Sucker
Copyright
Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex
Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town
Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.
A word from our sponsor: For the purposes of Kevin and Chris's conversation, bastard = Lance, whore = Ashley, and cunt = Justin.
Continued from part eighty-eight
Brian had intended to hold out, to make him earn the first one, but good work deserve a reward. After a few hot, intense, gorgeous minutes while Brian just watched that busy, hungry mouth and let the pleasure build, he came, letting orgasm shake him, moaning with release while Jacob’s tongue swept up all traces of cum.
With a hand on Jacob’s shoulder, he sank back, smiling up at the ceiling. He was going to have a lot of fun with this one.
Dan loved him.
Dan missed him.
Dan thought about him every day and wore his bracelet every second.
Dan wanted to help him. Dan did believe him.
Taking even, deep breaths, Justin sat up. One hand clutching the phone to his chest, he wiped away his tears one last time.
He wasn’t a crying victim. He had Dan. Dan was out there, believing in him, caring about him, loving him. Defending him, respecting him, wanting to protect him.
Kevin had made love to him. AJ had given Dan back to him. Dan loved him.
“He loves me,” Justin whispered to himself. “Dan loves me.”
Kevin had made love to him, had kissed him like he was beautiful, had scrubbed dirt from under his nails.
He wanted to curl up in Dan’s embrace and think about that.
Kevin had taken him to the lake and fed him grapes and admired his body.
Both Kevin and Dan had spoken poetry to him on the same day.
He’d be good. He’d obey. He’d be humble and respectful. He’d listen to AJ. He’d do whatever Kevin said. He’d cooperate.
Maybe they’d be nice to him.
Maybe they’d let him have Dan back.
Head spinning, heart pounding, Jacob let the reality of it sink into him as Brian sank back. He hadn’t expected Brian to watch like that, and he’d had no idea how to play it up to put on a good show, so he’d just gone with whatever got the best response, putting a lot of tongue into it, varying the suction, sucking on Brian’s perfect, pink, round balls. Brian had a perfect erection, too, perfect, bigger than he’d expected, with a silky-smooth head he could’ve drooled over for days. Brian’s dick had just left his mouth only seconds ago, and already he wanted it back.
Licking his lips, Jacob crawled up Brian’s sated body, Brian’s hot, tense moans still echoing in his mind. He wasn’t sure what to expect, but when he saw Brian’s smile, he relaxed. “Feeling better?”
“I feel better than I have in ages.” With a smooth, graceful, rolling undulation that make his dick jerk - - he’d never seen Brian move like that before - - Brian shifted easily, turning that smile on him. “Let me see you,” Brian said, fingers skimming down his side, making him twitch at the flare of heat. He was hard, his dick aching and throbbing, his hips begging him to fuck something - - anything. “I want to look at you, I want to see all of you.”
Kicking off his jeans and squirming out of his underwear, Jacob was so worried about disguising the way his dick had leaked pre-cum all over his drawers that he was taken by surprise when Brian slid a hand up his thigh, kissing his shoulder. Shuddering, making a helpless noise, he tried to remember to be suave, to be romantic, to make things sexy for Brian.
“Help me touch you,” Brian whispered, kissing him, fingers crawling up his thigh. “Show me what you like.”
“Just,” oh god, he was too hard for this, he was too on edge to talk about it, “just give me your hand.” Guiding Brian’s hand to his pulsing erection, he groaned when Brian’s fingers curled around it, and then Brian’s palm rubbed against it, and there was a squeeze and a caress and a rich flare of ecstasy and he was coming, coming, twitching helplessly and crying out and squirting cum like a geyser.
“Oh,” Brian said, like he hadn’t expected that.
“Oh, shit,” Jacob breathed, still coming down from it, dazed, limp.
“Oh,” Brian said again, and he snickered.
“Hey,” Jacob protested, weakly collapsing onto his side.
Laughing, Brian rolled over to him, kissing his chin and brushing his hair from his face. “Do you always take that long? My hand was getting tired.”
“You’re making fun of me for this?” Jacob asked. “You made me hot. Very hot.” He kissed Brian’s jaw, considering. “A little too hot.”
