Sucker
Copyright November 24, 2002-December 9, 2005 by Matthew Haldeman-Time
Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex
Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town
Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.
“Let’s go shopping.”
AJ raised his eyebrows, crossing his ankles.
“You said yesterday that we could go shopping,” Justin reminded him. “I have to buy new clothes so I’ll look better for Kevin.”
When AJ held out his hand, Justin accepted it, kneeling astride his lap where he sat on the sofa. “We can’t go today,” AJ said. “Maybe tomorrow. We have something else to do today.”
Justin curled in closer, his arm around AJ’s shoulders, resting against AJ’s side. “What are we doing today? Do you have a new way to fuck up my life?”
Since Justin still only had on Kevin’s shirt, everything from the waist down was right there for the taking. AJ didn’t like things that came too easily; instead of focusing on all of the available flesh, he began to unbutton the shirt. “Joey and Ashley are coming over.” One button. Two.
“For what?” Justin frowned at him. “Leave Joey alone.”
Three. “Joey doesn’t want to be left alone.” Four. AJ stroked Justin’s nipples. “I won’t do anything to him in front of Ashley.”
Justin’s body automatically pressed closer, called by AJ’s touch. “I don’t want Ashley in my house.”
“Why not?” Finishing with the last buttons, AJ eased the fabric back, further exposing Justin’s body. “You like to be the biggest whore in the house?”
“Fuck you,” Justin snapped, and pulled his shirt back together again. “I give it to you because I have to. Ashley gives it to everybody who asks for it because he doesn’t know how to say no.”
“He’s a pretty little thing,” AJ murmured, running his hand up Justin’s thigh. “You wouldn’t like to give it to him?”
“Give it to-” Justin stared at AJ with a look of utter confusion.
Laughing, AJ squeezed Justin’s ass. “Are you too straight to understand that you can fuck guys, or too much of a bottom to want to?”
“I don’t want Ashley,” Justin said. “He’s as far from Kevin as you can get. Kevin’s powerful, Kevin’s forceful, Kevin’s commanding. It’s impossible to hurt or even affect Kevin in any way. Ashley seems like he’s vulnerable to everything and everyone all of the time. He’s too sensitive and too eager to please. Kevin doesn’t care about pleasing anyone. Ashley’s too worried about making everyone happy, he’s afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings. Kevin doesn’t care who gets hurt.”
“Kevin cares about
me,” AJ said, because it amused him to remind Justin of that fact.
“Yeah.” Justin stroked AJ’s chest. “I wish I understood why.”
Grinning, AJ pinched him. “Smartass.”
“Joey and Ashley?” Justin asked. He sighed, trailing his fingers down AJ’s arm. “I should probably put something else on.”
“Yeah.” AJ kissed his neck. “That would be a good idea.”
“Chris. Chris, come on, Chris.”
Cold - - wet - - Chris opened his eyes, feeling dizzy and inside-out. He’d - - what was - - “Uh?” he asked.
“Are you okay?” Lance looked incredibly relieved, like he’d really been scared. Lance didn’t get scared. “What happened?”
Lance. Lance? Chris-
“No, don’t sit up, just…stay down there,” Lance said. That seemed like good advice, so Chris stayed where he was. “Where he was” seemed to be draped across the front seats of his car, with Lance crouched by his head at the open passenger door holding a bottle of water, and traffic passing nearby. “What happened? Are you okay? Should I call for an ambulance?”
He didn’t - - oh, god - - Brian, Brian’s house, Brian’s phone call, Texas, he’d passed out. Chris pushed himself up quickly, ignored the spin of the world, and stared at Lance. “What are you doing here?”
“Brian called me,” Lance said. “He said that you came over to see him but you seemed too upset so he didn’t let you in. Then after you left, he felt bad, so when you called, he answered. He said that you sounded kind of out of it and he talked you into pulling over, and then you started hyperventilating and he heard you throw up and then all of a sudden everything went silent. He called me and we tried to figure out which route you might have taken so we could find you.”
“Is he here?” Chris only saw Lance’s car, behind his.
“He’s on his way.” Lance wiped at Chris’s face, reminding him that he was wet. “We split up to cover more ground. I called him when I found you.”
Had he wrinkled his freshly ironed clothes? Chris hitched his jeans up, pulling-
“Chris,” Lance said, looking at him like it was important to talk about this. “Do you have a problem?”
Wow. What a stupid question.
Lance shook his head. “You know what I mean. What happened? Are you okay? Have you passed out before?”
“No,” Chris said. “No, I’m okay, I just… Maybe it was something I ate.”
“Are you sure?” Lance asked, still looking worried about him in a totally unlike-Lance way that really reminded Chris how much he liked Lance. “I think that you should see a doctor.”
“I’m okay,” Chris said. “It’s just, I love Brian so much, and I can never prove it enough, and I keep missing my chance, and - - I felt dizzy and I felt nauseous and I kind of threw up and passed out, but I’m okay.”
“If you were okay, you wouldn’t throw up and pass out,” Lance said.
