"Sucker"

Sucker

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Continued from part forty-six...

Erik had pulled into a parking lot and turned on the interior light so that he could turn around and argue without the distraction of driving. After the first few minutes, any concept of loyalty had been shredded, and now it was every man for himself.

“I saw you!” Erik protested. “I saw you, right there at the table! You couldn’t even hold a fucking conversation! His hand was under the table, where the hell am I supposed to think it was?!”

“It wasn’t like that,” Ashley said. “It wasn’t-”

“I’m surprised he didn’t just unzip your fly and go for it!” Erik exclaimed. “I was so freaking embarrassed for you, Ashley, I was so fucking ashamed. Thank god JC wrote it off as just Joey being Joey, because I wouldn’t have known how to explain it.”

“Why would you have to explain what I do to anyone?” Ashley demanded.

“Because what you do affects other people!” Jacob said. “Because Joey has a boyfriend! Because Joey’s boyfriend has friends! Because when Brian knows you’re upstairs getting fucked through the mattress by Nick’s boyfriend, I have to apologize for your behavior!”

“If Brian has a problem with me, then he can shut the fuck up about it!” Ashley said, red-faced. “I’m fucking sick and tired of being confronted by every damned person with an opinion! This is my life! This is my ass! If I want to give it to Joey, then that’s between me and Joey, and the rest of you can get the fuck out of my business!”

“Amen,” Dan muttered.

“Oh, what the hell, you?” Erik demanded of Dan. “Aren’t you the one who walked right into Justin and AJ’s relationship and dragged Justin out of it?”

“Justin left AJ under his own power,” Dan said firmly, refusing to raise his voice. “He made his own decisions.”

“That’s not what it sounds like,” Erik said. “That’s not what it looks like to anybody but you.”

“Whether or not AJ and Justin had a good relationship was their problem,” Jacob said. “If you ask me, they deserve each other. You decided that you didn’t like what you saw, and you ripped them apart. You took Justin from AJ. It doesn’t matter whether you’re fucking him or not. You took him from his boyfriend.”

“AJ was abusing him,” Dan said. “You saw AJ when he came to get Justin from our house, you saw how out of control he was, what a rage he was in. He punched me in the face, you saw how he treated Justin.”

“Brian says that he’s never seen AJ treat Justin like that before,” Jacob said. “Maybe he was just pissed that he had to come and take his boyfriend from another man’s bed.”

“If it had been all that bad, don’t you think that JC or Joey or Chris or Lance would have done something about it?” Ashley asked.

“I don’t care about what everyone else wasn’t doing,” Dan said. “There’s no way that I can see someone being victimized and not do something to stop it.”

“Yeah, and now we have AJ coming around assaulting us,” Erik said. “Thanks a lot. I guess it doesn’t matter if he’s coming after us, as long as he doesn’t touch Justin.”

“And it’s all worth it, since Justin’s so much better now under your care,” Jacob said. “Do me a favor, refresh my memory, did Justin strangle people while he was with AJ?”

They were supposed to circulate, mingle, get to know each other. Chris and Kevin were out, JC and Howie were out, and now Justin and AJ were off the list, too, so Lance and Brian went in search of Nick and Joey. At least they’d be safe.

They finally found Nick and Joey in a darkened room. Joey was asleep, sprawled over the sofa, his head in Nick’s lap, his arms hugging Nick’s thigh. Nick flipped channels on the TV with one hand, his other hand fingering through Joey’s hair.

“Hey,” Nick said. “How’s it going?”

“We don’t want to disturb you,” Brian said, pausing in the doorway.

“Don’t worry about it,” Nick said. “Joey can sleep through anything.”

“Sounds like you,” Brian said, entering the room.

“Sounds like JC,” Lance said. “But since right now you’re cuddled up to Joey, let’s conveniently pretend that JC doesn’t exist. Have you even spoken to him today?” With Joey taking up the entire length of the couch, Lance and Brian sat in the armchairs facing each other across the room. Lance was near the doorway and escape, and also Joey’s feet; Brian was nearer to Nick.

“Why does every word out of your mouth sound bitchy?” Nick asked Lance. “Are you really going to get on my ass about anything when you were just in the kitchen practically having Brian suck cookie crumbs off of your dick?”

“Why do you never know what the fuck you’re talking about?” Lance asked. “We were eating cookies. Eating. Cookies. Is there anything more wholesome than eating cookies?”

“And the part where you were grabbing his ass with your tongue down his throat, I imagined it?” Nick asked.

“I don’t know what fantasies occur in your perverted brain,” Lance said.

“We were kissing,” Brian said, trying to be diplomatic about it.

Lance wasn’t interested in diplomacy. He was interested in making someone else’s day as bad as his had been. “You remember kissing. That thing you used to do with JC when you pretended you cared about him.”

“You mean that thing you used to be able to get Howie to pretend he enjoyed doing with you?” Nick asked. “Oh, wait, do you need me to be more specific? That covers a lot of activities, doesn’t it?”

“Nick,” Brian said. “Please.”

“You don’t have to protect me from him,” Lance said.

“And you don’t have to act like an asshole,” Nick said. “But you don’t seem to be able to help yourself.”

“You’re calling me an asshole?” Lance demanded. “You’re the rudest, most obnoxious-”

“You’re bitchy-”

“-crude-”

“-self-righteous-”

“-disgusting-”

“-you think you’re so much better than every damned body-”

“-arrogant-”

“-you won’t take blame for shit-”

“-monosyllabic-”

“-wannabe-”

“-overhyped-”

“-untalented-”

“-asshole that I’ve ever met!” Lance exclaimed. “Did you just call me a wannabe?!”

“Wannabe Justin Timberlake,” Nick said. “Wannabe JC Chasez.”

“What I want to be is on a planet where crude assholes like you are treated like the shit they are!” Lance snapped. “You’re so damned full of yourself! What possible reason do you have to think you’re the greatest damned person alive?!”

Nick grinned. “Ask JC.”

Kevin couldn’t let this panic attack go any farther. Pushing Chris against the wall, he leaned in, one hand above Chris’s shoulder, one hand cupping Chris’s chin until anxious brown eyes fixed on his face. “Chris,” Kevin said with quiet firmness.

Chris responded by becoming still and quiet.

Gently, Kevin stroked Chris’s chin. Obviously, he knew the answer, but he wanted Chris to say it. “Does Brian know that you’ve had sex with me and with Trevor?”

“Yes,” Chris said. Even though Chris was breathing too hard, which indicated that he was still under Brian stress, he gazed into Kevin’s eyes as if hypnotized.

“Has Brian asked you to stop?”

Chris frowned, coming to uncertain conclusions. “No.”

Kevin’s fingers strayed over Chris’s cheek. “Brian isn’t always as direct as I am, is he?”

Chris didn’t like to admit anything that might allow someone to consider the idea that Brian might be other than perfect. But, reluctantly, he said, “No.”

“Brian isn’t always as consistent as I am, is he?” Kevin asked, pushing the issue but asking calmly, without judgment in his voice, to make it easier for Chris to reply.

“No,” Chris said quietly.

“Sometimes it can be hard to know what Brian really wants from you,” Kevin said.

Chris looked relieved that someone else saw his eternal dilemma. “Yes.”

