Sucker

Copyright November 24, 2002-July 22, 2005 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Continued from part forty...


            Justin moaned softly as he kissed AJ, sliding his hands over AJ’s pecs.  “We shouldn’t do this.”  Joey...

            “We’re not doing anything,” AJ said, stroking Justin’s erection through his underwear, making him groan.  AJ’s free hand fumbled on the coffee table, locating the remote.  “We’re just dancing,” he said, turning up the volume as music started.

            “Dancing,” Justin repeated, hips picking up a subtle rocking rhythm.

            “Just dancing,” AJ said, and kissed him.


            “How was your night?” Lance asked Chris.

            “My night?” Chris asked.

            “How was Kevin?” JC asked, gently tugging the guide from Chris’s hands.

            “He was fine,” Chris said.  “I’m sure he’ll be glad to know that you asked about him.”

            “What do the two of you do together?” Lance asked.

            “You look different,” JC said, now that Chris was directly facing him.  “It’s…”

            “We had our eyebrows waxed,” Chris said.  “My ass, too.  They trimmed our facial hair.  Our pubic hair, too.  And I had a nice massage.”

            “You went to a spa?” Lance asked in disbelief.

            “No, they came to Kevin’s house,” Chris said.  “I usually hate all of that fancy grooming stuff, but I like to look good for Brian.”

            “You do look good,” JC said.

“Kevin set up a personal spa in his house to wax your ass?” Lance asked.

            “I’m not going to show it to you,” Chris said.  “Do you think I look good?” he asked Lance.

            “You always look good,” Lance said.

            “Can you tell Brian that?”

            “Brian’s met you,” Lance said.  “I’m sure he’s already noticed.”

            Chris twisted his fingers together.  “You think so?”


            Dan checked his watch.  Justin hadn’t answered his call.  But Justin was probably spending time with the guys, and would be okay.  “I have to run some errands,” he told Ashley.  “Are you going to be here?”

            “Yeah, probably,” Ashley said.  “Why?”

            “If Justin calls here, tell him to call my cell phone.”

            “Okay,” Ashley said.

            “Thanks,” Dan said.


            “If you want to learn about me, I can give you my bio sheet,” Joey said.  “Or you can look me up on-line.”

            “I want to learn about you from you,” Nick said.  “I want to know what you think is important about your history, what you’ve learned about your life.”

            “I’ve learned to stay the hell away from you,” Joey said, and started to get up.

            “Hey, no, no,” Nick said, and climbed right on top of him, forcing him back down.  “Stay right here and tell me everything.”

            “Nick, get off of me,” Joey said.

            “You’re going to get used to me being on you, and you’re going to love it,” Nick said, situating himself comfortably astride Joey’s lap.  “Don’t act like I haven’t been here before.”

            Joey’s hands slid back Nick’s thighs to cup his ass.  “Yeah, but you were getting me off.”

            “So I’ll get you off when we’re finished talking,” Nick said.  “Get started.  You were born in January, on the 28th, in 1977.  Were you an exceptionally hairy baby?”


            Jacob and Brian were sitting side-by-side at the pool, splashing their feet in the deep end.  “You okay?” Jacob asked.

            “It bothers me,” Brian said.

            “What does?” Jacob asked.  Anything that bothered Brian, bothered him.

            Brian looked at him.  Brian had the most amazing eyes.  “I don’t like that Ashley thinks that Nick and Joey’s relationship is only based on sex.”

            “He only sees it from one angle,” Jacob said.  “And maybe Joey’s given him that impression, to lead him on.  It looks to me like Joey likes having Ashley around, and giving Ashley hope is a good way to keep him from wising up and leaving.”

            “Nick and Joey are in love,” Brian said.  “Very real, very serious love.  That should be obvious to anyone.”

            “Ashley’s only seeing what he wants to see,” Jacob said.

            “He’s going to get hurt,” Brian said.  “You’re very close to him, and I don’t want you to see him go through that.”

            “Ashley’s been hurt before,” Jacob said.  “It happens to all of us.”

            Brian’s gaze wandered Jacob’s face.  “I don’t want it to happen to you,” he said softly, raising his fingers to Jacob’s hair.

            “That doesn’t seem to be an immediate problem,” Jacob said.  “Unless you’re planning something?” he asked with a grin.

            “I’d never hurt you,” Brian said, stroking Jacob’s temple.  “Never.”

            Jacob’s heart beat faster at the love in Brian’s gaze.  “I know,” he said, wanting to close his eyes to luxuriate in Brian’s touch.


            “Stop spying on people,” Ashley said, poking Erik in the back.

            “Have you ever really looked at Jacob and Brian?” Erik whispered, still peeking.

            “Yeah,” Ashley said.  “I guess.  Why?”

            “Do you think that Jacob’s realized that Brian treats him like a girlfriend?”

            Ashley snickered.  “Are you serious?”

            “Brian touches him like they’re fucking or something.  And the other day, I heard Brian tell Jacob that he loves him.”

            “I’ve told Jacob that I love him,” Ashley said.  “So have you.”

            “Yeah,” Erik said, turning to face Ashley.  “But have you ever said it to a guy who wasn’t in O-Town?”

            Ashley thought about it.  “No,” he admitted.  “Not except Joey.”

            “Who you’re fucking,” Erik said.

            Ashley frowned.  “What’s your point?”

            “I think Brian and Jacob are boyfriend and girlfriend,” Erik said.

            “Why not boyfriend and boyfriend?” Ashley asked.

            “Brian’s straight,” Erik said.  “That makes Jacob the girl.”

            “You’re so stupid,” Ashley said, laughing.  “They’re just friends.”

            “Oh, oh, Ashley,” Erik said, stroking Ashley’s hair.  “Oh, Ashley, you’re so wonderful, let’s sleep in the same bed, I just love you so much.”

            “Get off of me!” Ashley insisted, laughing, pushing Erik away.

            “Did that sounds like just friends to you?” Erik asked.

            “It sounds like you need a girlfriend,” Ashley said, ruffling his hair back into position.

            “Yeah.”  Erik grinned.  “Maybe.”


            Trevor pretended that his hands weren’t shaking as he stepped inside and closed the front door.  “Hi.”

            “Thanks for coming over.”  Kevin was wearing old jeans and a white undershirt.  He looked hot, sexy, with a great body.  And he was smiling.  Trevor grinned like an idiot right back at him.  “How’ve you been?”

            “Great,” Trevor said, gazing at Kevin like a lovesick fool.  Trevor knew that he was embarrassing himself, but Kevin was right there in front of him smiling directly at him, asking him how he was.  Kevin had invited him over!  It was like winning the lottery.  “What can I do for you?”

