Copyright November 24, 2002-November 5, 2004 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: I would like to thank Diamond, for stuff and things.

Continued from part three...

        Justin cried a lot.  Funny how confident he seemed in public, when he was a begging crying bitch behind closed doors.

        But a pretty bitch, and an easy bitch.  Kevin liked that about him.

        He'd been ridiculously easy to train.  Possibly he'd been told what to do by so many people for so long, now that he was supposed to be his own man he didn't know what to do, and it was easier on him to know that he wasn't truly in control.  Some people would rather be owned than own themselves.

        Or maybe he was just a bitch.

        Some people liked to be owned in theory, and liked kink for play, but those urges kept them on the move, never satisfied.  Justin wasn't like that.  He only wanted Kevin, and Kevin knew it.  He wanted Kevin to own him, and he couldn't imagine being with anyone else in the same way.

        Maybe that was because he really didn't want to be owned.  Maybe he really was a proud, confident young man, and this wasn't native to his personality at all.  Maybe Kevin had warped him.

        Oh, well.  Too late now.

        Kevin kissed Justin's pelvic bone, then dragged his teeth over it, moving with Justin as Justin started to writhe.  He sucked at various patches of skin on his way down into Justin's groin, licking at the soft dark-blond hair over Justin's sac.  He slid his hands under Justin's ass and lifted, licking back until his tongue found that little pucker.  Justin groaned and started to rub his prick, but Kevin dug his fingernails into Justin's ass until Justin got the hint, stopped, and settled for a lot of heartfelt moaning.

        Justin's ass was impossibly sweet.  Kevin had taught him to cleanse himself on a regular basis, and to finger himself gently with flavored oils.  Since Justin got rimmed a lot more than he would have otherwise, he never seemed to mind.  He couldn't have been doing it this whole time they'd been apart, but maybe after Kevin had fucked him on the stairs, he'd started again.  Just in case.

        Good bitch.

        Kevin dropped Justin's ass back to the mattress and slid up his body.  Justin was panting, and he fucked up against Kevin, his hands clutching across Kevin's broad back.  "Fuck me," Justin said, his voice broken, desperate.

        Kevin kissed Justin's neck.  He decided not to leave a love bite this time, or an actual bite mark, either.

        Justin never seemed to mind being bitten.  At least, not more than anything else.

        It had been easy to shred away every layer of Justin's self-respect.

        Kevin didn't know why Justin had succumbed to him this completely, since Justin made a big show of being his own man to the rest of the world.  He wasn't sure Justin knew, either.

        Maybe Justin didn't want to know.

        Kevin sat back, and Justin rolled onto his stomach, going up on his knees, offering himself.

        Bitch.

        Kevin covered Justin's back, feeling Justin's heat against his chest, fondling Justin's balls.  They drew up tighter as he left wet, loving kisses across Justin's back.

        Fear, love, and hate were the most intense emotions known to man.

        Justin feared Kevin as much as Kevin hated Justin, and Kevin hated Justin as much as Justin loved him.

        And Justin loved him very, very much.

        Kevin had seen to that.

        When he pushed his dick into the tight clutch of Justin's ass, Kevin gave a deliberate hard thrust aimed right at Justin's prostate.  Justin jolted forward from the thrust, and cried out with pleasure at the stimulation.  Kevin sucked Justin's neck where it curved into shoulder, letting the sharp rhythm of his hips fuck Justin's body into a steady rocking.

        Sex with Justin felt good in ways sex with other people never managed.  It was more satisfying.  It left Kevin with a full-body inner warmth.  He'd told Justin as much, but since he made it a habit to mix lies and truths when he spoke with Justin, he was sure Justin hadn't believed him.

        Justin had more muscle definition now, and less hair.  He looked older and more...naked.  Licking Justin's nape was easier now.  Kevin felt like less of a pedophile, too.  Justin had been nineteen when Kevin had seduced him.  But if teenaged boys wanted to be in a grown-up world, they had to take the consequences of it.

        Kevin fucked him a little harder.

        Justin wasn't much for physical affection.  He didn't like too much cuddling.  Usually it made him claustrophobic.  When he slept with girls, he always ended up prying them off of him and sleeping on his own side of the bed.  But it was hard to let go of Kevin.  Sleeping with Kevin like this, sharing body space, made him feel more complete.  When he was away from Kevin, he felt incomplete, splintered, like his center was missing.  Only Kevin could make him whole again.  Only Kevin could make him real again.

        Fingertips trailed down his naked back.  "Justin."

        His skin shivered at Kevin's touch.  That soft whisper owned all of his attention.  "What?"

        "You're nothing."

        It barely hurt anymore.  Relatively.  "I know."

        "You're worth nothing."

        "I know."

        "Enjoy what you have while you can, because it's only a matter of time before they all find out."

        Justin swallowed against the dread.  "I know."

        Lance would service Howie in an instant.  He'd also service Howie's best friend, if that was what Howie wanted.

        After the blowjob, they ate, and drank, and talked about how to screw over Jacob.  Brian looked too innocent to be that diabolical.  Lance was starting to see what might have happened to Chris.

        "How close are you and Chris?"

        "We're friends," Trevor said.  "I'm closer to him than I am to J-Lo, which is a crying shame, but I'm not as close to him as I am to you."

        "That's my shirt," Jacob said.

        Trevor tossed it to him.

        "Joey's doing Ashley," Jacob said.  "Erik wants to be doing JC, Howie, and God knows who else."

        Trevor saw where this was going.  "I'm not doing Chris.  Chris isn't doing me.  We're friends."

        "Have you kissed him?"

        "No."

        "Have you wanted to?"

        "No."  It wasn't like Jacob to be nosing into the middle of their business like this.  Something must have triggered Jacob's protective instincts pretty strongly.

        "What do you know about Lance?"

        "He has green eyes and he wants to be an astronaut."

        "What do you know about Brian?"

        "I can't write his biography as well as I can write Kevin's, but I know all of the basic factoids."