“Brian just told us that he takes lovemaking seriously, that he prefers to have sex with someone he cares about,” Kevin said. “He didn’t say that he only has sex with someone he’s in love with. He also didn’t say that he imposes his ideas on other people.” Kevin slid his hand to Chris’s chin again, firming his grip, his tone, and his gaze. “Brian knows how much you love him. You know that he understands that.”

Chris’s eyes were wide and direct as he concentrated on Kevin’s words.

“He also knows that you’re having sex with me and with Trevor. If he wanted you to stop, he’d let you know that. Brian knows that you’re in this game, he knows the position you’re in. He understands.”

Doubt crept into Chris’s expression as his mind struggled with Kevin’s rhetoric.

“Brian has ways of making things happen,” Kevin said. “Brian has ways of letting you know what he expects from you.”

That expression indicated that Chris knew exactly what Kevin was talking about. Kevin was tempted to smile, but didn’t.

“If Brian wanted you not to have sex with Trevor, he’d make sure that it didn’t happen. If Brian didn’t want you and I to have sex, he’d say something to one of us. He hasn’t said anything about it to me or you.” Kevin rubbed his thumb over Chris’s jaw. “It’s okay for you to have sex with Trevor. It’s okay for you to have sex with me.” Time to step up the argument. “Not having sex with us won’t make Brian admire your loyalty. It will interfere in the game, and you know that Brian won’t want that. Having sex with us is good for the game, and that’s what’s important to Brian right now.”

Kevin waited.

He watched Chris absorb the ideas and information presented.

He waited.

He watched acceptance, conviction, and determination set in.

He stroked Chris’s cheek, then jaw, then neck. Testing.

Chris’s gaze flickered; he studied Kevin, speculating. Kevin imagined the wheels turning in Chris’s head as Chris followed the logical path. Brian’s priority was the game. Chris and Kevin’s partnership was a vital part of the game. Being close to Kevin and being good to Kevin and obeying Kevin and having sex with Kevin was Chris’s contribution to their partnership. Therefore, Chris having sex with Kevin would make Brian happy.

Kevin kissed him, gently.

Chris’s mouth opened for him easily.

Tenderly releasing Chris’s mouth, Kevin murmured, “When we leave here,” he raised his gaze from Chris’s mouth to Chris’s eyes, “come home with me tonight.”

Chris nodded. “Okay.”

Lance stormed down the hallway, dragging Brian along with him. “That arrogant self-centered obnoxious-” He bumped into JC in the doorway to the kitchen. “What?!” he demanded, enraged.

Startled, JC stepped back. “Sorry.”

Damn it. “No, I’m sorry, I,” god, Lance put a reassuring hand on JC’s arm. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“Are you okay?” JC asked, looking worried. “What happened?”

Lance dropped his hand with a sigh. “I just had a fight with Nick after I acted like a complete asshole to Chris and Justin.”

“Are Chris and Justin okay?” JC asked. “What did you say to Nick?”

“I couldn’t give you an honest answer on any of that,” Lance said. “If you want to check on them,” all three of them, since it was JC, “you’ll probably do a lot better than I did.”

“I’ll go see how they’re doing,” JC said, still looking concerned for Lance. “Maybe you should sit down somewhere and drink something soothing.”

“And stay out of everyone’s way,” Lance finished for him, as JC passed out of the kitchen.

“It can’t have been that bad,” Howie said, following JC.

Lance sank down into a kitchen chair once they had gone. “It was exactly that bad,” he said, his elbows on the table, his forehead in his hands.

“Chris and Justin understand,” Brian said, running a comforting hand over his back. “Nick will get over it.”

“I don’t know why any time I get near one of you I turn into an asshole extraordinaire,” Lance said.

“You don’t,” Brian said, loyal to the end. He paused. “One of what?”

“One of you,” Lance said. “One of the Backstreet Boys. It’s like breathing your air makes me bitchier with every inhalation. It doesn’t even matter which one of you it is anymore. I get rude, I get confrontational, I can’t even stand myself. Sometimes I hear what comes out of my mouth and I want to scream, ‘Stop it, stop it, what are you doing?!’” He slid his fingers back through his hair. “I think that I find a new reason to hate myself every day.”

Brian’s arms surrounded him, Brian’s chin on his shoulder. “It’s not you.” Brian’s voice was soft, respectful, loving. “It’s the position you’re in. The position that we’ve all put you in. You’re fighting every one of us, and you’re fighting yourself. You’re in a daily struggle with at least fourteen people, fifteen if you count yourself. I know you love your friends, I know that you want what’s best for them, but it’s hard on you to watch them throw themselves determinedly into situations that are bad for them. You resent me and Howie and Kevin and Nick and AJ for setting up those situations and for causing you and your friends pain and frustration. And you hate Jacob, Trevor, Ashley, Dan, and Erik. Especially Erik.” Brian’s voice softened further. “Especially Jacob.”

“If he isn’t near death by the end of this, then it’s all for nothing,” Lance said with quiet fury.

Brian’s voice was hushed. “I know.”

Ashley looked ready to scream with frustration. “I already have every damned member of Backstreet giving me dirty looks and attacking me in my own home! I don’t need the four of you all up in my face treating me like the other woman!”

“You are the other woman,” Jacob snapped.

“They’re not married!” Ashley argued. “It’s not adultery! We are grown adults having consensual sex! They’re both fine with it! Joey and Nick are still boyfriends, so-”

“But that’s not what you want,” Trevor said. “You said yourself that you want to take Joey from Nick. You can’t be mad that people are accusing you of something that you’re trying to do!”

“What’s it going to be?” Erik asked Ashley. “Are you going to stay the mistress or become the home-wrecker?”

“At least Dan thinks he’s rescuing Justin,” Jacob said. “You’re just trying to get laid.”

“What about Erik?” Ashley demanded. “He’s all up in the middle of JC and Howie’s relationship! He’s not trying to get laid?”

“I’m trying to get them back together,” Erik snapped.

“Why?” Trevor asked. “You like three-ways better?”

“Brian said-”

“I’m so fucking tired of hearing what Brian said!” Dan exploded. “Think for yourself!”

“I’m tired of hearing all about poor little Justin,” Jacob shot back. “I’m tired of hearing all about big bad AJ. I’m tired of being jumped in my own house because you’re ripping apart other people’s relationships.”

“I’m tired of hearing all about Joey and Nick,” Erik said.

“I’m tired of hearing all about JC and Howie,” Jacob snapped.

“I’m tired of hearing all about Chris and Kevin,” Ashley said. “You know,” he said to Trevor, “for someone who claims to be so in love with Chris, you sure are damned quick to climb all over his ex-boyfriend. The boyfriend he’s still in love with. Do you still want to get Chris back, or do you want to fuck Kevin?”

“Or,” Jacob said, “he could pull an Erik and fuck them both.”

JC found Justin flipping through AJ’s CD collection while AJ lounged casually on the sofa. “Hi.”

“How’s it going?” Howie asked.

“Not bad,” AJ said. “Still hate me?” he asked Justin.

“Still and always,” Justin said without glancing at him.

“Just right,” AJ told Howie.

JC approached Justin, standing beside him in the corner. “Everything’s okay?”

“Not more or less than usual,” Justin said. “You want to hear this one?”

