Sucker
Copyright
Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex
Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town
Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC,
and O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here
described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way
in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money
from this venture.
Continued from part eighty-one
Shaken, shocked, Ashley stared as Brian left. What the hell had just happened?! Who the fuck had that been?! Brian didn’t act like that! Brian didn’t talk like that! Brian had just backed him into a corner to grab his dick! It had been so strange, so quick, over so fast… The conversation had gotten a little weird, yeah, but it was Brian, he hadn’t thought that he was in, what, in danger from Brian!
Danger. Oh, god, danger. He’d just been, what, groped? Molested? Was that what it had been? But he was a guy, he was a grown man, grown men didn’t get molested. Brian had grabbed his dick, okay, that was bizarre as all hell, but it wasn’t like he’d been in serious trouble. He could’ve done something, he would’ve done something, if Brian had really done anything, if it had kept going.
Confused, stunned, feeling violated and not knowing what to do about that, Ashley realized that Trevor and Dan were still in the pool, that he could hear them laughing and talking and splashing. They’d been right on the other side of the door the whole time. Brian must have walked right past them. Brian must have gone to the kitchen, was probably there right now, hanging out with Erik and Jacob. Oh, god, this whole thing was too surreal.
Did Jacob know that Brian was like this? He couldn’t, he couldn’t, if Jacob knew then Brian would be long gone. Jacob constantly sang Brian’s praises; he’d never do that if he knew that Brian acted like this. Jacob didn’t know. None of them knew.
He had to tell them. They had to know. Jacob needed to know. Brian was sick. Maybe even sick enough to think that Ashley wouldn’t say anything. But Ashley wasn’t going to let some nasty freak treat him like shit in his own home.
Laughter. “Hold on,” Dan called, probably to Trevor. “Ashley.” The door, left ajar, opened wider under the push of Dan’s hand. “Come on, we’re getting breakfast. Did you eat yet?”
Ashley pushed his shaking hands into his pockets. “Is Brian out there?”
“He might be in the kitchen,” Dan said. “What’s going on?”
“He grabbed me.” The incident itself had been so bizarre, it felt strange to say it. “He grabbed me,” Ashley repeated, to make the idea more real, “we were talking and he started saying-”
“Brian?” Dan asked, frowning. Trevor came up behind him; he put a hand up to quiet Trevor, stepping further into the room. “What do you mean?”
“We came in here, he said that he wanted to talk to me alone.” God, had that been a fucking set-up? Had Brian planned this? When? “He wanted to talk about Joey, or he said that he did, but then he started asking me about if I’d been in a threesome and he told me what a whore I am and he grabbed my dick.”
“Brian?” Trevor repeated. “Brian grabbed your dick?”
“Was he…playing?” Dan asked, struggling to understand about as much as Ashley was.
“He wasn’t playing, he was leering at me and moving in on me and calling me names!” Ashley protested. “He said he bet I’d love to be on my knees for it right now!”
“Whoa.” Trevor took a step back. “Brian Littrell? Said that? To you? Just now?”
And what had he done in return? Stood there. Took it. Fuck it, fuck it, no. “I’m not letting him hang out in my kitchen and eat breakfast at my table like he’s one of our friends. He’s a fucking pervert, he’s a fucking freak, and he’s getting the fuck out of my house,” Ashley said, leaving Jacob’s room.
“Ashley,” Dan said, following him.
“Shit, Ashley, wait!” Trevor was right behind him.
With an impressed whistle, Lance leaned back on the bed, watching everyone desert Jacob’s room on the monitors. What a performance! Brian deserved an Oscar. Everything had been perfect, from the innocuous opening to the slow build-up to the final outburst. Backed into that corner, Ashley had looked genuinely, thoroughly frightened.
Brian had been right; Ashley was the perfect target. What a coward!
By the end of the game, Ashley would be able to suffer through much worse without batting an eyelash. He’d learn; he’d toughen up. It would still hurt just as much inside, maybe even worse, but it wouldn’t show on the outside. The trick wasn’t not to feel anything; the trick was not to show it. Even Justin and Chris knew when to hide their pain and smile.
Brian had on one of his bandannas, tied tight, and just seeing it there made Jacob smile. Somehow, the bandanna framed Brian’s face perfectly, only emphasizing the unique symmetry of his features. Damn, he was beautiful.
“Get the fuck out of my house.”
Wondering what the hell was going on now, Jacob
turned, plate in hand, to see Ashley staring at Brian. Ashley was red-faced,
almost visibly shaking. In any other instance, Jacob would’ve jumped right to
Ashley’s defense, because anything that made Ashley react like that had to be
serious. But since Ashley was throwing this shit at Brian, he set down the
plate and narrowed his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“Ashley?” Brian asked, sounding as surprised as Jacob felt, at the
table with Erik, a forkful of pancakes halfway to his mouth.
“I want you the fuck out of my house.” Ashley was upset, angry in a scared way. Behind him, Dan and Trevor were damp and half-naked, looking confused.
“What happened in Jacob’s room?” Dan asked.
With a concerned frown, Brian set down his fork. “I asked Ashley about Joey and Nick. I wanted to understand where he was coming from, and I thought that he might talk more one on one without an audience around. But he didn’t want to talk about it.”