        Jacob folded his T-shirt.

        "While we're all making new friends, maybe you should do it, too."

        "Let me go call up 98 Degrees," Jacob said.  "I can't wait to make new friends who spend their spare time finding the best angles to pose their naked, oiled, overmuscled bodies."

        "Ashley thinks they're hot."

        "Ashley thinks Joey Fatone is hot."

        Good point.

        Erik opened his eyes, pushing himself up with one hand, disoriented.

        "Erik-Michael," Dan said again, knocking.

        Freak it!  He'd come on himself.  Erik pulled the sheets up.  "Come in.  What?"

        "Phone," Dan said, handing him the cordless.  "It's Howie."  Dan winked and left.

        Erik's body was still half in dreamland, and was excited about hearing from Howie.  He coughed, hoped he sounded awake, and said, "Hello?"

        "Erik-Michael.  Did I wake you?"

        "No, I'm good.  What's up?"

        "I'm having some friends over to the club Thursday night.  You should come."

        "Yeah, that sounds great."

        "Come by early.  Ten?"

        "Yeah, okay."  Howie wanted him there early.  That could only mean good things.

        "Wear something...tight.  I'll see you then.  Bye, Erik-Michael."

        Wear something tight.  Erik hung up and let it sink in.  He had the great feeling that reality was about to become as good as his dreams.

        "You got Joey."

        "Hi, it's Ashley."

        "Hey, pretty.  What's going on?"

        Ashley blushed.  "Nothing. Are you busy?"

        "I'm about to meet Nick for lunch."

        "Oh."  Ouch.  Damn.  Ashley couldn't believe how stupid he was.

        "I can come over after, if-"

        "No.  No, no.  That's cool."  He didn't want a pity visit.

        "What are you doing tomorrow?"

        "Tomorrow?  Nothing."

        "Come over.  Come to my place around noon and we'll find something to do."

        "Sure.  Okay."  They were friends.  Friends hung out together.  It didn't mean anything.

        "Something fun."

        The promising warmth in Joey's tone blossomed heat in Ashley's blood.  "Okay."

        "Bye, pretty."

        "Bye."

        He hated being ashamed of himself.  He hated being weak.  He'd never been like this before.  But Kevin...  He couldn't escape his own need for Kevin, his own burning desperation to be near Kevin.  It was like he'd been programmed; he heard Kevin's voice in his head all of the time, telling him things, reminding him, warning him, this constant loop of "you're worthless, you're nothing, you're no one."  He'd tried to drown out the voice, but no message, no shout, no music was louder than Kevin.  And even though Kevin made him feel desperately, horribly low, he wanted to be close to Kevin again.  He was a moth to flame.  He knew he'd get burned, he knew it was wrong, he knew Kevin would destroy him, but he had to get closer, wanted to touch the fire, was willing to risk everything to be close to that brilliant, magnificent light.

        Kevin was powerful.  Kevin was power, and control, and strength.  He submitted to no one.  He caved under no pressure.  His hands owned Justin's body.  His gaze saw into Justin's mind.  His voice was so commanding and his will was so forceful and his eyes were so green and...

        Dan was saying something.  Dan's eyes were too blue.  Justin didn't want to look at him.  He wasn't Kevin.  He wasn't even close.

        Chris had seen Justin last night.  Caught him in Kevin's house.  He didn't know what Chris was thinking.  Maybe he was lucky it had been Chris.  Chris might understand.

        He almost wanted to recommend that Chris break into Brian's house.  It hadn't turned out too badly for Justin.

        "I don't know," Trevor said.  "Chris said something about AJ.  There was some ugly scene last night."

        Dan nodded.

        "What do you think about Chris?"

        "He's great.  He's a lot of fun."

        "Jacob asked me if I'm interested in him."

        "In Chris?  Are you?"

        "No.  I don't know.  I don't think so.  But Jacob asked, and...  You know, once someone brings it up, you start thinking about it."

        "Are you ready to take that step?  Make a move towards guys?"

        "I don't know.  Ashley's doing it."

        "Ashley's Ashley.  You're Trevor.  I can't see Chris freaking you in public."

        "While you two hold your conference, we'll be over here playing golf," Chris called.  "Take your time.  No rush."

        "Great, thanks," Trevor said, and turned back to Dan.  "Keep talking.  Make him wait."

        "Okay.  How about those Dolphins?" Dan asked at random.

        "When's our shoot?" Trevor asked.  "Saturday?"

        "Yeah.  Remember, no parties, no clubs, no going out.  We're going to look rested for this one.  No big bags under the eyes."

        "Yes, Dad."

        "Mr. Penick, sir, Mr. Miller, sir, we are waiting ever so patiently for you to move your asses!" Chris said, starting off sweetly and building to an outraged crescendo.

        "Oh.  Were you waiting for us?" Trevor asked, feigning bewilderment.

        Chris picked the ball up off of the tee and threw it at him.  "Move it!"

        He was going to look gay.

        Jacob would flip.

        On the other hand, if Howie liked it, did Erik care what Jacob thought?  No.

        And if he were dressing to impress a guy and up his chances of being laid, maybe he was gay, so looking gay would be appropriate.

        He wasn't gay.  He really wasn't.

        Was he?

        He'd worry about that after he had sex with JC.

        "Hi, JC.  It's Howie."

        JC's dick perked up.  "Hi."  He couldn't help it; he liked Howie.  He wanted Howie to like him.

        "I called Erik.  He'll be there on Thursday."

        "Good."  He couldn't be more sick of dealing with that idiot, but he'd get to spend time with Howie, so the night wouldn't be a complete loss.

        "Nick is going to be there Thursday night, but you can't let yourself be distracted.  I'm counting on you.  You're with me now."

        You're with me now.  It sounded so...possessive...  Of course Howie wasn't jealous of Nick, but for a second there it had almost sounded like it.  "It won't be a problem."

        "I'm sorry about last night.  Kevin..."

        "It's all right.  It was nothing."  That soft, slow kiss over the sofa had more than made up for anything else.