“Sure,” JC said. Since Justin seemed fine, he decided not to bring up Lance. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Justin said. Justin finally looked at him with real attention. “What about you, are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine if you don’t play that CD,” JC said.

Justin laughed. “Get out of here.”

Happy to hear the sound of Justin’s laughter, JC smiled and left with Howie. Seconds later, they ran across Kevin and Chris, who were sitting quietly discussing Trevor. Since they seemed fine, JC decided not to interrupt, and ventured on.

That was then they discovered Nick and Joey.

Nick, petting Joey’s hair.

Joey, stretched out with his head in Nick’s lap, asleep and hugging Nick’s thigh as a pillow.

“Everything okay in here?” Howie asked, gently guiding JC into the room.

“Great, now that Bass is gone,” Nick said. “Joey and I have been kind of alone back here. Well, he’s asleep, I’m alone. What’s going on with everybody else?”

“They’re all fine,” JC said. Nick had used to stroke his hair while he’d slept. Stroked his face. Kissed his neck. Whispered sweet words. Words that hadn’t meant anything. “We’re just looking for Brian. Excuse us.” He turned and left, walking back down the hallway with a quick stride.

“JC,” Howie whispered, following him.

Rattled, JC stopped in the dining room, leaning forward against the table, resting his weight on his hands. “Looking for Brian, right, I have so many reasons to talk to Brian.”

“You can talk to Brian,” Howie said. “You have every reason to talk to Brian.”

“He’s your friend.” JC couldn’t believe he’d run from the room like that. Where had his composure gone? Nick had used to call him a diva.

“My friends are your friends,” Howie said. “We’re all in this together, JC. That’s what today’s about.”

Straightening, JC repeated Howie’s words in his head, regaining focus. “Your friends are my friends,” he said.

“Right,” Howie said, hands on JC’s waist, slowly stroking JC’s sides. Howie looked at him with lovely brown eyes, trusting and affectionate. “Your friends are my friends. I consider your friends to be my friends and allies, even though I don’t know if they like me or not. We’re all in this together. The ten of us.” Howie’s hands slid up, then down. “The two of us.”

“You and me,” JC said. Nick acted like he was a mere acquaintance. Howie cared about him. Stuck with him. “Together.”

“A team,” Howie said. “Partners. For as long as this game lasts.”

JC took a deep breath. It was time to admit it. “I couldn’t do this without you.”

“You won’t have to,” Howie promised, and kissed him.

JC and Howie were kissing.

Lance stared.

“Lance,” Brian said quietly from behind him, trying to guide him down the hallway.

Lance refused to budge. “Why can’t I catch a fucking break?!”

JC jerked away from Howie with a startled, guilty expression. His mouth closed, then opened, like he was about to speak.

Someone else beat him to it. “That is it!” Kevin stepped into the dining room, glaring right at Lance. “I don’t know what your problem is, but let me tell you what some of mine are.”

Lance glared right back. “I don’t give a-”

“This would be a good time for you to be quiet,” Brian whispered.

Kevin turned to Chris, who’d scurried up behind him. Justin had appeared, too, apparently attracted by the sound of Kevin’s voice raised in anger, and AJ had accompanied Justin. “Bring Joey in here.”

Chris nodded and left.

“I think that Howie, AJ, and Brian know what my first problem is,” Kevin said.

Kevin was taller and broader than Lance, with strong features and powerfully green eyes under formidable eyebrows. He was extremely intimidating, far more than Lance would ever admit. “Do you want me to guess?” Lance asked dryly. Justin’s eyes widened in horror.

“I’d guess that it’s all of this room-switching bullshit,” AJ said. “I keep seeing everyone rushing past the doorway. No one can sit still for more than two seconds.”

“JC can’t be near Nick and Joey,” Kevin said. “Lance can’t be near JC and Howie. Chris can’t be near Lance and Brian.” His eyes narrowed. “No one can be near Lance.”

“Since when do best friends have to run from each other?” AJ asked. “You can’t be in the same room at the same time?”

“When we finally pulled off what seemed like a miracle and got a group of us in one room at one time, a minor riot erupted and we had to kick Lance out,” Kevin said.

“No, you had to kick Lance out,” Lance snapped. Kevin was a terribly imposing figure, dark and looming and oddly powerful, but Lance couldn’t give Kevin power over him, especially not in front of everyone else. He couldn’t let Kevin make him lose face. He couldn’t show fear, not for a second.

“Trust me,” Kevin said darkly. “No one wanted you there.” From behind Kevin, Justin made shushing gestures at Lance, staring at Lance furiously, apparently convinced that upsetting Kevin was a mortal sin and Lance was in terrible danger.

“What’s going on?” Nick asked from the hallway as Chris snuck past AJ and back into the room.

“Kevin’s telling me off,” Lance said. “You wouldn’t want to miss that.”

“I sure wouldn’t,” Nick said, pushing everyone in from the doorway so that he could enter the room, Joey in tow.

“We shouldn’t have to waste our time shielding you from each other,” Kevin said, picking up where he’d left off. “There’s no reason that adult men should flee the room at the sight of each other.”

“What the hell?” Nick asked. “I used to be with JC, you think I lose it at the sight of him talking to Howie? AJ used to be with Joey, you think he throws a fit if he catches Joey kissing me? Get over it. Aren’t you adults?”

“Apparently not,” AJ said. “Why can’t we just get together, have a little barbecue, and hang out? I barely saw Kevin over the last few hours because he was too busy baby-sitting Chris and I had to watch Justin. I can’t have a good time at my own party because I have to baby-sit a grown man? And where were all of you? Why weren’t you looking after Justin?”

“They were probably too busy paying attention to who was getting too close to who else,” Nick said. “It’s hard to look out for your friends when you’re only worried about yourself.”

“I hate to say this,” Brian said, his tone reluctant and regretful, “but this has been a problem since day one, and it’s not getting any better. We’ve tried, and we’ve been patient, but…”

Chris stared at Brian, aghast.

“You can’t get over yourselves,” Nick said.

“It’s a big complication,” Brian said. “It’s causing real problems. It’s hard for us to hold up our end when you’re not all pulling your weight. It only seems to be getting harder. I don’t want to name names, but just for an example, if we can assume that Justin doesn’t like Kevin spending time with Chris, what’s it going to be like when Kevin’s spending time with Chris and with Trevor?”

“This shit’s getting worse,” Nick said.

“We can handle it,” Lance said, his voice dark and bitter.

“I’d like to see you walk in on Howie in bed with JC and Erik and still say that,” Nick said.

“I’d like to see you walk into hell,” Lance said.

“Lance,” JC said, shocked.

Ignoring JC, Nick’s glare was venomous. “I’m about to take this outside, jackass, so watch every word coming out of your mouth.”

“Now you’re threatening to beat me up?” Lance demanded. “What the fuck do you think this is, high school?”

“You’re the one who can’t handle the idea of your ex with another man,” Nick said. “You’re so fucking jealous it’s sick. Did you really think that you were so great in bed Howie would be celibate after being with you? Did you think you were going to ruin him for all other men?”

“I’m glad that JC can finally be with someone mature, stable, and attractive after being with an immature, worthless, asshole like you!” Lance snapped.

“Lance!” JC protested, appalled.

