"Sucker"

Sucker

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Continued from part fifty...

Joey’s bed was big enough for all four of them to sit on. While Joey and Nick described their sexual history with Ashley in graphic detail, JC squeezed Howie’s hand for support and did his best not to scream.

Chris had finally coaxed Jacob into real laughter when there was a soft tap at the open door. “Jacob?” Ashley asked, entering with a few tentative steps.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jacob told Ashley. Chris began to slip off of the bed, to give them privacy, but Jacob’s hand latched around his wrist and kept him there. Chris was so disturbed by Jacob’s touch that he missed the rest of their exchange, but Jacob’s voice sharpened and Ashley left.

“He’s very nice,” Chris said.

Jacob’s hand unwrapped itself, releasing Chris. “He’s degrading himself.”

“He’s in love,” Chris said. He resisted the urge to rub his wrist. “People in love do stupid things. Love does stupid things to people.”

“Love does stupid things to stupid people,” Jacob said.

“You’re kind of judgmental,” Chris said. “Has anyone ever told you that?”

Jacob gave him a shrug and half of a smile. “I am who I am. If you don’t like it, don’t deal with me.”

Justin opened the front door. Uh-oh. “Rehearsal didn’t go well,” he guessed, letting Dan into the house. Dan hadn’t even changed out of yesterday’s clothes.

“I need to hit something,” Dan said. “Something very solid.”

“We can work out,” Justin suggested, wanting to be helpful to Dan since Dan always helped him. “You can use the heavy bag.”

“Good.” Dan started off in that direction.

Justin considered suggesting that Dan change first, but decided not to bother Dan with details. Clearly, things were not going well at the Townhouse.

Justin had mixed feelings about the group fight. He hated seeing Dan upset, and he wanted things to be better, for Dan’s sake. On the other hand, any kind of unrest and disruption in the lives of the other four, well, that was just great. He couldn’t rejoice over watching everything go downhill, because it was really hard on Dan; but he couldn’t honestly want everything to be happy again, because he liked thinking that Trevor’s life was shit.

He wished that Dan and Trevor weren’t best friends.

He walked into the weight room to see Dan punching the hell out of the bag.

Maybe they wouldn’t be best friends for much longer.

Lance felt like shit. Emotionally. Physically. He had no energy. He had no interest. He’d stayed in bed too long, until memories of Jacob, feelings of shame, invaded. Since then, he’d spent his morning not calling Howie, not calling Brian, not calling Joey or JC or Justin or Chris.

He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He didn’t know why he still loved Howie. He didn’t know why he cared so damned much about what happened to Jacob. He didn’t know why he’d gotten himself into this disaster in the first place. He didn’t know why he’d dragged everyone else in after him. He didn’t know what he wanted from Brian.

When the doorbell rang, Lance almost ignored it. Did it matter who it was? If he answered it, he’d snap back into jackass mode and fuck up something new. As long as he didn’t go near anyone, maybe he could keep himself from turning into someone mean and nasty and confrontational and-

But Howie liked him confrontational. At least, Howie had said so. Then again, Howie had said a lot of things that had turned out to be lies.

He checked the peephole.

It was Brian.

If he didn’t talk to Brian, if he refused to deal with Brian, then maybe Brian would leave and Backstreet would abandon the game.

Then Howie would disappear from his life again.

But maybe that would be for the best.

Lance waited and, eventually, everything was silent. Brian must have gone. He-

The doorbell rang again.

Brian was still outside.

No one else wanted to love him. He was pretty sure that his friends’ lives would be easier if they didn’t actually care about him. Howie couldn’t even pretend to care for more than a few hours at a time. He’d rejected Brian, he’d denied Brian, and Brian was still coming around, knocking on his door, asking to be let in.

He opened the door.

Without a word, Brian hugged him. A warm, solid hug.

Lance would always wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t given in.

“Hey.” Trevor appeared in Jacob’s doorway. “Now that I finally have Chris back, he can’t spend every second with you.”

“Sorry,” Chris said to Jacob. “Gotta go.”

“I don’t know why you two are friends,” Trevor said, as Chris got off of the bed.

“We have a lot in common,” Jacob said.

“We’re both absurdly sexy,” Chris said.

“Absurdly sexy?” Jacob asked.

“Or, just absurd,” Chris said, joining Trevor at the door. “Catch you later.”

“See you,” Jacob said.