        "Good.  JC?"

        "Yeah?"

        "I'm glad you're my partner on this one.  You're making this much more interesting than I'd thought it was going to be."

        Howie's voice wanted him.

        "I don't want to do to Erik what I did to Lance.  I let Lance off easy.  Too easy.  Erik deserves worse.  I know you can help me.  You have it in you.  Chris doesn't, Justin doesn't, but you, you're different."

        Chris and Justin had been destroyed.  JC hadn't been.  Nick had put him through a lot, but he'd come out of it with his mind intact.  He still loved Nick, oh, he still loved Nick, but he could get through the day without too much pain.  Justin couldn't hear the words "Backstreet Boy" without flinching, and Chris...

        "You're almost one of us," Howie said.

        Something inside JC quickened.  "One of you?"

        "Your pride, your composure, that unshakable inner confidence.  You know what the world owes you.  You have presence, JC.  That's what attracts Erik to you.  That's what attracts me to you."

        "What about Lance?" JC asked.  He should have asked long ago.  He should have asked the first time Howie had kissed him.

        "What about him?" Howie asked without rancor.  "We take from each other what we want without demanding more.  I let him stay the night because I know there won't be a scene in the morning."

        Take from each other?  They didn't take from each other.  Did they?  That implied equality, and there was none.  JC knew better.  "What if he wants more?"

        "Then I'll be flattered," Howie said.  "Thursday night," he said, and hung up.

        Thursday night.

        "Yeah," Justin said.  "Rough night."

        Dan didn't pry.  Justin's personal life was Justin's business.

        "Sometimes I really think I should be with someone else," Justin said.  "I should walk away, turn my back and just go.  I know I'm not going to.  I'm going to stay where I am and keep doing it, hoping it gets better, because I can't walk away from someone who has my heart."

        "As long as you think it's worth it," Dan said.

        "How do you treat your girlfriends?" Justin asked.

        Dan thought about it.  Ashley treated girls well, but girls didn't always treat Ashley well.  Trevor never found the right girl at the right time; it was always too much or too soon or too late or not enough.  Erik took girls for granted.  And Jacob, Jacob expected a lot from his girlfriends, but he gave a lot, too.  "I treat them pretty well, I think.  There's always the issue of spending time with them, but you know that."

        "My girlfriends know I care," Justin said.  "I make sure they know it.  Presents, cards, flowers, surprises, phone calls, visits.  I pay attention to what they like and I make sure they have it.  It should work that way with guys, too."

        "Doesn't it?" Dan asked.

        "It's not that easy."

        "It shouldn't be that hard, either."

        Nick had a bag of his belongings.  He left an open sketchbook on the coffee table.  Toothbrush in the bathroom.  He dumped a bunch of clothes in a drawer Joey had emptied for him.  Lube and condoms scattered over the bedside table.

        Joey followed him around the house, watching.  Joey wasn't sure what to do with Nick.  How to treat him.  They were partners in this, and they'd talked, but...  He didn't really know Nick.  He didn't like Nick, but he didn't know if Nick was, well, evil or not.  Nick didn't seem evil so far.  AJ wasn't.  Nick hadn't traumatized JC that much.

        Nick set his glasses on Joey's dresser and turned to Joey.  "I'm going to fuck you."

        "What?"  Joey had not heard right.  Even if he had, no way.

        "You're sure as hell not fucking me," Nick said, "so that's our only option.  We have to screw, anyway.  Either it'll make you more comfortable around me, or it'll make you tense and weird around me.  Either way's an improvement."

        "We don't have to...  What if I say no?"

        "Don't play that with me," Nick said.  "You don't want to go there."

        "What about JC?"

        "What about JC?" Nick repeated.  "What, you're afraid of betraying your best friend's feelings?  You think he's worried about that when he's sucking Howie's dick?  You think Lance is worried about that when he's sucking Brian's dick?  JC knows we're going to get into it.  He's old enough to handle it, don't you think?"

        "I don't-"

        "Just close your eyes and think about AJ," Nick said.

        They went back to O-Town's house.  Justin and Dan sat in the open living room, talking on the sofa, while Trevor splashed and Chris shouted in the background, in the pool.

        Dan had great eyes, and the way he said Justin's name was kind of sexy, if Justin ignored the fact that Dan was supposed to be a professional singer, and any professional singer with that kind of speech impediment needed to be slapped for a fool.  He edged closer to Dan as they talked.  They were facing each other, each with one leg up on the sofa cushions, and Justin manuevered until their thighs were touching.

        It was a weird fact that Justin could have anyone he wanted.  He was still getting used to it.  It was like realizing that every day was his birthday.  He wondered, if he were to go for it, how far Dan would let him go.  So far Dan was being very casual, very laidback, just a guy, just a friend.  Dan wasn't even acting all that interested.  Interested in him as a person, yeah, but not necessarily interested in him sexually.

        Justin wasn't in this to make friends.

        Chris turned in the pool.  "The things I do to keep myself pretty.  I realize you're young, but your chest isn't naturally that smooth, is it?  It's the same principle, only more icky."

        "I guess it's part of the job."

        "That it is," Chris said.  "At least until you're older and they let you wear clothes when they take pictures of you."

        Trevor's eyes narrowed.  "That sounded like...I don't know, pedophilia or something."

        "Hmm," Chris said, and changed the subject.  "I'm hungry.  Go get me something to eat."

        "You want me to fetch you food."

        "Yes, that was the intent behind those words," Chris agreed.

        "Why?"

        "So I can watch your cute ass when you haul yourself out of the pool."

        Trevor grinned.  "Okay."

        "Kids these days," Chris said.

        Trevor reached for the edge and pulled himself up, deliberately giving Chris a good view of his ass as he climbed onto the concrete.  "Did you want anything else?" he asked, turning.

        Chris floated backward.  "No, that was good for me."

        Trevor laughed.  "I meant food.  Besides that."

        "Oh, no."  Chris waved him off with an idle hand.  "That will do, that will do."