“That’s enough,” Kevin said sharply. “If you think that you can handle this situation, then show some maturity.”

“We can do better,” Justin said.

“It speaks!” Nick stared at Justin. “What happened to you? Every time we all get together, you and Chris sit in a corner somewhere like a punished kid, all silent and twitching. I thought you two were afflicted with something.” He peered at Chris. “Do you talk like a normal person, too?”

“Leave them alone,” Lance said.

“You talked a minute ago in the other room, but that was about two words and nobody else was around,” Nick said to Chris. “Try saying something now.”

“I like your bracelet,” Chris said.

Nick laughed. “Thanks. Hey, as long as you’re talking, can you tell me why it takes five people holed up in one house to keep Justin under control? If he’s really so bad that he needs constant supervision, do you all have to be there at once? Can you take shifts or something? Do you need us to draw out a schedule for you? Because having all five of you out of commission while we’re trying to get shit done is really slowing us down.”

“He has a point,” Brian said delicately.

“Why can’t Lance and Dan break up the baby-sitting shifts?” AJ asked. “That would free up the rest of you to actually do what we’re all here to do.”

“Why me?” Lance demanded.

“You’re not doing shit anyway,” AJ said. “At least you’d be useful for once.”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “You-”

AJ’s glare challenged him. “Do you see anyone else who’s expendable?”

The fucker! “I’m not fucking expendable!”

“Lance is training Jacob for me,” Brian said. “I can’t do anything until he does his part. His role right now is more important and time-sensitive than anyone else’s.”

“Then you’d think he’d actually get something done,” AJ said.

“I don’t need round-the-clock supervision,” Justin said, before Lance could respond. “And if I need to hang out, I can just be with one of the guys, not everybody. That’s not necessary.”

“Good,” Nick said. “So leave him alone and get to work,” he told the rest of them.

“Now,” Kevin said darkly, “let’s discuss the three major thorns in my side.”

Justin and Chris paled.

“Lance,” Kevin said.

“Of course,” Lance said, crossing his arms over his chest. The more Kevin intimidated him, the more committed he was to snapping back. He was determined not to look on the outside the way he felt on the inside: scared, desperate, weak.

“Joey,” Kevin said.

“Me?” Joey asked, dropping his hand from where he’d been rubbing sleep from his eyes.

Kevin’s gaze found his last victim. “JC.”

“What?” JC asked, startled.

Chris and Justin looked at each other.

Lance wasn’t proud of himself, but he was grimly pleased that JC had been called out. Maybe JC wasn’t the privileged favorite after all.

“Kevin,” Chris whispered. “I think that you forgot a few thorns.”

“No,” Kevin said, and his arm slid around Chris’s waist with casual possessiveness. “I haven’t forgotten anything. I’ve remembered that you always keep me informed, that you always let me know what’s going on, that you always check in about anything involving Trevor and this game.” His gaze darkened as he looked from JC, to Joey, to Lance. “You could learn a few things from Chris.”

“The dinner,” JC said.

“Yes,” Kevin said. He looked very, very displeased. “The dinner.”

“You took Erik and Ashley to dinner,” AJ said. “You didn’t tell anyone.”

“We don’t need permission to go to dinner,” Lance said.

“It’s not about permission,” Brian said softly.

“We might have had ideas,” Howie said. “What to discuss at dinner, what to bring up, thoughts to plant.”

“JC should have told Howie, Lance should have told Brian, and Joey should have told me,” Nick said. “You didn’t even tell Justin or Chris. You left seven people out of the loop!”

“You had two of them, all to yourselves,” AJ said. “It was a huge opportunity.”

“A huge opportunity that you wasted,” Nick said.

“I only found out what was happening when you showed up at the door,” Brian said. “I was there in the house while they were getting ready. I could have presented any number of ideas to them before you even got there. I could have set up anything you wanted.”

“Everything in this game overlaps,” AJ said. “You must have noticed that by now. Everything that happens between any two people affects everyone else in some way. You had two of them, right there, with three of you. You could have accomplished so damned much.”

“You can’t act all on your own without consulting anyone else,” Howie said.

“We consulted each other,” Lance said.

“We’re all in this together,” Brian said.

“Unless you don’t want us here,” AJ said.

“If you’re going to do this on your own, then let us know,” Nick said. “We don’t have to stick around.”

“If you can’t work with us, what’s the point?” AJ asked.

“This won’t all fall into place,” Howie said. “It takes coordination. That means that we all have to cooperate. You’ve asked us to help you, and we’ve done our best, but it’s not working out. Maybe we should just pull out. You can keep going, or not, it’s up to you-”

“How would we explain how you all just disappeared?” Lance asked.

“That’s your problem, not ours,” AJ said.

“You invited us in,” Nick said. “This started out as your project. If we’re in it, we’re in it. You fuck-ups couldn’t take this thing seriously if your lives depended on it. We can’t all get together without it turning into a three-ring circus. You don’t keep us informed for shit. If you’re not willing to work with us, we don’t have to be here.”

Kevin looked around the room. “We’ll cut our losses and drop the whole thing.”

“No,” Justin said, rushing into speech. “No, don’t go. You don’t have to leave. No one has to go anywhere. We can work as a team.”

“We’ll do whatever we have to do,” Chris said.

“We’ll do anything,” Justin said. “We haven’t done everything right, we’ve made some mistakes, but we can do better.”

“We can do a lot better,” Chris said, looking back and forth between Kevin and Brian with each sentence. “We want to work with you. We’ll be better partners. We’ll do all kinds of teamwork. We’ll cooperate so well it’ll need a whole new meaning.”

“You don’t have to go anywhere,” Justin said. “We’ll keep you informed of everything. I’ll call AJ every time that Dan sneezes. We won’t even talk to O-Town without calling you right before and right after.”

“The two of you aren’t our main problem,” AJ said.

“They’ll do better, too,” Chris said immediately.

“They should have called you,” Justin said. “They will next time. They will every time. They’ll learn.”

“We’ll make sure of it,” Chris said.

“We’ll do anything you say,” Justin said.

“Anything you want,” Chris said.

“Tell them you’ll do better,” Justin ordered, looking at the three of them.

“Say it and mean it,” Chris said.

“We really fucked up,” JC said. “I’m sorry about that. Howie and I talked about it, I know I was wrong, it won’t happen again.” He sounded so genuine and sincere, Lance knew that he’d be the privileged favorite again within the hour.

“I’m sorry,” Joey said. “I wasn’t thinking.”

Lance wasn’t about to let the Boys back out now. They’d come too far. They’d been through too much. And, he wasn’t about to lose this link to Howie. However, it also occurred to him that if Justin and Chris decided that he were at all responsible for Kevin and Brian walking out, he wouldn’t see another dawn. He looked at Brian, gritted his teeth, and said, “I’ll do better. I’ll make sure to keep you informed.”

“We all have room for improvement,” Brian said. “We could all take some time to think about how to make this work. About how we can all contribute something more.” He sighed. “This barbecue sounded like a good idea, but maybe we’ve all had enough for today.”

“Great,” Nick said. “Can we go now?”

“Yes,” Kevin said.

“Thanks for your permission,” Lance said.

“Who needs a ride?” Howie asked.

“Lance and I drove,” JC said.

