"Sucker"

Sucker

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Continued from part fifty-eight

When Dan finally came downstairs, Ashley approached him in the kitchen. Dan had been so distant, Ashley wasn’t sure how to broach conversation.

Leaning against the counter, Ashley noticed the bracelet on Dan’s wrist. He was curious about it, and a little concerned. He wondered what else had happened between Dan and Justin. “Joey said you gave that to Justin,” he said, to give Dan an opening to explain.

“I did,” Dan said, putting the milk back in the fridge without looking at Ashley.

“I didn’t know you-”

“There’s a lot you don’t know,” Dan said, and left the kitchen without another word.

Ashley stared after him, stunned.

Trevor heard quiet voices passing nearby, heading toward the front door. A few minutes later, Chris came into the room, sitting beside him. “You’re still damp,” Chris said.

Trevor ran his fingers through Chris’s wet hair. “Is Lance okay?”

“Lance is a lot stronger than he thinks he is. He’s so worried about being weak that he - - I shouldn’t tell you this,” Chris said. “Forget I said anything.”

“Okay.”

Chris’s arm curved around Trevor’s waist. “I wonder how strong you are.”

“I don’t know,” Trevor said. “I guess someday I’ll find out.”

“Yeah.” Chris tucked his fingers inside Trevor’s waistband. “I guess you will.”

While Jacob was in the bathroom, Brian said, “That was perfect. The best way to get Jacob to let you in is to show interest in him as a musician. Giving him respect as an artist, more than him as a part of O-Town, is guaranteed to get you inside.”

“God, that’s such bullshit,” Nick said.

“What’s up next?” Joey asked.

“It’s time to bring up Angel,” Nick said. “We can’t end tonight without it, and he hasn’t come up yet, so we’d better do it now.”

“I love how well the two of you work together,” Brian said to Nick and Joey. “You seem so close, you look great together… And that kiss! I had no idea.”

“We’re hot,” Nick said with a smug smile, kissing Joey’s cheek, nuzzling. “We’re on fire.”

“Get off of me,” Joey said, laughing. “We don’t work well together.”

“We’re great together,” Nick said, kissing him. “Come on, sweetness, tell Brian how much you love me.”

“Why don’t you,” Joey’s words came out between kisses, “tell him how much you love me?”

“I love Joey so much,” Nick said, turning away from Joey’s mouth and grinning at Brian. “He’s the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. And he has a great dick.”

Laughing, Joey told Nick to shut up.

“Such a great dick,” Nick said. “You should see it. It’s this long and-”

“Maybe we could talk about this later,” Brian said, as Jacob returned.

Joey sat back. He didn’t know how Brian put up with Jacob. He’d wanted to haul off and punch the son-of-a-bitch in the mouth back at the Townhouse.

“We can talk about it now,” Nick said.

“I don’t think that Jacob wants to hear about my dick,” Joey said.

“He’s probably heard all about it from Angel,” Nick said.

“Nick,” Brian said, pretending to be scandalized.

“Angel loves Joey’s dick,” Nick said. “Everybody does. They’re all so jealous that I get it whenever I want it.”

“Seems like Ashley gets it whenever he wants it, too,” Jacob said. The look he shot Joey made Joey’s hands curl into fists.

“Are you kidding?” Nick asked. “Not even close to it.”

Jacob narrowed his eyes, and his voice came out like he was testing Nick. Almost like a challenge. “It doesn’t bother you that Joey and Ashley are all over each other?”

“Joey’s all over everybody,” Nick said. “Hell, I’m all over everybody. Sometimes Joey fucks people on the side, but I do the same thing. I think Angel’s too young and not experienced enough to be interesting, but Joey thinks he’s pretty.”

“He’s very pretty,” Joey said.

“Joey and I know what we have together,” Nick said. “If I got threatened by every cute ass that walked by, we’d never last. Sex is sex. You can’t let your heart get confused about what your dick does.”

Jacob sat forward, like he’d been caught by something that Nick had said. “Do you think that you can fuck someone you don’t care about and still keep your heart sacred for the one you love?”

“Absolutely,” Nick said. “We do it all of the time.”

“I think… Ashley seems a little more consistent than some of your other partners,” Brian said to Joey. “With Dan’s influence over Justin, and then Howie and JC separating, it just makes some of us…wonder…”

“You think Angel’s trying to break us up?” Nick asked. “Hell, if I thought that, he’d be out of Joey’s bed so fast it’d make his pretty little head spin. Joey can fuck anybody he wants as long as it’s never a threat to us. If Angel were a problem, I’d make him a non-problem, quick.”

“Really,” Jacob said, studying Nick.

“Hell, yes,” Nick said. “Nobody comes between me and Joey.”

“Don’t worry about Ashley,” Joey told Brian. “He understands what’s going on.”

“I’m sure he does,” Jacob said, his words slow, his eyes suspicious.

Joey smiled. Asshole. “I’ve been clear with Ashley from day one. I would never have had sex with him if I thought that he couldn’t handle it. He hasn’t said anything to me about wanting a relationship and replacing Nick. If he did, I’d have to let him down easy. I respect Nick too much to let someone else think that he can come between us. No one could ever replace Nick. And I wouldn’t lead Ashley on.”

Nick picked it up from there. “Joey and I learned early on how to screw around and not have people come between us. We’re guys, we like to fuck, we like variety, but we’re together and we love each other.”

“That comes first,” Joey said. “It’s not that we don’t value our relationship. We’ve just created a relationship that works for us.”

“Everybody we fool around with knows that,” Nick said.

“Ashley’s understood it from the beginning,” Joey added.

“I didn’t realize that you were always that clear with everyone,” Brian said.

“We figured out that we have to be,” Nick said.

“Once in a while, there’s been somebody who’s gotten a little too close,” Joey said. “If I ever have a problem with somebody, I tell Nick, and that person’s long gone. Nick does the same thing with me. We won’t let anyone come between us.”

“Angel understands the way it works,” Nick said. “Joey wouldn’t lead him on, there’s no reason to.”

“I think it’s great, how dedicated you are to each other,” Brian said.

