."

"I'm older than you'd think," Drew said. "Too small, you should feel this muscle," he said, flexing his bicep. "I am real. I'm right here with you. I'm here with you wherever you are. Here, my home, your home."

"How can dreams keep anyone safe? We still hurt and die and-"

"But I can help you. You can bear the pain. I can make everything better."

Kevin looked down at him. "You believe that."

"I know it's true." Drew smiled. "I'm the expert."

"Who are you? What do you call yourself?"

Drew frowned a little. "I suppose the easiest for you to understand would be the Weaver of Dreams. The Dreamweaver."

"The Dreamweaver." Kevin's hand rested on Drew's back through black silk. "You want to help me."

"You need me. Tell me what's happened to you."

"Nothing's happened to me. But I've, I've been all over North America, I've seen people, I've... We hurt each other and we destroy ourselves and there are people... People who have nothing, a woman with five kids and no support and two jobs, and the only thing keeping her going is what you offer her. It gets her nowhere. Nowhere! Maybe if you weren't offering her false hope, she'd find a real way to find help. But she figures if she just waits another day, another week, another month, her dreams will come true and her prince will come. Salvation awaits, if you're patient!"

"No, Kevin-"

"And having all of the ambition in the world can't save us. You can have the best goals for yourself, you can have the most elaborate fantasies, or the simplest dreams, and guess what? You're fired, you get cancer, your brother dies. And all of those dreams, they're fluff, they're nothing, they're smoke! They can't do anything!"

Drew's arms wrapped around Kevin's waist. Drew pressed his cheek to Kevin's chest and closed his eyes. Kevin's hand cupped the back of his head, keeping him close.

"You let us down, you mislead us, you betray us, you disappoint us. There's nothing you can do to save us."

"Dreams are not insubstantial," Drew said. "I'm tangible."

"When I wake up, I can't touch you."

Jeff's gaze flickered. He became still.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked, resting on the sofa while Jeff watched Brian, rejuvenating.

"He's dying."

Nick frowned. "Who?"

"Brian."

Nick sat up a little. "Right now?" Everyone died, all people died. He knew that, and Jeff knew that. But, this moment?

Jeff was leaving the room. Concerned, Nick followed to Drew's room. He chose not to comment on the animal standing guard, whom Jeff dismissed. Nick wrinkled his nose, then scratched it innocently when Jeff caught him.

Jeff knocked and entered. The bed light was on, and the room was still. Jeff made Nick stay put, out of sight, and went to the bed, parting the canopy.

Drew murmured and wakened. "This had better be important," he said, eyes closed.

"Bring Kevin Scott to the garden," Jeff said. "I'll feed him. We must talk."

Drew rubbed an eye, sitting up. "What's happened?"

"I'll be waiting."

Drew caught Jeff's arm. "Jeff." Jeff waited, looking at him. Drew gave his hand a gentle squeeze and said, "I'm sorry about the people in the plane."

Jeff nodded and left. Nick was about to duck in, but he pulled Nick along after himself.

Drew sighed. "Kevin? Kevin, are you hungry?" How was he supposed to wake someone he couldn't touch? By yelling? He picked up his pillow and hit Kevin with it. "Wake up. Jeff wants to talk to you."

Kevin's eyes opened.

Drew smiled. "Ready to eat?"

Kevin glared at him.

"Come on, Jeff's waiting."

Kevin considered. He was hungry, but he'd rather avoid Jeff. "Jeff?"

"He wants to talk to us. To you. I don't know why, but Jeff doesn't talk to people, so it must be important."

"Jeff doesn't talk to people?"

"Maybe you should comb your hair first."

The garden was vast. It consisted, on the whole, of natural grass walkways weaving around flowerbeds, bushes, and trees. There were plants of all varieties. Kevin saw enormous, old trees; well-tended roses; vibrant bushes. "You must have a dozen gardeners."

"Jeff looks after it," Drew said. On the small patio leading to the garden, Drew led Kevin to a table with chairs. "He even got food for you."

Kevin sat. A glass of orange juice; a glass of milk. A salad of spinach leaves and strawberries, topped with poppy seeds, honey, and yogurt.

"He remembered the fork," Drew said, sounding impressed. "Go ahead, it's delicious." He picked out a slice of strawberry with his fingers and stepped into the garden.

Kevin ate. He hoped it wasn't poisoned. It was good. Not too sweet. When he had a mouthful of spinach leaves, and a smear of yogurt on his lip, Jeff showed up and sat with him. Before he could swallow, Jeff whistled. A huge, drooling French mastiff padded up to their table from inside the palace through the open doors.

Jeff scratched the fawn-colored dog, who looked interested in confronting Kevin. "Go get Drew," Jeff said, and pushed the dog towards the garden. "Go on." It made noises at Kevin but trotted off on its duty. Jeff waited, glancing towards the sky.

Kevin swallowed some orange juice. "Thanks for lunch."