“I knew you’d be upset,” Brian said.

“I’m not upset,” Lance said, pulling away from him.

“You look awful,” Brian said, gazing at him with concern.

“I look fine,” Lance said, walking into the living room, sitting on the sofa. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t even want to think about it. He’d let that filthy, mangy motherfucker climb on top of him and fuck him. The thought of it made him sick.

“Your nose is swollen,” Brian said, sitting beside him. “What happened?”

“We got into a fight,” Lance said. “It’s fine. It’s done, it’s over. He fucked me. He said he’s finished with me.”

“You had a fight?” Brian asked, wide-eyed with concern, reaching for Lance’s face.

Lance pulled back, ducking Brian’s hand. “I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry,” Brian said, lowering his hand. “I knew that this would be hard for you. I knew that it went against everything-”

“It’s not a big deal,” Lance said. He didn’t need pity. “It was just sex. I’ve done it before. He’s terrible, it was the worst fuck of my life, but I’m fine.” It had been the exact opposite of Howie. There had been no caring behind it, no respect; it had been rude and bitter, like a punishment that they’d both had to take.

“If he’s really finished, you won’t have to go through it again.” Brian’s voice was quiet, like he knew that Lance didn’t want to talk to him. “Do you think that he meant it?”

“He doesn’t want to have anything to do with me,” Lance said. A twist of a smile. “The feeling’s mutual.”

“I guess it’s my turn, now.”

The muted note of reluctance in Brian’s voice made Lance look at him. “I had to do it. You can do it.”

“It’s easier for you,” Brian said.

What the fuck? “I-”

“Lance, you get to be openly hostile with Jacob,” Brian said. “You can be as mean to him as you want. I have to coo at him and pretend to be in love with him. It’s not just fucking, I have to make love with him and be good to him and act like - - I have to show him the affection that I feel for you. Do you know how hard that is? To pretend to have feelings for him that I really have for you? To love someone who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about me, and have to pretend to love someone I can’t fucking stand? You make my heart pound and my palms sweat and my body ache. He makes my head itch! He makes me want to - - I have to make love to that thing?”

Brian looked so disgusted and horrified, Lance had to admit, it sounded terrible. “When he was fucking me, the first time, I started laughing. He got pissed at me. He was so offended and furious, it was hilarious.”

“Really?” Brian smiled, intrigued. “What happened?”

“He spat at me.” Lance rolled his eyes. “Very classy.”

“He spat at you?” Brian was shocked. “What’d you do?”

“That’s when we started fighting.”

“I’ve been in here before,” Chris said, stepping into Trevor’s room.

“Make yourself at home,” Trevor said, sitting on the bed.

“So.” Chris wandered around, picking up things, opening drawers, touching the clothes hanging in the closet. “Everything seems to be falling apart around here.”

“Yeah, I noticed that.” Trevor groaned, dropping onto his back. “Did Jacob tell you why he and Erik were fighting?”

“He said that it wasn’t Erik’s fault,” Chris said.

Trevor raised his eyebrows. “Jacob said that?”

“He was in a bad mood, and he took it out on Erik.” Chris sat beside Trevor on the bed, rubbing his stomach. “That happens.”

“Yeah.” Trevor sighed, sitting up again. Chris’s hand rested on his thigh. “I love that you’re back and I love that you’re here and I want to be excited about it, I’m very excited about it, I just - - this whole fight thing is fucking up my happy vibe.”

“That’s okay. I know you’re happy to be with me.” Chris loved how expressive Trevor’s face was. It showed everything he felt. “I wish that you could be just happy and not fucked-up and unvibed, but I can’t fix that.”

“What really got me, is Dan left,” Trevor said. “He walked out. Dan just walked out on us. He’s not like that, he’s never done that, Dan would never just walk out of the house. But Erik-Michael said something that pissed him off, and he was just gone.” Trevor shook his head, frowning, anxious. “That’s Jacob, that’s not Dan.”

“He’ll be back,” Chris said.

“I know he’ll be back,” Trevor said. “I just wish he hadn’t left in the first place. Dan’s always solid and reliable. If that’s changing, if I can’t depend on Dan, I don’t know what I have left. He’s our foundation. This group is my foundation.”

Chris hugged him, because he looked like he needed a hug. “I want to help, but I don’t know what I can do.”

“This helps,” Trevor said, embracing him. “This helps a lot.”