“Yeah, well, he’s messy and he can’t cook, but we get along okay,” Joey said.

Nick looked at him with mock disbelief. “You’re as messy as I am.”

“But I can cook,” Joey pointed out.

Nick snorted. “You fuck a lot better than you cook.”

Joey reached for his wine glass. “You cook a lot better than you fuck.”

Nick stared at him in incomprehension, then burst into laughter.

It had used to be easier than this.

There had been clear lines between love and sex. Sex was fun. Recreation. Excitement. Habit. Performance. Love was something that flickered at the edges of his relationships in small doses but never made a grand entrance.

Until Nick.

When everything changed, including what love was, what sex was. Who JC was.

Now, sex was an expression of love. Sex was something intimate and sacred to be shared only with someone who would fully appreciate its gift. Sex bound and united the lovers for eternity. It was a spiritual dance that was much more about union than flesh.

When JC gave himself to Nick, he gave all of himself. And now, when he gave himself to Howie, even to Erik, his heart was tempted to follow where his body went. And as his body gave the right signals, his heart grew confused; was it time for that spiritual union? The thrusting of hips went along with a throbbing of heart and a pulsing of soul, didn’t it?

It hadn’t always been like this. JC had used to be able to have sex that was about sex and only sex, about getting off and exploring his needs and flirting and teasing and fucking. His partners had been men who could give him what he needed sexually without weighing him down with a whole lot of other demands. Sometimes they’d been boyfriends, but when they hadn’t been, it wasn’t a problem.

He had to recapture that perspective. He had to separate what his heart was drawn to and what his body responded to.

He had to sever the sex-love tie. He had to break that connection, so that when Erik fucked him, he could maintain the proper emotional distance.

He had to screw somebody he didn’t care about.

Strolling through the club, he eyed potential partners. Intellectually, he understood that they were attractive. They had the right build, the right style, the right glances that, before Nick, would have caught his eye. Now, none of it meant anything.

He pushed himself to get interested. He reminded himself of how hot random encounters could be. He recalled steamy memories of previous one night stands.

But his body balked at the idea of letting a stranger in. He didn’t want a stranger’s lascivious stares. He didn’t want foreign hands pawing at his body. He didn’t want an unknown dick pumping away at him. He wanted Nick. He didn’t just want to be desired; he wanted to be respected and adored and cared for. Nick had pampered him. Treated him like a sexual treasure. Whispered love and made sure that he felt thoroughly appreciated.

These guys didn’t give a fuck about him. They wanted ass. There was more to him than that. Nick had seen that. Why couldn’t these-

Nick hadn’t seen that.

Nick hadn’t seen anything like that in him. Nick had seen him, and seen a target. A victim.

Nick didn’t see him as worthy of adoration and pampering. Nick didn’t see him as worthy of shit.

With that thought, JC wanted to leave the club. He wanted to go home. He couldn’t do this tonight.

But he had to. He had to survive this game, and to make it through to the end without making dangerous missteps, he had to get over his unwarranted weakness for Erik. He had to disconnect love and sex. He had to learn how to fuck without becoming emotionally invested.

That might not prove anything to Nick. It might not even prove anything to Howie; JC couldn’t be sure. But it would prove something to himself.

He wasn’t Nick’s pampered love. He wasn’t a worthless pawn, either.

He was the predator, now. He was playing the games. He was in control.

Raising his chin, JC scanned the club for a likely target.

AJ roamed Justin’s house. Fixed something to eat. Made a few calls. Checked in on Justin periodically. At first, every time he looked, Justin was dancing, slow and sexy. Later, though, he found Justin hugging himself, whispering to himself, and decided that it was time to break up the party.

Justin’s eyes were closed. Silently, AJ walked closer, until he could hear what Justin was saying. “Thank you, Kevin. I love you, Kevin. I love you, Kevin. Thank you, Kevin. I love you, Kevin. I love you, Kevin. Thank you, Kevin…”

AJ was sure that Justin didn’t know how close he was, but when he put his hand on Justin’s crossed forearms, Justin’s eyes opened only gradually, like AJ’s touch was expected. “You’re talking to yourself again,” AJ said.

“He let me come,” Justin said.

AJ smirked. “That was nice of him.”

“I think that he liked what I cooked for him.” Justin glanced at the clock. “We don’t have to have sex tonight, do we?”

AJ raised his eyebrows. “Trying to keep yourself pure for Kevin?”

“I just want to keep the memory a little longer,” Justin said.

AJ considered his options, then shrugged. “You can have the night off.”

“Thanks.” Justin’s eyes grew distant. A small smile appeared on his face. “He said that I look kind of cute today.”

“Cute,” AJ repeated. “Kind of cute. Today. You temporarily appear to be semi-attractive.”

“Don’t kill my buzz,” Justin said. “He thinks that I look more grown-up, too.”

“Oh, you’re undergoing the natural aging process?” AJ asked. “Good for you.”

Justin glared at him, shrugging off his hand. “What’s wrong with you?”

AJ grinned. “Just messing with you.” He patted Justin’s chest. “You go ahead and enjoy yourself. It’s good to see you happy about something.”

“You don’t care if I’m happy,” Justin said.

“No, but it’s a nice change of pace,” AJ said.

Justin tried to hang on to an irritated expression, but gave in and laughed. “Thanks.”

After Nick paid, the four of them got up from the table. “Thanks for dinner,” Brian said.

“Yeah, thanks,” Jacob said, and he sounded like he meant it. Joey almost laughed.

“It was good to see you,” Nick said to Jacob.

“Yeah,” Jacob said. “You, too.”

How precious. Jacob liked Nick. If he was that easily suckered in, he deserved what he got.

As everyone walked out of the room, Joey found Brian at his side. “It was good to see you,” Brian said. They strolled more slowly, letting Nick and Jacob move on ahead. “How do you think we did?” Brian asked softly.

Joey hadn’t really been expecting Brian to ask for his opinion. He also hadn’t expected Brian’s hand on his back, palm steady, fingers curling in and scratching out in slow rhythm. “I think we covered all of our bases,” he said.