“He called me a whore and grabbed my dick,” Ashley said. “He asked me if I’d ever been in a threesome. He said that he bet I’d love to be on my knees for it right then.”
“What?!” Erik demanded, coughing.
“I said what?” Brian asked, stunned, staring wide-eyed. “Ashley, you - - what?!”
Jacob crossed his arms over his chest, eyeing Ashley and wondering where the hell this level of bullshit came from. Ashley couldn’t honestly expect anyone to believe it.
“You think that Brian Littrell grabbed your dick?” Erik asked.
“He grabbed my dick, and he told me to get a clue, and he said that I’d give it up for anyone,” Ashley said. “He’s completely fucking nuts, he had this look on his face like he was some evil lecherous child molester, he-”
“Child molester?” Brian asked, shocked. “Ashley, I don’t - - what are you doing? Why are you saying this? I’m sorry if I offended you by asking about you and Joey, you got irritated so I let it go. Maybe I should have left it alone after my apology yesterday, but-”
“Don’t act like I’m making this up,” Ashley said. “You’re a fucking freak and I want you out of my house.”
“I don’t understand,” Brian said, bewildered. “Ashley, where is this coming from?”
“It’s coming from a demented conversation about whores and three-ways! How did you expect me to react?”
“That’s not what we talked about at all,” Brian said, incredulous. “You said that you didn’t want to talk about Joey and Nick, and you seemed kind of upset, so I didn’t push. We were only in Jacob’s room for a few minutes, how could I - - why would - - I can’t even imagine doing something like that to you!”
Jacob had had enough. He’d seen enough; he’d heard
enough. “When did this happen?”
“Five minutes ago,” Ashley said. “You saw him-”
“Right, when Brian asked you, in front of me and Erik, if he could talk to you alone. Where did this happen?” Jacob asked.
“In your room. He-”
“Exactly where he told me and Erik he’d be, with Trevor and Dan right beside you in the pool. You two left about ten minutes ago and Brian came back alone. Did you have trouble finding your way back?”
“I was stunned, I-”
“Where’d you hit him?”
“What?” Ashley asked, lost.
“If a guy walked up and grabbed me and I wanted him off me, I’d punch him,” Jacob said. “Where’d you hit him, in the face? In the gut?”
“I, I didn’t hit him anywhere,” Ashley said, stumbling a bit in his answer. “I couldn’t, I mean, I could have, I, it was just so fast, I mean, he-”
“How loud were you guys?” Jacob asked Dan and Trevor. “You didn’t hear Ashley yelling and screaming? What did he say when he came out of my room?”
“I didn’t hear anything,” Trevor admitted, looking like he didn’t know what to think. “He didn’t come out, we came in, but he said basically what he’s saying now.”
“I wasn’t yelling and screaming,” Ashley said. “I was too surprised. The whole thing was so crazy, he-”
“Yeah, it sounds pretty crazy,” Jacob said. “That’s
one thing we agree on. Brian Littrell, who’s straight and religious and has
higher moral standards than the rest of us put together, the guy who apologized
to all of us yesterday, especially you, for ever hurting your precious feelings,
invited you to my room, in front of witnesses, walking past more witnesses who
were right within hearing range, just so he could cop a feel and call you
names? And you didn’t do anything about it until five minutes later?”
“You’re blaming me?! He grabbed my fucking package!” Ashley
shouted. “He-”
“Your dick or your package?” Jacob asked. “Are you changing your story?”
“Changing my story?! He grabbed my package!” Ashley exclaimed.
“You said your dick,” Jacob said. “A few times. Now it’s something else?”
“I meant package. He grabbed my package. What difference does it make? It’s the same damned thing! He,” Ashley accused, pointing at Brian, “has no business putting his hands on me at all!”
“This is insane! I didn’t grab anything!” Brian exclaimed. “Why would I want to feel you up?!”
“We still haven’t figured out what you think he grabbed. What else did you mean to say, Ashley?” Jacob asked, very interested. “Did he grab your ass, too?”
“Why don’t you ask him what he said!” Ashley said. “Ask him what he meant when he said that he knew I’d give it up for any dick that crossed my path.”
“Any dick?” Jacob asked. “You said anyone, before.”
“There’s that dick again,” Erik said.
Ashley stared at them. “You don’t believe me.”
“Not one grotesque word,” Jacob said.
“It does sound kind of weird,” Erik admitted.
“Ashley wouldn’t make something like this up,” Dan said. “You can see how upset he is.”
“Do you have a complex?” Jacob asked Dan. “Do you need to rescue every lying bitch in your path?”
“Lying - - now you’re joining in?!” Ashley demanded. “Do you want to grab me now, too?!”
“No, and neither does Brian,” Jacob snapped.
“It’s so crazy, it’s too weird to be made up,” Trevor said.
“It’s also too weird to be true,” Erik said.
“Fuck you!” Ashley shouted. “I should have expected Jacob to side with his goddamned precious Brian, but I can’t believe that you two think that I would lie about being attacked in my own home!”