“I guess that’s everything,” Nick said, glancing at Joey for confirmation. “Was that enough?” he asked Howie.

“I think so,” Howie said. Vaguely, JC was aware of Howie’s gaze turning on him briefly. “Thanks for helping us out.”

“No problem,” Joey said. Howie began to leave the bed, and since he held JC’s hand, he tugged slightly, to guide JC into motion. “I’ll walk you out,” Joey said, rising.

“JC,” Howie said quietly.

JC couldn’t take his eyes off of Nick. He knew that Nick had sex with other people, he knew that, he’d never for a second thought otherwise, but to hear it straight from Nick’s mouth, to hear the words roll glibly from Nick’s tongue, to hear the explicit details of it in casual, matter-of-fact tones…

Nick watched him right back, with bland curiosity.

Nick spoke of fucking Ashley with words that were degrading because they were used carelessly. He talked about Ashley like that because Ashley meant nothing to him, absolutely nothing. He talked about Ashley like that because Ashley was his target. JC had been his target once, too. Had Nick talked about him like that? Did Nick still talk about him like that? Like he wasn’t even a real person with real emotions and real worth? Like he was just a body, just an object? Of course Nick thought that Ashley was less than equal; of course Nick thought that JC was less than equal.

JC had heard Nick talk about casual fucks before, in similar terms. But those were simply casual fucks, meaningless, nothing more than an interesting way to get off. He didn’t care if Nick talked about Ashley that way; the bitch didn’t deserve better. But JC hadn’t been just a casual fuck. All of that time together, all of those moments and memories, everything they’d shared, everything he’d given… Was he no different from Ashley, in Nick’s eyes?

The way he thought about Ashley, was that how Backstreet thought about him?

Slowly, though it was torture even then to look away from Nick, JC slid his gaze to Howie.

Howie’s gaze was patient. Understanding. Quietly sweet, empathic and encouraging. “Let’s go,” Howie said, softly.

Howie didn’t see him that way. Howie saw who he really was, the good and the bad.

For a moment, it flashed across JC’s mind, the question, how did Howie see Lance? But he pushed away that thought. Howie and Lance’s relationship was none of his business. Out of respect for his friendship with Lance, for the sake of his partnership with Howie and his own sanity, he’d leave their relationship with each other alone.

This time, when Howie said his name, JC got off of the bed. He met Nick’s eyes again. “Good-bye.”

“Bye.”

Not even a “baby” tossed in there to soften the blow. But Nick called Ashley “Angel” every single time, without fail.

Joey and Howie were in the doorway. Nick remained on the bed. JC stood between the two.

“Did you get what you needed?” Nick asked, only mildly interested.

“Yeah,” JC said. “I learned a lot.”

Breathing heavily, Dan punched the bag again, again, again.

He’d always put the group first, he’d always put his personal needs and desires aside for the sake of the group, he’d always been dedicated, devoted, selfless. And now they were accusing him of putting himself first? Accusing him of abandoning them to AJ so he could, what, have sex with Justin? Accusing him of handing them over to AJ’s violent tendencies so that he could get laid?

He wasn’t having sex with Justin. He’d walked a careful line to avoid that very idea. He was having sex, not with someone he loved, not with someone he liked, not with someone he wanted: with someone he abhorred, with someone he despised, with someone cruel and selfish and crude and twisted, specifically to protect his friends. He didn’t expect them to know about his sacrifice, but he did expect them to know him a little better; he expected them to realize, after all of these years, that he’d always take care of them.

When had he ever not looked out for them?

Where was their loyalty? He hadn’t done a thing against them, he was helping Justin, helping them, and they attacked him.

The things that they’d said in the car.

The things that Erik had said to him, up in Erik’s room.

Erik had confessed to fucking not only his girlfriend, but also Ashley’s and Jacob’s. Erik was doing something that seemed very shady with JC and Howie. And Erik called him an immoral self-centered celebrity-obsessed sexually perverted hypocrite?

If there was one thing Dan never ever wanted to do again, for himself, it was fuck AJ.

If there was one thing that Dan could never do again, for the good of his relationship with Justin, it was fuck AJ.

What had been the point? To keep his friends safe? They could take care of themselves. AJ was a very serious danger to Justin, but the rest of the time he was just a bully. If the guys couldn’t handle that, maybe they needed to learn.

He’d been coddling people who didn’t even respect him. Who didn’t even seem to know him.