“He seems to like Nick,” Brian said.

“If they’d spent one more minute talking about music, I would have scalped him with my steak knife,” Joey said.

Brian chuckled. “You don’t like his hair, either?”

“Does anyone?”

Brian laughed, his hand rubbing up and down slightly. “Jacob does, so I have to.”

“I feel sorry for you,” Joey said. “I can’t believe Lance had to fuck him.”

Brian shuddered. “I’m amazed that he went through with it. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Subtle rubbing again. “You really are great with Nick. I meant that.”

“He’s okay,” Joey said. “I’m getting used to him.”

Brian laughed. “He’s not AJ, but he’s not that bad, is he?” Brian looked up at Joey, and the sparkling warmth in Brian’s eyes made Joey smile back.

“No,” Joey said. “He’s not that bad.”

A bright smile, and then the hand on Joey’s back slipped away as they met up with Nick and Jacob. Joey’s gaze lingered on Brian. Wondering.

He pushed JC back against the wall and JC went with it, tugging him closer. His kiss was urgent; his touch was experienced. JC moaned softly at the press of his hand, running quick fingers under his shirt.

During dinner, Erik had invented his very own drinking game. Whenever he felt himself getting too far into the act and started to get too deeply into the role of JC, whenever he fell too far under Howie’s spell or responded to Howie’s love with a little too much honest emotion, he took a drink.

Towards the end of the meal, he had wine with every sentence. The wealth of love and intensity of lust in Howie’s eyes was like nothing Erik had ever seen before. Being face-to-face across the table for that long, unable to look away from Howie’s love, Erik couldn’t help but notice how the perfect smoothness of Howie’s skin begged to be touched. The inviting softness of Howie’s lips had all of his dick’s attention.

Then, “JC,” Howie whispered, taking his hand. “I don’t want to pressure you into anything, but I’d hoped… It would mean so much to me if we could share dessert tonight the way we did…that night.”

Erik had no idea what that meant, but he couldn’t refuse Howie anything. Especially when the look Howie was giving him made his blood heat up. “Anything you want,” he promised. Anything that Howie desired. Anything that made Howie look at him - - at JC - - like that.

A sweet, moved smile said that Howie treasured this moment. Then, still holding Erik’s hand, he rose.

Erik got up, too, and followed Howie.

To the bedroom.

Candles. Black satin sheets. Rose petals everywhere - - red, white, pink. Champagne chilling on ice. And a tray by the bed. A tray bearing two fluted glasses, a bowl of fresh strawberries, and three small, metal, gracefully formed cups with handles and lips molded for pouring.

“Do you remember how it was?” Howie’s voice was soft with the memory; his hand stroked Erik’s chest.

No, but he wanted to. God, he wanted to. This was sexual fantasy material. He wanted to know what was in those cups.

“Do you remember that night, JC?” Gently, Howie’s hand turned Erik’s face until their eyes met. Howie gazed at him like they were sharing something beautiful.

“Yes.” He wished that he did; he wished that he had a memory like this.

“You told me how loved you felt that night. I want to make you feel like that again. You should always feel that way, JC.” Howie’s fingertips drifted down his cheek. “Always.”

The love, the desire in Howie’s eyes made Erik dizzy. “You make me feel that way,” he confessed, wanting to move closer, wanting to, mmm, kiss… Erik groaned as he finally, after hours of needing this, brought Howie flush to his body, moaning at the satisfaction of simply having Howie in his arms. The lush sensuality of Howie’s kiss sent a warm coil of arousal through his body, twitching through his dick.

When he felt Howie’s hands pushing his suit coat back and loosening his tie, Erik was quick to help, returning the favor. Soon their clothes joined the rose petals strewn across the floor, and Erik felt the firm heat of Howie’s body against his own. The press of skin to skin made Erik’s need that much greater, and he pulled Howie toward the bed, eager to fulfill his body’s urges.

“JC,” Howie moaned, and when they hit the bed, Howie rolled them both over. When the bed stopped spinning, Erik realized that he might have had too much to drink. Kissing him slowly, Howie murmured, “Do you want some,” lick, “dessert?”

“Yeah,” Erik said, mesmerized by the love and desire in Howie’s eyes. He wanted whatever Howie wanted.

Howie gave him a private little smile, then gracefully sat up astride him. Watching, Erik stroked Howie’s muscular thighs. First, Howie poured champagne, handing him a flute. “To you,” Howie said softly.

Pushing himself up onto one elbow, Erik touched his glass to Howie’s. “To you,” he said, and Howie looked so warmly pleased, so touched, that Erik took a quick sip to distract himself.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Howie said, like life had been painful without him.

“I’ve missed you, too. I’m glad that we can be together again,” Erik said, setting his flute aside and sliding his hands around Howie’s waist.

“I’ve wanted you…so much…”

“I want you, too, Howie. I always have.”

“JC…” Howie finger brushed over Erik’s lower lip. It was wet, and Erik tasted; champagne. Howie did it again, leaning down, dark lashes lowering in a slow sweep, and then Howie’s tongue flicked gently across Erik’s lower lip, tasting just as Erik had. Moaning, Erik licked out, meeting Howie in a slow, clinging kiss. “JC,” Howie whispered, making sweet love to him, mouth to mouth. “I love you.”

Oh, yes, “Howie,” Erik panted, wanting to roll over and get on top and-

A firm press of Howie’s hand kept Erik right where he was, in place under Howie. One final, slow kiss, and Howie reached to the tray again, picking up one of the metal cups. Erik watched, wondering, anticipating. As Howie tilted the cup, Erik braced himself.

A smooth, dark line of chocolate drizzled across Erik’s chest. It wasn’t hot, but it was pleasantly warm, and when Howie began to lick it up, Erik moaned. Howie’s mouth felt, yeah, oh, perfect, and when Howie’s tongue caught a stray drip by Erik’s nipple, Erik groaned. “Howie…”

Running his fingers over one last line of chocolate, Howie brought his hand to his mouth. Erik stared in lusting fascination as Howie licked his fingers, soft tongue flickering out. Slowly Howie’s eyes closed as he slid one finger into his mouth, soft lips closing around it as he savored the taste. When that finger slipped free, Howie’s eyes opened again, and the lust there made Erik’s blood shudder.