Chris tried to smile. “Logic doesn’t apply to me.” Oh! He turned his head, feeling his heart jerk in his chest. That was Brian’s car; Brian was here.
“I didn’t know it was this bad,” Lance said, apparently mostly to himself, still looking at Chris. “I should have seen it last night.”
The slam of a car door; Brian walked over to them, standing just behind Lance. “Are you okay? You scared me. Did you call for an ambulance?”
Chris wanted to apologize for the way he’d acted earlier; he wanted to throw himself at Brian’s feet and beg for forgiveness. “I’m fine, thank you.” He wiped at his chin. There wasn’t any partially digested chicken on his face, was there? “I didn’t mean to upset you. You didn’t have to come but it was very nice of you to check on me.” Brian had changed into different jeans and a black T-shirt, and he looked beautiful. “I don’t need medical attention, thank you. I’ll just go home.”
“Are you sure?” Brian asked.
Chris hesitated. “Where do you think I should go?”
Brian smiled at him, a smile Lance couldn’t see. “I think that we should either take you home or follow you home, and someone should stay with you.”
“Are you sure that this hasn’t happened before?” Lance asked Chris.
“I’m sure,” Chris said. He wanted to tell Brian of his love. Behind Lance, Brian mouthed something so subtly that if Chris hadn’t been an extremely attentive Brian expert, he wouldn’t have caught it.
“Chris, you could have become unconscious behind the wheel of a car,” Lance said. “This isn’t safe. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
Brian’s eyes told Chris no.
“No, I’m fine,” Chris insisted. “I’m fine, and I’m going to see Trevor.” Behind Lance, Brian gave him a subtle nod.
“I’m not letting you drive!” Lance protested. “Chris-”
“I’m driving,” Chris said firmly.
“Why don’t you go with him?” Brian asked Lance. “You can follow him in your car.”
Lance stared at Brian. “I’m not-”
“He’s already upset. If this is an emotional problem from stress, arguing with him isn’t going to help,” Brian said quietly. “If you stay on the phone during the drive, you can keep track of how he’s doing.”
“The Townhouse?” Lance demanded. “Chris, you need to go home.”
“I’m not letting anyone say I can’t handle this game,” Chris said.
“No one’s said anything about that,” Lance said. “Although now that you brought it up, maybe-”
“No! Don’t you dare.” Chris couldn’t let that happen. He glanced at Brian, needing to be careful about what he said next. “You remember what some people politely and understandably expressed about maybe leaving the game if we couldn’t fulfill our obligations.”
“This is different,” Lance said. “Chris, you were driving down the road when you threw up and passed out. This could be about stress. The game is getting to you, it’s getting to all of us, and maybe-”
“I can do what I need to do,” Chris insisted. “It’s not stress, it’s just something I ate. For breakfast,” he was quick to clarify. “My breakfast. The cereal,” he explained to Brian. He would never cast aspersions on Brian’s lovely chicken salad. “Maybe the milk was bad.”
“Bad milk doesn’t make you pass out,” Lance said. “You’re one of the healthiest people I know.”
“It’s been unseasonably warm,” Chris said. “Maybe the heat got to me.”
“Chris, it’s-”
“I’m going to the Townhouse now,” Chris announced. “Would you like to accompany me?”
“Maybe we should humor him,” Brian said quietly to Lance. “He’s probably fine. Just go along with him and keep an eye on him for a while. I have a few things to take care of, but I’ll try to get there later.”
“Okay.” Lance sighed. “Chris, are you sure that you’re okay?”
“I’m fine,” Chris said. “It’s very kind of you to be concerned,” he told Brian. “It’s very - - you’re so beautiful, and I love you so much, and if there’s-”
“Thank you, Chris,” Brian said gently. He shut up and loved silently. “Take care of yourself.” Brian turned to Lance, running his hand up Lance’s arm. “I’ll see you later.”
“Thanks for calling,” Lance said. “Bye.”
Brian smiled at Chris and left.
Getting up and leaning against his car, Chris watched Brian drive away.
“You can tell me the
truth,” Lance said. “I won’t pull you out of the game if you’re sure that you
still want to do it, but I can help you, if you’ll tell me what happened.”
“Nothing happened,” Chris said, still looking in the direction Brian
had gone.
“Rotten milk?” Lance asked.
“It tasted okay when I drank it,” Chris said. “Life’s funny that way. Sometimes you don’t know something’s bad for you until it’s too late.”
During a five-minute break for water, Trevor’s phone rang. Wiping the sweat of rehearsal from his forehead, he answered it. “Hello.”
“Trevor. Hi, this is Kevin.”
Whoa. Kevin. Damn. Trevor was sweating in a whole new way, now. He walked away from the other guys, taking the call to another room for a little privacy. “Hi.” He could still remember the force of passion behind Kevin’s kiss and the bold squeeze of Kevin’s hand right on his - - oh, damn. Getting hard at the memory, Trevor tried to think of other things, but the only other thought his mind could focus on was the thick, rigid length of Kevin’s hard-on when Trevor had-
“I was wondering if you wanted to get together today,” Kevin said. “No manual labor this time, I promise, maybe just some lunch.”