Brian cuddled up to him, pressing to him, inch by inch, all the way down. “It feels so right, to be here with you like this.” Soft kisses, softer nuzzling, Brian’s fingers exploring over his body. “It feels so natural.”
“I love you,” Jacob whispered, gazing into his eyes. “I want to share this with you forever.”
“You’re so special,” Brian said, Brian’s thigh pressing intimately between his, Brian’s hand stroking up his back. “I knew that I loved you, I knew that I wanted to be closer to you than I’d ever been to anyone, but I didn’t realize that it could be like this. I didn’t know that I could want you like this, I didn’t know that I could feel like this. What else didn’t I know about us? What else was I too blind to see?”
“We know it now,” Jacob said, soothing him with words and hands, “we see it now. We’re together, we’re here.”
“We’ve missed so much,” Brian whispered, regret in his eyes. “We could’ve shared so much.’
“Share with me now,” Jacob said, holding him close. “Share this with me tonight.”
He’d had such a good day, he was sure that he’d be able to sleep.
But his back was unprotected, and no one was there to look out for him.
He’d made promises to AJ, but he didn’t want to intrude on Joey’s time with AJ, so he told himself to relax, reminded himself that the light was on and the door was locked, reminded himself that he was perfectly safe.
Until he woke up with a start, sweating and panting and clawing at his throat.
Shaking, he didn’t dare close his eyes again. He held the phone to his chest and thought about turning on the TV. But AJ would take one look at him in the morning and know that he hadn’t slept, and he couldn’t disobey AJ, not when it could mean losing Dan.
Joey was never going to forgive him.
Pulling on AJ’s clothes, not about to walk in there naked, Justin crept to AJ’s room. It was late, and he didn’t hear anything, so he carefully opened the door. He heard them before he saw them; Joey was snoring. When his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see AJ asleep in Joey’s possessive embrace, draped intimately against Joey’s body.
Joey really, really was never, ever going to forgive him.
Sneaking into the room, Justin hesitated by the side of the bed. What exactly had he promised? To get in bed with them? Or just to show up in AJ’s room? Was this good enough? What if he sat and hung out for a few hours?
But that wouldn’t work. He’d known what AJ had meant, and if he didn’t obey correctly, AJ would be pissed.
But if he did obey, Joey would be pissed.
He thought about the way that Dan had said his name at the end, soft and loving him. Juthtin. He thought about how badly he needed to hear that again, and what it would be like to have it in person.
Carefully, holding his breath, he edged onto the bed. Gingerly, he lay down, exhaling slowly.
Joey had stopped snoring.
Justin froze, utterly still.
Quietly, like a stake through his heart, he heard, “Justin’s here.”
“Mmm.” Rustling, and AJ rolled over, hands sliding over his body. “Take that off.”
No, no, “I don’t-” Shit, AJ was undressing him. “No, I can do it,” he said, getting up to evade AJ’s hands. He took off AJ’s clothes but left on his underwear, carefully crawling back onto the bed. “I can go,” he whispered, trying to push off AJ’s hands. “I just-”
“Shut up,” AJ said, sounding tired and impatient. “Roll over.”
Turning his back to AJ, Justin wondered why Joey hadn’t reached over and punched him yet.
Making an indecipherable noise, AJ hauled him back until he was against AJ’s body. Oh, god, AJ was spooning him and Joey was probably spooning AJ and, “I can go back to my room and-”
“Shut up and go to sleep,” AJ said, hand sliding over his chest.
Justin couldn’t relax.
Joey wasn’t snoring.
AJ was asleep.
“I’m sorry,” Justin whispered.
Joey didn’t reply.
“You’re so sexy,” Brian said, kissing his ear, sucking gently down his neck, pressing him down into the pillows. “You’re so sexy, Jacob, the way you move, the way you kiss me.”
“God, oh,” he groaned as he felt Brian’s arousal against his stomach as Brian settled between his legs. “Oh, Brian, you’re hard, you’re hard for me, oh…”
“I can’t stop thinking about the way you,” Brian kissed him, “your mouth,” grinding against him, “the way it felt, how hard I was, how hard I came.”
“Let me do it again,” Jacob whispered urgently, arching against Brian’s heat, “oh, let me suck it.”
“God, Jacob,” Brian panted, hungry for his kiss, “I want it so much, I shouldn’t want it this much.”