“You taste delicious,” Howie murmured, and kissed him. Mmm, Howie tasted like chocolate, rich and smooth. “You’re delicious, JC, I want to taste you everywhere.”

“Yes, yes,” Erik said eagerly, sliding his hands over Howie’s back.

“I love your body, JC,” Howie whispered, grinding against him, stroking his skin with warm, erotic caresses. Groaning, Erik rocked up against Howie, aching for it. “I love the way you look. I love the way you feel.”

“Yes, oh, you feel incredible,” god… How did JC do this, how could anyone take this?

Howie sat up again, reaching for another cup. Pouring slowly, he deliberately created a small puddle on Erik’s stomach, just above Erik’s straining erection. The warm chocolate pooled on Erik’s skin, and Erik’s dick twitched, responding to attention so near.

Picking up a red, ripe strawberry, Howie dipped it into the chocolate on Erik’s stomach. Then Howie leaned in again, offering the berry, eyes intent on Erik’s mouth. When Erik’s lips parted, he watched Howie’s lips part, too; when he bit into the strawberry, Howie moaned. “JC,” Howie breathed, rapt, lust in dark eyes. “Oh, JC…” Fascinated fingertips stroked the curves of Erik’s lips. “You’re so…”

Moving carefully, not wanting to spill chocolate everywhere, Erik reached for a strawberry. After lowering it to his stomach, he offered it to Howie. He’d never fed Howie before, and he hadn’t been prepared for the sudden curl of heat that rolled through him when Howie’s teeth sank into the ripe fruit, Howie’s lips that close to his fingers, the sudden flashing sense of Howie’s trust and momentary submission. Erik immediately wanted to feed Howie every day.

“Mmm, JC.” Howie swallowed and then kissed him. The lingering sweetness of the strawberries was there, along with the smooth chocolate taste. A different chocolate this time, though, than their last kiss. Darker, thicker. He felt Howie’s hand slid down his chest, fingers running through the puddle on his stomach too close to his erection. Erik groaned, dick throbbing at the touch. “I know,” Howie whispered. “I know, JC, I’ll give you what you want. I’ll give you everything you want.” As Howie left their kiss, Howie’s fingers brushed Erik’s mouth, and Erik licked at them, sucking at the chocolate taste until Howie moaned and whispered, “JC.”

“I want you,” Erik whispered. “I’m so hard, Howie, I have to-”

“Sshh,” Howie said gently, stroking his lips. “I promised to take care of you. Trust me, JC, I know just how to make you feel good.”

The look in Howie’s eyes made Erik hot with the knowledge that he was in incredibly skilled hands. When Howie sat up, reaching for the chocolate again, Erik braced himself, wondering where it would strike next. Then Howie’s free hand grasped the base of Erik’s erection, making him moan, holding it up straight and ready.

Howie was going to - - he’d never thought that - - oh, god, Howie was, oh, Erik curled his fingers into the sheets, staring as warm, smooth chocolate dripped onto the head of his dick, rolling down the shaft. “Oh, god,” he breathed, watching in fascination.

“I’ve been dreaming about the taste of you,” Howie said, as chocolate trickled down Erik’s dick. “All night I’ve wanted you in my mouth.”

Oh, god. Groaning at the fresh new ache, Erik fought the urge to buck his hips as Howie’s mouth descended. Licking up chocolate, sucking softly, Howie made a warm sound as Erik arched. Unable to bear it, rock-hard, suffering, Erik slid his fingers through Howie’s hair as Howie’s tongue licked around the head of his dick.

“Oh, god, Howie.” The agony of the sweetly intense stimulation and the urgent need for more thickened Erik’s voice. “Please…” Erik’s voice cut off with a groan as Howie gave his swollen erection a thorough tongue bath. Licking over and over, Howie chased drips with his tongue as they ran down the shaft, sucking chocolate from each rigid inch. Tense from the exquisite agony, Erik couldn’t stop moaning, tortured by the erotic attention. He needed more, more of Howie’s mouth, more suction, more rhythm. He needed to get off, he needed to come, soon.

Howie gave Erik a look that sent fire through Erik’s veins, then held Erik’s gaze as he slowly licked from base to tip; his eyes closed as he swallowed Erik’s entire erection in one smooth motion.

“Oh, shit, Howie,” he, oh, yes, god, “Howie, Howie…unh…” Howie’s warm mouth was moving over him with amazing rhythmic suction - - it had never felt like this before. Already groaning, Erik couldn’t help but cry out as his hips jacked up, pushing his throbbing erection deeper down Howie’s swallowing throat. God, yes, that felt, felt, oh, “god” yes “god” yes “yes” oh “Howie, I have to, I need to-”

“Yes, JC, come for me,” Howie said, jacking him with an expert grip. “Let me taste how sweet you are.” Howie acted like he wanted Erik’s orgasm more than he wanted his own. Howie was swallowing him again and he couldn’t possibly take another second. Coming, Erik jerked, calling out his pleasure as ecstasy and release shuddered through his overwhelmed body.

Oh…yeah… Too much alcohol, too much sex, too much Howie, that was a dangerous combination. The love and lust riding over and through him in waves, did Howie make JC feel like this every day? Erik couldn’t take any more of this, but the idea of stopping it was unbearable.

Howie kissed him, offering him a mouthful of cum. Erik swallowed, urging Howie against his body, moaning helplessly at the rigid heat of Howie’s erection. Running his hand up Howie’s thigh, he slid that hand around to the front and up and oh, “Howie,” god, he loved the way Howie’s dick felt and he loved the soft little breathy sounds Howie was making into their kiss and, “Howie…”

“I know,” Howie whispered, looking into his eyes. Was this what being hypnotized felt like? “I know what you want, JC. I know what your body needs.”

Howie kissed him again, making love through their kiss, running affectionate hands over Erik’s body, creating a warm tingle. Erik moaned weakly, caressing Howie’s erection. What he wanted was more. What he needed was Howie.