        Trevor laughed and left.

        Chris closed his eyes, let the water support him, and thought about Brian.  The smooth, smooth skin of Brian's back.  Pale satin.  The slow arch of Brian's spine as he pressed a kiss to the small of Brian's back.  The quiet echo of Brian's soft, slow moan...  "Oh, Chris, please..."  Chris sank under the water, submerging himself, unable to bear it. Brian...

        Then Nick had kissed him.  Nick's mouth on his mouth, unexpected erotic tenderness, his eyes closed, hands on his body.  Unexpected carnal heat.  He'd touched Nick, and it was nothing like touching AJ, and Nick didn't kiss like AJ, but...it wasn't all bad, either.

        Nick was direct.  Blunt.  It wasn't about art and finesse.  He took off clothes to get them out of the way, not as a step in seduction.  He didn't play around with sweet caresses or soft words.  He didn't say much of anything, really.

        But everything was so fucking good, Joey couldn't figure it out.  Nick's hands had learned his body, and already he could feel Nick drawing responses from him like a long-time lover.  The standard parts were on fire, and his personal hot spots had been discovered and exploited without mercy.

        Joey learned quickly that it wasn't safe to open his eyes.  One look at Nick had his dick jerking, his skin hot, his voice welling up in hot groans.  Nick's skin was flushed, his eyes heavy-lidded and hot, his hair perfectly mussed, his lips red, wet, and parted.  Every glimpse showed Joey something overly sexual; this wasn't a dick only experience for Nick, sex was a full-body rush of lust, hormones, and desire that worked its way through every inch of Nick's system and displayed itself openly, potently, sexually.

        Nick's mouth defied description.  Hot and sucking one minute, wet and teasing the next, shocking in its eroticism.  Joey had never liked being bitten by anyone besides AJ, until today, but now he wanted more.  Nick's kisses kept changing, too, so each time their mouths met Joey didn't know what to expect, but was always left groaning for more.

        Joey wanted Nick's mouth on his dick.  He would pay if he had to.

        Nick was more well-hung than he was, which was a major insult.  Not by a whole lot, just enough to piss Joey off.

        Joey hadn't had sex with a man since AJ.  His body wasn't used to it.  When Nick first went in, Joey didn't like it.  It hurt and it stretched and it felt wrong.  Then Nick started working in him, in and out, hitting his prostate on deep even strokes, jacking his cock with an experienced grip, finding an easier position for his legs, making a minute hip adjustment so that their bodies fit together perfectly - - Nick was so fucking good at this, and looked so fucking good doing it, Joey came early.

        Joey never came early.

        Never.

        Nick kept going until all of the tremors had ceased and Joey was entirely through it.  Then Nick came, spine arched, head back, eyes closed, face flushed, fingers digging into Joey's thigh, hips slamming in hard like they weren't connected to the rest of him.

        Joey got hot all over again, just watching.

        Nick slowly relaxed.

        Joey felt weird.  Different.

        Nick pulled out, tossed the condom, and patted Joey's thigh.  One perfunctory kiss, and Nick was up and out of the bed.

        Joey wiped his mouth.

        Nick, not even looking insulted, got dressed.

        "Was it like that with JC?" Joey asked.

        Nick smirked.

        Joey wanted to hit him.  Truly, truly, wanted to take a fist to that smug face.  How dare that bastard-

        "It was very different with JC," Nick said.  "JC is in love with me.  He gave himself to me completely."  He sat on the edge of the bed and put on his shoes.  "And I gave him head."  Nick stood.  "Don't change the sheets.  Bring Ashley in here.  Go as far as you can without actually sticking it in."

        Hatred was boiling up fast and hard.  Nick was evil.  It was careless evil, the evil of thoughtless contempt.

        Nick lingered in the doorway, looking back.  "When you see JC, tell him I miss him."  Nick shook his head.  "Nobody takes my dick like he did."

        "Say my name like you won a Grammy."

        "AJ," Justin said with happy, grateful enthusiasm.

        "Big smile."

        "I am, I am," Justin said, grinning like a fool.

        "Get ready to be devastated."

        Justin wasn't sure what that meant.

        "Justin."

        Kevin.  Justin felt his eyes widen, his smile drop.

        "You killed my fish.  You came into my home, slept in my bed, and killed my fish."

        "No, I-"

        "You did.  They're dead."

        Stammering, frightened, "I didn't, I-"

        "That's sick, Justin.  You're sick."

        "No, no, no-"

        "Apologize to me."

        "I'm sorry, I-"

        "Like you mean it," Kevin ordered.

        "I do!  I am sorry!  I'm sorry, I never meant to, I didn't know-"

        "You're going to make this up to me."

        "I will, I promise, I'll-"

        "Tell me you love me, Justin."

        "I love you, I do love you.  I love you, I'm sorry.  I didn't know, I didn't mean to..."  Justin realized that he was talking to dead air.

        "Justin."  Concern in Dan's eyes, concern in Dan's touch.

        Justin put his hand to his forehead, leaning forward, trying to pull himself together but too scared to do it.  Lying, Kevin must have been lying, he hadn't killed those fish.  Had he?  He might have.  He could have.  Not on purpose, not consciously, maybe subconsciously.  To hurt Kevin.  He didn't want to hurt Kevin.  He loved Kevin.  He wasn't sick.  He wouldn't have...  But he might have.

        "That's sick, Justin.  You're sick."

        "Justin," Dan said, worried, protective.

        When Dan reached for him, Justin let himself lean into Dan's embrace, trying not to shake visibly.  He was scared.  He was even afraid of himself, now.  He was very afraid for himself.

        "That's sick, Justin.  You're sick."

        "Yeah?" Trevor asked.

        "I was sort of kind of wondering, hoping, you know, that you might want to come.  With me.  Go.  With me.  Or whatever."

        "Thursday?" Trevor asked.  "Sure, yeah.  I'd like to."