Why was this happening to him? “That sounds great,” Trevor said, because damn, it really did. It sounded fantasy-great. “But I’m… I’m back with Chris now.”
“I heard that,” Kevin said. His voice was very respectful; there wasn’t a trace of bitterness in it. “I’m happy for you. You must be feeling terrific.”
“Yeah.” He really did love Chris to an almost stupid extent, and having Chris back was fantasy-great, too. That didn’t one hundred percent keep this whole Kevin thing from totally sucking, though. “But it’s still kind of - - he and I are solid, but I don’t think-”
“That’s okay,” Kevin said. “I understand.” It sounded like he really did. Subtle amounts of regret shaded his tone, but he was still very polite about it.
“Thanks for the invitation, though,” Trevor said. “I just don’t think that it’s a good idea.”
“It’s all right,” Kevin said. “Congratulations on getting what you wanted. I hope he keeps you happy.”
Trevor didn’t want to blurt out, “I love him so much!” over the phone at Kevin, and telling Kevin exactly how happy Chris did make him might sound like bragging. There was something that he wanted to be clear about, even if the conversation totally humiliated him, so he sucked it up and said, “It’s been great, seeing you and helping you out, but-”
“But Chris is back,” Kevin said for him, “and you don’t want to confuse things.”
“Exactly,” Trevor said. He was relieved that Kevin understood. Thank god he was dealing with a mature adult. A lot of people wouldn’t be handling this with grace, but Kevin was cool in all situations. Trevor was awed by it.
Despite the totally amazing and unbelievable fact that they’d made out, their friendship so far had consisted mostly of Trevor doing things for Kevin. Errands, chores, etc. He didn’t expect Kevin to be devastated if they couldn’t spend time together anymore. Still, it had seemed like Kevin sort of liked him, and he didn’t want to hurt Kevin’s feelings or insult Kevin, so he needed to be clear about “we can’t see each other anymore” without saying the wrong thing.
“I’ll keep my distance,” Kevin said. “It’s been great getting to know you, and I wish that we could’ve spent more time together. But Chris is what you want right now, and I understand that. There was a time when Chris was all I wanted, too.”
He couldn’t believe that he got to hear things like that straight from Kevin.
“I hope he treats you the way you deserve to be treated,” Kevin said, like he really meant it. “Good-bye, Trevor.”
It was too soon for good-bye! Even though Trevor had known that it would come, he still wasn’t ready for it. “Good-bye,” he said, and Kevin was gone.
Trevor hung up.
He’d just kind of broken up with Kevin Richardson.
He was totally fucking insane.
And it was all Chris’s fault, which made sense, because if anyone could drive someone to the brink of sanity, it would be Chris.
Even though his brain wanted to stay in a missing Kevin funk, thinking of Chris made him smile.
Going back to the practice room, he took a drink of water. He couldn’t believe that he’d just cut off an avenue of possibilities with Kevin Richardson, of all people. But it had been the right thing to do. He loved Chris too much to fuck things up, and if he’d tried to keep Kevin in his life… There was way too much temptation there. It was like a married man having a Playboy bunny lounging around the house. It was a lot better to remove the temptation than pretend he could handle a situation he knew in his heart that he couldn’t.
No more distractions. Trevor’s love life was all Chris, all the time.
Besides, it wasn’t like Kevin was hard up. There had to be several million people waiting in the wings. In another day, Kevin wouldn’t give him another thought.
“Come on,” Dan said, clapping his hands, stepping into place. “Let’s get back to work.”
Jacob took his spot; Ashley sighed and did the same. Erik groaned. “Dan, we-”
“We’d be finished sooner if everyone started on time,” Dan said. “The later we start, the later it’s over.” He looked at Trevor.
Trevor immediately scurried to his section of the floor. Dan’s hard-core work ethic he recognized; Dan’s determination, he knew. That scary kind of anger putting that fire in Dan’s eyes, he did not. But he wasn’t willing to cross it.
Getting out of his car, Chris suddenly realized exactly where he was, and who he was with. He was at the Townhouse. With Lance. There were O-Town members in there. O-Town members like, for example, Jacob. And Erik.
That couldn’t be good.
Quickly, he turned to Lance. “If you don’t-”
“It’ll be fine.”
The way Lance was looking at the front door made Chris’s spine curl the wrong way. If Lance was determined to stick by him, then he wanted to offer to go home so they could be together somewhere else, but Brian wanted him here at the Townhouse. Brian wanted Lance there with him. So they had to go in.
Maybe no one would be home.
Chris rang the doorbell and crossed his fingers.
When the doorbell rang, Dan was the first one out of the room. “Thank god,” Erik said, dropping out of formation as Jacob left, too.
“Somebody has to talk to him,” Ashley said. “I know we have work to do, but he’s way too far with this.”