“I’ll give you what you want.” Howie’s voice was soft; his gaze poured love right into Erik’s suddenly vulnerable soul. “I know it’s been a long time, baby, but you know you can trust me. Roll over, JC, let me give you what you need.”

Oh.

Oh.

Well, duh. He was JC. He really should have seen that coming.

Swallowing, Erik reached over to the tray. Pushing Howie back and sitting up, he drained first his glass, then Howie’s.

Maybe he could do this if he just didn’t think about it. He was barely thinking as it was and everything felt so good, his mind couldn’t work up a decent protest.

He closed his eyes and took a swig straight from the bottle. Then, setting the bottle aside, he turned over, onto his stomach, curled his hands into the pillow, and tried to relax.

“Oh, JC.” Howie’s voice was soft with wonder. “You’re so beautiful, JC. You’re so sexy, and your body is so perfect…” Howie’s caress trailed down his back. Over his ass. The touch felt good, but it made him nervous, although Howie’s voice was so seductively loving… “I love you, JC, I’ve missed you so much, I’ve missed making love to you so much. I know you’ve needed me, JC, I know how much your body always wants it.” Suddenly Howie’s voice was closer, right behind Erik’s ear, and he felt soft, gentle kisses at the back of his neck and across his shoulders. “I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you, JC. I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want you. My body’s never responded to anyone like this.”

Something wet and warm fell across Erik’s back. More chocolate? It trickled down his spine.

“I wish that you could see this,” Howie murmured, and Erik felt his mouth again, gently licking, sweetly sucking. Okay, that felt really, mmm, nice... “Oh, JC, you taste so good…”

It was really hard to stay anxious when his entire body wanted to sink into the mattress in a moaning puddle of desire. He didn’t know how good he tasted, but he knew how good he felt, and, damn, it only got better. Howie’s hands rubbed gently, massaging the tension from his body while Howie’s mouth kissed over his back, licking up chocolate. Still buzzed from orgasm and hazy from wine and champagne, Erik lay there, eyes closed, moaning softly as he drifted on easy pleasure.

Howie’s attention worked its way down his back. Howie whispered love at him, and he felt warm wetness dripping across his ass, trickling down as Howie poured more chocolate over his skin. Loving hands gently spread his thighs further apart, and then he felt soft kisses and the intimate caress of Howie’s tongue at the small of his back. Howie kissed over, licked down, traveling slowly over the curves of his ass.

Erik floated in perfect bliss. This felt really good. Really, really good. He was getting aroused again, and he wanted to jack off a little, but it would take too much energy to move.

“Oh, JC.” Howie’s hands cupped his ass, squeezing gently, and Erik felt himself moaning. “I’ve wanted this for so long, JC, I’ve dreamt about it every night.” Howie’s touch skimmed the cleft of his ass, and then…

Erik’s eyes opened, slowly.

Slow, soft licking, right over his asshole. Teasing little flutters of Howie’s tongue. Bolder, firmer licks that made his muscles tense. The stroking wasn’t going in, but the subtle push of Howie’s tongue kind of made Erik wonder what it would be like. Tender licking made Erik squirm, and Howie made aroused little panting sounds he’d never heard before.

“Oh, JC… I know you need it, JC, I know you want it. I’ll give it to you, I’ll give you what your body’s begging for.”

Oh, god, that felt good. Moaning, Erik felt himself spreading his thighs, inviting more.

“That’s it, JC, that’s it,” Howie murmured, squeezing his ass, licking, kissing, sucking. “Show me how beautiful you are.”

Groaning, Erik pushed his hand beneath himself, fondling his erection, pumping it, panting. “Howie…” Howie’s thumb rubbed right there and Erik shuddered. “H-h-howie…”

“Hold on, JC, I have it for you.” Something slippery was being rubbed in the cleft of his ass, and it wasn’t chocolate syrup. Oh, god, Howie was lubing him up. He tensed, expecting penetration at any second, waiting for it. His thoughts were fuzzy and his body was hungry and it seemed like Howie was about to fuck him and maybe that would be okay. His brain wasn’t prepared to think about it and his body wasn’t prepared to deny it. “That’s it, JC, arch your back for me, show me what I’ve been missing all of these nights alone.”

“Howie,” he said, his voice aching and desperate. Erik felt drunk and confused and stupid and dizzy and really, really fucking turned on. Howie’s hands were all over him, all over his ass, stroking and squeezing and admiring, and Howie kept saying things, things about how sexy he was and how much Howie wanted him and how much Howie loved him. He was overwhelmed and he had no idea what to do, so he did what Howie wanted. He arched his back, and he moaned, and he tugged eagerly on his dick.

“That’s it, JC, that’s it,” and Erik felt Howie’s weight on him, Howie’s thighs hugging his. Howie’s body felt so hot, Erik expected to hear sweat sizzle. There was a soft little groan like Howie was pushing into him, and then, “Oh, JC, oh, god, you feel so good,” Howie said in a voice drenched with lust. “I’ve been dreaming about this, dreaming about being with you just like this.”

Howie’s erection fit into the groove of the cleft of his ass, pressing long and thick against him. As Howie began to rock, the length of it moved, sliding slickly back and forth. So hot, so hard, so real, god, Erik groaned, trying to rub back against it, jacking himself desperately. He’d expected Howie to get in him, to really fuck him, and this wasn’t that, and maybe his body was a little disappointed but this was so fucking good…

“Oh, JC,” Howie panted, fucking against him. “I’ve wanted this so much…”

“God, Howie.” He’d never felt anything like this. Howie was strong, riding him with smooth thrusts, one hand curved over his shoulder, one curled around his hip, their bodies moving together in a primal rhythm.

“I love you, JC, I love you, I love being able to give this to you.” Howie panted, fucking him in a constant roll of flesh on flesh. “You feel incredible, JC, you feel so good… Come for me, JC, come for me, I want you to feel it.”