“I’ll take you home,” Nick told Joey, putting an arm around his waist. “Great barbecue, AJ.”

“Thanks,” AJ said, as Nick and Joey left. “Somebody’s staying behind to clean up.”

“I’ll stay,” Howie said.

“Thanks for the food, AJ,” Brian said. “Should I follow you home or go to Jacob’s?” he asked Lance.

“Come with me,” Lance said, walking away with him. “I want to talk to you.”

“Say good-bye to AJ,” Kevin said to Chris.

“Good-bye,” Chris said, glancing at AJ.

“Bye,” AJ said, sliding his arm around Justin’s waist. Justin’s stomach clenched as Kevin left. Kevin was gone. Kevin had taken Chris and not him. Kevin was gone. “Come on,” AJ said. “Help me bring everything back inside, and then we’ll go dancing.”

“You’re awfully quiet,” Ashley said to Trevor.

“He’s busy thinking of a new way to kiss Kevin’s ass,” Erik said.

“It doesn’t bother you that you’re Kevin’s errand boy?” Jacob asked.

“I know you’re a pop whore, but isn’t this taking it a little far?” Erik asked.

“I like helping Kevin out,” Trevor said. “Since the last time I was at his house, he had his hand on my dick, I think I’m a little more than his errand boy.”

“Oh, fuck boy!” Erik said. “A promotion! Great!”

“You can pick up his dry cleaning and suck his dick,” Jacob said. “Good for you.”

“Like you’re not sucking Brian’s?” Trevor demanded.

“If he isn’t, he wishes he were,” Ashley said.

“I’ve never touched Brian,” Jacob said. “When I am with someone, I don’t put on public sex displays that embarrass everyone around me.”

“The cage in the club, dinner the other night, at least no one has to wonder whose dick Ashley’s sucking,” Erik said.

“The real question is who’s sucking Dan’s dick,” Ashley said.

“The real question is why he’s keeping secrets,” Jacob said.

“Ten bucks says it’s Justin,” Erik said. “If AJ likes it rough, then there’s a good chance that Justin does, too.”

“Kinky,” Ashley said.

“So,” Erik said to Dan, “is Justin more of a dominating type, or a hot little hellcat?”

“I think what we all want to know,” Dan said, “is if Howie and JC are separated, and they both require your special friendship services, which one of them are you bottoming for?”

“Oh, good question,” Trevor said. “JC?”

“Howie,” Ashley said. “Definitely Howie.”

Erik turned around, smacking off the dome light and twisting the key in the ignition. “Anyone who says one more goddamned word to me gets kicked out of the fucking car while it’s in motion.”

Howie returned the coleslaw to the refrigerator. “It’s your night to take Erik.”

“I hoped I could get some time alone with you,” JC said.

“I’d love that,” Howie said. “I’ve really missed you. But he hasn’t heard from me all day and he hasn’t talked to you since yesterday morning. You and I were together so constantly, he expects us to need his company.”

JC was as afraid of the Backstreet ultimatum as everyone else was. If he didn’t put everything else aside and ignore his own feelings and commit himself fully to the game, they’d cut their losses and go. The little snatches of Nick that he had now, painful and brief as they were, were better than nothing. “I’ll call him and invite him over. I’d better shower and change first so I don’t smell like a barbecue.”

“I love the cologne you’re wearing,” Howie said, running a hand over his chest. The warmth of Howie’s gaze drew JC in and he kissed Howie, attracted to Howie’s desire for him, aching for the closeness they shared. Nick hurt, Erik wasn’t real, but after a night in Howie’s arms, he could wake up and still feel cared for.

“All right, break it up,” AJ said, coming in with a platter. “Either get to work or get out.”

Howie kissed JC again, stroking his cheek. “Have fun with Erik.”

JC kissed him. “I’ll call you.” He’d really missed Howie, and he didn’t want to leave. “You look,” kiss, “great today,” he said as AJ left the room.

“You look even better,” Howie said, kissing JC, and then lowered his voice to a private whisper. “Let Erik,” kiss, “make you come from his fingers,” kiss, kiss, “before he fucks you. He’ll think it’s incredibly hot.” Slow, deep kiss, and Howie whispered, “I always do.”

Both embarrassed and aroused, JC kissed Howie, sliding his hands over Howie’s responsive body. It had been so long, and Howie felt so good, and their mutual desire-

“One of you has to go,” AJ said, coming in again.

“Bye,” Howie murmured, kissing him.

“Bye,” JC said, and when Howie pulled back, he opened his eyes. The lust in Howie’s gaze made his body hot. “I’ll take your advice,” he said, aware of their audience.

“I know he’ll appreciate it,” Howie said, and winked.

He’d thought that seeing Howie again would be different. After the night they’d shared and the love they’d shared, shouldn’t it have been different? Shouldn’t there have been some sign from Howie, some vibe between them, that let him know that he wasn’t alone?

Had it been just another night to Howie? Had it been meaningless after all?

He’d thought, hoped, expected that maybe something had changed between them, that the love hadn’t been one-sided. When they’d made love that night, it had seemed so shared, like Howie had felt what he’d felt.

He hadn’t even had a chance to talk to Howie about it today. When Howie had walked in, Brian had been there, and then JC had showed up, and he’d never been able to catch Howie alone, to talk about the other night.

Maybe Howie hadn’t felt anything. Maybe Howie had felt it that night, but in the light of day, it had evaporated. He didn’t understand. All of that love, all of that passion, how could it just vanish?

And then Howie had offered to leave the game. Howie had fucking suggested, “Maybe we should just pull out.” Pull out of the game like he’d pulled his dick out of Lance’s ass? And then that oh-so-fucking-generous, “You can keep going, or not, it’s up to you.” How thoughtful, how nice of him, how goddamned sweet. “You’ve asked us to help you, and we’ve done our best, but it’s not working out.” Not working out? How about Howie and Lance’s relationship, had that not worked out?

“What did you want to talk about?” Brian asked, following him into his house.

Lance kicked the door shut and kissed Brian, licking Brian’s mouth open and tugging at Brian’s clothes. Brian made a few startled sounds, then moaned, reaching for Lance’s fly.

Nick was an obnoxious asshole, Kevin was a pompous jackass, AJ was an arrogant son-of-a-bitch, Howie was two-faced and manipulative, and they all just loved JC. Chris and Justin had all but turned on him; Joey and JC hadn’t said a word in his favor. Lance had had a very bad day. There was only one person who’d shown him real support, only one person who’d stood at his side all day.

It felt like Brian was all he had left.

“You know you look like shit,” Nick said, following Joey to his bedroom uninvited.

“That’s why I’m going to sleep now,” Joey said, “so you can either shut up or show yourself out.” He dropped onto the bed with an unhappy groan, eyes closing.

“What were you doing all night?” Nick asked, taking off Joey’s shoes. He rubbed Joey’s foot, waiting for an answer.

“Fucking,” Joey said.

“Girls,” Nick said. “How many?”

Joey rubbed his forehead, eyes still shut. “I lost count.”

“You got pissed about Dan?” Nick asked, crawling onto the bed and opening Joey’s jeans.

“I didn’t even know AJ had even kissed him until yesterday,” Joey said. “I had no idea he was even a factor.”