“Attacked? Now I’ve attacked you?” Brian demanded, rising. “This is too much, Ashley, you’re going too far. This whole thing is insane. I’m not attracted to you, I don’t want you, and I would never grab you. Even if I were attracted to you, you’re basically my best friend’s boyfriend’s mistress, which makes you the last person I would mess with. Now all of a sudden I’m trying to take it from you? And you’re saying this to everyone in this house! Who else are you going to tell? How far are you going to take this? What are you trying to accomplish?”
“Don’t act innocent,” Ashley warned. “Don’t you dare-”
“You’re lying,” Brian said sharply, his eyes flashing. “What do you want, Ashley, what are you really after? If this is about Joey, you chose the wrong way to play games to make him jealous. I’m not going to let you spread this filth about me just so you can get attention.”
“I-”
“I wanted to ask you about Nick and Joey, but you didn’t want to talk about it, and now suddenly you come flying out of the room ten minutes later with accusations? I don’t understand it. Maybe I would understand it if you’d answered any of my questions. I thought that I’d jumped to conclusions about you, I thought that I was being overprotective of Nick and his relationship, but after today, I really don’t want you around Nick or Joey. I w anted to stay out of it, but I’m going to have trouble keeping my mouth shut about this. Nick and Joey need to know how unstable you really are, because this is ridiculous.”
Ashley’s mouth dropped open. “Are you threatening me?”
Brian stepped forward, his expression tense with anger. “I was trying to reason this out and let you back off your little story, but you won’t drop it. You’d better find a way to let this go, and I had better not hear that you said one word about this to anyone else. I can’t afford to have rumors circulating about your made up little fantasy. If you want Joey’s attention, you’d better find another way to get it. But think fast, because I’m going to let him know exactly who you really are.”
Ashley stared, stunned, as Brian stalked off. “He threatened me!” he exclaimed, turning to them. “You all saw that! He threatened me!”
“You call that being threatened?” Erik asked. “If I bump into you on the stairs, is that physical assault or a murder attempt?”
“I believe him,” Dan said firmly. “Something happened.”
“You also believe Justin Timberlake,” Jacob snapped. That was proof enough of Dan’s ability to be conned by any idiot with a story full of holes. Hurrying from the kitchen, Jacob tried to catch Brian before he left, but he was already gone, his car leaving the driveway. Jacob couldn’t believe that this was happening, couldn’t believe that Ashley was doing this to them. He wouldn’t let Ashley hurt Brian; he wouldn’t let Ashley ruin what he and Brian shared. He’d fix this, no matter what.
Slumped in his seat, watching the rearview mirror, Chris waited. Unfocused, his thoughts wandered.
Brian.
“I won’t,” Brian whispered, “if you don’t want me to.”
Looking into Brian’s eyes made Chris anxious, his heart beating faster. “It isn’t about what I want. It isn’t about what I don’t want. It’s about what you need.”
“No, it isn’t.” Brian’s voice was quiet, and when he touched Chris’s face, Chris swallowed nervously. “Not anymore.”
Brian.
Laughing, eyes crinkling, Brian rolled onto his back. Smiling, happy to have cracked Brian up again, Chris pushed at him, and he pushed back, still laughing. Pulling up Brian’s shirt, Chris blew a raspberry on his stomach and he laughed harder, saying Chris’s name in weak protest, collapsing into hysterics when Chris licked him.
Brian.
“I love you.” Brian held onto him tightly, so tightly it hurt, or maybe that was just the sensation of his heart beating right out of his chest. “I’ll always love you, I’ll love you forever. We’ll be together forever.”
Brian.
Brian’s car. Sitting up straighter, immediately attentive, Chris monitored its progress, watched it drive up behind him. Slowing down, it passed by, then stopped directly in front of him.
Running nervous hands over his hair, Chris got out of his car.
Brian got out, too, meeting him there by the side of the road. “What are you doing out here?” Brian asked, blue eyes curious.
“I’m sorry, Brian,” Chris said.
“About what?” Brian asked. “You look tired. Are you getting enough sleep?”
Brian was being friendly but changing the subject. Brian didn’t want to talk about their last conversation. Adjusting accordingly, Chris said, “I’m fine. I sleep all right.” That wasn’t necessarily true, but he didn’t want to bother Brian with his problems. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, pet,” Brian said, giving him a smile. “Are you going to see Trevor?”
“I was,” he said, hoping that it was the right answer.
“It’ll be an interesting visit. They’re a little bit upset right now.” Brian smiled innocently. “I molested Ashley.”
Trevor didn’t know what was going on or what to do about it. He wanted to believe Ashley, because it was crazy to think that Ashley would make up something this serious. Then again, Ashley had lied recently, acting like he wasn’t having sex with Nick when he definitely was. Of course, that was a different kind of lie.
But Brian Littrell, molesting somebody? Brian Littrell? Okay, yeah, apparently not all Backstreet Boys were perfect angels, considering how Nick and especially AJ had acted lately, but AJ’s crazy bullshit violence didn’t mean that Brian was like that, too. The idea of Brian attacking somebody was one of the most bizarre things he’d ever heard. Brian had just apologized to Ashley not even twenty-four hours ago, had just asked to be friends.