Yes, yes, “yes, yes, Howie,” ah, uh, Erik groaned, squeezing his dick, pumping it, so close, so close, “Howie, god.” Each of Howie’s muscular thrusts moved him, rocking him as he jacked himself furiously. The burning length of Howie’s erection made him cry out, panting, wanting it, loving this fucking sensation. “Oh, Howie…” One forceful thrust and he came, groaning, cum spilling onto the sheets beneath him.

Making soft sounds of pleasure, enjoying Erik’s orgasm, Howie rode him, sliding back and forth in smooth rhythm, rocking against him until Howie’s breath caught and he felt the warm splash of Howie’s cum on his back.

“JC,” Howie whispered, kissing his nape, stroking his skin. “Oh, JC, I needed that so much.” Sweetly burning kisses across his cheek, at the corner of his mouth. “That was incredible.” Howie’s voice was soft, sensual, hypnotizing. “You feel amazing, JC, that’s just what I’ve been aching for.”

Erik closed his eyes. He had no idea what to say or think; he felt totally wiped out. When he felt Howie roll him over, though, he went with it, moving onto his side and pulling Howie against his body again. When Howie kissed him, he moaned, drained but unable not to respond, wrapping his arms around Howie and kissing back.

Howie’s kisses tasted like chocolate, still, but with a gentle undertone of almonds. That must have been what Howie had licked off of his back. Remembering the feel of it, Erik moaned again.

“I love you,” Howie said, kissing across his face and back to his ear, hands stroking hotly down his body like Howie just couldn’t stop touching him. “I love you, JC, it’s been so hard without you.”

“I know,” Erik said. It felt like he was living in a very vivid dream. He’d never had anything like this before in his life and he wanted to keep it forever.

Howie’s sweet kisses licked down his neck, making him arch a little. He felt Howie’s fingers gently sneaking down to stroke his ass. The sensation of slight pressure against his asshole made him groan and shudder.

God, he wanted it.

“I love you,” Howie whispered.

“Howie,” Erik whispered back, torn by all of the things he couldn’t say. The tender caress of Howie’s fingers right down there made him squirm. “Howie…”

“I love you so much,” Howie whispered, kissing him. Erik gave in, surrendering to Howie’s kiss the way his body wanted to yield to Howie’s love.

Slowly, Howie’s hand strayed up Erik’s thigh. Pulled him closer, pressing their bodies tightly together. When Howie left their kiss, Erik opened his eyes, and Howie was gazing at him like he was the most beautiful thing that Howie had ever seen.

“Sometimes,” Howie whispered, “I just can’t believe you’re real.” A tender caress as Howie’s fingers drifted over Erik’s cheek, making Erik’s eyes close briefly as a quick pulse fluttered through Erik’s heart. “Stay here, with me, tonight.”

“Yes,” Erik whispered, and he gazed into Howie’s loving, beautiful, desire-filled eyes. He couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

JC zipped up, running a hand through his hair and moving for the door.

Solid orgasm. No emotional ties whatsoever. He didn’t care if he ever saw the guy again.

He didn’t know if that made him feel stronger or emptier.

Regardless, he’d done it. He’d had sex with a complete stranger. All biological functions had run like clockwork, while all emotional functions had remained distant and untouched. He’d gotten off, he’d had a good time, and now it was over. Just like before.

It had been fine - - not terrific, but good sex - - so he knew, now, for certain, that he could have a good time getting laid without it meaning anything deeper. There were ways to make sex richer, deeper, and that included an emotional connection; but it didn’t have to be that way, every time, for it to be good sex.

There was one stubborn problem with Erik, and JC worked on it as he drove home. Erik wasn’t a stranger. JC knew Erik, and got to know Erik better and better as time passed. The more he knew about Erik, the harder it was not to like him, and that created an emotional connection. He’d have to try to keep his mind on how little he respected Erik, and redirect his hatred for Ashley the way Howie had shown him.

He and Erik weren’t involved in a personal relationship. He only spoke to Erik because of the game. Maybe he shouldn’t even think of Erik as a person. Did Kevin see Justin as a person? Viewing Erik as a pawn, as part of the game, would make it easier to create distance.

It would help to create sexual distance, too. He was supposed to draw Erik in sexually, but he could probably manage to push Erik off on Howie, anyway. He could encourage Erik to fall for Howie. If he had less sex with Erik, then Erik would have more sex with Howie, and might be more inclined to give in to Howie when Howie moved in for the kill. Long-term, JC limiting Erik’s sexual access would be good for the game.

Initially, Erik’s inexperience had come across as fumbling ineptitude, which had been a major turn-off. He couldn’t take back the experience that Erik had gained, but he could encourage Erik to do things he didn’t really like. If JC didn’t like Erik’s sexual techniques, it would be harder to deal with Erik, but that would also keep him from being tempted to get invested. He’d trained Erik to do what he liked, but maybe he could retrain Erik in another direction.

Had it really come to this? Was he really planning to teach someone how to fuck him badly? Erik was going to screw him a large number of times before this game ended. Was he really going to put himself through this?

Did he have a choice?

Erik knew him. Cared about him. Erik’s emotional investment would draw JC right back in if he didn’t find a way to erect barriers between them. Erik’s lousy technique would be a major deterrent. If his body didn’t like it, his heart wouldn’t, either.

Sex was body parts. Sex was fucking. Sex was Erik nailing him because he was available.

Love was the way his soul splintered when he opened his eyes in the morning and Nick wasn’t there.

Erik didn’t love him. Erik didn’t care about him beyond his generosity in granting Erik the use of his body. If Erik couldn’t fuck him, Erik wouldn’t even answer his calls.

JC was playing a game. Playing to win meant making sacrifices for long-term goals. He’d put himself through whatever necessary, to get what he wanted.

It would be worth it.

He’d come out victorious.

Sex wasn’t about love.

Love wasn’t about sex.

JC wasn’t going to fall for that again.

Brian drove back to the Townhouse. When Jacob sighed, relaxing, taking his hair out of its ponytail, Brian reached over and ran his fingers through Jacob’s dreads.

“What do you think?” Brian asked, returning his hand to the wheel. “Did dinner go better than lunch?”