            “I thought it would be a good change to wallpaper the study,” Kevin said.  “Have you ever hung wallpaper before?”

            “Once,” Trevor said.

            “This is your chance to back out,” Kevin said.  “I won’t hold it against you.”

            He’d never let Kevin down.  “No, it sounds great,” he said, trying to sound confident and not weak from fan love.  “Do you have everything, or should I go get it?”

            “It’s all back in the study,” Kevin said.  “I got it all set up.”

            Trevor followed Kevin through the house.  “Why didn’t you hire someone to do it for you?”

            “I wanted to try it myself,” Kevin said, as they entered the study.  “I thought it might be a fun activity for us to do together.”

            Trevor had no idea how to respond to that.  Was Kevin…  Had Kevin just…  Did…  How could he possibly ask if Kevin was hitting on him?  All he could think of was that Kevin wanted to be friends, but Kevin already had friends.  Great friends.  Maybe not friends who’d help Kevin hang wallpaper, but Trevor wouldn’t have pictured Kevin hanging wallpaper, either.

            Except, Kevin was.  With him.


            Howie’s kisses were deep and hungry, and Howie’s hands were - - whoa! - - awfully friendly for a simple hello kiss.  “Let me guess,” Erik said, disengaging.  “You miss JC.”

            “It’s good to see you,” Howie said, running quick fingers over his arm.

            “It’s good to see you, too,” Erik said.  “Did you talk to JC?”

            “I called him last night,” Howie said, sitting on the sofa.  “I told him that I really wanted to talk to him, and he came over this morning.”

            “That’s great!” Erik exclaimed.  “What did you talk about?”

            “We argued,” Howie said.  “He was barely in the door before we were fighting.  He doesn’t trust me, but I can’t make him see that I would never lie to him.”

            “You just have to keep trying,” Erik said, refusing to let one setback dishearten him.  “Did you talk about anything good?”

            “He mentioned that he took you to dinner last night,” Howie said, fingers gently circling Erik’s wrist.  “How was it?”

“Oh, dinner was great,” Erik said.  “Lance was kind of a jerk, but JC said he was just having a bad day.”

            “Lance was rude to you?” Howie asked, stroking Erik’s pulse.

            “He was an asshole the whole night.  I don’t know why JC’s so close to him.  And Joey was feeling Ashley up the whole time, like they were in a dark corner in some club instead of at an expensive dinner.  JC’s so much better than they are.”

            “But you still had a good time?” Howie asked.

            “JC was there,” Erik said.  “I had a great time.”

            Howie smiled.  “I know exactly what you mean.”

            “After dinner, they took us back home.  Joey made Ashley drive him home, and then Lance made JC leave.  So I spent the rest of the night talking to Brian.”  Erik grinned.  “Is it true that Kevin threatened to shave you bald after Nick and Brian made him think you were the one who dyed all of his white shirts bright yellow?”

            Howie laughed.  “That was years ago!  What else did Brian tell you?”


            Running errands.  Nice, normal, mundane activity.  No worrying about Justin, no worrying about Ashley or Trevor or anyone else.

            In the drive-through line at the bank, Dan flipped stations on the radio.  No, no, no, no, “Maybe I’m a drifter, maybe-”  The sound of AJ’s voice startled Dan into turning the radio off completely.

            AJ.

            Dan didn’t like to think about AJ unless AJ was in the room with him at the moment.  He preferred not to dwell on the subject unless it was directly presented to him.

            But he was going to have to start making plans.  Making decisions.

            AJ was a man.  AJ walked like a man, talked like a man, moved like a man.

            AJ was built like a man.  Had a dick and balls instead of the sweet, wet welcome Dan was used to.  Had hard, firm muscle where Dan was used to soft, round breasts.  Had facial hair where Dan was used to soft, smooth skin.

            AJ wanted to fuck like a man.  Wanted to fuck him.

            Considering how aggressive AJ was, Dan couldn’t imagine how aggressively AJ fucked.  If AJ took a relatively simple handjob to that extreme, what would actual fucking be like?  Dan wouldn’t be able to sit down for months.

            He had to delay that actual act for as long as he possibly could.

            Which meant that he’d have to distract AJ with other sexual acts.

            He could fuck AJ.  It wasn’t something he looked forward to, but it was an option.  An even less palatable option was learning how to give head.  The idea of AJ’s dick pushing aggressively between his lips - - Dan’s mind rebelled.

            For now, he’d try to keep things as they were.  But if AJ started to demand more, he’d have to try new tactics.  He’d drag his feet as long as he could.  But, someday, AJ was going to make that one last demand.

            AJ couldn’t possibly be that rough and that aggressive during the actual act of fucking, could he?

            If anyone would know, Justin would.  But Dan couldn’t ask him about it.  Dan couldn’t even ask Trevor or Ashley about what to expect or how to prepare for it, because they’d wonder why he wanted the information.  What could he say in response?

            If he asked AJ to take it slowly for his sake, AJ might be inclined to be more rough, just to be a jackass.

            He was alone in this.  He’d have to make his way through it as best he could, without guidance.  But he’d be okay.  He’d get through it.  He’d take on anything, for Justin.


            Joey grinned as Nick laughed.  For an arrogant son-of-a-bitch, Nick was really damned attractive.

            “So, what’d you tell her?” Nick asked, still sitting on him, leaning against him comfortably.

            Joey had one arm wrapped around Nick’s waist, his other hand on Nick’s thigh.  It was almost impossible for him to be touched and not touch back.  “I told her it was a medical condition.”

            Nick laughed again, Nick’s body shaking against his.  “Did she believe you?”


            Lance opened the front door.  “It’s Justin!” he called.

            “Hey, come in here,” JC called back.

            “How are you?” Lance asked Justin, closing the door.

            “Is Joey here?” Justin asked.

            “No,” Lance said.  “Chris is.”

            “I had sex with AJ,” Justin said.  “Can you tell?”

            “It’s not written on your forehead,” Lance said.  “No, I can’t tell.”

            “There aren’t any marks or anything?” Justin asked, raising his shirt.

            “What are you so worried about?” Lance asked.

            “If he left anything on me, Dan would see it,” Justin said.  “I can’t explain that.”

            “I don’t see anything,” Lance said, pulling Justin’s shirt back down.  “Except around your nipples, but that’ll fade.”

            Justin touched his mouth self-consciously.  “Are you sure?”

            “I’m sure,” Lance said.  “If you’re that worried about it, if Dan ever says anything, just tell him you had sex.”

            “With who?” Justin asked.

            “That’s none of his business,” Lance said.

            “I don’t like lying to Dan,” Justin said.

            “Why?” Lance asked.