He couldn’t protect everyone. Justin needed him. The guys could protect themselves.

Panting, Dan stepped back, stripping out of his sweat-soaked shirt.

“You okay?” Justin asked, during the pause.

Dan flexed his fingers, testing his knuckles. “Yeah.” He looked across the room at Justin, who was sitting on the weight bench but hadn’t lifted one pound. “I’m sorry about this. I don’t want to bring more stress into your life. I don’t want to carry stress into your house with me.”

“No, it’s okay,” Justin said. “You should be able to come to me when things are good or bad. I might even be able to help, if you want to talk to me about it.”

“I can’t burden you with my problems,” Dan said.

“It’s not a burden,” Justin said. “It might even be good for me, to worry about someone besides myself.”

Dan’s phone rang from its place on the floor where he’d dropped it on entrance to the room. Reaching down for it, Dan answered. “It’s Miller Time.”

Justin smiled.

“Danny boy.”

AJ. Dan carefully slid his gaze away from Justin, looking at a patch of floor. “I don’t have time for this right now.” He also really, really wasn’t in the mood. He’d been having such a bad few days, the only person he trusted himself to speak to civilly was Justin.

“I miss Justin,” AJ said. “You have him. You have everything I need, and you’re going to give it to me. You’re going to fuck me, and-”

“No, I’m not.” Not again. “I made a mistake.”

A soft, dangerous hiss. “You’re making another one right now. If you don’t get your ass over here and climb balls-deep into my ass, I’m going to-”

“Fuck you,” Dan said, and hung up.

Justin’s gaze was concerned and curious. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, now,” Dan said. No more fucking AJ. He’d give AJ information, and AJ would give him advice. If AJ wasn’t satisfied with that, he’d deal with it. But there would be no more sex. He wasn’t going to let AJ jerk him around. “You want me to spot you?”

“Sure,” Justin said, but he still looked concerned. As Dan approached, Justin reached out, and Dan put a hand in his. One, two.

Dan answered: three, four.

“Tell me you’re okay,” Justin said, looking up at him. “Say it and mean it so I can believe you. Or else tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.”

“I’m okay,” Dan said. “I promise, I can take care of myself. You know me, you know I’ll be fine. I just need some space away from the guys to calm down, so when I go back I can patch things up instead of making them worse.”

Slowly, Justin released his hand. “I actually believed that,” he said, sounding surprised.

Dan gave him a smile, a small smile just for Justin.

Justin smiled back, a small smile, just for him.

Chris was in the middle of telling Trevor the joke about the horse, the pogo stick, and the candelabra, when his phone rang. “Hold that thought,” he said. “Kirkpatrick.”

“McLean,” AJ said. “Where are you?”

“In Penick’s bedroom,” Chris said.

“Where’s Estrada? In the house?”

“Yes,” Chris said.

“He’ll be there in the next half hour?”

“I think so,” Chris said.

“Good.” AJ hung up.

Chris tucked his phone away again. “Where was I?”

“The penguin knocked over the horse’s trough,” Trevor said.

“Right,” Chris said, and launched back into it.

When Lance explained about his fight with Jacob, Brian was offended on Lance’s behalf.

When Lance told him how horrible the sex had been, Brian was disgusted.

As they discussed their next steps in the plan, Brian grimaced and scratched his head a lot.

It was only after Lance scratched it for him that Brian began to relax.

When they said good-bye at the door, and Brian kissed him, Lance kissed back. They made out for a few minutes. When Brian began to get more assertive, Lance backed off, and Brian gave him a flushed, uncertain smile, and left.

Lance stretched.

The worst part of the game was over.

The fun was about to begin.

Ashley tapped at Jacob’s door.

There was no answer.

Breaking strict rules, Ashley cracked open the door, peeking inside.

Jacob was in bed. He had to be asleep, because Jacob never just huddled in bed like that, but…

Quietly, Ashley slipped into the room, closing the door again. Walking over, he sat down behind Jacob’s back. He risked getting a verbal evisceration, but he said, softly, “Jake,” and put his hand on Jacob’s ribcage through the covers.

Jacob didn’t respond.

Ashley lay behind him, keeping a hand on his back.

Getting out of his car, AJ removed his sunglasses, leaving them on the dash. He didn’t want them to get cracked.

There were four other people in the house, and Erik was practically alone. Fucking typical. They were all wrapped up in themselves, wrapped up in each other. He could be wrapped up in himself, too. Fine. Fuck it. He’d put himself first, care only about himself, and screw everyone else.