“You should, you should,” Jacob moaned, grinding up against his dick, burning for it. “I do.”
“Thank you,” Kevin murmured, eyes closed.
“Thank you for asking Brian to speak to me.”
“You’re welcome.”
“He said the most beautiful things to me.”
“I can tell.” Opening his eyes, Kevin kissed Chris’s cheek. “Go to sleep.”
“Okay.” Chris rolled over, closing his eyes. A full minute passed in silence before he asked, “Do you mind if I masturbate?”
Kevin’s voice was sleepy but amused. “Yes. Do it in the bathroom.”
Deciding to get Jacob off again, he took Jacob’s dick in his hand, fondling it while he kissed Jacob’s neck and whispered about love. He was gentle to it, petting it delicately, until it was rock-hard and Jacob was squirming desperately and his fingers were slick with pre-cum. It was such a pretty little thing, eager for his touch, that he wanted to do more, wanted to test it, wanted to play. But he couldn’t pay too much attention to it, not yet, not this soon. So he kissed Jacob’s mouth, feeding off of needy groans while he applied just the right amounts of friction and pressure to just the right spots, until Jacob rocked into his fist and made needy sounds and came all over him.
He nuzzled against Jacob’s neck while Jacob panted and shivered and relaxed in his arms. “I love you.”
Soft, overwhelmed, raw: “Oh, god, Brian, I love you so much.”
“His flight?” JC asked sleepily, yawning.
“When his plane leaves, when he’ll get there, where he’s staying. We should have talked to him today.”
“Especially since it sounds like he’s having a bad day,” JC said.
Howie’s caress slowed. “You know that it was Lance,” he said quietly.
“The credit cards?” JC asked. “I guessed.”
“I know that playing pranks is a good way to blow off steam,” Howie said. “I know that Lance wants to get to Erik, and Chris wants to get to Jacob, and you hate Ashley. But you can’t let yourselves get focused on the wrong targets. We need you using your anger to fuel the game in the right direction.”
“I know,” JC said.
Sighing, Howie drew his nails across JC’s collarbone. “When Justin dyes Trevor’s hair green, it causes tension in the Townhouse, it gives Justin some fun, and that’s fine. When Justin destroys Trevor’s car, that’s not acceptable. We can’t let things escalate that far. There are boundaries that I don’t trust Justin not to cross.”
“He wouldn’t put Trevor in danger,” JC said. “He wouldn’t cut Trevor’s brakes.” Justin wouldn’t go that far. Besides, “He doesn’t even know how.”
“The five of us know where the limits are,” Howie said. “We understand how to control situations. I trust you, JC, I trust you to know where the lines are. But Justin’s unpredictable. Lance is feeling powerless and frustrated. He’s tried to take that out on Brian and Jacob, but if he targets Erik…”
“Let him,” JC said, putting his hand over Howie’s. He didn’t want to cut off Lance’s avenue to revenge. He got his own vicarious little thrill from hearing about Lance striking back. “Let him, if that’s what he wants. It will make him feel more involved in the game. We can use it to our advantage. It’ll make Erik feel like everyone is out to get him, like he’s being attacked by his best friends. He’ll have no one to turn to but us.”
Howie kissed his shoulder, the back of his neck. “All right. It is nice, to have someone else doing our work for us.”
JC laughed. “I wish that we could get someone to have sex with him for us.”
“It’ll be easier now that we can share him again,” Howie said.
“It’s been so nice,” JC said, shifting appreciatively against Howie’s body, “having an experienced lover again. Erik’s very enthusiastic, but he doesn’t have your…”
“He’s not suave,” Howie said.
“No,” JC said, “he’s not.”
Now, with the lights off, nestled among the pillows, they slid cozily against each other, familiar now, even closer than before, all barriers stripped away. Brian’s eyes shone, and Jacob kissed under his jaw, fingers slipping into his hair. Naked in the light from the heavens above, Brian was beautiful, and pure, and his.
Forever his.
Could he go? Was he allowed to leave? He’d stayed, he’d slept, so now he was allowed to get the fuck out, right?
Prying AJ’s hands off of him, Justin carefully rolled over. “AJ,” he whispered, not wanting to wake Joey. “AJ.” He touched AJ’s arm.