“Does he seem like someone we can talk sense into right now?” Erik asked. “I say we escape now while we can.”
“I don’t have the energy to escape.” Trevor dropped to the floor in a sweaty flop. “Go now, save yourselves. Send help back for me when you get to safety.”
Jacob came back into the room and pulled on his shirt. It seemed like an odd move to make, because if they were going to keep rehearsing then there was no way they needed more clothes, and if they were finished then Jacob would just take a shower in a minute, anyway. “Are we finished?” Ashley asked.
“Who’s here?” Erik asked.
“Chris,” Jacob said, wiping sweat from his face. He looked awfully red.
Chris? Trevor sat up, then put forth maximum effort and got to his feet. “Do I look as sweaty and nasty as I feel?”
Erik looked at him. “Yeah.”
Great. Trevor splashed water from his bottle over his face, rubbing off with a towel, hoping-
“This,” Chris said, “is where the magic happens.”
“It does look very…magical.”
Trevor froze. He knew that voice. Lowering the towel, he…shit. That was what he needed. To look sweaty and nasty in front of Lance Bass. He’d avoided making a bad impression last night, but there was nothing he could do about it now.
“Hi,” Ashley said. “Welcome to rehearsal.”
“Hi,” Lance said.
“Don’t worry,” Chris said. “Dan told us that you have a lot of work to do. Lance is going to just sit quietly and observe, out of the way. Dan has allowed me the most sacred task of manning the stereo, a job I take very, very seriously.”
“You don’t have anything better to do?” Jacob asked.
“It’s been a pretty eventful morning,” Chris said. “We could use the break.”
“If you’re intimidated by having real professionals-”
“Lance!” Chris pushed at him. “Don’t say that!”
“Jacob knows I’m joking,” Lance said, and gave Jacob a look Trevor couldn’t even read. “Don’t you, Jake?”
“Yeah,” Jacob said, and gave Lance a smile that wasn’t a smile at all. “You’re one big joke.”
Erik looked at Trevor like, do you know what this is about? Trevor shrugged at him, equally confused.
Chris pushed at Lance, shushing him and putting him near the usual visitors’ spot near the wall, then left him there, walking over to Trevor. “So, what are we working on today? Singing? Dancing?”
“Singing and dancing,” Trevor said.
“Ooohhh, singing and dancing,” Chris said. “At the same time? That’s just plain sexy.”
Trevor grinned. He always thought he knew how in love with Chris he was, but then Chris would do something amazing like show up, and he’d be more in love than ever. That’s what made him say dumb shit like, “Everything is sexy, when I do it.”
The best part was, when Chris laughed, even when Chris was laughing at him, Chris sounded so happy, Trevor couldn’t be offended. Especially when Chris’s eyes lit up like that. “That was classic,” Chris said. “That was classic! I should have signs printed up. T-shirts. I’ll give them to all of my friends. ‘Everything’s sexy when Trevor Lee does it.’”
“You’ll make millions,” Trevor said. “Everyone will want one.”
“Everyone will want you,” Chris said.
Trevor snorted. “What are you talking about? They already do.”
“Okay.” Dan strode back into the room, already focused. “Let’s take it from the top.”
“Bye,” Chris said, and kissed Trevor quickly, right in front of everybody. “I’ll be rooting for you.” Chris rushed over to the stereo. Trevor assumed the position. As the music started, he crossed his fingers.
It was bad enough that they looked like amateurs in front of Chris and Brian on a pretty much daily basis. They didn’t need to add one more name to the list.
“You look sleepy.” Brian brushed Nick’s hair back from his forehead.
“I was up fucking,” Nick said. “And then I had to get up and make breakfast.”
Brian laughed. “Poor Joey.”
“Eating crappy food won’t kill him.” Nick’s gaze flickered over Brian speculatively. “You’re in a good mood. What’d you do?”
Brian’s smile was wide and bright. “I had a good morning.”
Nick knew that sparkle. “Do I need to call an ambulance for anybody?”
“Of course not.” Brian stroked Nick’s hair. “They’re all fine. Chris is safe at the Townhouse, and Lance is there to watch him.”
“Lance is at the Townhouse?” Nick asked. “With Jacob and Erik?”
“I’d assume they’re at home,” Brian said.
“And only Chris is there to rein him in?”
“Lance will be fine.” Brian smiled as if suddenly remembering something. “I made biscuits this morning. And lemon squares, last night. Do you want some?”
Lance was having the time of his life.
They sucked. They were absolutely awful. Their moves weren’t synchronized, their spacing was off, they were completely unable to harmonize, and they couldn’t even stay on pitch. They were already tired and frustrated, and they’d only been at it for a few hours.
And this was sophomore album behavior? Unbelievable.
This was what they considered choreography? Lance could have come up with those moves by himself at age eight.
It was all so bad he wanted to laugh.
He couldn’t even look at Erik without wondering how the hell it was even possible for Howie to touch the guy. How did Howie maintain an erection around someone like that? How could Howie even stomach kissing him?