No, he’d put Howie and JC first. That was what Howie and JC wanted from him, anyway. And it fit, it fit the pattern. Dan put Justin first. Ashley put Joey first. Jacob put Brian first. Trevor put Chris and Kevin first. He was only doing what everyone else was doing.

He didn’t understand Howie and JC. He didn’t know what their problem was. Their separation, it didn’t make sense, it just didn’t work with everything else he knew. He had to be missing something, he had to be-

A soft, threatening snarl from behind him. “Estrada.”

Trevor heard a crash from downstairs. His first instinct was to make sure that everything was okay; then he realized that it was probably two of the guys getting into it again.

“You want to check it out?” Chris asked.

“No.” He knew that he should, he knew that, but he just didn’t have the heart to go through with it. Maybe he’d go down in a few minutes, or if he heard something else.

Ashley sat up, startled. “Did you hear that?”

Jacob didn’t move.

A splash. Voices. Nothing unusual. Probably just Chris and Trevor messing around in the pool.

He was way too tense. Ashley lay down again, telling himself-

An aborted scream.

When Ashley scrambled for the door, Jacob was right behind him.

JC slammed Howie’s front door shut, storming into the house.

“Use this,” Howie said. “I know how upset you are, but channel it.”

“That bitch,” JC seethed, pacing into the living room and out again. “That bitch, that little bitch, that cum-covered cunt.”

“Focus it,” Howie said. “Let it motivate you. Let your anger drive you in the right direction.”

“I can’t, I can’t even think straight,” JC said, pacing the hallway, furious, frustrated, emotions seething inside. “I don’t know which direction to go in, I just know I want to explain to that whorish little bitch exactly what’s wrong with him while I carve his face into tiny little pieces.”

“Look at me,” Howie said, catching his hand. “Look at me.”

While hatred and rage rioted inside, JC managed to train his gaze on Howie’s face for a few seconds.

“I’m Ashley,” Howie said.

“What?” JC asked, truly distracted, really not sure that he was hearing correctly.

“I’m Ashley,” Howie said. “What do you want to say to me?”

“I can’t do this now,” JC said, shaking his head, pulling away.

“I’m Ashley,” Howie insisted. “I say I’m in love with your best friend, but every chance I get, I’m rolling over and begging for your former lover. You must have something to say to me.”

Oh, he had something to say to Ashley, he had plenty to say to Ashley, starting with, “You worthless delusional vapid whoring bitch!”

“I’m not a whore,” Howie said, looking wounded yet defiant. “I’m in love with Joey, and he loves me, I know he does, he-”

“Joey will never, could never, love a weak little bitch like you,” JC snapped, enraged, pointing his finger in Howie’s face. “You don’t have a fucking clue who the hell Joey even is. Joey’s not in love with you, bitch, and Joey’s not in love with Nick. Joey’s in love with AJ, someone who’s strong, someone who’s independent, someone who can think for himself, someone who’s a grown man and not a little girl playing dress-up!”

“Joey loves me,” Howie insisted. “He loves who I am, and he loves how I look. That’s why he calls me ‘pretty,’ because-”

“He calls you ‘pretty’ because half the time he forgets what the hell your name is, and the rest of the time, he doesn’t care! Joey doesn’t care about you! No one cares about you!”

“Joey’s going to leave Nick for me,” Howie said. “He will, I know he will, I just-”

“No one,” JC said, clenching his fists so hard it hurt, “would ever, ever, leave Nick for you. No one would leave Nick for anyone or for anything. You blind, delusional bitch!”

“I’m prettier than Nick is,” Howie said. “I love Joey more. I’m better for him.”

JC wanted to slam the bitch to the ground and - - “I can’t do this,” he told Howie, turning away, pressing his fingers to his forehead, trying to take just one clear breath. “I can’t yell at you like this, I can’t - - I’m about to punch you in the face and-”

“Nick fucks me,” Howie said. “He fucks me all of the time, he loves it. I’m in love with someone else, but when he’s in me, I scream for it. Too bad he won’t give it to you anymore. I can get it whenever I want it, and I don’t even like him.”

JC saw red.

Chris followed Trevor down the stairs and through the house, arriving just in time to see Ashley and Jacob haul Erik out of the pool. Apparently, he’d gone swimming with all of his clothes on.