Eyes still closed, AJ pushed at him. “You can go.” Having dismissed him, AJ rolled over, plastering himself against Joey and going right back to sleep.
In a blur, clutching the phone, Justin escaped the bed, snatching up clothes and slipping from the room. Exhaling in relief, he quietly but firmly closed the door.
He tried not to think about what Joey had done to leave those marks on AJ’s back.
“Yes, I am,” Chris said brightly, turning with a smile. Kevin was in the doorway, wearing jeans and nothing else, looking tired and irritable.
“Stop singing.”
“Okay. Would you like breakfast? I made biscuits and scrambled eggs and omelets and waffles and orange juice.”
“And pancakes,” Kevin said. When he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his jeans slid down an inch, revealing very, very fascinating bits of skin.
“Of course pancakes.” Pancakes were the most Brian-related food there was, in Chris’s world. “Would you like some?”
“Let’s start with orange juice,” Kevin said. “And be about seventy-five percent less perky.”
“Yes, sir,” Chris said, trying not to smile. He poured out some orange juice and came around the table, offering Kevin the glass. Straightening from his centerfold doorway lean, Kevin took the glass in one hand, fingers of his other hand curling around Chris’s necklaces. Taking that as a cue to stay put, Chris waited while Kevin drank.
Setting down the empty glass, Kevin kissed him. “Brian talked to me.”
“Brian?” Chris asked, immediately feeling bright and alert. Then he remembered that he was supposed to de-perk, and made himself stop bouncing.
“He told me to tell you to feel free to talk to me about him.”
“He did?” That must mean that it was okay to talk. “I love him so much, he’s everything to me, he’s more than everything, I-”
“Chris,” Kevin said, releasing his necklace, one thumb sliding slowly across Chris’s neck, “did you really think that I didn’t know you’ve been fucking Brian?”
That was a difficult question to answer. “Yes and no.” According to Brian, Kevin hadn’t known, which meant that Kevin hadn’t known. According to Brian under other circumstances, Brian hid nothing from the boys, which implied that Kevin would know all about Brian and Chris’s time together, but Brian had acted like it was a secret, so in Chris’s mind, it had been a secret. Brian’s ability to operate in several realities at once had made it possible for Chris to learn, on an amateur level, to do the same.
“Don’t think,” Kevin said darkly, “for one second, that I don’t know everything.”
Everything. Everything about him. Everything about him and Brian. Everything about everything.
“You can’t hide anything from me,” Kevin said, tipping his chin up, looking sternly into his eyes. “Do you understand that?”
“Yes, sir.”
“My time with you and Brian’s time with you, never overlapped. Brian only calls for you when he knows that it won’t interfere with my plans. When I need you to be somewhere, you’re there. When I need you to be with Trevor, you’re there. Brian understands that.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Brian respects me,” Kevin said, his grip on Chris’s jaw tightening. “I would hate to think that you don’t respect me, Chris.”
Kevin’s hold on him was now painful, but Chris couldn’t look away from Kevin’s gaze, much less pull back. “I respect you,” he said. “I respect you, I love you, I’m the most devoted person to you since,” he knew better than to bring up that subject, “ever.”
“Are you?” Kevin asked, eyes narrowing.
“I’ll do anything for you,” Chris promised. “Anything you want.”
“Good.” Kevin’s hand dropped. “Then you’ll have no trouble with what I ask you for today.”
“No trouble,” Chris agreed quickly. He didn’t rub his jaw; he didn’t think that it would go over well.
“Before we get to that,” Kevin said, “let’s have breakfast, and you can pour your heart out to me about Brian.”
Oh, thank god. “May I speak freely?” Chris asked.
“Yes,” Kevin said, taking a seat at the table.
“I love Brian with all of my heart and soul, but sometimes I wish he weren’t so playful. I know that sounds terrible, and I hate myself for wanting to change anything about him, and I’m sorry that I can’t be a better person, but he’s playing with other people and it makes me jealous.”
“You mean the bastard, the whore, and the cunt?” Kevin asked.
Chris gazed at Kevin adoringly. “I love you.”
“I know,” Kevin said.