        "I mean, you can bring your four-man posse with you, or whatever, if that's your thing.  There's a rumor that Erik's going, anyway.  But I, you know, I don't care who else shows up, as long as you're there."

        Trevor grinned at him.

        Chris switched gears.  "I should give you a warning.  Howie's going to be there, and I believe Nick and AJ are going.  There's always a possibility of Kevin showing up.  If I'm there, and he's there, and you're there, it could be a thing.  Or not."

        Trevor nodded.  "Okay."

        "It's actually at Howie's club, which means it's on their turf, but I wouldn't worry."

        Trevor gave him a suspicious look.  "Do you want me to worry?"

        "No, no.  No, it's...  It'll be fine.  I don't think they actually carry weapons.  Well, no, some of them might."

        Trevor laughed.

        Nick shrugged, reaching for more fries.  "Not bad.  Kind of hairy.  Where's the ketchup?  He likes to kiss, which sucked, because his beard scratched the hell out of me.  He doesn't like bottoming, but hell, I'm not letting him get up in me."

        "You want me to talk to him?"

        "No, I've got it.  I shouldn't have to fuck him too often, anyway.  Mostly I'll be fucking Ashley, and I know he's good for it."

        "He should have 'Born to Bottom' stamped on his forehead," AJ said.

        "I told Joey not to stick it in him tomorrow, but it's a fifty-fifty whether he'll listen."

        "He'll listen," AJ said.  "I had him trained too well for that."

        Dan closed the door and thought.

        "What?" Jacob asked.

        "Justin's on top of the world, isn't he?" Dan asked.  "He has everything.  Intelligence, charm, manners.  He's talented.  He's gifted.  He's extremely attractive."

        "I'm not enjoying this," Jacob said.

        "He just broke down from one phone call from AJ."

        "Crying?" Jacob asked, surprised.

        "Everything but.  Why would he put himself in a relationship that bad, when he obviously doesn't have to?" Dan asked.  "He's too good for that.  He's too special.  He's too smart.  He could have anyone he wants."

        "Maybe AJ's blackmailing him.  Maybe he's not as perfect as he wants everyone to think.  Maybe you should stop bringing him to my house."

        "Our house," Dan said.

        "Maybe this is his trick to get into your head like the rest of them," Jacob said.  "JC got Erik, Joey got Ashley, Chris got Trevor-"

        "Have you and Lance said two words to each other?"

        "We had a conversation," Jacob said.

        Dan gave Jacob an even look.  "What's wrong?"

        "What?"

        "What did Lance say to you?  You just pulled back like I hit a nerve."

        "Nothing," Jacob said.  "I can take care of myself.  You look out for Justin."  Jacob walked away.

        Laughing, Trevor turned onto his back.

        Chris rolled the ball down Trevor's chest, up, then down again, down-

        Trevor caught Chris's hand, raising his thigh, pushing Chris back to safer territory.  "I have enough balls down there."

        Chris lay down beside him, on one side, rolling the ball over Trevor's skin.  "I wonder what it's like to be one of the beautiful people."

        "What?" Trevor asked.  "You are one of the beautiful people."

        He took a detour down Trevor's arm, then up onto Trevor's chest again.  "I'm one of the successful people, I'm one of the rich and famous people, but I'm not one of the beautiful people.  That's JC and Justin's territory.  I look at them, and I think, my life's not so different from theirs, except in all of the ways that it is.  I wonder what it's like to be one of the beautiful people."

        Trevor turned his head to the side, meeting Chris's eyes, his own eyes dark and deep.  "You are one of the beautiful people."

        Chris lowered his gaze and rolled the Koosh around Trevor's navel, deciding it was time to change the subject.

        No, no possibility, no more.  Friends.  Just friends.  They'd agreed.

        He moved around the house, doing this, doing that, unable to sit still.  He wanted to go to Joey's.  The hours were passing too slowly.

        He decided to show up early, then decided against it, remembering with cold shock that Nick might have spent the night.  If he showed up any earlier than the set time, Nick might still be there.

        He was the other man.  He was...  Ashley had to talk to somebody.

        Jacob was in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal, writing something.  "Am I the other man?" Ashley asked, sitting down across from him.

        "Yes," Jacob said, barely looking at him.

        "No, I mean, with Joey, he's seeing Nick, and we're just friends, but-"

        "Yes," Jacob said.  "You're the other man."

        "Why...why would you say that?" Ashley asked, wishing Jacob were a little less honest.

        "Joey took you to a party he knew Nick wasn't coming to, and freaked you in a cage.  Nick found out about it and came over here to confront you.  Joey came over here with his friends and took you up to your bedroom.  Did Nick know about that?"

        "No," Ashley admitted.

        "You're going over to see Joey today, aren't you?"

        "Yes."

        "Does Nick know?"

        Ashley felt queasy.  "Probably not."

        "You're the other man," Jacob said.  "Joey's cheating on Nick for you, but not leaving Nick for you."

        "He said he would," Ashley said, then closed his mouth, feeling a slow burn of shame.

        Jacob gave him a slow look.  "You know how you sound."

        "I know," Ashley said, sounding about as miserable as he felt.

        "Don't do this to yourself," Jacob said.  "You deserve better than this."

        "He said he'd leave Nick for me," Ashley said.  "He said I was the only reason he'd really do it."

        "Did he tell you he loved you?"

        "No," Ashley admitted.  "But I didn't tell him, either."

        "Don't," Jacob said.  "Don't say that, Ashley, don't take it there."

        "He told me his dick's in love with me," Ashley offered with an embarrassed smile.

        "Oh, well, then that's okay," Jacob said.  "What girl doesn't love to hear that?"

        "I'm not a girl!  Don't you start that, too."

        "If he isn't willing to approach you directly, if he can't be a man strong enough to drop the ties he has to start something with you, then he doesn't deserve you," Jacob said.  "You're better than that, Ashley.  You're worth more, and if he can't see it, then screw him."

        "What if it's more complicated than that?"

        "What if he wants to have his cake and eat it, too?  If you keep going through with this, you're giving him permission to have an affair, and you're giving him permission to treat you like his whore on the side.  Don't do that."