            “Because he’s been supportive, helpful, encouraging, and completely unselfish,” Justin said.  “Dan wants to help me, he wants me to get back everything I lost, he’s always there for me on a moment’s notice.  Dan barely even knew me, but when he saw that I needed help, he jumped right in.  Dan protects me.”

            “From a problem you’re not even having,” Lance said.

            “If he knew about Kevin, he’d do everything he could for me,” Justin said.  “I think.”

            “You think?” Lance asked.

            “Right now, Dan thinks that I was innocent and AJ abused and terrorized me,” Justin said.  “If he found out about Kevin, about what I did for Kevin, about what I’ve done…  Dan’s a good person.  He wouldn’t understand why I did what I did.”

            “You did it because Kevin made you scared and desperate,” Lance said.  “You put yourself through hell for him.  That’s not your fault, that’s Kevin’s fault.”

            “I’m not innocent,” Justin said.  “You can’t blame it all on him.  I was there, I did it.”

            “Because you thought that you had to,” Lance said.  “Because he took all alternatives away from you.  When he removes all other options, and giving in is all you have left, that’s not you making choices.  That’s you being forced into your own destruction.”

            “It wasn’t like that,” Justin insisted.  “I love Kevin.”

            “He knew that, and he used it against you,” Lance said.

            “Are you guys okay?” JC asked, walking into the foyer.  “Come in and sit down.”

            “Why is it so different?” Justin asked, walking past JC and into the room where Chris was already seated.  “Because you think Kevin’s worse than everyone else?  Because I was younger than the rest of you?  You’re making it sound like you fell in love and got hurt, you fell in love and were betrayed, but then you’re acting like I was raped and molested and abused and victimized.  Why is it all that different?  I fell in love with someone who didn’t love me back.  The same thing happened to you!  Nick acted like he loved you, Howie said he was in love with you, Kevin didn’t even pretend to love me!  I wasn’t even betrayed like you were.”

            “You gave yourself to him so completely,” Lance said.

            “So did you,” Justin snapped.

            “Yeah.”  Lance looked down.  “I guess I did.”


            The doorbell rang.

            Ashley got up from the sofa, walking to the front door.  Putting his hand on the knob, he checked the - - it was AJ.

            Ashley took a step back.

            Dan was out.  Trevor and Erik were out.  Jacob was home, with Brian, but they were back in the guest house.

            A fist pounded on the door.

            The door was locked.

            Why was he hiding in his own house?  Because he was afraid of AJ?  He couldn’t even assume that AJ had come to see him.  And if AJ did try anything, so what?

            He’d seen AJ attack Jacob, and it had scared him.  He hadn’t expected it, and it had been so sudden, so violent…  Coming right on the heels of Justin strangling Jacob, it had been a little too much, all at once.

            He was tired of letting other people determine what happened to him.  He wanted to stand up for himself, for once.  He couldn’t tell Joey off without risking that relationship; he hadn’t managed to tell Nick off successfully.  But he hadn’t done anything to AJ, none of them had, and AJ had no right to show up at their house threatening anyone.

            Ashley yanked the door open.  “What?!”

            AJ stormed past him, kicking the door shut and striding farther into the house before turning to face him.  “Where were you last night?”

            Maybe AJ really was here to see him.  Damn.  “Why do you care where I spend my time?”

            “Because when you parade your well-used ass in public with Joey, it makes Nick look bad,” AJ said.  “I don’t like it when anyone makes Nick look bad,” he continued, walking in closer to Ashley.  “I especially don’t like it when slutting whores like you make Nick look bad.”

            “That’s Nick’s problem,” Ashley said.

            “No.”  AJ bared his teeth.  “It’s your problem.”


            Joey laughed.  “Did the interviewer even bother to translate that?”

            “I don’t think so,” Nick said.  “But I did get a hell of a lot of French fan mail after that.”  He climbed off of Joey, sitting beside him.  “Here, got on top of me.”

            “For what?” Joey asked.

            “For practice,” Nick said.  “So you’re comfortable touching me.”  He pulled, so Joey complied, settling astride him.  “Damn, your ass is heavy,” Nick said.

            “Get used to it,” Joey said.

            Nick grinned.  “That’s the idea.”  He slid his hands into Joey’s back pockets, tilting his head against the back of the sofa, relaxing under Joey.  “Tell me more about Brooklyn.”


            The wallpaper was a striped pattern, cream and a dark brown that perfectly matched Kevin’s mahogany desk.  The room was larger than any study had a right to be, but the paper was going up pretty well.

            “No wrinkles so far,” Trevor said, standing back and surveying their work.

            “Is it straight?” Kevin asked.

            “It looks even,” Trevor said.

            “Thanks for your help,” Kevin said.

            “Don’t thank me yet,” Trevor said.  “We still have three walls to go.”


            Dan was in the produce aisle when his phone rang.  He answered quickly, hoping for Justin.  “Hello?”


            “I was right,” AJ said.  “The blond one’s a bleeder.”


            “Fuck you,” Dan said, pushing aside his basket and hanging up, rushing for the exit.


            “Tell me the truth,” Erik said, closing Howie’s refrigerator.  “I’m not that good of a judge.  Is JC the sexiest man on the planet?”

            Howie laughed.  “Yes.  He definitely is.”

            “I knew it.”  Erik leaned against the table.  “What do you think it is about him that’s so damned sexy?  Is it his body?”

            “It’s his attitude,” Howie said.  “It’s his personality.  JC has a great body, there’s absolutely no denying it, but he has a fantastic smile.  He has so much confidence, but at the same time, he’s humble.  He’s brilliant, he has such a creative mind.  Sex isn’t all about your body, it’s about how you present yourself, how you carry yourself.  JC’s so beautiful inside, all of that comes through and shines on the outside.”

            “I like the way his eyes disappear when he smiles,” Erik said.

            “And the way he always laughs a beat too late,” Howie said with a smile of his own.

            “He’s so sweet and shy and diplomatic sometimes,” Erik said.  “And so bold and confident and hot the rest of the time.”

            “JC’s like no one else,” Howie said.

            “Are all guys that incredible in bed?” Erik asked.

            Howie laughed.  “No, they’re not.  JC’s very, very special.”

            “God, I knew it.”  Erik shook his head.  “You must be going nuts without him.”

            “I am,” Howie said.  He smiled with regret as he took Erik’s hand.  “I really miss JC.  He’s become so important to me, such a unique and irreplaceable part of my life.  I didn’t expect to find him, and now that I’ve fallen in love with him…  I just can’t imagine ever letting go.”


            Dan burst into the house.  “Ashley!  Ashley!”  He ran upstairs.  “Ashley!”  Damn it, where the hell was everyone?!  “Ashley!”  He ran back downstairs and past the pool, knocking on Jacob’s door.  “Jacob!”

            The door opened.  “What is wrong?” Jacob demanded.