“Nick’s a huge improvement over Lance,” Jacob admitted. “I don’t trust Joey, I still don’t like what he’s doing with Ashley.”

“You don’t trust Joey, Joey doesn’t trust Dan, Dan doesn’t trust AJ… I wish that we weren’t all so suspicious of each other,” Brian said.

“You can’t expect everyone to be best friends,” Jacob said. “We’re going to have issues with each other.”

“I know.” Brian sighed.

“Is Kevin really okay with Chris and Trevor being together?” Jacob asked.

“He is,” Brian said. “He wants Chris to be happy, and he thinks that Trevor’s a great guy.”

“They’re not really boyfriends,” Jacob said. “If Kevin wanted one of them, he could go for it.”

“What?” Brian asked, surprised. “Kevin doesn’t - - even if he did want one of them, he wouldn’t interfere. They have a good thing, and Kevin wouldn’t step into the middle of that. Besides, Kevin and Chris… They’re never going to reunite. And even if Kevin were interested in Trevor as more than a friend, he wouldn’t do anything. He knows how much Trevor loves Chris.”

“Good,” Jacob said. He drummed his fingers on one slender thigh. “That’s good.”

Brian pulled into the driveway, putting the car in park. He turned to meet Jacob’s eyes.

Jacob’s gaze focused as he read Brian’s expression. “You’re not coming in.”

“We agreed-”

“You agreed,” Jacob said harshly.

Brian put his hand on Jacob’s. “I’ll come over tomorrow.” He squeezed Jacob’s hand. “I’ve had a great time with you today. Don’t get mad at me now. I’ll come over tomorrow. All you’re going to do now is go inside and go to bed, and we can’t talk while we’re asleep, anyway.”

“I’m not mad at you.” Jacob looked away. “I can’t be mad at you.”

“I could never be angry with you, either,” Brian said softly, stroking the back of Jacob’s hand. “I love you, Jacob, you know that. Spending a little less time together, spending a little more time with other people, that won’t mean we’re any less close than we are now. I feel closer to you than I ever have to anyone in my life, and nothing can change that.”

“I know.” Jacob’s gaze found his again. “Brian…”

Brian’s other hand rose. Gentle fingers trailed lightly down the side of Jacob’s face.

Emotion trapped the words in Jacob’s throat.

“What is it about you?” Brian whispered.

Jacob needed Brian. Brian, more of Brian, all of Brian, was vital to Jacob’s existence. He pulled Brian close, wrapping Brian in an embrace and holding Brian there until the pounding of his own heart became painful.

“I love you so much,” Brian whispered. The scent of him made Jacob’s chest tight with need. “I want you to know me in ways no one else ever has. You already do, but I want us to be closer. I don’t know how to make that happen. I just want to be closer to you. I want to know you, inside and out, every inch of you, every thought in your head. And I want you to know me. How can we do that, how can we get closer?”

Jacob’s heart convulsed. “There are ways,” he said, holding Brian tighter, his voice thick with nearly overwhelming love and intense desire. “We’ll find them. Together.”

“You hated him for that, too?” Joey asked, walking into his house.

“I hated him for every damned thing he said all night!” Nick exclaimed. “He’s such an arrogant, judgmental, hypocritical, bullshitting son-of-a-bitch!”

“I can’t fucking stand him,” Joey said. “I couldn’t take it, I wanted to punch him right in the mouth.”

“What the hell is with his hair?” Nick demanded. “What the fuck is that?”

“I was afraid to get too close,” Joey said. “I thought something might reach out of it and attack me.”

“Ugh.” Disgusted, Nick sprawled on the couch. “Thank god that’s over with.” He pulled out his phone. “Time for an update.”

“Update?” Joey asked, sitting beside him.

“I’ll call my guys, you call yours,” Nick said. “Tell them what happened, what we talked about, what they need to know.”

“What do they need to know?” Joey asked.

“Whatever applies to them,” Nick said. “Tell everybody about us giving Dan back the bracelet. Tell Lance that I call him the Bassinator, and that he likes me.”

“He’s going to have a hard time pulling that off,” Joey said.

Nick grinned. “If he can get it up for Jacob, he can smile for me.”

Joey stared at his phone, then groaned. “Chris must have called me once every five minutes.”

“Isn’t he with Trevor tonight?” Nick asked.

“Yeah, but that didn’t stop him.”

“What’s he want?” Nick asked, curious.

Joey listened. “He wants to know if I’ve seen Brian yet.” Next message. “He wants to know what Brian’s wearing.” Next message. “He wants to know if Brian’s smiling.” Next message. “He wants to know how blue Brian’s eyes are.” Next message. “He wants to know what Brian ordered.” Next message. “He wants to know how the table’s arranged and where Brian’s sitting.” Next message. “He wants to know if Brian’s laughing.” Next message. “He wants to know if I could poison Jacob.”

The door to Dan’s room was shut. Jacob knocked.

“You’re home!” Ashley said, coming down the hallway. “How was dinner?”

“Stay put,” Jacob said to Ashley as the door opened. “I want to talk to you.” He looked at Dan. “Can I see this emerald bracelet everyone’s talking about?”

“Sure,” Dan said, sliding the bracelet off over his hand. His voice was calm, not friendly.

“You’re wearing it?” Jacob asked, taking it from him. Shit, “What’d you have to pay for this?”

“I’ll wear it until I get a chance to give it back to Justin,” Dan said. He hadn’t stepped away from the doorway, hadn’t made an inviting move.

“This costs more than anything I’ve ever worn,” Jacob said.

“What about those diamonds in your ears?” Dan said, taking the bracelet back.

“Those were a gift from a close friend who could afford them,” Jacob said. “That was a gift to someone else’s lover.”

“Justin broke up with AJ before I ever bought this for him,” Dan said. “It meant a lot to him, and-”

“If it meant a lot, why’d he give it back?” Jacob asked.

“He didn’t,” Dan snapped. “AJ took it away from him.”

“Do you know that?” Jacob asked. “Were you there?”