        "They're not married, they're just-"

        "They're already in a relationship.  A real relationship.  Nick comes first.  You're secondary."

        "If Nick were all that good for him, he wouldn't be coming to me."

        "Then let him break up with Nick and start something with you.  You're right, they're not married.  That means it should be even easier for him to break up with Nick, but he's not doing it.  He's not doing it because he doesn't want to.  If you respect yourself, leave him, and make him respect you enough to come to you like a man."

        Chris raised it to the light.

        He'd cut it off while Brian slept one night.  Just a little curl, snipped off near the nape, nothing anyone would ever notice.

        His little piece of Brian.

        He'd planned for it, setting scissors on his bedside table before Brian came over, holding a miniature flashlight in his mouth and training it on Brian's nape so the light wouldn't disturb Brian's rest.  He'd dropped the curl into the little plastic box and hidden it just under the mattress for later.  It had gone off very smoothly.

        Maybe too smoothly?  He still wondered whether Brian had wakened at any point during the process.  But it had gone quickly, a matter of mere seconds.  And then he'd taken Brian into his arms...

        Chris didn't have anything else of Brian's.  No mementos, no possessions.  He knew that Justin had a private Kevin stash, things Kevin had given and things Justin had stolen, jewelry and cologne and a sock and God knew what else.  He wished he had a stash like that.

        Hell, he'd probably turn it into a freaking shrine.

        Chris closed the box back up, tucking away his little piece of Brian, locking it up for another day.

        The door opened.  "Ashley," Joey said, warm and friendly.

        Ashley raised his head, smiling at Joey.  "Hey."

        "Come in," Joey said.  "You want some lunch?"

        "Yeah, that'd be great," Ashley said.

        Lunch was, well, lunch.  They ate, and they talked, and Ashley felt comfortable, happy, not nervous or guilty or anxious in any way.  Joey put him at ease, had from the start, and Ashley thought that, with or without sex, they could remain friends.

        After lunch, Joey took Ashley on a brief tour.  Joey's house was, of course, larger and grander than the Townhouse, but not overly extravagant.  Ashley saw things, a sketchpad tossed on a table, an extra toothbrush in the bathroom, a tube of Astroglide among the condoms on the bedside table.  Nick's things, Nick and Joey's things, because Nick was Joey's boyfriend, and Nick spent time here.  Nick slept here.  Nick and Joey had sex here.

        "I wish I could invite you.  I wish you could come with me," Joey said.

        "Where?" Ashley asked, lifting his gaze from the rumpled bedclothes.

        "There's a party at a club tomorrow night.  I wish I could take you, but it's Howie's club..."

        Howie's club.  Even if Nick didn't go, Howie would see if Joey brought Ashley, and would tell Nick.  "It's okay," Ashley said.

        "Maybe you can go," Joey said.  "If you just happen to be there, and I happen to be there, and we happen to hang out a little..."

        "Howie's not going to invite me," Ashley said.

        "The way everyone's been hanging out, one of your friends has to be going.  See if you can go with them."

        "I don't know," Ashley said.  He didn't want to cause trouble.

        "I want you to be there," Joey said, putting his hands on Ashley's hips, then sliding them back over Ashley's ass.  "I want to dance with you," Joey said, kissing Ashley's neck, his beard rough against Ashley's skin.

        "Just friends," Ashley whispered, wrapping his arms around Joey's shoulders.

        "I dance with my friends," Joey said, his hands gripping the backs of Ashley's thighs and lifting Ashley slightly against himself, then dumping Ashley back onto the bed, immediately climbing on top, kissing Ashley's mouth.

        Ashley moaned, letting Joey take his mouth, running one hand up into Joey's hair.  He was on his back under Joey in bed again, but a different bed this time, not his bed, the bed Joey shared with Nick.  They couldn't do this, it wasn't right, what about Nick, what about just being friends, what about...  Joey's hand was tugging open his fly, and then his pants and underwear were down around his knees, and his ass was naked against Joey's sheets, and Joey's strong warm hand was wrapping firmly around his hard-on.

        Ashley kicked free of his pants, then groaned, jacking his hips up against Joey's hand.  The stimulation was short-circuiting his brain, making it impossible for him to focus on anything but the touch of Joey's hand, the pump of Joey's palm on the shaft, the brush of Joey's fingers just beneath the head.  His dick was eager to let go, and he thought that if he could just keep feeling this good, he could come, and then he might get his brain back.

        It was horribly unfair, but Joey let go of his dick and started pulling up his shirt.  Ashley heard himself whimpering as he kissed Joey, wanting Joey's hand on him again.  Joey gently stopped their kiss and undressed him, dropping his shirt to the side and leaving him naked.  Joey's tongue was wet and rough over his nipple when Joey's hand reclaimed his dick, and Ashley couldn't keep from moaning, wanting more, begging in one word, "Joey, Joey, Joey..."

        When he came, the shudder of release left him limp, groaning in soft tones, pliant under Joey's hands.  Joey kissed him, and he poured his gratitude into the kiss, running his hands over Joey's shoulders.

        "You're pretty everywhere, aren't you?" Joey asked, running masculine hands up Ashley's sides.  "You're pretty all over."

        "I'm not," Ashley protested, twining his legs with Joey's.  The tough denim of Joey's jeans was rough against his legs.

        "Pretty body to match the pretty face," Joey said, sucking on his collarbone, licking at his nipples again.

        Ashley groaned, hands bunching in the cotton of Joey's shirt.  "Joey..."

        Joey pulled his shirt off, baring himself to Ashley's touch.  When their mouths met in another kiss, Ashley's hands learned Joey's torso, Joey's arms.  Joey was thicker than he was, and hairier, and Ashley had never touched another man this way.  When he brushed over a nipple, and Joey made an aroused sound into their kiss, excitement tingled up Ashley's spine.

        "Friends," Joey said, slicking his tongue into Ashley's mouth, cupping Ashley's balls in one hand.