            “Ashley,” Dan panted, out of breath.  “Where is he?”

            “I don’t know,” Jacob said.  “Is he in his room?”

            “I can’t find him.  What did AJ do?”

            “AJ?” Jacob asked.

            “AJ called me,” Dan said.  “I was at the store and he called, he said the blond one’s a bleeder.  I can’t find Ashley.  His car’s gone, but where would he go?”

            “AJ didn’t kidnap him,” Jacob said.  “Just relax, breathe.”  He left the doorway, going back into his room to get his phone.

            Dan saw Brian sitting on Jacob’s bed.  “How can you let him run around threatening people?” he asked.  “How can you let him run around assaulting people?”

            “I can’t control AJ,” Brian said.  “He’s upset about Justin, he-”

            “I’m so fucking tired of that excuse,” Dan said.  “I don’t care how upset he is, that doesn’t give him the right to take it out on everyone else.”

            “Maybe you aren’t aware of how much AJ loves Justin,” Brian said.

            “He’s not answering his cell,” Jacob said.  “Are you sure that AJ actually came here?  Maybe he was just trying to scare you, and Ashley’s out doing something.  If his car’s gone-”

            “You didn’t hear anything?” Dan asked.

            “The doorbell rang,” Brian said.

            “It did,” Jacob remembered.  “It could have been anyone,” he told Dan.

            Dan forced himself to think logically.  AJ wouldn’t have dragged Ashley out of the house.  AJ seemed to prefer to strike, cause a scene, and leave once the point had been made.  The only person he did more with was Justin.  Therefore, if AJ had shown up, he would have attacked Ashley and left.  If Ashley wasn’t in the house now, he’d left under his own power, separately.

            “Let me know if you hear anything,” he told Jacob.  “I’m going to make some calls.”

            “Do you-”

            “No, it’s okay,” Dan said.  “I’m sure Ashley’s fine.  AJ just likes to get me rattled.”  He left, going up to his own room.

            He called Ashley.  No answer.  “Ash, it’s Dan.  Give me a call when you get this.”

            He called Justin.  No answer.  “Justin, it’s Dan.  Please call me as soon as you get this message.”

            He debated calling AJ, but what would be the point?  If he called demanding to know what had happened, he’d be giving AJ power, letting AJ know how upset he was.  He’d wait until he’d seen and talked to Ashley, and then he’d decide how to approach AJ.

            Where the hell was Ashley?


            Nick was moaning, kneading his ass and sounding very turned on.  Joey moaned back, liking the way Nick sounded, loving the way Nick kissed.  He opened his own fly, pushing Nick’s hand into his pants, and Nick’s fingers closed around his erection, squeezing him through his underwear, groaning.

            The doorbell rang.

            “Ignore it,” Nick said, kissing him.

            Joey was hard, and Nick’s hand was right there on him, and Nick’s mouth was-

            The doorbell rang.

            “Fuck off,” Nick whispered, reaching inside his underwear and rubbing him skin on skin, fisting him almost fast enough to get him off.

            The doorbell rang.

            “It could be Justin,” Joey said.

            Nick licked his own lips, slowly, wetly.  His mouth was so red and his tongue was so…  Joey’s dick twitched in Nick’s hand.  “Ignore it.”

            Joey couldn’t resist.  He kissed Nick hungrily, rocking roughly into Nick’s fist, moaning as-

            The doorbell rang.

            “Fuck it!” Nick shouted.  “Go, go get it,” he snapped, pushing Joey off of him.  “Tell whoever it is to go the fuck away.”

            “Damn it.”  Joey forced his dick back into his pants, cursing and limping to the door.  He pulled the door open and stared.  “What happened to you?”

            Ashley was so mad his hands were clenched.  “Is Nick here?”

            “Yeah,” Joey said.  “Pretty, what happened to you?”

            “Can I talk to him?” Ashley asked, not deviating from the plan he’d apparently decided on.

            “Yeah, come in,” Joey said.  He stared, bewildered, as Ashley walked past him.  There was bruising on either side of Ashley’s jaw, and blood at the corner of his mouth.  “Hold on,” Joey said, “I’ll go get him.”

            “Get who?” Nick asked, coming down the hallway.  “Hey, who fucked you up?”

            “Come here,” Ashley said, glaring at Nick.

            “For what?” Nick asked.

            “Come here,” Ashley repeated, his tone more forceful than Joey had thought he was capable of.

            “Yeah, okay,” Nick said, playing along, walking closer.

            Ashley backhanded Nick right across the face.

            “Fuck!” Nick shouted, stepping back.  “What the fuck-”

            “If you have a problem with me, you bring it to me,” Ashley snapped.  “If you have a problem with how much time I spend with Joey, or where Joey and I spend that time, then you tell me about it.  You never had trouble admitting that you had a problem with me before, so I don’t know why you have to go behind my back now.”

            “What the fuck are you talking about?!” Nick yelled.  “And you’d better answer fast, because I have no trouble hitting back.”

            “AJ came to my house today,” Ashley said.  “He thinks that Joey and I eating a meal together with several other friends made you look bad.”

            “AJ?” Joey asked.

            “AJ did that to you?” Nick asked.

            “You don’t have to send your friends after me to threaten me,” Ashley said.  “If you think that it’s going to scare me into leaving Joey alone, you don’t know the first thing about me.  I’m in love with Joey, and being harassed isn’t going to make that love disappear.  Maybe you need to threaten me because my presence in Joey’s life threatens you.”

            “I didn’t send AJ after you,” Nick said.  “I haven’t even talked to AJ about last night.  Maybe he heard it from someone else.”

            “Who else would he have heard about it from?” Ashley demanded.

            “Hell, who else knew?” Nick asked.  “I appreciate the thought, but I don’t need AJ to slap you around.  I can take care of you on my own.”

            “What did he do?” Joey asked.  “What did he say?  Are you all right?”

            “Tell your goons to stay the hell away from me,” Ashley told Nick.

            “I already told you that I had nothing to do with it,” Nick snapped.  “And you’re lucky I don’t take you out myself, for hitting me like that.”

            “Try it,” Ashley shot back.

            “Hey,” Joey said, pulling Ashley closer, away from Nick.

            “I’m going home,” Ashley said.  “Call me later,” he told Joey.  “Fuck you,” he said to Nick.

            “You hit like a girl,” Nick said, as Ashley left.

            “Shit,” Joey said.  “Shit!”

            “I wonder what AJ said to him,” Nick said.  “Whatever it was, it finally made his balls drop.”

            “I have to call AJ,” Joey said.

            “No, you have to go after Ashley,” Nick said.  “I’ll talk to AJ.”