Nick tugged Joey’s jeans down and off, taking his underwear, too. “He’s just a kid,” Nick said. “He hasn’t put any time or emotion into it yet. Chemistry and body parts, that’s great short-term, but it doesn’t mean anything long-term.” He pushed up Joey’s shirt. “Can you help me out here?”

Joey pulled his shirt off over his head, tossing it aside.

“Do you want to cry about it?” Nick asked.

Joey’s eyes opened.

Nick read Joey’s expression. “Maybe not,” he decided. “You want me to kiss it better?”

“I just want to go the fuck to sleep,” Joey said.

“Okay,” Nick said, and rolled Joey onto one side. Kicking off his sandals, he shed his clothes, lying down beside Joey and pulling the covers up over them.

“You’re actually staying?” Joey asked in disbelief.

“What, like I’d walk out while you’re upset?” Nick asked, pushing in closer.

“I’m not upset,” Joey snapped. “I’m tired.”

“Okay.” Nick kissed him, stroking his beard like Ashley always did. “Good night, sweetness.”

Joey grumbled, irritated, but closed his eyes.

Nick stroked his beard for a few more minutes, slowly, gently.

Joey relaxed.

Nick caressed his upper arm, his shoulder, his back.

Joey fell asleep.

Nick rested his hand on Joey’s thigh, his own eyes closing.

The five of them stormed into the house without a word. Everyone went to his own room. Five doors slammed shut.

When the house phone rang, the first person who caught it answered and immediately hung up.

In his room, Erik’s cell phone rang. He answered with an angry, “Hello?!”

“Honey?” JC asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t even talk about it,” Erik said. He tried to calm down so he wouldn’t take it out on JC, who didn’t deserve that. “Do you need something?”

“It’s okay, honey. I just wanted to ask you to come over, but if you-”

“God, please, get me out of this fucking house,” Erik said. “I’ll be right there.”

Kevin had volunteered to cut his losses and drop the whole thing. They all had to be on their best behavior so that Kevin wouldn’t go anywhere.

Justin picked up, put away, wiped down, scrubbed, and polished. By the time Howie left, Justin had the patio spotless and the kitchen gleaming.

Then AJ put on new music, just for them.

It was time to go dancing.

Brian panted for breath. His heart was pounding. He couldn’t feel his own hands. “Wow.” His throat hurt from screaming like that. “I don’t think I can walk.”

“Is Jacob doing anything tomorrow?” Lance asked.

“No,” Brian said.

“Good.” Despite that word, Lance didn’t sound happy about it. “I’m going to invite him over.”

Brian rolled over, wincing a little, to look at Lance’s face. Lance was staring at the ceiling. Brian stroked his neck. “You’re going to do it?”

Lance didn’t look at him. “Yeah.”

Jacob was going to fuck Lance. Jacob was one step closer to Brian. Brian was one step closer to Jacob. Brian leaned in and pressed his lips to Lance’s in a tender kiss. Lance didn’t respond. Brian’s caress trailed down Lance’s chest. “I should be with him tonight, so he’ll be motivated tomorrow.”

“Who’s the best fuck you’ve ever had?” Lance asked.

“You are,” Brian said, his fingers tracing a winding pattern around Lance’s navel.

“Tell me the truth,” Lance said, his eyes on Brian now.

“I am,” Brian said. “You’re the best lover I’ve ever had. You think I yell like that for everybody? I don’t think I’ve hit that note in my life.”

Pleased yet dissatisfied, Lance looked away again.

“I wish you’d let me love you,” Brian said. “I wish I made you happy.”

Sadness dimmed Lance’s eyes. “I wish someone who said he loved me actually did, for once.”

JC must have just taken a shower, because he smelled incredible and his hair was slippery soft. JC was the perfect place to be, sexy and beautiful and welcoming after those vicious petty assholes that Erik had once called friends. “How’d it go with Howie yesterday?” Erik asked.

“It was all right,” JC said.

What an informative answer. “What’d you talk about?” Erik asked.

“The same old things,” JC said. “What did you do today?”

Erik was close to JC, but he wasn’t ready to share all of his problems. Even after years, he still had trouble opening up to the guys. His best defense was silence and deflection. “I don’t want to talk about me. I want to talk about you and Howie. What happened yesterday?”

“Are you okay?” JC asked, concern slipping into his expression.

“I’m fine,” Erik said, but it came out wrong, and he knew that JC caught that. “Look, I’m just - - the guys and I had a fight, and right now I think they’re vicious hypocritical assholes, but I don’t want to take that out on you, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you sure?” JC asked, surprised and supportive, rubbing his chest with a slow hand. “Maybe I can help.”

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” Erik said. “Trust me. Let’s just talk about something else, all right?”

“All right,” JC said, but he still looked concerned. “Is there anything that I can do?”

“Not really,” Erik said. “I don’t know... You could let me hug you again, that felt pretty good.”

“Of course, honey, any time,” JC said, wrapping him in a firm, warm embrace. “How’s that, you feel better?”

“Much better,” Erik said, hugging JC back and kissing his neck.

“Mmm, you’re right,” JC murmured, rubbing his hand over the back of Erik’s head. “That does feel good...”

The doorbell rang.

Everyone ignored it.

The doorbell rang.

Frustrated, Dan ran downstairs and jerked the door open. Brian. “Jacob’s in his room.”

“Thanks,” Brian said uncertainly. He frowned. “Is everything okay?”

“Not remotely,” Dan said. He attempted a more polite tone. “Jacob’s in his room. I’m sure that he’ll be happy to see you.”

Howie picked up his phone. “Hello.”

“Howie, it’s JC.” JC’s voice was hushed and rushed. “I only have a second, but I wanted to let you know that Erik and the other guys had a fight. A bad fight, he’s upset but he won’t talk about it.”

JC was learning to communicate and share information. Howie smiled, but his voice came out thoughtful and concerned. “All five of them?”

“I think so. It sounds like it.”

“Thanks for letting me know,” Howie said. “Get me as many details as you can. We need to know what set them off, what they’re fighting about, what’s going through their minds.”

“I’ll call you back in the morning,” JC said. “I have to go, bye.” JC hung up.

Howie hung up, then dialed. Time to spread the news and find out what everyone else knew.

Justin had never had sex in AJ’s bed before. He kind of liked it. No rug burn. The mattress was softer than AJ’s hardwood floors, and supplied more room than a table, couch, or chair.

When they were finished, and AJ turned down the music, Justin let his eyes drift shut as his hand explored AJ’s chest. “I should go.”

“You can stay,” AJ said.

“You want me to stay?” Justin asked, surprised.

“I don’t care if you stay or not,” AJ said.

Typical. Justin’s fingers strayed up AJ’s neck, touching the hair on AJ’s face. “What about Dan?”

“Tell him you slept with one of the guys,” AJ said.

“I lied to Dan last night,” Justin said, running his fingers over AJ’s cheekbone.

“Yeah?” AJ asked, lazily stroking his hip.

“I told him how much I love you.”

AJ laughed.

Brian stared at Jacob in shock. “They what?!”

“They think we’re having sex,” Jacob said. “That’s what they said, but we were all saying so much bullshit, I don’t even know who really meant what.”