There was much more to making love with Howie than the mere mechanics of sex. There was kissing, making out, all of that intimate touching, all of that erotic foreplay… It was, at times, a sensual experience that lasted for hours, hours spent in a haze of desire and ecstasy.
And Howie did that with Erik?
Unless it was different between them, than it had been between Howie and Lance.
Lance definitely couldn’t imagine Howie ever giving himself to Erik the way Howie had with him. All of that sweet, seductive, generous passion. Howie had-
The doorbell rang.
Dan was out of the room so fast Ashley was still singing.
If that could really be called “singing.”
“I hope that’s Justin,” Ashley said, as Jacob left.
“It’s probably Brian,” Trevor said.
“Oh, god, somebody, make it stop,” Erik said, dropping to the floor. “Drill Sergeant Dan must be removed from power.”
“Are we getting worse?” Ashley asked Trevor.
The sudden press of Chris’s hand on Lance’s thigh probably meant, “Don’t you dare answer that.”
“Jacob is,” Erik said. “He’s totally fucking up shit he’s had on point for months.”
“When we’re working so hard that Jacob’s fucking up, we’re working too hard,” Trevor said.
The pressure on Lance’s thigh increased.
“-done,” Jacob said, walking back into the room.
“We’re not done,” Dan said. He hadn’t snapped at them yet; he simply always sounded very, very firm.
“There are five of us here,” Jacob said. “You don’t make decisions for all of us.”
“Who was at the door?” Trevor asked.
“Joey?” Ashley asked, with a sudden, surprised smile.
“Hey, pretty.” Joey walked right over to him and gave him a quick kiss. “You look like you’ve been working hard.”
While Joey ran his thumb across Ashley’s cheek, wiping away sweat, Ashley turned red and smiled like he was in love but nervous about it. “We’ve just been going through some of the routines.”
“For ten fucking hours,” Erik said.
“If we all had it down, we could stop,” Dan said. “We don’t stop until we know it.”
“I stop now,” Erik said, getting up. “I’ll probably be back here tomorrow morning, but until then, I’m done. Keep going if you want to, I don’t care, I’m done.”
Lance watched him leave. Lazy and selfish. Great combination. JC had to be thrilled.
“How much work can we get done with all of these interruptions?” Jacob demanded. “Are rehearsals open to the public now?”
“Brian’s here to see you every day,” Trevor said.
“If this is bad timing, I can come back later,” Joey said to Ashley.
“It’s okay,” Ashley said. “I think we’re done for today.”
“Great.” Joey’s fingers stroked Ashley’s hip, right above the waistband of his underwear, which showed just above his shorts. “Can you come out with me for a while?”
“Yeah.” Ashley gazed at Joey like he was already anticipating the first thrust. “Let me run upstairs and get ready.”
“Okay.” Joey kissed Ashley, and Ashley left quickly, like he didn’t want to keep Joey’s dick waiting.
Joey turned and looked across the room at Lance.
Lance smiled wryly. “How’s Nick?”
“Nick’s just fine,” Joey said, walking over to him and Chris. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Believe me, I don’t want to be here.” Lance glanced behind Joey at their audience, and Joey crouched down in front of him. Dan was gone; that left Trevor and Jacob. Trevor caught Lance looking and said to Chris, “I’ll go get cleaned up and come back down.”
“Okay,” Chris said. “Make sure you scrub around any areas you might want me to lick later.”
With a startled laugh, Trevor left.
Jacob crossed his arms over his chest and very pointedly did not leave.
“Fuck him,” Lance said, and lowered his voice, turning his attention to Joey. “There was a little problem earlier and I want to hang out with Chris for a while.”
“What happened?” Joey asked, using their perfected technique of speaking at a volume only one another could hear.
“Nothing,” Chris said.
Lance gave Joey a look and Joey leaned in even closer. “He vomited and fainted. He was on the road. If he hadn’t pulled over-”
“Chris,” Joey said, stunned. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” Chris whispered, drawing his legs up. “I’m fine, it’s fine, nothing happened. It’s okay, I’m okay.”
“He says it was something he ate,” Lance said. “I think it’s stress, I think it’s the game.”
“What’d you eat?” Joey asked.
“I had cereal,” Chris said. “Bad milk.” He tapped his fingers.
“If this is too much for you-”
“Don’t start,” Chris said. “I can’t stop now so don’t even bother.”
“The person he’s around most is Trevor, but I can’t ask Trevor to keep an eye on him,” Lance said.
“Why not?” Joey asked. “It might not hurt.”
Lance wasn’t comfortable with the idea. “What are you doing here? The obvious, or is there more to it?”
“I’m picking up Ashley and going to visit AJ and Justin at Justin’s house,” Joey said.
Lance winced.
“Wow,” Chris said. “That sucks.”
“The last damned thing I needed was to see Dan at the door,” Joey said. “What’s going on around here?”