        "Friends," Ashley repeated, kneading the muscles in Joey's back.

        "Do something for me, as a friend," Joey said, kissing him.

        "Yes," Ashley promised, willing to do anything, give anything.  Joey made him feel things that no one else ever had, and Joey saw him in new ways, and Joey made him do new things.  He didn't know what all of it meant, but it felt so good...

        Joey backed up, sitting on his heels, and unbuttoned his fly.

        Ashley found himself sitting up, breathing hard, staring.

        Joey lowered his jeans and his underwear together.  His stiff, thick erection stood up from coarse, dark curls, pre-cum pearling at the tip.  He moved, stripping fully, and came to sit beside Ashley.

        Ashley, mouth watering, put his hand to one solid, hairy thigh.  Joey was all man, masculine in every way.  No one would call Joey pretty.

        "I've been wanting your pink girl mouth on my dick," Joey said, hands on his body urging him closer.

        "I don't know how," Ashley confessed, trembling inside as he lowered himself between Joey's thighs, very aware that he was about to do this.

        "I want you to do it amateur and sloppy," Joey said, cupping his jaw, drawing him forward towards Joey's prominent erection.  "I want you to fumble it.  And then I want to come on your pretty face."

        "No," Ashley said, not sure what he was objecting to, putting his hand on Joey's hip.  Joey coaxed him up almost against it, until his lips almost brushed the shaft.  "It's too big," Ashley whispered, feeling his gut clench.

        "All the girls say that," Joey said, and released him.

        Ashley closed his eyes and pressed his lips to it.  It was hot, and hard, and thick.  He dropped slightly, beginning at the base, licking up towards the head.  He tried for steady, long strokes, applying pressure but not wanting to be rough.  He'd had this done to him, but he couldn't remember how.  What did girls do?

        Ashley tried fitting his lips over the head, but he wasn't sure how much to take into his mouth.  The first inch?  The whole thing?  He ran his tongue over the head, and Joey groaned, so he did it again, and Joey moaned. Then he realized that the position and the taste of precum were making him drool, so he tried to lick it up, slurping on the head.

        "Good and wet," Joey said, shifting his hips so that his dick rubbed against the roof of Ashley's mouth.  Joey moaned at that, and Ashley generated more spit, licking, smearing it over Joey's dick.  The wetter slide seemed to make things easier, and Ashley tried to take Joey's thick erection into his mouth again, getting another inch in this time.  He circled his fingers around the base, trying to work the shaft while he adjusted his mouth to the head.  He seemed to have lost all coordination, so he gave up, licking down the shaft again, catching up drops of spit and precum on the tip of his tongue when they rolled into Joey's crisp pubic hair.

        He had to be screwing this up, but at least Joey was still hard.  He didn't dare look up and see Joey's expression, so he kept his gaze trained on Joey’s dick, on the shift and flex of Joey’s stomach muscles.  He was making a drooling mess, he couldn’t find any sort of rhythm, and his dick was getting so hard he was distracted by his own needs.  Lust and shame were knotting in his stomach, and when he tried to get Joey’s dick down his throat he choked, backing off again.

        Just as his own mortification was becoming overwhelming, Ashley felt Joey’s hand in his hair.  “Pretty,” Joey said, and cupped his chin, Joey’s touch warm and firm.  “You don’t have to deep throat me.  Just suck on my knob and jack me off into your face.”

        Ashley’s blood ran hot with shame.  Shame at the idea of letting someone come on his face.  Shame at his own incompetence.  He couldn’t let Joey come on his face, but if he couldn’t even give a blowjob right, how would it look if he said no to that, too?  If he couldn’t please Joey in any way, Joey might not come to him again.  He didn’t want to lose Joey, not now.

        Maybe just this once.  This one time.  To make up for his amateur style.

        Ashley sucked on the head of Joey’s dick, kissing it wetly, licking it until it dripped with drool and precum.  Joey was murmuring “pretty” and stroking his hair, and when Joey’s fingers caressed his nape Ashley moaned softly, licking more roughly, sucking harder.  Joey’s fingers tugged on his hair gently, and Ashley lifted his head, fisting Joey’s dick, licking his lips, trying to get a good grip at this different angle.

        “Keep your mouth open,” Joey said, his voice thick with sex, his thumb stroking Ashley’s temple.  “Close your eyes.”

        Ashley obeyed.  His blood pounded; his dick throbbed.  Joey’s hand guided him forward until the head of Joey’s dick rubbed against his parted lips, and he kissed it, tongue automatically flicking out for it.  Joey pulled him back again, denying him his threat, and his right hand continued its jacking motion, squeezing, pulling, pumping.  There was a slow, low groan of Joey’s pleasure, and then the first shot hit his cheek, warm and wet, sticky and dripping.  Another spurt, and then another, wetting his face, slicking his lips.  He lowered his head as he milked out the last drops, licking them straight from the source, making Joey groan.

        Ashley slipped his hand from Joey’s dick, slowly opening his eyes.  Achingly hard, filled with increasingly familiar self-doubt and even shame, he kept his gaze somewhere around Joey’s navel, not yet ready for eye contact.

        Joey’s hand cupped his chin, thumb smearing cum across Ashley’s lips.  “I want to fuck you.  It’s driving me crazy, imagining how good it’s going to feel.”

        Going to feel.  Not how good it might feel, or could feel, or would in theory feel.  Joey knew that he was going to fuck Ashley, knew that Ashley would let him.  Ashley closed his eyes again.  What was he doing, what was he doing?

        “Go clean up,” Joey said, pushing his thumb between Ashley’s lips, rubbing the pad of it over Ashley’s lower teeth.  Ashley sucked on it, unable to resist.  “Come right back.”

        He was a puppet and Kevin was pulling the strings, but Chris didn’t have it in him to be shocked or ashamed or even worried about that anymore.  Once upon a time he would have dismissed the whole idea, would have ignored it and rebelled against it and maybe even told Kevin off.  Because, good lord, this kind of drama, with these people?