“That’s crazy,” Brian said, reaching out and tucking Jacob’s hair behind one ear. “Of course I love you, but…” He stopped talking, his gaze sliding to his hand. “Oh.” His hand withdrew. “Is that… I’m sorry, if you want me to stop - - if I’m giving anyone the wrong impression-”

“No,” Jacob said. “No, it’s not that. Maybe it is that, but I don’t want things to change. I don’t want you to worry about what anyone thinks. If they read anything more than friendship into this, than they don’t know us.”

“But it’s so much more than friendship,” Brian said, taking his hand. “Jacob, I love you. You’re not just my friend, you’re my soulmate. If that makes you uncomfortable-”

“That could never make me uncomfortable,” Jacob insisted. “You know that I feel the same way. I’ve never been this close to anyone in my life. I don’t care what anyone else says. If they can’t wrap their minds around the concept that people can be close without fucking, then maybe they need to evolve a little farther.”

Brian stroked Jacob’s knuckles. “Have you tried explaining to them that we’re straight?”

“Now that Dan and Erik are fucking men, straight isn’t what it used to be,” Jacob said.

Erik was in bed with the sexiest man in the whole universe.

The sexiest man ever was asleep right beside him, curled up against him.

JC had climaxed around his fingers. He’d witnessed every wicked convulsion of JC’s body. He’d made JC come just through touch. And then he’d pushed his dick right inside JC’s relaxed, sated body, and JC had made this…sound…and, god, it had been like a fantasy. JC was a fucking fantasy. The way JC moved, JC was so responsive and so flexible and so hot, arching and writhing and demanding more, more, more…

If JC only wanted sex once a month, Erik would still be excited about it. He’d live for that one day each month. He’d worship JC and be at JC’s beck and call the rest of the days, and then that one day a month would be his one monthly special holiday where the rest of the world ground to a halt and he made love to JC.

Howie got this every single day?

And Howie was going without this? Voluntarily?

Maybe Howie had gone insane, and Erik just hadn’t noticed.

After the barbecue, the members of *NSYNC found time over the next few days to call each other. Each call went a little differently from the others. Chris and Justin’s call, for example, was a lot more chatty than Chris and Lance’s.

Spliced together, the various calls went something like this:

“I think things went okay,” JC said. “Not all of it, not… Lance looked like he was having the worst day ever, but I didn’t know what to do for him. He didn’t want me anywhere near him. I understand that, I know it’s hard on him to see me with Howie. I tried to balance that, I tried to keep a polite distance between me and Howie, but then Nick showed up, and I just couldn’t handle it.”

“Why was Nick that late?” Lance asked. “Did it take him extra time to find his keys? You’d think he’d be so drawn to shiny objects, he wouldn’t lose them like that.”

“He didn’t say why he was late,” Joey said. “Nick runs on his own schedule. He has his own kind of weird logic.”

“What was with Joey?” Justin asked.

“Chris told Brian that Joey was out all night fucking,” Lance said. “I sat there and listened to him tell Brian about Joey’s personal business. In front of Kevin, like he needs more ammunition to use against us.”

“Why did you tell Brian about my sex life?” Joey asked.

“Brian asked me,” Chris said.

“Joey found out about AJ and Dan,” JC said. “He didn’t say it was Dan, he called him Sonic Boom, but he meant Dan.”

“Dan and AJ are fucking?” Lance asked.

“What’s Sonic Boom mean?” Justin asked.

“We’re all going through the same thing,” JC said.

“AJ’s fucking Dan, Nick’s fucking Ashley,” Lance said.

“Howie’s doing something with Erik,” Justin said. “What do they do, feel each other up a lot?”

“Haven’t you ever been involved with someone without a penis being inserted somewhere?” Joey asked.

“Not a guy,” Justin said. “AJ didn’t waste a lot of time before he… And Kevin…”

“Kevin and Chris kissed,” JC said. “I was so surprised, Chris just kissed him right in front of us. And Kevin kissed back like it was normal. Howie had to stop talking in mid-sentence and wait for them to stop. It was weird, I didn’t expect them to be so casual about it, like it was natural for them to kiss each other.”

“Kevin and Chris kiss?” Joey asked. “I’d pay not to see that.”

“Kevin’s started making out with Trevor,” JC said.

“Brian and Jacob still haven’t crossed the line,” Lance said.

“What’s Brian waiting for?” Joey asked. “Tell him to fuck the son-of-a-bitch so we can get this shit over with.”

“Brian was there,” Chris said. “I’m in love with him. He smiled at me.”

“Kevin talked to me,” Justin said. “Kevin talked to me, he asked me questions, we talked.”

“Kevin acknowledged Justin,” Lance said. “He admitted in front of me and Chris and Brian that he and Justin had shared a relationship. It was kind of strange, because usually he ignores Justin, like he doesn’t even see Justin right there in the room.”

“Kevin looked so strong, he looked so confident,” Justin said. “Kevin’s always so in control.”

“I don’t want to bring up anything bad, but what happened with you and Lance?” JC asked. “Lance said he pissed you off.”

“You said that I was in love with AJ! Right in front of Kevin! Right in front of him! You can’t fucking - - what the - - why would you do that?” Justin demanded. “In front of Kevin! You know how much I love him, you know-”

“Lance said that no one cares that I’m in love with Brian,” Chris said. “He said Brian doesn’t care.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything, I completely screwed up,” Lance said. “I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing.”

“I missed a hell of a lot,” Joey said.

“I didn’t know that Joey and Nick were that…comfortable with each other,” Lance said.

“It was so hard to see them together like that,” JC said.

“Joey had his head in Nick’s lap and his arms around Nick’s leg,” Chris said. “Nick was petting him. It looked weird.”

“I was so fucking tired, I was so fucking… I just wanted to pass out for a while and let the world go on without me,” Joey said.

“AJ ignored Joey the whole time,” Lance said.

“I expected AJ to pay more attention to him,” JC said. “Usually AJ acknowledges Joey more than that.”

“I wouldn’t say that AJ and Justin were all over each other, but they were a lot more comfortable with each other, physically, than I thought they would be,” Lance said.

“Kevin and Chris have a weird little dynamic,” JC said. “Kevin’s patient with him, lets him do his own thing, keeps an eye on him… When Chris got a little too interested in rearranging AJ’s cabinets, Kevin noticed it and did something about it.”

“Why are Kevin and JC suddenly best friends?” Lance asked.

“Is JC a suck-up?” Joey asked.

“Kevin talked to him, asked him questions. JC made Kevin laugh,” Justin said. “Kevin doesn’t laugh for me anymore.”

“Everyone was in love with JC,” Lance said.

“Everybody hates Lance,” Chris said. “Maybe not Brian and Howie, I wouldn’t know about that, but Kevin and AJ and Nick hate Lance.”

“Did you hear the way Lance talked to Kevin?” Justin asked.

“He had a fight with Nick,” JC said.

“I’d love to know what he said to Nick,” Joey said. “Damn, I slept through everything.”

“Kevin was so mad at Lance,” Justin said.

“Who the hell does he think he is?” Lance demanded. “He thinks he’s so fucking important, he thinks he’s running the damned show.”

“Lance is as intimidated by Kevin as we are,” Chris said. “He just won’t show it or admit it. I have no trouble admitting that Kevin scares me.”