He didn’t want to think that Ashley would make up insane lies, but Ashley did want Joey’s attention. Accusing Brian of molesting him was kind of a weird way to try to get it, though.
When Trevor mentioned that, Erik said, “Not if he’s desperate. He spent all day yesterday moping around because Joey was busy with Nick.”
“No one says that they were molested because a guy forgets to call,” Dan said. Dan was beside Ashley near the sink; Jacob and Erik were near the table. Trevor was halfway between the two sets, not ready to commit fully to either side.
“This isn’t about Joey!” Ashley exclaimed. “This is about that insane freak who has everybody conned! He said that I wouldn’t say no to sex if I already had twenty guys lined up for it, I’d just mumble yes around the dicks already in my mouth.”
While Trevor stared in shock and Erik burst into laughter, Jacob only looked more pissed off and demanded, “What, now he said all of that, too? What else did he say that you forgot to mention but somehow suddenly remember now that he’s not here to defend himself?”
“He doesn’t need to defend himself!” Ashley snapped back. “You’re doing it all for him! What the hell is wrong with you?!”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Jacob shouted. “Brian didn’t molest you! Brian didn’t touch you! Brian doesn’t want you! Not even Joey wants you enough to show up consistently, so you can sure as hell bet that Brian doesn’t give a fuck about you!”
“And neither do you!” Ashley shouted. “Your new best friend grabs my package and says crazy shit to me in your room, and all you can do about it is yell at me?”
“Brian is my new best friend,” Jacob said, his tone vicious, his expression contemptuous. “I don’t know where the hell my old best friend went, and I don’t care enough to find out.”
Giving in to the tears that had been threatening to fall for a while, Ashley stormed out of the kitchen. Trevor heard his footsteps on the stairs; his bedroom door slammed.
“Where do you get off talking like that?” Dan asked Jacob. “Ashley wouldn’t make up anything that extreme just to get attention. You not believing him and acting like this, accusing him of being the one doing wrong, is betraying him all over again. And if you’re so goddamned sure that he’s lying, why aren’t you more concerned about how desperate and scared he must be inside to make something like that up?”
“What I’m concerned about is Brian,” Jacob said. “What Ashley’s saying is extreme, and it could get dangerous. What do you think is going to happen if this bullshit gets to the wrong person? Ashley’s saying that Brian Littrell, of the Backstreet Boys, cornered him and molested him, Ashley Parker Angel from O-Town. What the hell do you think the tabloids would do with that?”
“As long as Brian and Ashley’s stories don’t match, we can’t prove what happened,” Dan said. “We may never know for sure, unless one of them confesses or we pick up fingerprints from Ashley’s pants. Until then, if Ashley says that someone attacked him, then someone attacked him.”
“Ashley wouldn’t really try to take this to the press, would he?” Erik asked.
“That depends on Joey,” Jacob said.
“This has nothing to do with Joey, but it may depend on Brian,” Dan said. “You’d better talk to him about making an apology.”
“An apology?” Jacob repeated. “Ashley’s the one who’s going to be apologizing. The three of you had better get the truth out of him before he crosses my path again, because if I hear him spout one more word of that sick, bullshit story, I’ll show him what being attacked in his own home is really like.”
“You molested Ashley,” Chris repeated. He felt his brain warping again, his thoughts twisting like tortured metal.
“I didn’t say anything that bad, and I barely touched him,” Brian said. “I just gave him a little squeeze. He’s throwing a fit about it, but Jacob doesn’t believe him.”
Proving loyal to Brian was a smart move on Jacob’s part. Brian wouldn’t have appreciated even a moment’s hesitation in choosing sides. “Sounds like you had a busy morning,” Chris said, trying to appear normal. Trying to appear normal was pretty much a permanent struggle. It ranked somewhere above breathing and circulating blood on his list of constant occupations.
“After you see how things are going in there, call Kevin,” Brian said. “I want to stay updated on where everyone stands.”
“I’ll call,” Chris said.
“You should have seen his face.” Brian grinned. “He got more and more nervous until he was really afraid of what I’d do next. He should’ve trusted his instincts and gotten out of there.” A smile. “Too late now.”
“Ashley.” Dan sat beside Ashley on the bed. Putting his hand on Ashley’s back, he rubbed in slow circles, listening to Ashley sniffle. It reminded him too much of Justin, and he wondered what Justin was doing, what was wrong with Backstreet, if he was too quick to jump to judgment. Did he want to vilify Brian because he couldn’t get to AJ? Did he want to help Ashley because he hadn’t been able to rescue Justin? Was he really so naïve that he was being fooled by both Justin and Ashley? What did it say about these situations that he was the only one who believed them?
“I should’ve done something,” Ashley said, his voice half-muffled by his pillow. “I should’ve yelled or hit him or something, anything. I didn’t even curse him out, I just let him walk off.”
“What Brian did was wrong,” Dan said. “It’s not your fault for not reacting a certain way.”
“But now no one believes me. If I’d yelled, you guys could’ve come in.”
“We might not’ve heard you,” Dan said. “Even if we did hear you, he could still lie and act like you were making it up or overreacting. Ashley, this isn’t about you and what you could’ve done. This is about Brian and what he did. No one has the right to touch you somewhere you don’t want to be touched.”