“Dan’s lost it,” Chris said. “But in one of the most productive ways I’ve ever seen.” He tapped his foot, gaze shifting. “Jacob’s making me nervous. He’s just standing there, glaring, like a fuzzy time bomb.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Lance said. “You two go check on Minnie and Daisy.”
Chris let Joey pull him to his feet. “Which one’s which?”
“I don’t know,” Lance said, rising. “Which one puts out more?”
“Definitely Minnie,” Joey said.
“You check out cartoon mice?” Chris asked as he and Joey headed for the door.
“Everybody checks out cartoon mice,” Joey said.
Lance faced Jacob.
Jacob unfolded his arms, stepping forward.
“You don’t want to start anything with me,” Lance said. “I hold every card there is.”
“I’ll start anything I want,” Jacob said. “I’ll start it, and I’ll stop it. Don’t you ever fucking come near my house again. I don’t know what the hell you’re doing here or what excuse you gave Chris for showing up here, but it doesn’t even matter. Get. Out.”
Slowly, Lance smirked. Hilarious. “You’re terrified that I’ll tell your little friends.”
“I am not afraid of you,” Jacob snapped, pointing angrily. “I don’t-”
“What would happen if I told them?” Lance asked, amused and letting it show. “They’d know you’re gay? They’d find out you’ve been fucking someone you hate? Oh, wow, Jake, what if they found out?”
“Shut up,” Jacob insisted vehemently. “Shut up. No one would believe you, no one would ever-”
“They’d know that you’re a liar,” Lance said, fascinated by Jacob’s fear. “They’d know that you’re a hypocrite.”
“You sick-”
“They wouldn’t trust you anymore, Jake. They wouldn’t respect you anymore.” He loved the fury and the terror on Jacob’s face. “They wouldn’t love you anymore.”
“They-”
“And what about Brian?” Lance asked. “Once they know, Brian’s going to find out. What’s he going to think of you then?”
“No one would ever believe you,” Jacob said. “They’ll never listen to you. They know me, they know I’d never-”
“But you did, Jake. You did.” Lance couldn’t stop smiling. “Over, and over, and over again.”
“You sick bastard!”
Trevor pounded on the bathroom door. “Ashley!”
“He has to make himself beautiful for his big daddy,” Erik said.
“Big daddy?” Trevor repeated.
“I can’t look at them together without seeing some serious ‘spank me, daddy, spank me!’ going on there,” Erik said. “Maybe it’s just me.”
“Maybe you’re just sick,” Trevor said. “Ashley!”
“I’m almost done!” Ashley called from the shower.
“I’m using Jacob’s bathroom,” Erik decided.
“We’re not allowed to - - dibs!” Trevor protested, running after him. Almost falling down the stairs, they chased each other, pushing and wrestling and yanking. Then they literally ran into Joey and Chris. Unable to skid to a halt in time, Trevor fell onto Chris and landed on his ass, bringing Erik down with him.
“Ow,” Erik said.
“Sorry,” Chris said.
“Didn’t mean to be walking through your house like a normal person. That was
pretty thoughtless of me.”
“Have you seen Jacob?” Erik asked, crawling off of Trevor and to his
feet.
“He’s still in the practice room,” Joey said.
“Victory is mine,” Erik declared, hurrying off.
Defeated, Trevor got up, regretting the fact that he couldn’t come across better to Chris’s friends. Erik didn’t even need to shower immediately; Trevor was the one whose not-really-boyfriend was right there, close enough to smell him.
There really wasn’t a good reason for Trevor not to tell Jacob that Erik was about to use his bathroom.
“Where are you going?” Chris asked.
“I have to tell Jacob something,” Trevor said, walking back towards the practice room.
“That might not be a good idea,” Chris said, hurrying up behind him. “Jacob’s not in a very good mood. You don’t want to rile the beast.”
That beast was always riled. Still, Chris had a point. Trevor decided to leave Jacob alone for the moment. He’d find out about Erik’s transgression once he saw his bathroom, anyway. Hey… “Where’s Lance? Did he leave?”
“He’s around here somewhere,” Chris said. “He’ll turn up sooner or later.”
“I’m done!” Ashley yelled from upstairs.
“Next!” Trevor shouted. “Be right back,” he told Chris, and ran.
“Are you going to fuck him now or later?” Chris asked Joey.
“Later,” Joey said. “I can do that any time I want. I want to see,” Joey glanced around for eavesdroppers and omitted a word from his sentence, “first.”
Chris nodded, understanding. “I’d better go check on Lance.”
“He’s fine,” Joey said.
“Maybe.” Chris wasn’t satisfied. He wanted-
A sudden slam of a door, and Jacob stormed past them, very fast and very angry. Whoa. Chris stared after Jacob’s back.
“What was that?” Joey asked.
“I don’t think that Jacob likes Lance very much,” Chris said.
“Hey, no, whoa, hey, I, Jacob! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Erik protested. “I’m sorry!” The door to the guest house slammed. “Hey! Wait!” Shit! “Can I get a towel? Can I - - I’m naked here!”