“I woke up, and Kevin yelled at me,” Joey said. “I didn’t know what the fuck was going on. I walked in and everyone was pissed off.”

“Why is it that every time we get together, they bitch us out?” Lance demanded.

“We can’t let anyone fuck this up,” Chris said. “Not even if it’s Lance, JC, or Joey. Not even if they think that they have a good reason.”

“I’m tired of getting yelled at every time I deal with Backstreet,” Joey said.

“We let them take the lead,” JC said. “We expect them to do everything. We’re their partners in this, we should get more active.”

“This is our opportunity to grind O-Town into the dirt,” Lance said. “We can’t waste it.”

“Now that things are getting more physical with O-Town, knowing your ex-boyfriend is in bed with someone you hate should make you hate that person more,” Chris said. “The guys should be more committed than ever.”

“I can’t believe that they threatened to pull out,” Lance said.

“That was bullshit,” Joey said.

“I couldn’t tell if it was a bluff or not,” JC said. “Do you really think they’d walk away, now? After everything?”

“Were Justin and Chris telling them that the three of us would do better?” Joey asked. “Justin told Kevin that we’d do better?”

“I don’t care if they were offended or not,” Justin said. “They’re not fucking this up for me.”

“Chris and Justin,” Lance said. “We’re the major screw-ups, and the two of them are on solid ground.”

“Lance practically choked on his words when he had to promise that he’d keep them informed,” Justin said.

“Did you see Lance’s face when AJ called him expendable?” Chris asked.

“I felt so bad for him,” JC said. “And then Brian was so quick to speak up for him.”

“All night, it was like Brian was the only one in my corner,” Lance said.

“Brian was all over Lance all night,” JC said.

“Did you see that cookie sex orgy in the kitchen?” Joey asked.

“Nothing happened,” Lance said.

“It was a fucking orgy,” Joey said.

“Are you kidding me?” Justin asked.

“They were moaning, licking, rubbing each other - - what if Chris had walked in?” JC asked.

“You’re blowing this out of proportion,” Lance said.

“What if Chris had walked in on you?” Joey asked. “You saw Howie kiss JC and got so pissed off that Kevin got mad and called everybody in for a meeting. You think that Chris would do better if he saw you all over Brian?”

“I was looking out for Justin and Chris,” Lance said. “But no one else gave a fuck, JC didn’t care, you didn’t care, so I gave in, too. Weren’t you and Nick making out?”

“Nick and I kissed after JC had already gone inside,” Joey said.

“Why were you feeding Brian cookies in the first place?” JC asked. “You don’t even like Brian.”

“Brian was the only person there who was actually there for me,” Lance said. “I’m rude to him, I use him, but he’s always right there, supportive, understanding - - Brian treats me well and wants to help me.”

“He was probably just trying to piss off Howie,” Justin said.

“Howie was too busy batting his lashes at JC to care about Lance,” Joey said.

“Howie couldn’t stay away from JC,” Lance said. “It was tough for him, too, since JC was constantly surrounded by a throng of admirers.”

“I couldn’t care less what they think of me,” Joey said. “I don’t give a fuck what Kevin, Howie, Brian, or Nick say about me.”

“Do you think it’s the hair?” Chris asked. “JC has a lot of hair. And he’s not unattractive.”

“It was constant,” Joey said. “All five of them. What kind of music do you want to listen to, JC? How do you like your steak, JC? Is that seasoned well enough for you, JC? Can I get you some more punch, JC? Can I suck your dick, JC?”

“He looks good, he’s more active and involved than some of us are, he’s more sane than some of us are, he’s usually nicer to them than some of us are,” Chris said. “If I were one of them, JC would be my favorite, too.”

“They were just being nice,” JC said. “We all circulated, we all got to know each other better. Except Nick, because he got there late, and except Justin, because he kept to himself.”

“Next time, I’ll sit with Justin and stay out of it,” Lance said. “I have to learn how to stay out of it.”

“He was mad at JC because of Howie, he acted up and Kevin kicked him out of the room, he fought with Nick, he couldn’t handle seeing Howie and JC kiss, and he acted like a complete bitch during the meeting,” Justin said.

“Lance lost it,” Joey said.

“Maybe Justin and I could print up some ‘Welcome to the Crazy Club’ cards,” Chris said.

“We all expected the day to be hideous, and it wasn’t,” JC said.

“It was rough,” Justin said, “but Lance upset me more than anyone else did.”

“The only real problem was all of the tension that Lance caused,” JC said.

“He ran from room to room, creating chaos,” Chris said.

“I can’t believe the Boys didn’t do anything,” Joey said. “They had the perfect opportunity to fuck with us.”

“Maybe we’re paranoid,” JC said.

“You think that they weren’t fucking with us?” Lance asked. “All they do is fuck with us. How can you miss it?”

“Maybe Lance is wrong,” JC said.

“It sounds like Lance made the day worse than anyone else,” Joey said.

“He caused more trouble than anyone,” Justin said.

“He’s hostile,” Chris said.

“Kevin and Brian had a conversation with Justin and Chris,” JC said. “It sounds like it was getting to be a good, normal conversation. Justin didn’t freak out and mess it up. Chris didn’t mess it up. Kevin didn’t go off and ruin everything. Lance is the one who ruined it.”

“I can’t believe he fucked that up for us,” Justin said. “I wanted more! I wanted to know what else Kevin would say! I never get to be near him anymore, he never speaks to me! Kevin finally came near me and Lance took that away from me!”

“Brian is absolutely beautiful,” Chris said.

“If I have a chance to interact with Nick and I fuck that up, that’s my problem, that’s my business,” JC said. “If you have a chance to interact with AJ and I fuck it up for you, that’s not cool. We can’t do that to each other.”

“Brian talked to me,” Chris said.

“I couldn’t believe they reamed us out like that,” Joey said. “Kevin has a problem with us? I have a hell of a lot of problems with him, too.”

“I know it’s really hard for you without Brian,” JC said, “but you seem to be getting along with Kevin. It looks like he calms you down. How’s it going? How are things when it’s just the two of you alone? Are you okay?”

“Kevin’s good to me,” Chris said. “He stabilizes me. I need that a lot. I couldn’t do this without him.”

“AJ’s okay,” Justin said. “I hate him, but he helps me out. Don’t let it get back to him, but I couldn’t get through this without him.”

“Brian’s there for me when no one else is,” Lance said. “I wasn’t sure what to think about him. I’m still not.”

“Nick’s an ass,” Joey said. “But he’s kind of hot, and he’s good in bed, and he has some good ideas. I try to put up with him.”

“Howie’s a good partner,” JC said. “We work well together. There’s nothing more than that to it. I wish that Lance understood.”

“Kevin said that we could all learn a lot from Chris,” Joey said. “Chris doesn’t even have his own shit together. What can he teach us?”

“They were right about dinner,” JC said.

“JC’s blind,” Lance said. “They have him right where they want him and he’s falling for it. I don’t trust it and I’m not sure we can trust him.”

“Lance is paranoid,” JC said.

“You don’t think that every move, every second of that barbecue was calculated and staged for our benefit?” Lance asked.

“I never know what to think,” Justin said.

“Brian was there,” Chris said. “He looked beautiful.”

Continue on to part forty-eight

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