Sucker
Copyright November 24, 2002-November 11, 2005 by Matthew Haldeman-Time
Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex
Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town
Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.
Kevin was, god, Kevin, Justin couldn’t believe it. “I tried to be good,” Justin said, following Kevin back to the bed. “I did what AJ wanted.” He’d obeyed, and Kevin had come for him. “I-”
Green eyes pinned him. “Do I look interested in your chatter?”
Swallowing, Justin shook his head.
“Be quiet,” Kevin said. “I’ll let you know when you can make noise again.”
Attempting to look obedient, Justin watched Kevin stretch and lay back. He’d missed Kevin. Kevin’s presence. Sharing a bed. Sharing anything, with Kevin. Being near Kevin again, being alone with Kevin again, it was like finding himself again. Losing himself again.
“Come here,” Kevin said, holding out a hand.
Immediately, Justin took Kevin’s hand, moving closer. Kevin pulled him in, and Justin obeyed the cues from Kevin’s touch, settling on his stomach on top of Kevin, chest to chest, thigh to thigh. Being pressed to Kevin’s naked body, this intimately, flesh on flesh, felt insanely wonderful, and beautifully familiar. He gazed into Kevin’s face, intimidated, overjoyed, trembling.
“Hmm.” Kevin’s gaze wandered Justin’s face. Kevin’s thumb rubbed at the inner corner of Justin’s eyebrow, smoothing it. “You still look like a teenager.”
He was twenty-one. He wasn’t a teenager, he was an adult, a man, and the older he got, the less the age difference between him and Kevin mattered.
But there were gaps between him and Kevin that couldn’t be bridged.
“Thank god you got rid of most of that ridiculous hair,” Kevin said, running his hand over what remained of it. “I should have shaved you bald.”
Justin immediately resolved-
“And don’t shave yourself bald just because I said that,” Kevin said firmly.
Oh.
“That mouth of yours is still good for something,” Kevin said, teasing Justin’s lips apart with his thumb. When Justin licked at it, he smiled. “You’re a shameless whore.”
Only for Kevin. Justin sucked softly, worshipfully.
After working out the details of the deliveries, Howie and Erik had one issue left. The dinner.
“It has to go perfectly,” Howie said.
“It will,” Erik said, beside him on the sofa, massaging Howie’s feet. When he pressed the right spot on Howie’s arch, Howie’s toes curled. It was kind of cute. He liked knowing little things like that about Howie.
“I have to decide where it should be. What to eat. What to wear. What to say.” Howie pushed his fingers through his hair, leaning back against the armrest and looking to the ceiling. “It has to be perfect for JC.”
“You’ll choose the right place,” Erik said. “Don’t worry about the menu. It’s not about that, it’s about being with JC again. That stuff’s all details.”
“Details are important,” Howie said. “I want him to know that I care about him enough to make the evening perfect for him.”
“He knows that,” Erik said. “It’s dinner with
JC. You’ve done that a million times.”
“It feels like it’s been forever since JC and I have really talked.”
“You’re really worried about this,” Erik said. “Stop putting so much pressure on it. JC loves you, he wants to be with you. All he wants is the right sign from you, and that’s what this is.”
Howie sighed at the ceiling. “If I could do a dry run. A practice dinner. The restaurant and the food don’t matter, it’s the romance I want to practice. I want to get my moves down.”
“It’ll come to you naturally,” Erik said.
Howie looked at him.
“What?” Erik asked. His hands stopped moving on Howie’s foot as the meaning of Howie’s speculative gaze sunk in. “You want to practice on me, don’t you?”
“You have to eat dinner tonight, anyway,” Howie said. Sitting up, withdrawing his foot from Erik’s lap, he said, “We can do it here. I’ll order in and light some candles.”
“Not that I’d mind being seduced,” Erik said. “Tonight?”
“Why don’t you go home and get dressed while I set things up here?” Howie asked.
“I have to wear a suit?” Erik asked.
“JC would,” Howie said.
The first thing that came to Erik’s mind was, “I’m not JC,” but then he thought about it. “Maybe you should do that thing. That…transference thing.”
“Transference?” Howie asked.
“Where you look at me and see JC.”
“All night?” Howie asked, forehead creasing.
“It’ll make it more real,” Erik said. “You can practice your moves on JC.”
“What should I… Should I call you JC?” Howie asked.
“Sure,” Erik said, shrugging. “I’ve been called worse.”
Howie laughed. “Okay. I can try it.”
“Good.” This could be interesting. “I’ll go home and find a suit.”
Howie kissed him. “Thank your for all of your help, Erik-Michael.”