As Lance exited the practice room, Joey asked, “What’d you do to Jacob?”
“Nothing,” Lance said. “I told him to grow up.”
“Jacob doesn’t always take criticism well,” Chris explained to Joey.
“Jacob doesn’t take anything well,” Lance said.
“He does from people he likes,” Chris said.
“Why does he like you?” Lance asked.
Chris shrugged, shifting his weight and tapping his fingers. “He likes me because he trusts me and respects me. I’m direct with him and I don’t want anything from Trevor. We talk about Brian.”
“I got enough of Jacob at dinner last night,” Joey said. “I’d be happy if I never saw him again.” They all stopped talking as they heard footsteps.
“Hey. Joey.” Ashley jogged down the stairs, all pink cheeks and sparkly eyes, his T-shirt clinging softly to his upper body.
“Pretty,” Joey said with an approving grin, reeling him in. “You look good enough to eat.”
Laughing, Ashley submitted to Joey’s kisses, then pulled back, blushing. “I’m ready to go.”
“You always are,” Lance said. Ashley gave a little start, looking at him in shock.
“Coming through, excuse me, nothing to see here.” Erik rushed past, wrapped in a small pool towel.
Lance raised his eyebrows as Erik’s half-naked body vanished upstairs. “Nice,” he said dryly.
“He doesn’t normally run around like that,” Ashley said, trying to recover and act civil despite Lance’s earlier comment.
“I do,” Chris said. “Without the towel, though, that’s too cumbersome.”
“That’s our cue to go,” Joey said.
“Have fun,” Lance said. He smiled. “Tell Nick we said hi.” Ashley turned red, right on cue.
“I’ll call you later,” Joey said, and left, taking Ashley with him.
Chris tromped on upstairs to Trevor’s room. Once Lance was inside, Chris closed the door and pulled out his phone.
“Who are you calling?” Lance asked.
“Kevin.” Chris dialed and waited. “Make yourself useful and let me know if someone’s coming.”
“Hello.”
“Hi, this is Chris,
reporting from Trevor’s room. Lance is with me.”
“Are you going to be able to tell me everything you need to tell me
with him there?”
“I think so,” Chris said. “There was an incident earlier this morning.”
“Brian told me. Are
you all right?”
“I’m fine. It’s nice of you to feign concern.”
Kevin’s chuckle was unexpectedly warm. “We’ll talk about that later. What happened after Brian left?”
“We came here. We sat in on today’s rehearsal. Dan’s pushing them, probably because he needs to exercise control over something since he’s powerless against AJ and everyone else. Dan’s an action guy, he needs something to do.”
Lance was watching with a look of curiosity.
Chris hurried on. “Rehearsal was bad. Jacob started out okay, but he got worse and worse. I don’t think he responds well to Lance. After a while, they all got frustrated, and Jacob couldn’t keep it together, and Erik stopped trying. Then Joey showed up to pick up Ashley, and Erik quit, and they stopped for the day. Then Lance harassed Jacob and Joey left with Ashley.”
“Is there anything else that I need to know about?”
“I don’t think so. I’ll probably be here all day, unless something happens.”
“Good. Go ahead and spend the night, but I want you out of there in the morning.”
“You want me to leave Trevor here?” Chris asked, to be clear.
“Yes. I’ll let you know when you can go back.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“Take care of yourself. Bye.” Kevin hung up.
Chris hung up and sat on the edge of the bed.
Lance sat beside
him. “You tell him everything that happens?”
“He likes to be informed. It all has to do with the game.”
Lance looked
skeptical. “What did he say about you passing out?”
“He said we’ll talk about it later. Brian already told him what
happened.” Brian had probably given both versions of events, the one Chris
remembered going through and the one Lance knew. “Thanks for coming to help
me. Earlier.”
“If it happens again, I want you to see a doctor. It might be just a one-time thing, but it could be serious.”
“I hope it doesn’t happen again. It wasn’t fun.”
“It could be stress-related,” Lance said. “This hasn’t been easy on you.”
“It hasn’t been easy on any of us.”
A tap at the door; it opened slowly. “Hi. Can I come in here and get dressed?” Trevor asked.
“Sure,” Chris said. “It’s just us, we don’t mind.”
“We’ll go wait downstairs,” Lance said, rising.
“Speak for yourself,” Chris said with a grin, leaning back. “I like the view from here.”
“Okay,” Lance said. “I’ll go downstairs.”
“Wait in the hallway,” Chris said. “I’ll join you in thirty seconds.”
Lance passed Trevor with a quick smile and left the room, closing the door.
“Lance wants to hang out today,” Chris said. “Is that cool?”
“That’s great,” Trevor said. “I’d never say no to spending time with Lance Bass.”
Chris rolled around the bed idly, watching him dress. “I like you.”
“Yeah?” Trevor flashed him a grin. “I like you, too.”
“You make me feel good.”
Smoothing his shirt down, Trevor knelt on the bed, crawling over Chris. “I like making you feel good.”