“What the hell happened?” Jacob demanded, as Erik stood there, soaking wet and coughing.

“What the hell does it look like?” Erik was furious. “AJ just fucking tried to kill me!”

“AJ?” Trevor asked, shocked.

“You let him in?” Ashley asked.

“No! I turned around and he was in our fucking kitchen!”

“How’d he get into the house?” Jacob demanded.

“What’d he do to you?” Trevor asked.

“What’d he say to you?” Ashley asked, wide-eyed.

“Somebody call Dan,” Erik said. His hands and voice shook, with outrage and residual fear. “I’m not getting mindfucked and drowned in my own house by someone who should be out for his blood, not mine. Tell him to get his ass out of Justin’s bed and over here, now.”

JC cursed. Threatened. Yelled. Ripped apart, with vicious cruelty, every aspect of Ashley’s appearance, personality, and lifestyle. He ruthlessly tore into Ashley’s sexual habits, professional flaws, and complete lack of backbone.

By the time he was done, he was red-faced, panting, sweating, gesturing wildly, and staring into Howie’s eyes like a man possessed. Howie, after putting up weak, scared, Ashley protests, had been backed against the arm of the sofa and now was looking at JC with eyes wide with desperate, innocent fear.

The innocence there infuriated JC, and another attack burst from him. How dare the little bitch beg for dick and bathe in cum and then fake such innocence? How dare the bitch try to tear apart what was supposed to be a good relationship and then pretend to be so damned harmless? It was a nice touch, the perfect flourish to complete the picture of Ashley’s ultimate perfection, but JC didn’t buy it for one fucking second. It was fake, it had to be fake, no one was that damned sweet without something sick behind it. And if it was real, if Ashley was that damned stupid and that damned weak, then he’d better hand in his training bra and climb back into the safety of his playpen or his mother’s arms, like the little girl that he was.

Joey would never love him. Joey would never like him, Joey would never even respect him.

“Nick likes me,” Howie-Ashley said, scared but brave. “Nick wants me. He makes love to me and he calls me ‘Angel,’ I’m his Angel, he wants me. You’re saying these things to me because you’re jealous, because you know that I’m better, because you know-”

“You fucking bitch!” JC-

Howie caught JC’s wrist in mid-air, inches from Howie’s face.

Horrified, JC stared at Howie, realizing.

Howie smiled. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

Halfway through the set, Dan’s phone rang.

He ignored it, standing behind Justin, counting for him.

It rang again.

“You can,” Justin panted, “get that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dan said. It was probably AJ. If it wasn’t AJ, it was one of the guys. He needed time away from all of them, time away from those situations, time just to himself. He needed a break. “Come on, five more.”

“Fuck,” Justin breathed heavily, “you,” and he lifted the bar again.

Dan’s phone rang.

“Just answer it,” Justin said.

“I’ll turn it off,” Dan said.

“Answer it,” Justin said, completing his fifth rep.

“Two more,” Dan said.

“Fuck you, I did five,” Justin said.

“Come on, you can do it,” Dan said.

Justin closed his eyes, grunting, and did two more.

Dan’s phone rang.

“Answer the damned phone,” Justin said, eyes opening.

Dan helped him to return the bar. “Start your crunches and I’ll be right there,” he said, going over to his phone. While Justin muttered disparaging things about him, he checked his messages.

“We need you at the house,” Ashley said. “AJ was just here, he came after Erik.”

“Dan, oh my god, you have to come home,” Trevor said. “AJ broke into our house, we just had to get Erik out of the pool, I don’t know what AJ did to him but he’s losing it.”

“Either come home,” Jacob said, “or answer the phone and tell us why Justin is more important to you than we are.”

“Danny boy,” AJ murmured. “You didn’t tell me that Estrada was a screamer.”

“Shit,” Dan whispered. Fuck, fuck.

“What’s wrong?” Justin asked, sitting up from where he’d been lying on the weight bench.

Dan closed his eyes. He’d done this. It was his fault. It wasn’t his fault, it was AJ’s fault, but it was still his responsibility. He’d been immature and reactionary, he’d let his pride get the best of him, and now everything was worse. The guys were upset, and AJ had one more victory.

“Dan,” Justin said.

“I need you to come home with me,” Dan said, opening his eyes. “I have to go home, and I want you to come with me.”

“What happened?” Justin asked, rising, concerned.