“It’s been fun,” Erik said. “Thanks for the bracelet.”
Another kiss. Lingering. Deepening. Reminding Erik of what they’d started, but hadn’t finished, in the car. “Will you stay, tonight?” Howie whispered.
God, yes. “Yeah,” Erik said, licking his lips. “I’ll stay.”
Staying silent, as he’d been instructed, Justin dropped slow, loving kisses across Kevin’s cheeks, over and around Kevin’s mouth. Green eyes closed, black lashes against pale skin. Kevin’s fingers trailed up and down Justin’s naked back.
Nick took the bracelet from him, pocketing it as they approached the Townhouse’s front door. “You ready?”
This visit was no longer a simple “fuck you” to Dan. They were about to commit themselves to an evening with Brian and Jacob. That meant that Nick and Joey had to take their show on the road. Making out in front of Trevor had been nothing; that had spoken for itself. Fooling Ashley never had been all that hard. But now they had to convince Jacob that they had a real relationship. Joey didn’t assume that they’d be under too much scrutiny, since Jacob would probably be consumed by Brian, like usual. But they hadn’t had to be a true couple for any extended period of time before, in front of witnesses, conversing and interacting, especially with other people there to affect their dynamic.
The trick to it would be finding the right balance. They couldn’t be too antagonistic, because that would at the very least make it look like Ashley was right to move in on him. They also couldn’t coo and fawn all over each other, because that wasn’t a natural part of their relationship. They had to be comfortable with each other, connecting effortlessly. Familiar, and physical, without overdoing it.
Joey took a deep breath, staring down the door. “Ready.”
Erik had just gotten home a minute earlier, when the doorbell rang. Only halfway up the stairs, he turned around and went back down. Remembering AJ’s visit the day before, and suddenly wary of letting people directly into his house, he checked the peephole.
Nick and Joey.
Was that good news for Ashley, or bad?
Erik pulled the door open. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Nick said. “We’re here to see Brian. Could you get him for us?”
“Get him?” Erik repeated. “I’m not playing fetch with you.”
Joey casually shifted closer to Nick, murmuring, “Say ‘please.’”
“Okay,” Nick said, looking directly at Erik. In a deliberately, unbearably condescending voice, he said, “We’re here to see Brian. Could you get him for us…please?”
Erik didn’t want to, but what was he going to do? Say that Brian wasn’t there? Brian’s car was right outside, and Nick had to have recognized it. He could send Nick and Joey to Jacob’s room, but Jacob had been so touchy lately… Erik sighed. “Wait here.”
When Kevin kissed him, tenderly, lazily, Justin kissed back, trapping a soft, grateful, excited whimper inside.
Kevin looked into his eyes, smiling slightly, running an affectionate fingertip down the line of Justin’s nose. “You look kind of cute today.”
Justin smiled, flattered, feeling himself blush.
Kevin kissed his cheek, stroking the back of his neck. Cheek to cheek, Kevin whispered, “Thank you, Kevin.”
“Thank you, Kevin,” Justin said softly, closing his eyes.
“I love you, Kevin,” Kevin whispered, caressing his nape.
Justin’s body was vulnerable with love and hot with desire. “I love you, Kevin.”
“I love you, Kevin,” Kevin whispered again.
As emotion welled up inside, Justin’s throat closed around the words. “I love you, Kevin.”
Kevin kissed his cheek. “Ssshhh.”
Silenced again, Justin kissed Kevin’s cheek.
“Come on,” Nick whispered, tugging Joey inside and closing the door. “I heard something in the kitchen.”
“Give me the bracelet,” Joey whispered, following. He wanted to hand the bracelet over himself, wanted to shove it right in Sonic Boom’s face. Throw it at his head.
“No,” Nick whispered, and stopped walking right before the kitchen doorway, posture alert, eyes narrowing. Listening. “Play it the way we talked about.”
“Give me the-”
“Did you make the reservations?” Nick asked, his voice at normal volume now.
“We don’t need reservations,” Joey said, slipping into their script.
“So you want to show up and not get a table?” Nick asked.
“When have you ever not gotten a table?” Joey asked.
“I don’t want to wait,” Nick said.
“We won’t have to wait,” Joey said, as Dan walked right out of the kitchen.
“Hi,” Dan said. “Are you here for…” He glanced at Nick, and left the sentence unfinished.
“We’re here to see Brian,” Nick said, with a too-polite smile. “But while we’re here… Do I still have that on me?” he asked Joey, patting his pockets. “Here you go,” he said, pulling out the bracelet. “This belongs to you.”