“I’m not a child,” Ashley muttered, sitting up, his tone defensive as he wiped away tears.
“It doesn’t matter how old you are, your body belongs to you,” Dan said. “Seven or thirty-seven or seventy-seven, you should be able to stand around wherever you want without anyone grabbing your crotch. Adults get molested, Ashley. Men can get molested.”
“It wasn’t even about sex,” Ashley said. “It didn’t feel like he wanted me, it didn’t seem like he was coming on to me, it felt like… It was so weird, he looked at me like he hated me, he sounded like he wanted to hurt me. Guys have come on to me before, Joey’s not the first one, and it’s never been like that. He hated me so much I couldn’t breathe, he looked at me like I was disgusting, like I was crawling with maggots, like, I thought he was somebody else, like that wasn’t even Brian.”
“I’ve never seen that side of him,” Dan admitted. “I don’t think that any of us have. But that doesn’t mean it’s not there,” he added, when he saw mistrust cloud Ashley’s eyes. “I believe you,” he said quietly, in case Ashley needed to hear it.
“What’s wrong with him?” Ashley asked. “Why would he act like that?”
After turning those questions over in his mind, Dan said, “People hide things. Parts of themselves that they want to keep private, parts of themselves that they’re ashamed of, parts of themselves that are, I don’t know, inconvenient. We never knew that Joey and Nick were together. We never knew that AJ was a violent sociopath. We never knew that Brian was…whatever he is.” No one knew that he’d fucked AJ to keep everyone safe.
“I guess it wouldn’t be good for their careers,” Ashley said.
“It wouldn’t,” Dan agreed. “I don’t know why what Brian pretends to be is so far from who he really is, but I don’t even know him that well. We’ve all seen a lot of him, but the only one he really sits down and talks to is Jacob.”
“I should’ve called for you guys earlier,” Ashley said. “I should’ve followed him out of the room.”
“It’s not about you or what you could’ve done,” Dan said again.
“They think that I'm lying,” Ashley argued. “They might believe me if I’d done something else. What happened was crazy, it freaked me out, but I could handle it if they believed me. But they don’t, they won’t even listen to me, and that makes me feel like shit even more than what Brian did. What he did was bad, but them not believing me is worse. He freaked me out, and I don’t want to be alone in a room with him ever again, because the way he turned on me was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen, but I could get over it. I can’t get over the way Jacob and Erik are acting. He laughed! Erik laughed at me!”
Dan had put a lot of thought, recently, into other people’s reactions to their friends’ hardships. “He might not know what else to do.”
“He should trust me!” Ashley exclaimed.
“He might not know how to help you,” Dan explained. “If he believes you, if he admits what really happened, then his best friend was just molested. He can’t fix that, he can’t take action, he can’t keep it from happening because it’s already done. I think that we all understand that you’re not going to take Brian to court. All Erik can do, if he accepts the truth, is tell you how sorry he is, but that won’t undo what happened. It’s easier for him to think that you’re lying, because then you’re safe and you’re fine, and that’s what he wants.”
“He’s turning a blind eye to make himself feel better?” Ashley asked.
“Maybe,” Dan said.
“What about me?” Ashley demanded. “What about how I feel? I’m the one who feels like shit! I’m the one Brian turned on! What were we supposed to do when AJ attacked Erik, leave him in the pool and pretend not to notice? And what the hell is wrong with the Backstreet Boys? Are they all a bunch of bullies and sociopaths and freaks?”
“Maybe not all of them,” Dan said. “I wanted to talk to Kevin and Howie today, about AJ. Maybe I’ll throw in a few questions about Brian, too.”
“Howie’s supposed to be nice,” Ashley said. Sighing, he added, “Then again, so was Brian.”
“Kevin sweetened up Trevor’s car,” Dan said. “I don’t know what I’ll get from talking to them, but it’s worth a shot.”
“Oh, thank god,” Trevor said, hustling Chris into the house. “You have no idea how freaked out we all are.”
“That I wasn’t here?” Chris asked, closing the door.
“You know Brian better than we do, don’t you?”
“That could be a safe assumption,” Chris said, putting his hands in his pockets.
“Is he normal?” Trevor asked. “Does he ever get weird?”
“I’m going to have to ask you to define ‘weird,’” Chris said, walking over to the living room and sitting on the coffee table.
“Weird,” Trevor said, sitting on the couch, facing him. “Sexually off, or aggressive, or… Has anybody ever complained about him?”
“Complained about Brian?” Chris twiddled his thumbs, thinking about it. “He’s a little too attractive, sometimes. That kind of thing can get excessive. And he’s a little too talented, which can bother those of us in the opposition.” He let his forehead wrinkle up. “Sexually off? What does that mean?”
“Ashley said that Brian cornered him in Jacob’s room and,” Trevor hesitated, “basically,” another pause while he tried to find better words, “molested him.”
Chris’s eyebrows shot up. “Brian Littrell?”