            “I-”

            “Go after Ashley,” Nick repeated firmly.  “Go.  Go!  You can try calling AJ later.  Right now, you have a pretty little girl to kiss all better.”

            Joey didn’t understand it.  “Why did AJ-”

            “To piss off Dan,” Nick said.  “No, it’s not about you, so get over yourself.  Go!”


            Erik snaked his arm around Howie’s waist, coaxing Howie closer against his side as Howie changed channels.  “What are we watching?”

            “Anything that interests you.”  Howie stopped.  “How about this?”

            Erik coughed.  “Well, that interests me.”  He waited for Howie to switch to another channel, but that didn’t happen.  “You want to watch porn?” he asked, glancing at Howie.  “Straight porn?”

            “Not particularly,” Howie said.  “But I’m curious.”

            “About straight sex?” Erik asked.  “Shouldn’t you understand that by now?”

            “I’m curious about you,” Howie said, setting aside the remote and putting a hand on his thigh.

            “Oh.”  Erik licked his lips, not sure whether to pay more attention to Howie’s curiosity or the action onscreen.

            “I’d like to see you with women,” Howie said.  “I love watching you with JC, but you must be so different with women.  So sure of yourself, so confident.  So much in your element.”

            “It’s different,” Erik admitted, unable to take his gaze from, oh, damn…

            “You must love fucking women,” Howie murmured, turning to face him, hand sliding upward.

            “Mm-hmm, yeah,” Erik said, absently slipping a hand under Howie’s shirt.

            “I’d love to see you,” Howie said, hand finding the hard bulge of Erik’s erection, tongue finding the soft flesh of Erik’s earlobe.  “You must be so good.  So hot.”

            Erik wasn’t following this conversation at all.  “What are we talking about?”

            Howie’s hand came to his jaw, turning his face until he was looking directly into Howie’s eyes.  “I want to watch you fuck a woman.”

            Whoa.  What?  “Are you sure?”

            “I want to see you doing what comes naturally to you,” Howie said.  “I want to see you in your element.  I want to see you living out your sexuality to its fullest.”

            As weird as it sounded to Erik’s ears, it seemed like Howie was telling him the truth.  There was fascination in Howie’s eyes.  “You really want to watch that?” he asked, just to make sure.

            “Yes,” Howie said.

            “How exactly would that work?” Erik asked.  “I don’t know too many girls who’d let me do them with some other guy in the room, watching.”  Howie’s hand was still between his legs, and even though it wasn’t moving, it was incredibly distracting.  Erik shifted it to his knee.

            “You could use a video camera,” Howie said.

            “I don’t know too many girls who’d go for that, either.”

            “They don’t have to know about it.”

            Erik frowned.  “Isn’t that…”  Really immoral?

            Howie kissed him, hand sliding up his thigh again.  “I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

            That was good to, whoa, know.  Jesus.  “This really turns you on,” Erik said, as Howie’s hands rid him of his shirt.

            “I want to know all of you,” Howie said, stroking his chest, lips soft against his neck.  “This is a large part of your identity.”

            “I am good at it,” Erik admitted.

            Howie laughed, kissing his mouth.  “I don’t doubt that.”


            Dan heard the front door shut, and got up, hurrying down the stairs.  “Ashley?”

            Ashley was marching towards the staircase.  “I opened the door.”

            “What happened?” Dan asked.  “Damn it, I - - I’m sorry, Ashley, I-”

            “Ashley?”  Joey came in the front door.  “Ashley-”

            “Are you okay?” Dan asked Ashley.

            “Pretty, I’m sorry,” Joey said, coming to join them at the foot of the stairs.  “I had no idea-”

            “I’m not a whore!” Ashley shouted.

            Dan blinked.

            Joey took a step back.

            “I’m not a desperate, worthless cunt!” Ashley shouted.  “I’m a man, I’m a human being!  I’m in love!”

            “We know that,” Dan said softly.

            “Is that what he said to you?” Joey asked.

            “I shouldn’t have opened the door,” Ashley told Dan.  “You’re right, I shouldn’t have let him in.  I thought, how bad will it really be?  I wanted to test myself, I wanted to prove to myself that I can stand up and fight back like you and Jacob.  So I opened the door.”

            “What happened?” Dan asked.

            “He let me know he doesn’t appreciate me trying to steal Nick’s boyfriend,” Ashley said.  “Why is it any of his business what I do?  If Nick doesn’t like it, that’s between Nick and Joey and me.”

            “I’m sorry,” Dan said.  “I know it doesn’t make sense, but everything AJ said to you today doesn’t mean anything.  He’s trying to get a rise out of me, he wants me to react, and he’s using my friends to get to me.”

            “If Nick didn’t talk to AJ last night, who did?” Ashley asked Joey.  “Brian?  Hell, why do I even believe what Nick said?”

            “Nick didn’t know about last night until I told him this morning,” Joey said.  “He didn’t have a chance to talk to AJ.”

            “I’m sorry,” Dan said.  “Are you okay?”

            “I almost shit myself,” Ashley said.  “He scared the fuck out of me.  I had no idea he could be so…intimidating.  He’s dangerous.  But as soon as he was gone, I was furious with myself.  How could I let him get to me?”

            “He’s very intense,” Dan said.  “It’s not your fault.  He knows how to radiate a lot of dark energy.”

            “I didn’t know people could growl like that,” Ashley said, touching his jaw.  “He sounded like an animal or something.”

            “He thinks he’s a jungle cat,” Dan said.  “Ignore it.”

            Joey raised his eyebrows.

            “You might want to go tell Jacob you’re okay,” Dan said.  “I think I scared him.”

            “Yeah, he left three messages on my phone,” Ashley said.

            “And here he comes,” Dan said.

            “Ash, are you okay?” Jacob asked, walking over and pulling Ashley from between Dan and Joey, closer to himself.  “What happened?”

            “AJ had to defend Nick’s honor,” Ashley said, as Jacob touched his face and inspected the damage.  “I’m okay, it’s not that serious.  Although I just hit Nick, so that probably doesn’t make AJ any more fond of me.”

            “You hit Nick?” Dan asked.

            “You’re okay?” Jacob asked, looking into Ashley’s eyes.

            “I’m fine,” Ashley said.  “It’s just my turn to be AJ’s punching bag.”

            “What are you doing about this?” Jacob asked Joey.

            “What am I doing about this?” Joey repeated.

            “Ashley’s being targeted for being with you,” Jacob said.  “It’s your responsibility to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

            “Why don’t you talk to Brian about it?” Joey asked.  “AJ’s his friend.”

            “Why don’t you talk to your boyfriend about it?” Jacob demanded.

            “It’s okay,” Ashley told Jacob.  “I talked to Nick.  Dan said it’s not even about me, it’s about him and Justin.”