Dan stared at the bracelet. It dangled from Nick’s fingertip. Slowly, he raised his gaze, meeting Nick’s eyes. “That belongs to Justin,” he said quietly and very firmly. Joey was a little surprised by this reaction. It was a little more subtle than Joey had expected. Clearly, Dan would be stubborn, but possibly classy, too. Joey didn’t like that.
“No,” Nick said. “It belongs to you. I don’t care who it used to belong to. Maybe Justin used to wear it, but you had no business giving jewelry to someone else’s boyfriend.”
“Justin wasn’t with AJ then,” Dan said. His expression was tense and his voice was strong but deceptively calm. “He shouldn’t be with AJ now.”
AJ’s name out of Dan’s mouth wasn’t what Joey wanted to hear. “Justin should be with whoever he wants to be with,” Joey said. “You’re the only one trying to keep him from what makes him happy. Why is that?”
“You want Justin for yourself?” Nick asked Dan. “You’re not going to get him.”
“I would love for Justin to be happy,” Dan told Joey, addressing Joey’s point and ignoring Nick. “I’ve seen up close, for myself, how miserable and frightened AJ makes him. I don’t know how you could have missed it. I don’t know how you could be blind to how destructive AJ is and how traumatized Justin is.”
Joey opened his mouth to curse the fucker out.
“This isn’t my bracelet,” Dan said. “It’s Justin’s. I’ll take it, if he ever tries to give it to me. I don’t see Justin here, I don’t know how you got that, I don’t know who gave it to you, I don’t even know if it’s the same bracelet. Maybe you should take it back to whoever gave it to you, and tell him that loving someone shouldn’t look so much like hating someone. Caring for someone shouldn’t look so much like abusing him.”
“Where the fuck do you get off calling AJ abusive?” Nick demanded. “Who the fuck are you to-”
“I’m Justin’s friend,” Dan snapped. “I seem to be the only friend he has,” he added, with a disgusted, disbelieving look at Joey.
“I don’t have to prove anything to you,” Joey said. “I understand more about Justin than you know about yourself.”
“If you don’t take this from me right now,” Nick said, “I’ll toss it in the trash and no one will ever see it again. It’s up to you. I don’t give a fuck.”
Dan looked at Joey. There was an intensity to his gaze that was almost a threat. “If you’re anywhere near as close to Justin as you’re supposed to be, then you’ve seen him cry and you’ve heard him scream and you’ve watched him shake. If you’ve witnessed that, and you’re not doing anything to stop it, you’re sitting back and letting it happen, then you deserve to have the exact same thing happen to you. And I hope, for your sake, that when it does, he’s a better friend to you than you are to him.”
When Dan reached for the bracelet, Nick jerked it back; Dan’s fingers closed on air. “Should I knock him out?” Nick asked Joey, gaze trained on Dan, lips curled in an angry sneer.
Joey wanted to say yes. Joey wanted to punch Dan, himself. He-
“Joey?” Ashley’s voice was surprised. Uncertain. Right behind him.
“God, this is not what I need,” Nick muttered. “Go fetch,” he said, tossing the bracelet past Dan and into the kitchen.
Joey smirked. He couldn’t help it. He wanted to see Sonic Boom chase and crawl. Dan caught his look, and the incredulous expression on Dan’s face reminded Joey that he was supposed to be a good person, a nice guy, Justin’s friend, not a bully, not a sociopath. Locked in eye contact, trapped by Dan’s sudden understanding and scorn, Joey felt sick with shame.
He was being seen for who he really was, and he was being judged for it. And what was his defense? That this wasn’t really who he was, that he was playing a part, that he really was a good guy? If that were true, then why was he here? Why was he doing this? How much could the “this is all part of a game” defense really excuse? At what point did the line blur?
Dan turned away, shoulders straight, and went into the kitchen, retrieving the bracelet.
“Joey,” Ashley said. “I didn’t know you were here.”
Dan brushed the bracelet off, polishing it on his shirt for a moment. He walked right back in their direction, passing by without a glance. Joey turned and watched him go upstairs.
“Pompous ass,” Nick muttered, disgusted. “What the hell was he doing, threatening you?”
“Forget about it,” Joey said, trying to get over it. He couldn’t let Dan rattle him. How could Dan possibly get to him like this? He’d taken much worse from AJ and learned how to roll on. Shaking it off, Joey looked at Ashley, forcing a smile. “Hey, pretty.”
“What’s going on?” Ashley asked, concerned. “What was all of that with Dan?”
“We were just returning something,” Joey said.
“Now that Justin and AJ are back together, Justin doesn’t need Dan’s little gifts anymore,” Nick said.