“That’s our problem,” Trevor said, sinking back, defeated. “Maybe if he’d said Nick, that would make sense, or AJ, we could believe that. But Brian, that’s hard to get my head around. It’s like being told that Howie strangles puppies with his bare hands, I just can’t accept it. But Ashley’s really upset about it, and Dan believes him.”
“Dan came to my house yesterday,” Chris said. “To talk about, you know,” he tapped his fingers on his knee, “his big cause. He’s so dedicated to it, I wanted to help him out, but I couldn’t. What he thinks is going on just isn’t there.”
“Why would people make that shit up?” Trevor asked. “Why would they lie about it?”
“Well…” Chris laced and unlaced his fingers. “I wouldn’t want to be rude, but some people are a little disturbed. I wouldn’t say that Ashley’s disturbed,” he added quickly. “Maybe he misunderstood what happened.”
“He said that Brian grabbed the goods,” Trevor said. “It’s hard to misunderstand that. And the things that Ashley says Brian said, they’re pretty clear. They’re just nothing like anything I’ve ever heard Brian say. Stuff about getting on his knees, dicks in his mouth, crazy shit.”
“I wouldn’t necessarily say that being called a blowjob-giver is an insult,” Chris said. “For a lot of people, it’s just the truth.” He gestured at Trevor’s neck. “Can I borrow that?”
“Oh, yeah,” Trevor said, reaching up to unhook his necklace. He handed it over. “I don’t want to think that Ashley’s lying, but I can’t believe Brian would act like that.”
“It’s a big lie,” Chris said, twining the chain around his fingers. “Has Ashley lied before? In a big way?”
“He lets people think that he and Joey aren’t as
serious as he really thinks they are,” Trevor said. “He keeps lying to people
about Nick, when they’ve been fucking pretty much this whole time. Normally I’d
flip out from jealousy, my best friend having three-ways with Nick Carter and
Joey Fatone, but having you around made that a lot easier to take.”
“You’re welcome.” Chris untangled the chain from around his thumb.
“Do you think that Ashley’s lying to get Joey’s attention?” Trevor asked. “He’s always worried about Nick, and if he thinks that Joey’s not spending enough time with him…”
Chris retucked his legs. “That would make sense. This way he gets to say that Joey has competition, that Joey isn’t the only one who’s interested in him. And he can say that it was an unwanted advance, because then he’s still loyal to Joey. And now one of the Backstreet Boys is a sexual predator, which makes Nick look bad by association.”
Trevor stared at him. “I don’t know how you did that, but I am so turned on right now.”
“Psychology’s very sexy,” Chris said.
“Everything you just said, it puts Ashley right on top,” Trevor said. “If he is lying, then he’s brilliant, because that should really work.”
“That is the biggest hole in the argument,” Chris said.
“Yeah,” Trevor agreed. “I don’t think Ashley’s smart enough to come up with all of that.”
“It could be unconscious,” Chris suggested. “He may have put it together without completely understanding his motivations.”
“He was in Jacob’s room for a while after Brian left,” Trevor said. “I don’t know how long, but Dan and I were in the pool and we saw Brian walk out, and it was a few minutes before we went in there. What Brian did to him wasn’t so bad he had to be in there crying in the corner, so what took him so long to react?”
“How did he look?” Chris asked. “Upset?”
“Dan went in before I did,” Trevor said. “When I got there he just seemed kind of pissed off.”
Chris thought. “What do Erik and Jacob think about it?”
“We think it’s a load of crap,” Jacob said, coming in and sitting on the arm of the sofa. “Brian’s the most ethical person in the entertainment industry. He’d never do anything like that, and Ashley knows it.”
“Chris figured out why Ashley would lie about it,” Trevor said. “Tell him your thing,” he urged.
“He wants Joey’s attention,” Jacob said. “It’ll be a cold day in hell when Joey Fatone’s attention is worth fucking up Brian’s life and career for.”
“No offense,” Trevor told Chris.
“Brian’s better than fifty of Joey,” Jacob said. “Chris knows that.”
“Oh, I don’t think that I should go there,” Chris said. “Even if Ashley’s lying-”
“Which he is,” Jacob said.
“-it’s not Joey’s fault. I can just about guarantee you that he’ll be as shocked as anybody else.”
“He’d better not hear about it,” Jacob warned. “I don’t want any of this to go farther than it already has. It’s already spread to seven people now, and we’re not going to make it eight.”
“Brian said that he was going to tell Joey and Nick,” Trevor said.
“That’s up to Brian,” Jacob said. “No one else is saying a word. I’ll lock Ashley in the house and take away his phone if I have to.”
“We can’t lock Ashley up,” Trevor argued.
“Do you know what would happen to Brian if this gets out there?” Jacob asked. “I’m not going to risk it.”
“If Ashley did this to get Joey’s attention, maybe he should just go tell Joey about it,” Chris said. “Then he’ll get a reaction, and it’ll be over.”
“How do you think Joey’s going to react?” Trevor asked. “He won’t believe him, will he?”