            “This is fucking unacceptable,” Jacob told Dan.  “You do whatever you have to do to keep AJ under control.”

            “No one controls AJ,” Joey said.

            Dan saw the fire in Jacob’s eyes and nodded.  “I’ll do what I have to do.”

            “Good.”  Jacob glared at Joey.  “You got Ashley into this.  The least you could do is take better care of him.”

            “I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” Ashley said.

            “That’s what people do when they care about each other,” Jacob said.

            “Joey cares about me,” Ashley argued.

            “Really?” Jacob asked.  “How can you tell?”

            “Hey,” Joey said sharply.  “You’ve made your point, now fuck off.  My friendship with Ashley is none of your business.”

            “When Ashley comes home look like this, it’s my business,” Jacob said.

            “I told you, I’m okay,” Ashley said.  “AJ’s an asshole but I’m over it, I’m done with it.  I went to Nick, I said what I had to say, now I just want to go upstairs and be by myself for a while.”

            “Okay,” Dan said.

            “Fine,” Jacob said, backing down.

            Ashley had to pass Joey at the foot of the staircase.  As he did so, Joey caught his hand.  “Mind if I come with you?”

            Ashley looked into Joey’s eyes and couldn’t say no.  “What about Nick?”

            “Nick can take care of himself,” Joey said.  “I want to be here.  Taking care of you.”

            Ashley had to smile.  “Okay,” he said, and pulled Joey upstairs behind him.

            “I want him out of Ashley’s life,” Jacob said to Dan as soon as they heard Ashley’s door close.

            “Ashley really is in love with him,” Dan said.

            “Maybe,” Jacob said.  “I haven’t seen him deserve it.”


            While Erik, worn out, took a quick nap by his side, Howie checked his messages, stroking Erik’s back.  Among the usual updates, questions, and call me’s, he heard something interesting from Lance.

            “Since you love fucking JC so much, I thought you might like to fuck me, too.  It’d be nice to have someone do it right before that mangy bitch Jacob touches me.  Let me know.”

            Lance’s tone was defensive; he had a way of using anger as a shield when he was most afraid.  Afraid of the acts to come, afraid of the implications, afraid of making himself vulnerable again to anyone for even a second.  Afraid of Howie’s rejection.

            Howie’s hand skimmed Erik’s ass as he considered his options.


            While Jacob was out of the room, Brian called Lance.

            “Hello.”

            “I’d like to see you today,” Brian said, slightly nervous, speaking a little too quickly.  “If you’re not too busy, maybe we could meet at your place.  I haven’t been there in a while, and I’d like to-”

            “Fine,” Lance said, cutting him off.  “Now?”

            “Now would be great,” Brian said, putting warmth into his voice.  “I’ll meet you there.”

            “Great.  Bye.”

            “Good-bye,” Brian said, and hung up, reaching for his shoes and socks.  As he was lacing his sneakers, Jacob came back into the room.

            “Ashley’s back,” Jacob said.  “AJ got to him, throwing some kind of fit about him and Joey and Nick.”

            “Is he okay?” Brian asked, rising, concerned.

            “He says he’s fine,” Jacob said.  “I can’t believe that motherfucker came into our house again!  To fuck up Ashley!”

            “Jacob, I’m so sorry,” Brian said.  “Lance just called me and I have to go, this is really bad timing.  I’ll talk to AJ, I’ll do what I can.”

            Jacob didn’t say anything in response to the first part of what Brian had said, but anger did flash across his face in reaction to Lance’s name.  “Good luck with that,” he said.  “I don’t know AJ that well, but I don’t think he responds to logic.”

            “I’m sorry,” Brian said, putting a hand on his arm.  “Are you okay?”

            “I’m fine,” Jacob said.  “It’s Ashley I’m worried about.  And who’s next, is it Erik’s turn?”

            “I’ll talk to him,” Brian promised.  “I’ll call you, all right?”

            “Yeah,” Jacob said.

            Brian embraced him.  “Tell Ashley I’m sorry.”


            On his bed, on his back, Ashley closed his eyes and let the warmth of Joey’s body against his soothe him.  “I’m sorry I hit Nick.  I’m sure he’ll make me pay for that.”

            “Forget about Nick,” Joey said, gently stroking his stomach through his shirt.  “I’ll keep him away from you until he’s over it.”

            “Does that mean no more three-ways?” Ashley asked.

            “I love sharing you with Nick,” Joey said.  “I love sharing Nick with you.  I love it when he watches me fuck you, when he sees the way you respond to me.”

            “Because whoring me out in front of your boyfriend makes you look like such a man,” Ashley said.

            “Hey.”  Joey’s hand stopped on his chest.  “What was that?”

            Ashley opened his eyes but avoided looking directly at Joey.  “Something AJ said to me.  It’s true, though, isn’t it?”  He met Joey’s eyes; Joey looked pissed off.  “You look like more of a man in front of Nick, you look like such a player, such a pimp, getting me to-”

            “Stop,” Joey said.  “Shut up.  I don’t ever want to hear you say that.  I’m not pimping you out for anyone.  I love you, and I’d never do that to you.  I love Nick, and he loves me, and I don’t have anything to prove to him.”

            “You can’t love two people,” Ashley said, unsure.

            “The hell I can’t.”  Joey was on top of him now, glaring down into his face.  “I love you for a lot of reasons, and one of them - - just one - - is how incredibly sexy you are, how hot you make me.  You’re amazing in bed, you blow my fucking mind.  I’m proud of you, I’m proud of how hot you are, and I’m proud of how open you are.  I don’t want you to be ashamed of how strong your sexuality is.  I’m proud of you, you amaze me, and I love to show you off.  I love to watch you learn new things.  You’re exploring your own needs.  You love me, you love dick, you love men.  I love you, I love Nick, I love sex.  It’s great that we can share those things together.  If other people don’t like it or don’t understand it, that’s their problem to deal with, because what we’re doing is private and natural and just for us.”

            “The things AJ said to me,” Ashley said, “the way Brian and Howie look at me-”

            “Fuck them,” Joey said.  “You think I give a damn with Brian thinks?  He can go fuck himself.  He’s probably just jealous that I’m keeping all of the gorgeous, pretty boys to myself.”

            Ashley stroked Joey’s beard.  He had to know.  “Do you respect me?”

            Joey frowned.  “Pretty, I love you.  Of course I respect you.  Why wouldn’t I?”  His hand took Ashley’s, bringing it to his own chest.  “Have I ever acted like I don’t?”

            “No,” Ashley said.  “I just…  I don’t know, I’m not used to being in this situation, and sometimes I’m not sure what’s really going on.”