“Gifts?” Ashley asked. “Dan gave Justin - - was that bracelet… Dan bought that?” He looked astonished.
“Did Estrada get lost?” Nick asked, looking around. “How long does it take to-”
“I’m right here, and Brian’s on his way,” Erik said, walking past without stopping.
“Thanks,” Joey said, for the sake of it.
“You’re here to see Brian?” Ashley asked, like his feelings weren’t hurt.
“Why else would we be here?” Nick asked.
“Don’t be mean,” Joey chided him.
“Hey, Nick,” Brian said, joining them. “Joey, hey, what’s up?” He smiled, not glancing in Ashley’s direction.
“Are you doing anything tonight?” Nick asked.
“No, not really,” Brian said. “Just hanging out here. Why?”
“We’re on our way to dinner,” Nick said. “You want to come?”
Joey kept his gaze on Brian. He didn’t want to watch Ashley get upset and try to cover it up.
“I… That’d be great,” Brian said. “Can I bring Jacob?”
“How do we feel about Jacob?” Nick asked Joey.
Joey shrugged.
“Okay,” Nick said to Brian. “Go get him.”
“Great.” Brian left them.
Nick jingled his keys.
“Where are you going?” Ashley asked. When Joey looked at him, his arms were crossed over his chest, and his smile was painful to see. Ashley didn’t like to let people know that they’d hurt his feelings when he thought that it wasn’t something he should bring up, and at the moment, this current slight wasn’t something he could confront Joey about. So he was pretending that everything was okay. Except it wasn’t, and he wasn’t very good at hiding that.
“Probably Bartoli’s,” Joey said.
Ashley nodded. His eyes were a little too bright. He was trying his hardest to understand. “I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard it’s great.”
Joey wanted to get the fuck out of the house. “I hope Jacob likes Italian.”
“Oh, yeah, sure,” Ashley said, reassuring.
“Everybody likes Italian,” Nick said.
“Not everyone,” Joey said.
Nick looked at him. “Has anyone ever turned
you down?”
Joey grinned. “No.”
Nick grinned back. “Everybody likes Italian.”
Ashley smiled a little, too. Like he wasn’t confused and conflicted and feeling like shit and trying to understand, almost visibly aching to give Joey the benefit of the doubt. Like somehow, there had to be a good reason for Joey to show up at his house and ignore him and take his best friend out to dinner, when Joey had never expressed any interest in Jacob as a person before, when Joey had already said, “I love you,” when Ashley had just spent a night in Nick and Joey’s bed and now they were acting like they’d barely met him before. Like it had to be okay for Joey to fuck him sometimes and talk about love sometimes and ignore him sometimes, there had to be a good reason for it, because Joey wouldn’t knowingly hurt him.
Joey wanted to scoff at Ashley for being that naïve.
Part of him wished that Ashley were right.
“Sounds like it’ll be a good night,” Ashley said, and Joey realized what was about to happen. Shit. There must have been some way to avoid this, must have- “Mind if I come along?”
“Angel,” Nick said, before Joey could speak, “there is no way-”
Thank god for Nick. Still, Joey had to try, at least for appearances’ sake. He turned to Nick. “We could-”
“Who are you dating, me or Angel?” Nick asked.
“It’s not a date,” Joey said. “It’s you and me, and Brian, and Jacob. Jacob and Ashley are friends, so-”
“I’m not taking half of O-Town to dinner with me,” Nick said. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Do you have to be an ass about it?” Joey asked.
“I’m not being an ass, I’m being honest,” Nick said.
Joey gave Nick a look, then turned back to Ashley. “Maybe another time, pretty.”
“Okay,” Ashley said. “No big deal.” But he was hurt.
Justin wanted to tell Kevin how much he loved him.
He gazed into Kevin’s eyes, and watched Kevin look back.
He wanted to tell Kevin how excited, how fulfilled he was, now that Kevin had come for him.
He ran his fingers through Kevin’s hair.
He wanted to tell Kevin that he would have waited forever.
His fingers drifted lovingly down Kevin’s cheek.
He wanted to tell Kevin how hard it had been, when Kevin had been away from him. He wanted to explain how terrible it was, to be separated from Kevin. He wanted to beg Kevin not to let it happen again.
He kissed Kevin’s forehead, and cheekbones, and neck.
He wanted to explain that he’d promise anything. Obey any command.
He touched the corner of Kevin’s mouth, leaving kisses there, wondering what he could do to make Kevin smile at him again.
He wanted to say, “I love you,” and whisper Kevin’s name, and pledge himself for life.
Chris opened the closet door.
Trevor stared. “No way.”