“I don’t know,” Chris said. He hadn’t been fully briefed. He didn’t know whether it would be more advantageous for Joey to believe or not to believe; he didn’t know which angle the Boys were pushing. Either way, Chris’s life had just gotten that much harder. He didn’t like people knowing the truth about Brian, but now Ashley was in the club. He didn’t like it when people talked about Brian too much, because Brian’s name and reputation were sacred to him, and he didn’t trust other people to treat those things well. Brian was his favorite subject, but in a specific and personal way; he didn’t like to share.
Jacob didn’t believe Ashley, and Trevor didn’t want to; Erik was probably on their side. Dan did believe Ashley, which meant that Dan believed that Brian was capable of sexually predatory behavior; Chris would have to warn the Boys about that. They’d have to keep an eye on him.
When Joey’s phone rang, Nick asked, “Who is it?”
Checking it, Joey said, “Ashley.” Before he could answer, Nick took the phone from him, turning off the ringer. “What?”
“You’re spending time with me today,” Nick said, handing the phone back with an intimate smile. “Angel can wait.”
“Hey, Chris.” Dan came into the living room. “Would you mind moving your car?”
“Where are you going?” Jacob asked.
“To see some people,” Dan said.
“Wait,” Jacob said, putting out a hand as Chris got to his feet. Not at all surprised that Jacob would tell him what to do, Chris stayed put. “You’d better not tell anyone what Ashley said,” Jacob warned Dan.
“I’m going to see Kevin, Howie, and JC,” Dan said. “I don’t think that, if it comes up, they’ll run to the police or the press.”
“Are you running around talking to everyone?” Trevor asked. “Chris said that you went to see him.”
“I’m talking to Justin and AJ’s friends directly about their situation,” Dan said. “So far no one’s been interested in helping Justin, but I still have three people left.”
Justin. Justin. “I’m sorry, I’m so nervous - - have you
talked to Justin?”
“What are you, some sort of crusading avenger?” Jacob asked. “Leave
it alone. Justin’s fine, and he’s happy with AJ, and he probably won’t
appreciate you doing all of this on his behalf.”
“He told me that he loves me. He stood right over there and told me that he’s in love with me. He told me that he’s mine. He, he promised himself to me. Can you believe that?”
“I know Justin better than you do, and I disagree,” Dan said.
“I might’ve given him head a couple of times. I couldn’t help myself. He was right there, and he was offering himself to me, and his back was so pretty, and… Was I wrong?”
“Chris, you know Justin better than Dan does, don’t you?” Jacob asked, turning to him. “What do you think?”
“I’m tired of talking about it,” Chris said, stressed out enough to allow himself a glimmer of honesty. “I’m tired of talking about the whole damned thing, who’s doing who and who’s lying about what and why it’s happening. Great stuff happens and shit happens and it’s usually all at the same time.” At least now that they were staring at him strangely, they weren’t saying that name anymore. “But I will move my car.”
“What are we doing in here?” Joey asked, as Nick studied racks of clothing.
“I need something to wear onstage,” Nick said.
“Don’t you have a stylist?” Joey asked.
“I’m just going to throw on jeans or something,” Nick said. “Deciding what to wear isn’t a big deal. I have to decide what the hell to sing.”
“Yeah?” Joey asked. He’d never listened to the album, so he had no idea what Nick’s songs were. He tried to remember the single he’d heard Nick mention. “You’ll do ‘Help Me,’ obviously.”
“Right, but I’m doing an eight-song set,” Nick said. “I hate deciding what to do. You do it.”
“Me?” Joey asked. Hell, no.
“Yeah. Decide and get back to me. Oh, did I tell you Howie’s coming?”
“To Vegas?” Joey asked. That sounded like…fun?
“Yeah. He and JC got back together last night, so they’re coming along to get some bonding time.”
“Howie and JC?” That changed things a little. A lot. A whole hell of a lot. “Does JC know?”
“Howie’s not going to kidnap him,” Nick said.
Joey had to ask. “Are you really this insensitive?” Maybe that had been a stupid question.
“To what?” Nick asked, glancing at him. “Oh, what, you’re worried about JC? He’s going to be all coupled up with Howie.”
Joey stared at him. Nick couldn’t be that oblivious. “He’s in love with you. You’re going to Vegas to fuck his best friend.”
“What, you’d be happier if I fucked him?” Nick grinned. “That could be arranged.”
It was almost stupid, what a good idea that was. “You think Howie would mind?”
Nick looked at him, surprised, considering. “You wouldn’t care?”
“I’d fuck AJ on this floor right now if I could,” Joey said. “You’re my boyfriend-”
“And you love me.”
“And I love you,” Joey added, playing along. “But I think that JC and I would both be happier if you spent some time being good to him.” He’d better emphasize that point. “Being good to him,” he repeated firmly. “Don’t fuck with his head.”
Nick shrugged, but he was smiling. “I’ll talk to Howie about it. Don’t tell JC until I check my schedule and decide what’s up.”
Joey suspected that JC wasn’t in any big hurry to talk to him, anyway.
“Hello,” Kevin said.
“Hi, this is Chris, I have an urgent minion report.
Jacob and Erik and Trevor don’t believe that Brian molested Ashley, but Dan
does, and he’s on his way to your house.”
“Dan,” Kevin repeated.