He heard a shower running, and he went to his own room, leaving the kitchen clear for them. But then there was a knock at his door.
He opened it partway and said, “I’m fine, I’m fine, go have breakfast with Joey.”
“He’s in the shower,” AJ said, pushing the door open wider and holding out a hand.
Pushing down on a quick spike of fear, Justin ignored that hand. “You can talk to me after he leaves. I’m not taking up his time with you.”
“How’s Danny?”
“We can talk about him later.” Justin wanted to talk about him now, had wanted to talk about him since waking, but that had to wait. “Go be with Joey.”
AJ snapped his fingers. “Come on, give it up, you think I’m waiting for a handshake?”
No. “The battery’s dead. It doesn’t even work. Just let me hold on to it.”
AJ shook his head. “You and your fucking dependency on inanimate objects.”
“I could be dependent on people if you’d stop taking them away from me.”
“Do we have to go through this?” AJ asked. “Give it to me or I’ll take it from you.”
“You wouldn’t hurt me in front of Joey.”
Dark eyebrows rose. “Do you really want to test that theory?”
“The battery’s dead,” Justin said again, frustrated. “I can’t even use the damned phone, so why can’t I just-”
“If I count to three,” AJ said, “and it’s not in my hand, you’re screwed. One.”
Justin handed it over, backing up. “I’m sorry, AJ.”
AJ turned away, closing the door.
Entirely his.
Brian studied Jacob’s nudity. His love had a skinny body, but it was hard and tight with muscle. Pretty nipples, tight abs, and a nice dick.
Brian loved to play with dicks. They were so easily manipulated, so vulnerable, and such traitors to men. They could respond with eager enthusiasm even when mouths and brains said no, they could shrink and play dead in response to fear, and when they were overexcited or reaching orgasm, they could leave some men practically incapacitated.
Jacob, apparently, loved to play with dicks, too, or at least with Brian’s. His natural talent and maybe even Lance’s training had helped; he was going to need less intensive training than Chris. Brian’s pet had been a mess! Then again, Chris had been straight, and hadn’t really wanted to have sex with a man. Jacob at least was authentically attracted to men.
It was hard to look at Jacob’s naked body and not touch it; Brian pulled one of the pillows to his chest, squeezing it, fondling it, stroking it, gazing at the lines of Jacob’s hips, the pale flesh of Jacob’s dick, the short brown curls clustered around the base of it.
Jacob rolled over, on his side and facing Brian now. He frowned, shifted uncomfortably, and opened his eyes.
“Good morning,” Brian said, his voice quiet and friendly but with a trace of hesitance and uncertainty. He smiled a little, but left questions in his eyes. It was time for The Morning After, time for him to feign just enough confusion to get Jacob to want to reassure him, but not enough to be accused of truly doubting last night’s choices. He couldn’t seem to be second-guessing what had happened last night, but he could get close to it.
“Hi,” Jacob said softly, smiling at him. Then, licking those pretty lips, Jacob attained a look of quiet concern. “Are you okay?”
A mistake; an amateur’s question. Someone with Jacob’s angle of seduction should have made a statement, leading the target down the chosen path. Asking such an open-ended question could cause the victim to wonder and decide that no, he wasn’t really okay, and that could bring trouble. Brian, of course, played on an entirely different level, and didn’t have to abide by beginner’s rules, but Lance should have taught Jacob better. Now, however, he had to answer the stupid question. A small smile to start; he left the pillow where it was, between their bodies, a barrier, but he also reached over, bridging the gap between them, and touched Jacob’s chest, tracing a short and not all that sexual line between his pecs. “I’m still putting all of this together,” he said, his tone one of confession.
“I know that it’s… It’s not what I expected, either,” Jacob said. Privately, Brian had to acknowledge that it was true. After a lifetime of repression, Jacob hadn’t expected to enter into a homosexual relationship at all, much less as the seducer. “We don’t have to push it,” he added, “we don’t have to go too far right away.”
That line was an expected one, but Brian didn’t want to play along. “I don’t think that we should hold back, either,” he said, his fingers wandering across Jacob’s chest and stroking Jacob’s collarbone. “I’m still figuring this out, but… This has to be right, it feels so right. Last night, what we shared with each other, we could’ve done that before now. We should have. I feel like we’ve already lost time. I don’t want to rush ahead just for the sake of it, but I don’t want to miss out on anything, either.”