“No, but I was there when Justin showed up at our front door with bruises on his face,” Dan said. “All you know is what you’re told by AJ’s friends. All I know is what I saw when Justin cried.” His expression hardened. “I’m not doing this with you tonight,” he said, and closed the door.

Jacob gave the door an intimidating glare.

“Justin gave Dan all of those clothes,” Ashley said. “Maybe he just wanted to give Justin something.”

Ashley. Jacob’s attention turned. “Nick had some interesting things to say tonight.”

Smiling uncertainly, Ashley looked like he was trying to be calm but was inwardly panicked. “He did?”

“He doesn’t see you as a threat,” Jacob said. “He doesn’t know that you’re trying to break him and Joey up. They think that you understand what’s going on, that what they have is real and what you and Joey have is just sex.”

Ashley frowned, mouth opening and closing as if he didn’t know how to defend himself.

“Ashley, you could have anyone you want,” Jacob said. “Why are you so damned determined to have someone who’s already in a relationship?”

“I’m in love with Joey,” Ashley said. “Joey loves me, and-”

“Joey loves Nick,” Jacob snapped. “Joey loves himself. Joey loves fucking. Joey doesn’t care about you.”

“Joey loves me,” Ashley insisted. “I don’t expect you to understand-”

“What I understand is that you’re turning into a cheap slut, you’re whoring yourself out to someone who doesn’t give a shit about you, you’re breaking up someone else’s relationship-”

Ashley’s face was red, his voice pained and furious. “You don’t-”

“You’re too good for that, Ashley. You’re worth a hundred of Nick and a thousand of Joey. Don’t do this to yourself! You’re better than this! He’s not worth it! And he’s with Nick! He doesn’t even see you as a possible boyfriend, he sees you as a fuck on the side. Why-”

“I’m not doing this for fun!” Ashley exclaimed. “I love Joey! I know that he loves me, I know that we’re going to be together, I just have to get through this!”

“By the time you’re through it, you won’t even be you anymore,” Jacob snapped.

“Yelling at me and calling me a whore is not going to make me stop loving Joey,” Ashley said. “It just makes you sound like AJ.”

Jacob glared at Ashley, then glanced at Dan’s closed door. “It sounds to me like AJ’s been right about a lot.”

“He almost killed Erik!” Ashley protested. “He-”

“Justin almost killed me,” Jacob said. “Dan’s still all over him.”

Ashley squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing his hands over his face. “Jake, if you think I’m too good to do what I’m doing, if you think I’m better than that, why can’t you just sit down and talk to me about that? If you love me and you’re proud of me and you’re my friend, why can’t you approach me that way, instead of shouting at me and calling me names?”

Frustrated, Jacob stepped closer. “Ashley…” He sighed. “I don’t know.” Jacob shook his head, not knowing what to say. “Sometimes I’m just mad at the world. I get so frustrated, with everything. Everyone’s doing the wrong thing and we’re all making the wrong moves and I just get so angry about it.”

Ashley’s voice softened. “Are you ever going to tell us what’s really wrong?”

“No.” His private hell with Lance was never going to know the light of day. “I’m sorry about taking it out on you.” Tension melted; Jacob was left with only regrets. “But everything’s going wrong, and this bullshit with you and Joey is the worst of all.”

“He loves me,” Ashley said quietly.

Jacob’s heart twitched. “I wish he did. I wish he did, Ash, I wish he loved you the way you love him. You’re giving him so much of yourself.”

“It’ll work out,” Ashley said, hugging himself. “We’ll be together. I know we will.”

AJ located Justin upstairs, in his closet, investigating clothes. After studying the scene for a moment, AJ asked, “Trying to decide what to wear next time Kevin shows up?”

“None of this is good enough,” Justin said, rummaging through pairs of pants. “What do you want?”

“What’s the code for your voice mail?” AJ asked.

“For my-” Justin stopped, then really looked at him. “There’s no way I’m giving you that.”

“We could go shopping,” AJ said.

Intrigued, Justin smiled. “That could actually be fun.”

“I’m fun on wheels,” AJ said.

“Why are you trying to get into my voice mail?” Justin asked. “Is this for the house phone or my cell?”

“Never mind,” AJ said, walking away. He could figure it out.

“AJ!” Justin called.

“Never mind!” AJ repeated, going back downstairs.

“AJ!” Justin shouted.

“Don’t use that tone with me!” AJ called back. Justin wouldn’t be stupid enough to use his own birthday. He would be silly enough to use Kevin’s.

“AJ!” Justin joined him downstairs. “Put that down,” he said, exasperated, taking the phone from AJ’s hand. “Are you trying to listen to my messages?”

“I told you to never mind,” AJ said, taking the phone back.

“Give me that,” Justin said.

AJ pushed Justin away. “No.”

“No?” Justin repeated. “It’s my phone.”

“I said no,” AJ said.

“You stupid, controlling, stubborn bastard,” Justin said without even a trace of animosity. “Is this about the game, or are you just fucking with me?”

“It’s about the game,” AJ said.

“Okay.” Justin eyed him warily. “Don’t delete anything important.”

“I won’t,” AJ said.

“Do what you have to do, but I’m only giving in because Kevin would want me to,” Justin said.

AJ smiled. “I know.”

Brian moaned eagerly, his clothes half-off, wrapping his arms around Lance’s shoulders and kissing hungrily, hooking his leg around Lance’s waist as Lance lowered him to the table.

AJ checked Justin’s voice mail. 47336 worked, which just happened to spell “green.” He skipped over messages from Justin’s friends, deleting every single one from Dan. Then he did the same thing with the house phone.

Dan had been sensible enough not to call after AJ had warned him to stay away. Smart boy.

AJ moved through the house calmly, but combed it thoroughly. He took Dan’s bag out of Justin’s bedroom. Took away Dan’s toothbrush. Dan’s sneakers. A few volumes of poetry. Anything that looked like might be Dan’s, he removed from the house, putting everything into his trunk.

Justin, in a dazed, post-Kevin fog, remained oblivious as AJ stripped another layer of Dan from his life.

Continue on to part sixty

matthew@matthewtime.com
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