"Best I could do on short notice."

"Drew said this is your garden?"

"Yes."

Kevin heard Drew shout. Soon he heard happy peals of laughter.

Jeff came close to rolling his eyes.

Drew came around a bend, jogging towards their table. "Louis is silly. Have you met him?" he asked Kevin.

"The dog?" Kevin asked.

"I hope he was nice to you. They don't like new people. His father would have - - what did you want to talk about?"

"Tell me about Brian," Jeff told Kevin.

"Brian?" Kevin repeated.

"Brian Thomas Littrell. Your friend."

"Why?"

"I asked you."

"Is something wrong?" Drew asked.

"He's dying," Jeff said. "You know," he said, judging Kevin's reaction. "He knows."

"Last month," Kevin said.

"He's dying?" Drew asked. "No. What's wrong?"

"He got really bad headaches. Really bad," Kevin said. He pierced a slice of strawberry with his fork. "They started to make him nauseous. He was tired, his arm was...sort of weak, sort of... He went to the doctor, had some tests done, cerebral aneurysm. He has about a month left if it goes well."

Jeff nodded.

"No," Drew said. "Not Brian, he's... Jeff."

Jeff was thinking, fingers drumming on the glass tabletop.

"You can help him. It's so simple," Drew said.

Jeff looked at him. They both knew that it was anything but "simple."

"You've seen him, Jeff, you've met him. He shines, he's glorious. You can't let him go like this. There's so much...so much..." Drew struggled, frustrated.

"You've met Brian?" Kevin asked Drew.

"What?"

"He shines, he's glorious. That's Brian, but I'd never... I've never thought to say it like that." How could he have missed it? It was so obvious...

"I've never met him in the sense that you mean," Drew said. "But I know Brian. He's wonderful."

Kevin denied the tears in his eyes.

"Is that..." Drew sat, pulling a chair close to Kevin's side, facing him with concern. "Is that what's upset you? Brian's dying."

"He and AJ have more grand dreams than anyone I know," Kevin said. "AJ's are mostly for himself, and Brian's are mostly for everybody else. What good is it doing them? Brian's going to, before he even gets a chance..." Kevin looked away, pressing his lips together, forcing a steady breath.

"I didn't realize," Drew said. "Kevin-"

"Send him back," Jeff said.

"What?"

"Send him back," Jeff repeated, rising. "He doesn't belong here. You shouldn't interfere, you-"

"He needs me," Drew said. He was calm yet insistent. "I can help him."

"You cannot make a special case for everyone you see! Where do you draw the line?"

"He's special."

"You don't know that."

"I do know that. Brian's special, too. Anyone can see it. We can see it. We know he's special, and if we can help him-"

"Why him? Why not someone else? Why not everyone else? Why not invite everyone here, take each person one by one, see what we can do for-"

"We do what we can for everyone," Drew said. "We don't single out people because it's not our responsibility. But Brian, he's special, there's something almost magical... And Kevin, no one's ever come to me, sought my help. I have to help him, and I know that I can."

"Sometimes we have to deny individuals for the greater-"

"And sometimes we don't!"

"Get back in the house!" Jeff yelled.

"Why?" Drew asked. Kevin realized that Jeff had been speaking to someone else, not to either of them. "I want him to meet Kevin."

"Kevin is going home," Jeff said.

"Nick!" Drew called.

"You come out here and I'll destroy those rosebushes!" Jeff warned.

"That's not fair," Drew said. "They're lovely this year. Nick loves roses," he explained to Kevin. "If you want him in a good mood, you give him one. He plays with the petals for hours. You should see him-"

"If you don't take him back, I will," Jeff told Drew.

"Kevin is staying right here," Drew said. "I haven't done a thing for him yet. This process might go faster if he felt more comfortable here."

"It's not Kevin I'm worried about!"

"You care about everyone," Drew said.

"I care about you. Take him back."

"I can't, not now. Jeff, this is my...my life." Drew's gaze sought understanding. "Trust me to know what I'm doing."

"What are you doing?" Kevin asked.

"You're not helping," Drew snapped.

"Sorry." Kevin almost smiled.

"Would you rather take a walk through the garden or go back to sleep?" Drew asked.

"I'd like to see the garden," Kevin said.

Drew looked to Jeff for permission.

Jeff walked off on the grass. The huge French mastiff was at his side as he walked out of sight.

"That's Louis?" Kevin asked.

"Yes," Drew said. "I don't know how many generations we've gone through. Jeff remembers every one. They all look the same to me, and he names them all Louis. This one's very friendly."

"Who is he?"

"Who?"

"Jeff."

Drew glanced at Kevin as they started down a path of grass. "Who do you think he is?"

"Who's Nick?"

"Who do you think he is?"

"I haven't even met him."

"You know who I am."

"Drew."

"Yes."

"Do you prefer Dreamweaver, or Weaver of Dreams?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Are you..."

Drew smiled up at him as they walked.