“We’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with,” Jacob said. “We’ll go at your pace.”
“What about you?” Brian asked. His thumb strayed across Jacob’s nipple, and Jacob’s hand tensed, fingers curling in a little. Brian didn’t linger there, though, allowing Jacob to see it as casual, incidental. “What do you want?” The question came out as simple words, without any sexual overtones.
Jacob grinned; not too much, not wanting to scare him off. “I’d like a good morning kiss.”
Smiling, allowing himself to be teased in by that, Brian braced his hand against Jacob’s chest, leaning in, the pillow still between them. “Good morning,” he murmured, eyes bright before he closed them and brushed his lips over Jacob’s.
Jacob’s lips parted beneath his, and pursued him when he pretended to back away. It was a sweet kiss, light, gentle, but with no stopping point. Jacob didn’t make the mistake of turning it too hot too fast, but eased him into it, stroking his side, his back. Feeling Jacob’s hand rubbing and caressing his body turned Brian on, and he kissed back a little harder, playing along.
The firm flesh under his hand thrilled him. He explored once again what he’d learned last night, the eroticism of Jacob’s body, the sensuality of skin, taut and warm and subject to his whim. Every inch of Jacob that he touched, he claimed as his own, flesh and muscle and bone. He took his time, stroking each line with loving adoration; he wanted to know everything, wanted to learn each plane and curve. Brian intended to know Jacob’s body with obsessive and frightening detail.
When his hand slid down to Jacob’s ass, rubbing gently and cupping lightly, Jacob pulled the pillow away and rolled back, putting him on top, still catering to his supposedly heterosexual tendencies and intending to soothe him by allowing him the dominant position. Jacob didn’t try to grind up against him, either, probably not wanting to frighten him away with the reality of being intimate with another man’s dick. Hungry for the feel of Jacob’s body against his own, Brian wanted to rub against him, but held back, knowing better. Biding his time, he ran his hand over Jacob’s chest, up and then down, letting his touch linger low on Jacob’s stomach, fingers drifting downward as he kissed Jacob’s neck, licking a little, sucking softly. His love’s desire for him tasted delicious.
“Mnmn, oohh, Brian…” Stroking his hair, Jacob moaned, writhing and wanting him. Predictably, Jacob put a hand on Brian’s dick, which was conveniently hard; also predictably, he made a hot, aroused sound and, predictably, offered to suck Brian’s dick.
It was a reasonable offer; it was something that Jacob liked to do, and something that Brian had reacted to well the first two times. It was a safe choice, and a smart one. Jacob was correct to suggest it. Brian, however, had set a few personal goals, and if he wanted to move forward to them, he couldn’t let this morning be an obvious repetition of last night. “I want to feel you against me,” he said, lowering himself onto his love. His groan of pleasure mingled with Jacob’s soft, passionate moan as his body settled intimately against Jacob’s. Sharing such a private, primal moment with his love made Brian’s heart pound with true happiness. There was something natural and instinctive about the way that Jacob immediately ground up against him, and he responded right away, kissing Jacob’s hungry, panting mouth as their bodies rocked and slid and rubbed against each other. Jacob’s erection was already leaking precum, and Brian was quick to catch up, creating a slick, sticky, sweaty patch between them to rut in.
Moaning, twisting and bucking beneath him, Jacob gripped his back, squeezed and rubbed his ass, and kissed him with honest passion. The press and slide of their tense, needy, rocking bodies echoed sex in its intimate, primal rhythms, and it wasn’t long before the inevitable hunger for climax took over.
Jacob succumbed first, of course, shaking and gasping as he came. Fucking through the pool of Jacob’s cum, Brian forced on a faster rhythm, rocking against him, hips rolling, breath harsh. It was going to feel good to come on Jacob, to mark him, to claim him, and Brian let himself go, freed his body to do as it would, coming hard and moaning in satisfaction, feeling ecstasy shiver through him.
It was going to be a good day.
AJ certainly sounded…happy.
“Even when he hurts you?” Kevin asked.