“Yes way,” Chris said.
“That’s a SuperHydroDrench 4000,” Trevor said, unable to believe his eyes. “That’s the most souped-up, quick-action, two-handed water gun on the market.”
“One for you,” Chris said, handing it over. He grinned wickedly, hoisting a second. “One for me.”
“Right here?” Trevor asked, disbelieving.
“Of course not,” Chris said. “We’re taking this battle outside.”
Trevor studied the water chambers and the trigger, turning the gun over in his hands. He looked at Chris and returned Chris’s wicked grin. “You’d better run.”
Jacob was sitting on his floor, his back against the bed, facing away from the door, doodling in his lyric book, when he heard Brian come into the room. “What’d Nick want?”
“To take me to dinner.” The bed squeaked slightly as Brian crawled across the mattress. Loving arms wrapped around Jacob’s shoulders from behind. “Come with us.”
“Me?” Jacob asked. Not in a million years. “I just had lunch with the Basstronaut.”
“Please?” Brian’s chin was on his shoulder, Brian’s cheek against his. “It’ll be fun.”
“You want me to get to know your friends,” Jacob said.
“I want them to get to know you,” Brian said.
“Nick and Joey?” Jacob asked. “Maybe you
should take Ashley instead of me.”
“Come with us,” Brian said. “If it’s terrible, you’re off the hook
for a week. If everything goes okay, I get to take you around to somebody
else.”
“Didn’t we just eat?” Jacob asked.
“You don’t have to order anything big.”
Jacob sighed. He loved having Brian this close, loved having Brian draped around him like this, loved having Brian ask him for things. “This is important to you?”
“It matters to me,” Brian said, fingers rubbing gently just inside the neckline of his T-shirt.
Jacob’s dick swelled at Brian’s caress. “Do I have to change clothes?”
“No,” Brian said.
Brian wanted him to go. His answer had been determined from the start. “Okay.”
Kevin squeezed Justin’s ass. “Go make dinner.”
Dinner? Was there food in the house?
Leaving the room would mean leaving Kevin, leaving this bed and Kevin’s body. He couldn’t do that.
He was hesitating. Hesitation might be seen as disobedience. Realizing that temporarily moving away from Kevin to fulfill an order was better than being kicked out of Kevin’s life for disobeying, Justin kissed Kevin’s mouth and forced himself up.
“Remember to be nice to Jacob,” Nick told Joey.
“Why does it matter?” Joey asked.
“He’s Brian’s friend, and it matters to Brian, so it matters to me, so it matters to you,” Nick said.
Joey shrugged. “Okay.”
“Besides, with Justin choking him and AJ beating him up, it looks like we don’t like him, and Brian feels bad about that.”
“We don’t like him,” Joey said.
“You don’t like Jacob?” Ashley asked.
“Nobody likes Jacob,” Nick said.
“You don’t even know him,” Ashley said. “How can you dislike someone you’ve never spoken to?”
“So maybe we’ll get to know him tonight,” Nick said. “Maybe he’ll be terrific and we’ll fall in love with him. Brian must see something in him. Maybe we’ll figure out what it is.”
“Once you get to know Jacob, you’ll really like him,” Ashley assured them.
“Singing my praises again?” Jacob asked, walking over with Brian.
“You have so many great points, we were just trying to list them all,” Nick said.
“Yeah,” Jacob said. “I’m sure.”
He looked at Ashley. “You coming, Ash?”
“Um, uh, no,” Ashley said, taking a step back. “I’m not - - but you
have a great time, though.”
“We will,” Nick said. “Bartoli’s okay?” he asked Brian.
“Sounds good,” Brian said.
“Great,” Nick said. “See you, Angel.”
“Bye,” Ashley said, with that painful smile. “See you later.”
“Bye,” Jacob said.
Joey couldn’t decide if it would be worse to kiss Ashley or not kiss Ashley; he had to debate the effect both options would have on Ashley, and what he could get away with in front of Nick and other people. He settled on murmuring a quiet, “Bye, pretty,” and kissing Ashley’s cheek on the way past. He hoped that it would be some consolation.
Naked, Justin scurried around the kitchen. To his immense relief, it was well-stocked with fresh food.
Had Kevin bought this food?
Justin wasn’t a great chef, and his need to please Kevin made him nervous. He’d cooked for Kevin before, with varying results. As memory-inspired guilt, lust, and shame twisted his stomach, Justin tried to cook quickly, quietly, and well.
On the way to the restaurant, Nick stopped at a red light. Brian’s car was right behind them. Casually, he put his hand on Joey’s headrest, leaning across the space between their seats, murmuring in Joey’s ear. “You think they’re watching?”