Kevin decided he didn't want to know. This situation might take less toll on his sanity if he kept it more abstract. Drew might be a god. Might be immortal. Might be any number of things. "There are the three of you?"

"Yes."

"Jeff's in charge of plants and animals? That includes people?"

"People are animals, yes. Mammals."

"That wasn't my question."

"I know." Drew smiled at him again.

"Why doesn't he want me to meet Nick?"

"Maybe he's jealous. Nick's the pretty one. No, Jeff doesn't like us to come in contact with the world. Maybe he feels better if he can keep Nick out of your way, or you out of Nick's way."

"Nick's the pretty one?"

"Yes. He's quite beautiful. Well," Drew teased, "he's the pretty one when you're not here. Now that you're here, poor Nick comes in second place."

Kevin laughed. He couldn't believe this dreamer was making him blush.

Jeff hiked without care across the field. Louis was at his side, quiet out of respect to his mood. Reaching the field's end, Jeff grabbed a tree branch and broke it. A piece snapped off in his hand, and he flung it into the grass.

"Life! Death! It's as simple as that! That was part of a whole, living, healthy tree, and now it's dead, useless, nothing! One second it's there, one second it's not, and look! The world is no different! Nothing's changed! No one cares!"

Louis looked at the tree.

"The tree cares," Jeff admitted.

Louis sat and looked at him.

"I care," Jeff said. "Why do I care?! Everything dies! Everything ends! One day everything you've ever known will be gone! One day you'll be gone. One day...maybe one day I'll be gone..."

Jeff looked across the field. He could see the palace.

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe."

Louis sounded unhappy about that idea.

Jeff dropped to the grass. "He's just one person, Louis. One human. Here, gone, alive, dead. I could let him live forever. I could kill him now. I could let his body decide. I could give him two years, twenty years..." He was on his back now, closing his eyes. "A plane full of people, people working and people on vacation and people visiting their families and people changing their lives, people exploring their world, just died. All of them. Their bodies are in the ocean. I can tell you who every one of them was, I can tell you who they were and how their lives went and... I didn't save them. I didn't save one person on that flight. How can I save him, and not them? How can I save him, and the next time a plane goes down, watch it happen? Just...watch it happen."

The sky was a brilliant blue. Brian remembered being young and naming the clouds. Sprawled on the grass, gazing at the heavens, naming the clouds. After cartoon characters, kids at school, books of the Bible, whatever came to mind.

His phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Brian? This is AJ."

"How's Chicago?"

"It sucks. Have you heard from Kevin?"

"Not since yesterday, why?"

"What time yesterday?"

"He called me, said you'd just left. He was being quiet because he didn't want to wake somebody; he said he'd tell me about it later. It was early. Is something wrong?"

"I can't reach his phone, and he never checked in at the club in Philly. I can't find one of my girls, and if he has her, I want him to ship her over."

"One of your - - oh, the puppets."

"Right. I figured he'd be in touch with you. If he calls-"

"Sure, sure."

"Thanks. You okay?"

"I'm fine. It's a beautiful day here."

"Glad to hear it."

"This is a beautiful place," Kevin said. "Gorgeous garden."

"It is," Drew agreed. "Come and see the roses. They're so full and lush, Nick can't stay away from them. He said once that the soft petal of a flower is like the inside of a woman's thigh. I think it's like his lower lip."

"Are you sure he's your brother?"

"He's a beautiful creature. Am I not supposed to notice? He's gorgeous. I wish that you could meet him."

"Is he...nice? Sane?"

"He's wonderful. You'd like him very much. Everyone does. It's hard not to."

"He's nothing like Jeff, then?"

Drew laughed. "Are you trying to get into trouble?"

"Jeff is in charge of life and Nick is in charge of aesthetics?" Kevin guessed.

"You're getting there. Keep working on it."

It was raining. Hot. Humid.

He'd lost Emily. How could he have lost Emily?! She wasn't in her box, he always kept her in her box, how...

Brian sounded good. Fine. Normal.

And Kevin, Mr. Responsible, hadn't made it to the club? AJ hadn't seen him for months, and didn't expect to see him for a few months more, but he knew Kevin, and if Kevin was supposed to be at the club, Kevin would be at the club. Not showing up, not calling in...unusual.

Maybe Kevin had run off for a steamy weekend with that short diva. What was his name? Jeff's lover. He'd thought that Jeff was straight, but...clearly, he'd made a wrong assumption.

Jeff's lover was cute. Nuts, but cute. AJ wouldn't have minded taking him for a spin.

Wouldn't have minded taking Kevin for a spin, either. But Kevin had drawn that line early on, and AJ respected it. And as much as AJ would have given a kidney for a night, or two, or three, with Brian...before, Brian never would have let him. And now? The thought was sacrilege.

Kevin was missing, Brian was dying, and Emily was gone. AJ was losing friends left and right. It turned out he couldn't count on his puppets any more than he could count on people.

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