“I don’t have any details, but AJ went to my house, and he assaulted Erik. I have to go home, and I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“AJ attacked Erik?” Justin asked, stunned. “Why? What’s…”

“I’m going to take care of it,” Dan said. “I don’t want you to worry about it.”

“I don’t want you to worry about me,” Justin said. “Go home, you should check on Erik.”

“I want you to come with me,” Dan said.

“If I’m there, it’ll be weird, it’ll be awkward, it’ll - - I’ll be in the way, and I’m too close to AJ, and you’ll be busy protecting me, and - - I’ll be fine here. I’ll be fine. I’ll call one of the guys, I’ll go visit somebody. I’ll be okay.”

“I don’t want you to be alone,” Dan said. Not with AJ on the loose.

“I won’t be alone,” Justin said.

“Call someone now,” Dan said. “Go to JC’s house or Joey’s or Chris’s or Lance’s or anyone’s. Don’t be alone, and don’t stay here.”

“Stop being so damned scared for me and just go check on Erik,” Justin said. “I’ll call, I’ll call right now,” he added, ushering Dan from the room.

“I have some things to take care of,” Dan said, pulling his shirt on again as they walked to the front door. “But call me if you need anything. And call someone, go visit someone, I mean it.”

“I will,” Justin said. “I promise. And I’ll call you.”

“I’d feel so much better if you came with me,” Dan said, hugging him.

“It would only make things more complicated,” Justin said, embracing him tightly. “You don’t need that right now.”

He couldn’t believe that this was happening. “I love you,” he told Justin. “Take care of yourself.”

Justin let go of him, backing up. “Take care of yourself,” Justin instructed, squeezing his hand twice.

Dan squeezed back. If only it were that simple.

“I’m sorry,” JC said, flooded with guilt. “I don’t know what happened to me, I lost control, I-”

“You did what I wanted you to do,” Howie said.

“I was screaming at you,” JC argued.

“You didn’t say a word of it to me,” Howie said. “It was all for Ashley.”

“He’s a worthless whore,” JC said. “He’s a trained animal. He’ll never be able to offer anything other than sex. Nick could never want that. Nick needs much more than that, deserves-”

“You want to destroy Ashley,” Howie said. “You want to hurt him. You want to show him, you need him to see, how worthless and pathetic and unworthy he is.”

“Yes,” JC said.

“You can’t,” Howie said. “You can’t touch Ashley, not now. Joey can, Nick will, they’ll take care of it. All you can do is direct all of that hatred, all of that poison, on Erik. Ashley’s best friend. The best friend Ashley confides in and shares with and works with and plays with and lives with. It would rip Ashley up to see Erik devastated. And, always remember, as much as you need to see Joey ruin Ashley, Lance needs to see you ruin Erik. Lance is counting on you, the same way you’re counting on Joey. If Erik gets away with it, if Ashley gets away with it, would you be able to live with that?”

“No,” JC said. Ashley couldn’t have Nick and walk away unscarred. Not that bitch.

“You transferred your hatred for Ashley onto me in seconds,” Howie said. “You’re so angry, you’re so filled with so much venom, that you can pour it out on anyone who’s in the room. Transfer it to Erik. Whenever you think of Ashley, think of Erik. Whenever you think of Ashley in Nick’s bed, think of Erik. Whenever you hear ‘Angel,’ think ‘Erik-Michael.’”

Ashley in Nick’s bed.

Erik in Howie’s bed.

Taking it for granted. Still expressing obvious interest in, and desire for, someone else. Not appreciating the great wealth, the undeserved treasure.

He remembered Lance’s outrage after the dinner with Erik.

Remembered understanding every word of Lance’s anger, every expression of Lance’s pain.

Ashley was Erik. Erik was Ashley.

That bitch.

Justin passed his phone from one hand to the other.

Dan really was kind of hot. Shirtless, sweaty, with that determined expression…

Justin stopped licking his lips and looked at his phone. He had to call someone. Maybe Chris. He-

The doorbell rang.

Justin opened the door.

AJ grabbed his hand, pulling him outside. “We’re going dancing.”

Dan hurried into the house. “Erik-Michael?”

“They’re up in his room,” Chris said from the living room.

“Thanks.” Dan ran up the stairs. “Erik? What happened?”