            “Then let me tell you what’s going on,” Joey said, releasing Ashley’s hand to touch his face, stroking his cheek while Ashley’s fingers slowly explored across Joey’s chest.  “I love you, and I respect you.  I love you because you have a big heart, pretty, you care about other people’s feelings.  You look for the good in everyone, and you get so hurt when they prove you wrong.  You’re a hopeless romantic, you’re eternally optimistic, and you’re absolutely adorable.”

            Ashley laughed, embarrassed.  “I sound ridiculous.”

            “You sound perfect,” Joey said.  “You look perfect, too, you’re beautiful and you don’t even know it.  And you have so much need, so much sexual hunger inside that no one’s ever fed.  I love to be the one who gives you what you need.  You trust me, you’ve let me give you things that no one else ever has, you’ve let me open your mind and your body and your world.  You love sex, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  I love sex, too.  I want to share sex with you, and share other things with you, share my life with you.  I love Nick, he’s a huge part of my life, he’s my partner in everything.  Your role and his role are going to overlap.  I’d love to take both of you out, together, to clubs, to dinner.  Right now he’s not interested in that, so if the only way I can have both of you at once is through sharing a bed, that’s what I’ll do.  I’m not ashamed.  Nick’s not ashamed.  You shouldn’t be, either.”

            “I’m not ashamed of loving you,” Ashley said.  “I’m not ashamed of pleasing you.  I’m not ashamed of how much I enjoy making love with you.”

            “Good.”  Joey kissed him, slowly tasting him.  “Don’t let anyone ever make you feel bad.  If Brian looks at you the wrong way, tell him to fuck himself.”

            Ashley almost laughed.  “Jacob would love that.”

            “Forget about Jacob,” Joey said.  “The only people in this room right now, the only people in this world right now, are you and me.”

            “You and me,” Ashley agreed, winding his arms around Joey’s neck, loving the thought.


            Lance was already pissed off when he let Brian into the house.  He hadn’t told anyone why he suddenly had to leave JC’s house, and they hadn’t asked, but he’d seen the look in Chris’s eyes.  “Did you want anything important?”

            “Not exactly,” Brian said.  “It just seems like we never spend any time together.”

            “Why should we?” Lance asked.

            Brian looked crushed, but scrambled for an answer.  “For Jacob,” he said.  “He’s supposed to think that we’re close, so we should make an effort to…be close.”

            Lance hated fucking Brian, because he hated the way it made him feel.  It turned him on to have someone be that eager, that desperate, that submissive, that devoted.  He’d never been an ass-smacking, you’re-my-bitch kind of lover - - dominant, yes, but crude, no - - and he kept turning into that with Brian.  He got off on treating Brian badly, got off on wielding power, on making someone else weak and vulnerable.  It was all in reaction to the way Howie had made him feel, and probably in reaction to seeing how broken and devastated Chris was, but it didn’t sit well with him.

            Nevertheless, it was still better than holding a conversation with Brian.

            He kissed Brian, cupping Brian’s ass in one hand.  “You want to be closer to me?” he asked, lowering his voice.

            Brian moaned, gazing at him with utter adoration.  “I would love to be closer to you,” Brian said.

            Lance wanted to roll his eyes.  “Which room haven’t we fucked in yet?”

            Brian turned red, but didn’t pull away.  “You said you wanted to fuck me on your desk.”

            “Did I?” Lance asked, as if he didn’t remember.

            Brian licked his lips, embarrassed, stroking Lance’s shoulder.  “You said you wanted my sweat on the screen and my cum on the keyboard.”

            Lance grinned.  “That sounds a little messy.”

            “A little,” Brian agreed, blushing.

            “We’ll move the computer out of the way,” Lance said, and pulled Brian back to his office.


            “I can’t believe we did it,” Trevor said, following Kevin to the kitchen.

“It looks great,” Kevin said, opening the refrigerator.  “I can’t thank you enough.”

“Hey, it was my pleasure,” Trevor said, accepting a bottle of water.

            “You think you could hang around for dinner?” Kevin asked.

            There was a ludicrous question.  “I’d love to.  What are we having?”


            “If I were into victims, I’d be all over Ashley,” AJ said.  “I don’t know why Kevin and Brian aren’t fighting over him.”

            “They really should be,” Nick said.  “Can I have your chicken?”

            “Take it,” AJ said, handing Nick his plate.  “He really slapped you?”

            “It was like being bitten by a flower,” Nick said.  “More shocking than anything.  It didn’t even turn red.”

            AJ’s phone rang.  “Joey?” he guessed.

            “I told him to deal with Ashley first,” Nick said.  “But he’ll definitely be calling you.”

            AJ checked, and grinned.  “Dan.”

            Nick snickered.  “I wonder what he wants.”

            “I wonder,” AJ said with a smile, pushing the talk button.  “Hello?”  He listened, rolling his eyes at Nick, stealing a grape.  “What’s your point?” he finally asked, interrupting Dan’s tirade.  He listened some more, taking a drink.  “Oh, really?” he asked.  “I’ll be home for the rest of the evening, if you want to stop by.”

            Nick shook his head, eating more chicken.

            “Stop yelling before you hurt something,” AJ said, and hung up.  “Dan’s on his way over.  You might want to make yourself scarce.”

            “Not until he gets here,” Nick said.  “I want to see what you did to him.”

            AJ smiled.  “You should take a look.  It’s some of my best work.”


            Lance relaxed on his bed, closing his eyes as Brian kissed his back.

            “You’re so beautiful,” Brian murmured, stroking from his shoulders down to his waist with admiring hands.  “Jacob’s such a skinny little boy.  You’re such a solid, gorgeous man.”

            “When you’re right, you’re right,” Lance said.

            Brian’s lips were soft beneath his shoulder blade as Brian’s hands followed the trail of his spine.  Stroking the cleft of Lance’s ass, Brian asked, “Do you ever…?”

            “No.”

            Brian sounded wounded.  “But your ass is so…”

            Lance smiled.  “I know.”

            Brian caressed down to his thighs and back up, squeezing gently.  “Never?”

            “I did, twice, years ago.  I didn’t really like it.  It was awkward, it was uncomfortable, it wasn’t nearly as satisfying.  It just didn’t seem worth it, when there are other things that give me much more…fulfillment.”

            Brian’s fingers trailed across his ass, lingering.  “Is that why you’re putting off the next step with Jacob?”

            “I’m not putting it off,” Lance said.  “He isn’t ready.”  That wasn’t true, but he wasn’t going to admit it to Brian.

            Slow stroking over his biceps.  “I can’t imagine never…  I love the way you take me, I love the way it feels, I love how masterful you are.”

            Masterful?  If Lance’s eyes had been open, he would have rolled them.