Laughing, Chris curled his fingers into Trevor’s front pockets. “Maybe I could make you feel good sometime, too.”
“You make me feel good all of the time,” Trevor said, and kissed him. “You make me feel good every day.”
Trevor’s door was closed. So were Dan and Erik’s. Ashley’s door was open. Lance heard a few noises from downstairs; he wondered who was down there. Maybe he’d just wander on down.
Before Lance got anywhere, Erik’s door opened and Erik emerged. He wore a short-sleeved open shirt over a T-shirt, and as he smoothed what there was of his hair with both hands, a bracelet caught Lance’s attention. A sapphire bracelet that said “Howie” so strongly Lance’s heart stopped for a second at the unexpected reference.
Lance knew Howie. Knew Howie’s tastes, knew the kinds of gifts that Howie gave male lovers. That was a gift from Howie. On that worthless fuck’s wrist. Like the watch on his other wrist wasn’t bad enough? Was Howie the asshole’s damned jewelry supplier now?
Smiling through the pain, Lance asked as casually as possible, “Going somewhere?”
“To see a friend,” Erik said. He adjusted his shirts. “I’d better get going. See you later.”
“Bye.” Lance watched Erik run down the stairs. Was Erik going to see Howie? JC? It had to be a date; he wouldn’t dress like that for just a friend. It could be a woman, but he wouldn’t have used casually evasive language if it were.
Silence. Lance looked around carefully, then into Erik’s room. The list of things that he could do to it was long, running the gamut from pointless to recklessly criminal. He was tempted to try a few of them immediately, but Trevor might come into the hallway at any second, and he couldn’t predict Dan’s movements or even Jacob’s.
He’d wait. Another opportunity would arise.
Although…
Lance was in and out in five seconds.
“Where are we going?” Ashley asked.
“To my place for lunch,” Joey said. “I just have to stop by Justin’s first.”
“Justin’s?” Ashley asked. “How is he?”
“He should be great,” Joey said. “He’s been so busy getting in good quality time with AJ, I haven’t had much of a chance to see him. That’s why I’m stopping in today.”
Ashley was watching him. “AJ’s going to be there?”
“I can guarantee it.” AJ. The very thought of AJ created an awareness, a tension, a hot thrill of anticipation in Joey’s body. He couldn’t even think about AJ without getting hard. Those eyes. That voice. That body. The way AJ moved. The way AJ talked to him and looked at him and-
“Joey…”
Damn it. “You’re not worried about him saying something to you, are you?” Joey asked. “Pretty, AJ’s back with Justin now. That’s all he’s thinking about. Besides, he wouldn’t say anything in front of me.”
“You really think he’s a whole different person when he’s with Justin?” Ashley sounded curious; he didn’t quite buy it but he wanted to know if Joey did.
“He is.” Joey reminded himself that if it weren’t for the game, AJ wouldn’t be anywhere near Justin. It was all for the game. It wasn’t real. AJ didn’t give a shit about Justin. Justin didn’t give a shit about AJ. No one was as right for AJ as Joey was. Nobody.
Ashley’s voice was a strained kind of friendly. “How was dinner last night?” Ashley was prepared to go to great pains to understand what had happened, to excuse all of Joey’s bad behavior. He had trouble holding things against people, and he didn’t want to hold anything against Joey.
“Not bad.” Joey didn’t want to get into this; he wanted to go to Justin’s house and talk to AJ alone. “I wouldn’t say that I like Jacob, exactly, but Brian seems to be all about him.”
“I don’t understand. If you-”
“Pretty, I really don’t need this right now.” He didn’t have the patience to go through the entire conversation; he jumped right to the end. “I know you got your feelings hurt last night, and I’m sorry about that, but you know how things are. I thought that you could handle it.”
Stunned, Ashley tried, “I didn’t-”
“This is already hard enough on me,” Joey said. “I don’t need you to make it any harder. I have enough going on. The last thing I need is you giving me shit when I decide to take my own boyfriend to dinner.”
Joey felt Ashley’s betrayed stare against the side of his face. Clenching his jaw, he kept driving, ignoring it.
Eventually, Ashley looked away from Joey. His voice was small and brave. “I’m sorry, Joey.”
Damn it.
“I know how hard this is for you. I didn’t mean to make it worse for you.”
Damn it, damn it, did he have to be so goddamned sincere?! Ashley was the nicest, sweetest, most innocent guy Joey had ever met. He knew three-year-old girls more hardened than Ashley.
“It’s just that I love you so much.”
Oh, god. Not this, please, hell, not this.
“It’s hard, sometimes. But I can handle it.” Ashley’s held a quiet note of private courage. “And I’m sorry about… I guess… It’s not up to me to decide who you eat dinner with.”
At least Ashley hadn’t cried. “It’s okay, pretty.” Joey reached over, squeezing Ashley’s knee. “I love you, too.” He looked over, flashing Ashley a smile that Ashley loved him enough to return. Good whore.
matthew@matthewtime.com
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