“Yes. He just drove away.” Fortunately, Chris had
temporarily lost the ability to feel anything for a certain person, because
otherwise, his brain might explode in empathy at the idea of Kevin and Dan
meeting alone face-to-face. “He’s going to see Howie and JC, too, and he didn’t
say which one’s first. He’s going to want to talk about Brian and AJ.”
“Dan Miller,” Kevin repeated. He sounded intrigued.
Kevin didn’t often sound intrigued, but Chris was well aware that whenever Brian got that tone, things took a turn for the worse. “Do you want me to find anything out? Trevor said that Brian said that Ashley made it up to get Joey’s attention, so I went with that, but I’ll say whatever you want.”
“I’m sorry,” Kevin said. “I should’ve prepped you for it this
morning. We don’t want anyone to believe Ashley. What’s the biggest argument
for his side?”
Chris was so shocked by Kevin’s apology, it took him an extra beat
to catch up. “I, uh, there doesn’t seem to be one. At first, Trevor was
worried about Ashley lying. He didn’t want to believe that Ashley would
deliberately make up something that damaging. But we cleared up why Ashley
would lie, so he’s more resigned to it now.”
“What was your reason?” Kevin asked.
Chris explained to Kevin what he’d told first Trevor and then Jacob, solidifying in their minds exactly what Ashley got out of lying. “I haven’t talked to Erik, but Jacob said that he doesn’t believe it, either, so he shouldn’t be a problem.”
“If he has any questions, Howie and JC will handle it,” Kevin said.
It was nice of Kevin to include JC like that. “What about Dan?” Chris asked.
“We’ll let Dan stay on Ashley’s side,” Kevin said. “Let him pointlessly defend another pathetic cunt. It’ll be good for him.” There was no anger in Kevin’s voice; his tone was casual, even conversational. “Is there anything else?”
“No,” Chris said. “I love you,” he offered.
“Are you all right?” Kevin asked.
“I’ll be okay.”
“Call me if you need anything,” Kevin said. “You did a good job today. What you told Trevor and Jacob is exactly what I would’ve told you to say.”
“Thank you,” Chris said. An apology and a compliment, all in one call? Kevin was outright spoiling him.
“And the clothes!” JC exclaimed. “Those clothes are gorgeous!”
“I can’t wait to see you in them,” Howie said. “Did you see the brown pants with the-”
“The ones with the laces?” JC asked. “They’re perfect, they’re crazy, I’m going to wait to wear them until I’m going someplace huge.”
“Someplace huge?” Howie asked. “How about Vegas?”
“Vegas?” JC repeated. “What’s in Vegas?”
“I thought that it would be nice to go,” Howie said. “So the two of us can spend some time together, to reconnect.”
“That would be great,” JC admitted, surprised but very much interested. “I’d love to get away.”
“That’s the problem,” Howie said. “It wouldn’t be getting away from much. We wouldn’t go alone.”
JC groaned, sitting back in his chair. “Erik.”
“I think that it would be a good test,” Howie said. “We just got back together, and we’re taking a few days away, in Vegas, just the two of us, to rebuild our relationship. We invite him along, but he can’t tell anyone that he’s going, because no one can know that we’re fucking him.”
“He has to disappear to Vegas for a few days, without anyone knowing where he’s going or why?” JC asked. “Erik can’t pull that off.”
“He’ll have to,” Howie said. “He would never miss the chance to vacation in Vegas with us. Can you imagine what Vegas means to him?”
“The decadence capital of the world,” JC said.
“I’d love to get away from everything and spend time with you,” Howie said. “I’d love to go with you alone. But we have to put the game first, even when that’s really hard to do.”
“I know,” JC said. “I understand that.” Raking his fingers through his hair, he sighed. “It could still be a good trip,” he said, trying to sound positive. “Maybe we can get him to run off and chase strippers while we get some alone time.”
“We could buy him a few friends to play with,” Howie suggested with a smile. “That should keep him busy for a while.”
Laughing, JC said, “I’ll ask Joey which numbers to call.”
Howie hesitated. “That’s the other complication.”
“What is?” JC asked. What could be worse than bringing Erik along?
“The reason for Vegas in the first place is that Nick’s playing there,” Howie said. “He’s taking Joey.”
“Oh.” JC found it difficult to breathe around his chest wound.
“I know,” Howie said, wincing. “It’s not my favorite idea, either. But it makes our cover story easier. Nick’s performing, so I’m going to see him. Joey’s going, because he’s Joey and that’s what he does, and you’re going with Joey. We’ll fly there and back separately, but we’ll stay in the same hotel. I’m going to tell Erik to go incognito, so it isn’t a sudden multi-group invasion.”
JC wanted to go somewhere else, somewhere that Nick and Joey wouldn’t be, somewhere very far away from Vegas, but he didn’t want anyone to think that he couldn’t handle it. He wouldn’t let them accuse him of being weak. “It sounds like a pretty good plan. We’ll have to be discreet.”
“I know that you’ll have no trouble with that,” Howie said. “The person I’m worried about is Erik. He’s not exactly subtle.”
“He’ll learn,” JC said, as the doorbell rang. “That must be Dan.”
“Are you ready?”” Howie asked, getting up from the table.
Continue
on to part eighty-three
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