“Your lover’s ex-boyfriend tried to drown him,” Jacob said.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Erik said, sitting on his bed, his knees up under his chin. He was looking at some point just beyond his own feet. Ashley was right at his side, rubbing a hand up and down his back; Trevor was near his other side, eyes wide and wounded; Jacob was on the foot of the bed, his expression accusatory as he looked at Dan.

            “I’m so sorry,” Dan said, taking up the only unoccupied inch of the bed. “Are you okay?” He didn’t look that good; his color was bad, and he was blinking too often, chewing on his lips.

            “He’s okay,” Ashley said, when Erik didn’t answer. Ashley’s voice was quiet, empathetic but reassuring. “AJ just said a lot of nasty things and threw him in the pool.”

            “He finally made his way around to each one of us,” Jacob said. “I guess now he’ll start at the top of the list again.”

            “AJ scared the shit out of me,” Ashley said. “I swear, I almost wet myself.”

“My fight with him wasn’t that bad,” Trevor said. “It kind of freaked me out to swing at AJ McLean, but-”

“Backstreet Boys can be sick motherfuckers, too,” Erik said. “Surprise.”

“I’m so sorry,” Dan said. “What can I do?”

“You can get him the fuck off our backs,” Jacob said. “If that means dropping Justin, then that’s what it takes.”

“That’s not fair,” Trevor said.

“I don’t know,” Ashley said. His gaze was hesitant, but his voice wasn’t. “From what I’ve heard, we didn’t know the full story on AJ and Justin’s relationship. It doesn’t sound like Justin needed to be rescued. Really, what it sounds like, is that Dan jumped in with both feet where he didn’t belong.”

“Where’d you hear that?” Dan asked.

“From everyone,” Ashley said. “Joey, Nick, JC, Howie… They were pretty much saying that when it comes to AJ, Justin gives as good as he gets. That’s just the way their relationship works. AJ isn’t pissed because you took his punching bag away from him. AJ’s pissed because you broke up a good thing.”

“A good thing?” Dan demanded. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Justin wakes up screaming, he’s afraid of the dark, and the monster he thinks is after him, is AJ.”

“When did you talk to JC and Howie?” Erik asked, finally breaking his pose to give Ashley an unreadable glance.

“This morning,” Ashley said. “I was over at Joey’s house, and they showed up. Not together. They looked surprised to see each other, it was kind of awkward. It got really tense for just a second, like they didn’t know what to say to each other, like they wanted to hug but didn’t think they could. All they really said to each other was hi, and then they talked about you for a minute.”

Jacob looked like he had several unpleasant things to say, but he held back.

“Me?” Erik sounded faintly surprised.

“They both really seem to like you,” Ashley said.

“You were in a house with Joey and JC and Howie?” Trevor asked.

“And Nick,” Ashley said. “In the kitchen.”

“My god,” Trevor said. “I would have gone cross-eyed, trying to stare at all of the overwhelming hotness.”

“Does Chris know that you drool over all of his friends like this?” Ashley asked.

“Yes,” Trevor said.

“What are we going to do?” Jacob asked. “We need a plan of action. I’m not going to sit in my house waiting for AJ to come at me with a knife.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Dan said. “I’ll deal with him, I’ll take care of it. Today.”

“What if that doesn’t work?” Jacob asked.

“Then we’ll come up with something that does,” Dan said.

“You could talk to Brian,” Ashley said to Jacob. “If he really is your friend, he won’t be happy with AJ coming after us like this.”

“Brian doesn’t control AJ,” Jacob said. “But I’ll talk to him.”

“Can we get you anything?” Dan asked Erik.

“I just need to be by myself for a while,” Erik said. “I have to think about some things.”

“Okay.” Ashley hugged him. “I’m so sorry. Whatever he said to you, don’t believe him. None of it was true.”

“AJ’s not that scary,” Jacob said.

“He didn’t say anything to you, he just hit you,” Ashley said to Jacob. “The things he said to me were…intense.”

“It’s okay,” Trevor said, and hugged Erik. “Do you want us to call JC or Howie or anybody?”

“No,” Erik said. “No, don’t.”

“We’re right downstairs,” Jacob said, taking his turn at embracing Erik.

“Thanks.” Erik rubbed at his cheek as the others filed out of the room.

Dan, still on the bed, met Erik’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I feel responsible for this.”

“You’re not,” Erik said. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay. I just… I need to be alone.”

“Okay.” Dan hugged him. “I’ll take care of it. I’ll do what I need to do.”

Continue on to part fifty-two

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