“Brian’s complicated,” Chris said. “I know that when I get there, he might not let me leave happy. That never slows me down on my way over. But it’s still hard, sometimes, it’s hard to, to, it hurts. It hurts and I don’t understand.”
“You don’t understand what?”
“Brian,” Chris said. “Why is he like that? Why does he do things? Why does he say things? Why did he tell me that he, when he, about, I don’t want to know that!”
“He told you that he blew the cunt because it would upset you,” Kevin said. “He knew exactly how much it would hurt you, and that it would damage your friendship with Justin. He knew that you’d still love him, that you wouldn’t retaliate, and he said it to make you feel powerless and helpless.”
“Hurting people isn’t fun,” Chris argued.
“Brian thinks that it is,” Kevin reminded him.
Chris watched Kevin eat. “Do you like to hurt people?”
“I don’t do it for fun,” Kevin said. “I do it because they deserve it.”
Chris poked at his pancakes. “The whore doesn’t understand what a blessing it is to be touched by Brian.”
“If he were at all intelligent, he’d be less of a whore,” Kevin said.
That was a fair assessment, Chris supposed. “You know everything?” he asked.
“Yes,” Kevin said calmly between bites.
Chris shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “How does the bastard treat Brian when they’re, when he’s, when,” he didn’t want to say “having sex,” but he couldn’t think of another term for it that was any easier to say.
Kevin’s tone was a shade darker now. “Not respectfully.”
Misery uncoiled in Chris’s chest. “I told him, I told him that he has to do it right, I told him to make it good, I told him that he can’t - - I told him!”
“He didn’t listen.”
Chris couldn’t talk about Brian anymore, he couldn’t. He still had questions and concerns, dozens and hundreds and millions, but he had to stop for now. He wondered, though, if there might be a way to ask one last thing. “Kevin?” he asked, bravely.
“Mmm,” Kevin said, still eating, calm, unaffected.
“Brian said that…the cunt…that his back was, that it, uh, he, god.” He didn’t want to get smacked. “Did someone whip him recently?”
Kevin’s gaze met his briefly. “Yes.”
Swallowing, Chris thought about that. Either AJ had done it, or Kevin had. If Chris was seeing Brian and no one knew about it, then Justin could be seeing Kevin without Chris knowing about it. Although, if Kevin weren’t seeing Justin, then AJ must have done it. Which changed Chris’s understanding of the nature of AJ and Justin’s relationship, but made Chris’s life easier. “Have you seen the cunt recently? At times or in places that I wouldn’t know about?”
“Yes,” Kevin said, not bothering to look at him.
Oh, god. Kevin and Justin, together again. Chris wanted to run from the room and find Justin and make sure that he was still all in one piece. Because of Justin’s special little liaison with Brian, Chris wasn’t going to go near him, but the urge was still there. Kevin had whipped Justin. It was hardly front page news to Chris that Kevin whipped Justin, but he didn’t like the confirmation that it was ongoing. “He seems intact,” he ventured.
“AJ coddles him like a little girl with her first pet bunny,” Kevin said darkly. “It’s disgusting.”
Clearly, Kevin was offended. Which meant that AJ was being nice to Justin. Which was good. Chris had no idea how to help Justin, had no idea how to stop Kevin. Maybe doing his best to keep Kevin happy would put Kevin in a better mood in general. “What can I do for you today?”
Kevin smiled. “Something very simple and very quick.”
He knew about Justin’s trouble sleeping, he knew that Justin had nightmares, he’d let Justin crawl into his own damned bed before. But waking up to find Justin crawling into AJ’s bed, like he wasn’t even there?
Maybe sharing the bed had been AJ’s idea. Maybe Justin hadn’t wanted to do it. Maybe spending the weekend away, without seeing or speaking to Justin for a few days, sounded really good.
It had worked. It had happened. It was here, and it was real. Brian loved him, even enough for this.
Lance might give Brian head, but did Brian let Lance come against him? Did Brian grind and rock against Lance until Lance came? Brian had shared with Jacob, had crossed boundaries for him.
This was love. This giving to each other and caring for each other and doing anything for each other. It wasn’t only about lust, it wasn’t only about compatibility, it was so much more pure and complex than any of the vague, clichéd, misguided excuses everyone else used.