“I hope no one else is,” Joey said, looking at the traffic around them.
“Relax, I won’t kiss you,” Nick said. His voice softened, slowing seductively. “But you are kind of sexy in this light.”
Joey glanced at him, then grinned. “I know.”
Nick chuckled.
“I’m going to dinner with Jacob Underwood,” Joey said. “I hope that he gets food poisoning.”
“We aren’t that lucky,” Nick said. The light changed; he sat back, driving on.
As Justin checked the flame on the rice, he heard the sound of the shower.
Kevin was taking a shower.
Kevin… Naked… The water pouring down, streaming over chiseled features, caressing firm muscle… Justin, on his knees, running his hands over hard, water-slick thighs, lips parting as-
Shit! The rice!
Jacob had already spent his afternoon with the astroposer. He didn’t want to spend his evening with Ashley’s boyfriend and Ashley’s boyfriend’s boyfriend. How was he going to get through it? He knew himself, he knew that he’d end up in a confrontation. He didn’t want to fight with Brian’s friends, but, damn, he had limits, and these fuckers pushed all of his buttons.
Joey had a boyfriend, and still chose to seduce Ashley. Fuck Ashley. Without being subtle or discreet. Exposing Ashley to embarrassment and humiliation and assholes like AJ. Treating Ashley like a whore without facing any consequences.
Why would Nick stay with someone like that, unless Nick was an immoral user, too?
“We don’t have to do this,” Brian said.
“What?” he asked, reverie broken.
“If you really don’t want to have dinner with Nick and Joey, we can go back to your place, or eat somewhere else without them,” Brian said.
That was an extremely tempting offer. But Jacob had agreed to go, and he wouldn’t back out on his word. Besides, Brian wanted to go, and maybe this would be a chance to figure out who Nick and Joey really were and what they wanted with Ashley. “It’s okay.”
“We won’t stay too late,” Brian said. “And we’ll make them pay.”
Jacob smiled at him. “Okay.”
Carefully, Justin filled two plates. He didn’t know whether Kevin wanted to eat in the kitchen or the bedroom, but there weren’t a lot of fancy table-setting things around, anyway. He set out silverware. There was nothing to drink but tap water; he put some in the freezer for a few minutes so that at least it would be chilled.
Kevin came down the hallway and into the kitchen. Wearing jeans and a T-shirt, he carried a duffel bag. “Are you finished yet?”
Justin opened his mouth to reply, then remembered just in time. Closing his mouth, he nodded.
Kevin smiled. It was a very pleased smile. It made Justin’s heart beat faster. “You can talk.”
“Thank you,” Justin said. “Yes, I’m finished, there’s rice, and-”
“Good.” Picking up a fork, Kevin stood by the table, sampling the food. He was dressed. He had shoes on. He had a bag. Justin didn’t like that.
Anxious, Justin watched Kevin’s face, mentally crossing his fingers. Was it too salty? Had it cooled off?
“Not bad,” Kevin said, setting down his fork. “Justin.”
Justin knew that tone of voice. He looked directly into Kevin’s eyes, listening with great attention.
“AJ says that you’ve been doing well. I can see that you’re trying to learn.”
Kevin’s knuckles brushed casually over Justin’s bare chest. His breath stuttered at the intimate contact.
“If you’re good, we can do this again.”
Really? Justin’s eyes widened; his heart raced eagerly. “I’ll be good,” he promised, putting both hands on Kevin’s waist. “I’ll be good,” he repeated, as his hands slid upward. “I’ll obey you, I’ll always obey you. I’ll listen to AJ, I’ll do whatever he wants.”
“Good.” Kevin kissed him, and Justin didn’t want Kevin to leave, and Kevin’s hands were warm on his naked flesh. “Behave yourself.”
“I love you,” Justin whispered. He was clutching at Kevin, and he knew that Kevin wouldn’t like that, but he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t let go. “I love you.” He gazed into Kevin’s eyes and they were green and Justin was on the verge of tears. “I’ve missed you so much-” His words were cut off by a slow, consuming kiss. Kevin held him close and stroked his skin and made him shiver with desire, made him whimper. His heart was racing, and his mouth was Kevin’s, and when Kevin eased away, Justin whispered, “I love you,” like it was new.
“Good-bye, Justin,” Kevin said quietly.
No. No, no! “Kevin-”
One look silenced him.
Suffering, clutching at a chair for support, Justin watched Kevin leave. The garage door went up. An engine started. The garage door went down.
Wiping away fresh tears, Justin didn’t let himself sink to the floor. He wanted to double over and close in around the loss inside. But he wouldn’t give in to that urge.