            “But I would love to make love to you, I would love to share that experience.”  Tender caressing down from his shoulders.  “If you want to ease into it - - Jacob’s not going to be great at it the first time.  Maybe if you let me…”

            “No, thank you.”  Hell, no.  He wasn’t giving Brian any leverage over him, physical or sexual or psychological.  “Everyone has to make some sacrifices for the cause.  Putting up with Jacob’s crude fumbling is mine.”

            Brian kissed his shoulder.  “The offer’s always there.”

            Lance opened his eyes and looked at Brian over his shoulder.  “Thanks.”


            Dan was ready.  He knew what he had to do.  For Jacob, for Ashley, for Erik and Trevor.  As always, for Justin.

            He rang the doorbell.

            Nick opened the door.  “What are you doing here?”

            “I’ve got it,” AJ said, coming up behind Nick.  “Come in,” he said to Dan.

            “I’ll see you later,” Nick said to AJ.  He stepped outside as Dan stepped inside.

            Dan closed the door.

            “I hope you’re not here to bitch some more,” AJ said, turning his back and walking into the living room.  “That shit gets damned old, damned fast.”

            “I’m not here to talk,” Dan said, walking up behind him.

            AJ faced him with a slow smirk, gaze drifting down over his body.  “You’re not?”

            Dan didn’t even bother to say no.  He just grabbed the front of AJ’s shirt and yanked AJ forward to his mouth.


            Lance was making out with Brian when his phone rang.  He rolled away, reaching for his phone.  “Hello?”

            “I got your message.”

            Howie.  Lance swallowed, doing his best not to react enough for Brian to know what was happening.  “What do you think about my idea?”

            “I think that it’s worth considering,” Howie said.  “Would you like to discuss it in person, tonight?”

            “Yes,” Lance said immediately.  “Yes, I would.”

            “Here?” Howie asked.

            “Yes,” Lance said.

            “I’ll see you soon,” Howie said softly.

            “All right,” Lance said.  “Good-bye.”  He hung up, composed himself as quickly as he could, and turned back to Brian.  “It looks like I have to leave.”

            “Now?” Brian asked.

            “Now,” Lance said.  “You can go back to Jacob.”

            “That’s not exactly consoling,” Brian said.  “Can we pick this up again tomorrow?”

            “Yeah, maybe,” Lance said.  “I’ll call you.”

            “Okay.”  Brian gazed at him with regret, stroking his face.  “I’ll see you later, then.”

            Lance didn’t know how he managed not to shove Brian off of his bed, but he did it with a smile.  “Yeah.  Later.”


            “It’s too bad I can’t keep you all to myself,” Howie said.

            “Yeah, it sucks,” Erik agreed.  “You know, I bet you could keep JC all to yourself.  Why don’t you call him and-”

            “You never give up,” Howie said with a smile.  “Not for a second.”

            “Give up on you and JC?” Erik asked.  “What am I, crazy?”

            Howie laughed, kissing him.  “Have fun with JC tonight.”

            “I always do,” Erik said.  “You could, too, if you’d-”

            “Good-bye, Erik-Michael,” Howie said, turning the doorknob.

            “Bye,” Erik said, kissing his cheek and opening the door.


            Trevor was so nervous, he wanted to gulp, but he took his cue from Kevin and sipped his wine slowly.  He was alone with Kevin, in Kevin’s house, on the sofa, with relatively dim lighting.

            It was the seduction scene of his dreams.

            Until Kevin said, “I heard that you and Chris…stopped seeing each other.”

            Trevor took a long swallow to numb the sudden pain.  Chris.  He’d managed not to think about Chris for a whole twenty minutes there.  A personal best.  “Uh, yeah,” he said, lowering the glass.  “It didn’t work out.”

            “Then…  It’s over?” Kevin asked.

            Trevor wasn’t sure why Kevin had to rub it in.  “It seems like it, yeah.”

            “I’m sorry,” Kevin said.

            He seemed genuinely apologetic.  It was nice of him not to gloat about it.  “It happens,” Trevor said, like he was cynical and experienced, instead of hurt and quietly devastated.

            “Chris is a smart guy,” Kevin said.  “I’m surprised he’d let you get away.”

            “I’m a big catch,” Trevor said, wishing Kevin would change the subject, not sure how to change it himself.

            “You are,” Kevin said quietly, and when Trevor caught the tone of his voice and looked directly into his eyes, it was suddenly hard to breathe.

            There were extremely important things that Trevor had to remember.  “I’m in love with him.”  He had a huge, huge crush on Kevin, a large amount of hero worship, almost unhealthy quantities of lust.  But he was in love with Chris.

            “I know,” Kevin said.

            “He’s not over you.”

            “That’s up to him,” Kevin said.  “It sounds like he was too busy worrying about what he didn’t have to appreciate what was right in front of him.”

            Trevor was imagining things.  Kevin couldn’t truly be shifting closer, couldn’t possibly be…  His eyes closed, lips parting, as he received his first kiss.


            First JC’s phone rang.  Then, seconds later, Chris’s.  Justin sat alone, wondering what was going on.  He checked his own messages, just in case.  There was one from Dan that sounded pretty worried about something.  He called back and left a message.

            JC came back in.  “Erik’s on his way.”

            “You want us to go?” Justin asked.

            “I have to leave now,” Chris said, coming up behind JC in the doorway.

            “Erik’s coming over,” JC told Chris.  “Can you and Justin go to your house?”

            “I have to leave now,” Chris repeated.

            “For what?” JC asked.  “Did Kevin call you?”

            “I have to leave now,” Chris said.

            “You can’t leave Justin alone,” JC said.

            “I’ll be okay,” Justin said.

            “Dan,” Chris said.  “What about Dan?  AJ?”

            “Dan’s not answering his phone,” Justin said.  “I’ll call AJ, though.  Don’t worry-”

            “Justin, we’re not going to leave you alone,” JC said.  “Chris-”

            “I have to leave now,” Chris said firmly, a little frantic around the eyes.  “I’m sorry,” he said to Justin, “I have to go,” and he left.

            “Damn it,” JC said.  “We’ll call Lance or Joey,” he said.

            “I’m fine,” Justin said, getting up.  “Between Lance, Joey, Dan, and AJ, someone’s available.  I’ll be okay.”

            “You can stay here,” JC said.  “I can tell Erik to come back later.”

            “No,” Justin said.  “We’re all committed to this, remember?  The game comes first.”

            “You come first,” JC said.  “Erik can take a hike.”

            Justin hugged him.  “Call me later.”

            “I don’t like this,” JC said, following him to the door.  “At least-”

            “I’ll be fine,” Justin promised.  “I always manage.”

            “Call me,” JC said.  “Call me if no one else is around, call me if-”

            “Good night, JC,” Justin said, and left.


Continue on to part forty-two

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