Jacob was glad that he hadn’t scared Brian last night. He’d wanted to create a new and sexual intimacy between them, but he’d worried that if he went too far too quickly, he’d raise a red flag. Going down on Brian had been a risk, but since it was something that Lance did anyway, apparently Brian found it acceptable.
Leaving the shower, Jacob dried off and dressed in some of the clothes he’d left in Brian’s closet, then went to the kitchen, where Brian was singing and flipping pancakes.
“Nice tune,” he said, smiling just at the sight of Brian’s carefree warmth, coming around close and leaning back against the kitchen table.
“I was just wondering,” Brian stroked his chest and stomach, eyes twinkling with good humor, “if this makes you my boyfriend.”
Shrugging, Jacob ran his hand down Brian’s back. “I’d like to think that what we have goes deeper than that. But that might be the term that other people can understand best. If you’re interested in anyone else knowing about it.”
“This is so important, I have to tell the fellas,” Brian said. Then he frowned, concern flashing through his eyes as he petted Jacob’s ribcage. “What about your friends?”
“I wouldn’t trust one of them to keep a secret,” Jacob said. “And I don’t think that they need to know anything about this.” They’d never understand it; they’d only twist it into ammunition for future arguments.
“I don’t want you to lie to them,” Brian said, turning over a pancake, hand slipping under the hem of his shirt to caress his side. “I like them so much. But now, with Ashley…”
That lying motherfucker. As if Brian would hurt anyone. “Forget about Ashley. I won’t have to lie to anyone. You and I are still friends. If there’s more to it than the word ‘friendship’ implies, that’s our business, not theirs.”
“That makes you my secret boyfriend,” Brian said, grinning, kissing him. “Oh, that’s good. I can,” a sweet kiss, “do this whenever I want?”
“Whenever you want,” Jacob agreed, kissing him, loving how easy this was, how natural. It was so right to do this, so right.
“My secret boyfriend,” Brian murmured, chuckling, kissing him, brushing his hair aside and kissing his cheek, his temple. “My secret lover.” With one last kiss, Brian turned aside to check on the pancakes, then tugged on his belt loop. “Can I keep you here, all to myself, today?”
Screw practice; the guys were leaving town, anyway. “Yeah,” he said, grinning at Brian’s pleased smile. “I’m all yours.”
“Mine,” Brian murmured, kissing him, chuckling again, caressing his cheek. “All mine.”
Jacob should’ve done this weeks ago.
“Sweetness,” Nick said. “What’s up?”
“Do you need anything before you go?”
“Yeah, I need you to come over.”
“Do you need me to be there in person, or can we talk over the phone while I pack?”
“Your dick isn’t that big. I think you’ll need to be here.”
“You want me to come over for sex?” Joey asked. “Nick, I have to pack, I have to see Ashley, I have to-”
“So you shouldn’t have stayed so long with AJ,” Nick said. “Plan ahead better next time. Just come over, we can make it fast.”
“I’m not coming over for a quickie,” Joey said.
Nick laughed. “I didn’t think you turned down sex. Did AJ wear you out?”
After considering multiple answers, Joey settled on, “We had a good time.”
“I’ll bet you did,” Nick said; Joey could practically see his smirk. “Look, I want you to fuck me before we go to Vegas, so it’ll be out of the way. I talked to some of the fellas and they think that it might bring us closer, or whatever. But if you’re out of commission, we can just-”
“You want me to fuck you?” Joey asked.
“Are you listening?” Nick asked. “Yes, fuck, you, me, but if you can’t get it up, we-”
“I can get it up.” Probably.
“You were just talking about how you don’t have time,” Nick reminded him.
“It doesn’t have to take that long.”
“Oh, great, now I really want it.”
“You just…” Joey smacked the wheel in frustration. “Why didn’t you tell me about this when you decided to do it?”
“I decided last night, but you were busy fucking around on me. Are you coming over or not?”
“I’d rather be packing.” Joey took a deep breath, reminding himself that if he didn’t do it now, Nick might never bring it up again. “Fine, yeah, I’ll come over.”
“Make it quick,” Nick said. “I have a plane to catch. Love you.” Nick hung up.
“Yeah, I love you, too,” Joey muttered. “You son-of-a-bitch.”