Kevin would be back.
Kevin would come for him again.
He’d be good. He’d obey. He’d do whatever AJ wanted. And Kevin would come for him. They’d be together again.
Just like today.
They’d make love. He’d have time, hours, with Kevin. He’d have Kevin all to himself. He’d have all of Kevin’s attention. He could express his love. He could demonstrate his obedience. He could prove that no one loved Kevin like he did.
Kevin had come for him.
His skin burned with the memory of Kevin’s kiss, Kevin’s touch. His body ached at the memory of Kevin’s flesh.
The four of them were shown to a private room and sat at a round table, Jacob between Brian and Joey, across from Nick.
Joey politely dismissed the waiter, and as soon as he was gone, Nick leaned towards Brian. “Have you seen AJ?”
“No,” Brian said. “I talked to him, but I haven’t seen him. He sounds great, he sounds so happy.”
“He looks great,” Nick said. “Doesn’t he look great?” he asked Joey.
“I think AJ always looks pretty good,” Joey said.
“You would,” Nick said, and went back to Brian. “He came over, he wanted us to do a favor for him. He was on top of the fucking world. He’s a totally different person now that Justin’s back.”
“He actually left Justin and went over to your house?” Brian asked. “I thought he’d be holed up with Justin for weeks.”
“I’m sure he will be,” Nick said. “He wasn’t there long, not even five minutes. He just had something he wanted us to do for him.”
“You can tell him what it is,” Joey said. “It’s not a secret what that sleazy fucker tried to pull.”
Sleazy fucker? Jacob was truly surprised. Joey could call AJ that in front of Nick and Brian?
“Which sleazy fucker?” Brian asked, puzzled.
“Dan,” Nick said.
“Dan?” Jacob asked, now stunned. Immediately defensive, he asked, “What’s your problem with Dan?”
“Are you kidding?” Joey asked, pissed off and disbelieving. “Do you-”
“Hey,” Brian said, his voice calm but his expression firm as he looked at Nick and Joey. “Dan is one of Jacob’s closest friends.”
“You need better friends,” Nick told Jacob.
Beneath the table, Brian put a calming hand on Jacob’s thigh. “What did AJ ask you to do?” he asked Nick. His hand left Jacob’s leg, and Jacob missed his touch.
“Justin’s been wearing this bracelet,” Joey said. “A cheap, gaudy thing. Turns out, Dan gave it to him.”
“Dan gave Justin a bracelet?” Brian asked.
“Dan wouldn’t buy Justin jewelry,” Jacob said.
“You sure about that?” Joey asked, in the tone of someone who knew better.
Jacob’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t appreciate Joey’s attitude, and he didn’t like hearing this information third-hand. “Why would Dan buy Justin a bracelet?”
“To get in his pants,” Joey said shortly.
“I know that it’s tempting to see it that way,” Brian admitted, “but Dan’s straight.”
“Why he did it, that’s up to him, but he did it,” Nick said. “Dan gave Justin a bracelet, Justin got back together with AJ, and AJ’s boyfriend doesn’t wear another man’s gifts. So AJ gave it to us and we gave it back to Dan.”
“Dan’s okay with that?” Brian asked.
“No, he acted like-”
“No,” Nick said, cutting off Joey. “He was all, ‘I’m Justin’s friend, if you were Justin’s friend you’d care more, no one cares like I care, I’m the best friend Justin’s ever had.’”
“In front of you?” Brian asked Joey, like he wanted to laugh.
“Yeah,” Joey said, sitting back. “I guess I’m just not that close to Justin. I’ve only known him for half of his life. Dan shows up and knows what’s best for Justin two weeks into it.”
“If Dan knew Justin, he’d know who Justin’s real friends are,” Brian said.
“I was actually hoping that you’d have some answers,” Nick said to Jacob. “I was going to ask you why Dan gave Justin a bracelet, but since you’re asking us…”
“Dan’s a generous guy,” Jacob said. “But he isn’t into flashy gifts.” He couldn’t wait to get home and pry some answers out of Dan. A bracelet? Dan gave jewelry to girlfriends, not to fucked-up pop stars. Jacob wondered how much it had cost.
“Was it expensive?” Brian asked.
“Not my style,” Nick said.
“I don’t know how much emeralds go for these days,” Joey said.
That had Jacob’s attention. “Real emeralds?”
“Looked real to me,” Nick said.
Shit.
“It’s not the bracelet that bothers me,” Nick said. “I’m okay with Dan passing out gifts to his friends. But the timing’s fucked up, and that gets to me. AJ and Justin are together, Dan shows up, Justin dumps AJ, Justin’s wearing Dan’s jewelry, Dan’s all over Justin’s life…”
“And then he has an attitude when we try to give it back to him, like AJ should be okay with Justin wearing Dan’s bracelet,” Joey said.
“Oh, what do you know?” Nick asked. “You don’t care about Justin the way Dan does.”
“Sorry, you’re right,” Joey said, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Dan is the world’s authority on JT. I’ve been his best friend under intense conditions for years, but obviously, I don’t give a shit about him.”
“I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that,” Brian said.
“Dan is the only friend that Justin has,” Joey said. “Dan told us so, himself.”
“I guess no one else in Justin’s life counts,” Nick said. “You’d better tell JC.”
Brian looked like he wanted to speak up in Dan’s defense, but he had nothing to say. “Maybe we should order. Jacob, what do you want?”
What Jacob wanted was to ask Dan what the hell was going on. He wanted to know why he was hearing all of this for the first time from Nick and Joey, and not from Dan. He wanted to know what else they knew that he didn’t.
Dan held his phone in both hands, willing it to ring.
Was Justin okay? Was Justin staying strong? Was Justin standing up for himself? What was AJ doing to him? What ideas was AJ putting in his head? What damage was AJ doing to his self-image, to his body, to his heart?
AJ would slip up and show his true colors sooner or later, and when that happened, Dan had to be available. Dan had to be ready when Justin tried to contact him. AJ wouldn’t want to let Justin go, but Justin could trust Dan, Justin knew that.
*NSYNC wouldn’t do anything, they wouldn’t help Justin. They hadn’t done a thing for Justin before; if Justin went to them for help now, they’d probably just send him right back to AJ. But Justin could go to Dan. Justin knew that. Dan had to count on that.
Would Justin be okay after this? Justin had been so upset before, and that last scene in AJ’s house hadn’t been good. What would it be like this time around? After going back to AJ, after beginning to recover and then going back into it, Justin would be devastated this time.
Dan had been making progress with Justin, but he wasn’t a trained therapist. If Justin came back traumatized, and Dan wasn’t prepared for it…
The longer AJ kept Justin, the worse it would be. Dan couldn’t even get information to Justin; no one would help him. Not even the rest of *NSYNC. He’d tried to talk to Chris, but that hadn’t gotten him anywhere, and he’d counted on Chris being the most sympathetic.
He hadn’t counted on Joey - - Dan cut that train of thought off with a deep breath. He couldn’t do anything about that now. But that encounter downstairs had proven to him that Justin’s “friends” couldn’t be trusted to act in Justin’s best interests.
Anyone who could witness Justin’s devastation, anyone who could see for himself how traumatized Justin was, and then arrogantly, callously - - it was criminal. It was fucking criminal. And it convinced Dan that if he wanted to help Justin, he’d have to do it alone. Chris and Joey wouldn’t help, and he didn’t hold out much hope for JC or Lance, at this point.
How could he get word to Justin? How could he get in contact? How could he let Justin know that Justin could come to him?
He couldn’t call. He didn’t dare. If he tried to contact Justin in an obvious way, AJ would find out - - AJ was too controlling not to find out - - and then AJ would follow through on that threat, and Justin would never trust Dan again.
Dan had learned, the hard way, that AJ didn’t make idle threats.
Dan had fucked up. He’d fucked up, and Justin was paying for it, and he couldn’t do one damned thing about it.
All he could do was wait.
Wait for the phone to ring.
Wait for the chime of the doorbell.
Wait for Justin to come to him.
It had happened before.
It would happen again.
It had to.
It had to.
“Come on, Justin,” Dan whispered, staring at his phone. “You know he’s bad for you. You know you’re stronger than that. I can help you. You can get through this. Just call me,” damn it, “call me.”
Kevin was gone. From a practical standpoint, Justin had a few problems.
There were no phones in the house. Justin had left his cell phone at AJ’s place.
He didn’t have a car. None of his friends knew where he was.
He didn’t have any clothes. He’d walked out of AJ’s house in underwear and a T-shirt, which he’d left in the car. He’d walked into this house in jeans, which had vanished, and a mesh shirt, which was torn and stained with cum.
He couldn’t leave the house naked and knock on doors, asking for help.
For the moment, he had food, water, a bed, and a toilet. He wouldn’t starve. But he didn’t know where he was. And he didn’t know how to get home.
He ate the dinner he’d made for Kevin. Kevin had said, “Not bad.” He’d satisfied Kevin; he’d do better next time.
He crawled back into the bed, burrowing in where Kevin had lain.