        But now, in these post-Brian days, Chris couldn’t bring himself to feel normal emotions anymore.  All of his emotions were already dedicated elsewhere.

        And yes, tomorrow night he’d be betraying Trevor, be letting Kevin pull the strings.  But when he thought of Kevin, he thought “Brian’s cousin,” he thought of Kevin’s cheekbones and Kevin’s jaw and how they reminded him of Brian’s.

        Brian would be there tomorrow night.

        He had every reason not to go.  He didn’t even want to go.  He didn’t want to go because Brian would be there, and there was only one, only one pain worse than being near Brian.

        The only pain worse than being near Brian was being away from Brian.

        The only thing worse than going to the club tomorrow night would be not going.

        He and Joey had made out for, god, hours, kissing like they’d be locked in an embrace forever, naked and writhing, rolling across the bed and learning each other so intimately, so thoroughly, that it had been the richest sexual experience of Ashley’s life.

        They hadn’t actually had sex, in the technical sense, but they’d come close.  They’d come very, very close.  So close Ashley was getting hard just remembering it.  So close that, with Joey’s finger fucking him inside and rubbing his prostate, with Joey’s body heavy on top of him, with Joey’s voice rough in his ear, with Joey’s erection thick against his thigh, Ashley had given in, let go, fallen and soared and come.

        Ashley wandered back downstairs, slipping into the kitchen as the doorbell rang.  He opened the refrigerator, reaching for the milk.

        Erik’s voice.  “Hey, Ashley.”

        Ashley straightened, turning.  “Hey.”

        “You have, uh, company.”  Erik hesitated.  “Nick Carter’s at the door.”

        “Right.”  Ashley looked closer.  “You’re serious?”

        “Oh, I’m serious,” Erik said.  “So’s he.”

        Nick couldn’t possibly know about Ashley’s long afternoon at Joey’s house.  If he didn’t know that Ashley had been there, he couldn’t know what they’d been doing.

        Ashley wiped his hands on his jeans.  “Okay.”  He could handle this.  It was no big deal.  He’d been taken by surprise last time, but it wasn’t like Nick intimidated him.  He had the upper hand; Joey wanted him.

        Leaving the kitchen, Ashley was surprised to see Nick standing in the foyer.  Then again, who could leave Nick Carter standing outside?

        Nick looked pissed off.  His mouth was set, his eyes were angry, and his posture was aggressive.  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Angel?”

        “What do you mean?”

        “You know what I mean.”  Nick stepped closer.  Ashley told himself to hold his ground, not to let Nick intimidate him, but Nick kept coming closer, until they were standing face to face.  Nick was just a little taller than he was, forcing him to look up.  “Are you trying to fuck him, Angel?”

        Ashley kept his voice steady.  His body was braced, muscles tensed for a fight.  “We’re friends.”

        “Do you really think that he would leave me for you?” Nick asked, his voice low, dangerous.  His eyes narrowed with threat.  “Do you really think that anyone would leave me for you?”

        Ashley breathed in for self-control, for courage.  He inhaled something warm and fresh.  God, Nick was so close Ashley could smell him.  He smelled really good.  Oh, god, Joey’s bed had smelled like this.  Ashley’s dick twitched, remembering, associating that faint scent with sex.

        Ashley swallowed.  He was getting…confused.  His dick was thinking “sex” and he wanted really badly to inhale again but he was afraid to, and his vision was filled with Nick’s face, those eyes.  Joey was handsome, yes, but Nick, Nick was gorgeous.  Ashley couldn’t even remember the question.

        Nick was dangerous.

        “Little girls who mess around with other people’s men are whores,” Nick said.  “That makes you a whore, Angel.”  He gripped Ashley’s chin in one hand, squeezing painfully.  “I’m not afraid of a stupid little whore.  But you…need to be afraid…of me.”  He shoved Ashley away and left, the front door slamming shut behind him.

        Afraid of - - afraid of - - he wasn’t afraid of Nick!  What was Nick going to do, beat him up?  Maybe their two bands could rumble like the Sharks and the Jets.  Ashley rubbed his jaw, pissed at Nick, pissed at himself for letting Nick get the final word.

        Nick could keep the final word.  Ashley was going to keep Joey.

        Footsteps behind him.  “He’s gone?”

        “Yeah,” Ashley said, turning away from the door.

        “What’d he want?” Erik asked.  “Hey, did he - - did he hit you or something?”

        “Oh, no,” Ashley said, dropping his hand.  “He tried to scare me.”

        “Yeah, I’m sure you’re terrified,” Erik said.  “Is this about Joey?”

        Ashley sighed.  “Joey and I are friends.  That’s all.”

        “Are you going to the club tomorrow night?” Erik asked.

        “I don’t know,” Ashley said.  “Joey can’t invite me because of Nick.”

        “You can come with me,” Erik said.  “Howie invited me, and he owns the place.”

        “Are you sure?” Ashley asked.  “I was going to try to find a way to go, but I don’t want to cause any trouble for Joey.”

        “Nick’s the one causing trouble,” Erik said.  “Don’t let him keep you away from a good time.”

        “It does sound like it’ll be a great party,” Ashley admitted.

        “Of course it does,” Erik said with a grin.  “I’ll be there.”

        “Yeah,” AJ said.

        “I have time,” Howie said.

        Brian started to deal the cards.

        “Have you heard from Nick yet?” Kevin asked AJ.

        “No.  He’s still staging the call.  He wasn’t sure whether to have Joey call Ashley, or stick around Joey’s and wait for Ashley to call first.”

        “How’s yours going?” Howie asked Kevin.

        “I’ll have a better idea after tomorrow night,” Kevin said.  He picked up his cards and caught Brian’s gaze.  “Is Chris up to this?”

        “He can be,” Brian said.  “Do you want me to talk to him?”

        AJ snorted.

        “No,” Kevin said.  “I want him to keep his backbone, not lose his mind.”

        “You seeing Lance tonight?” AJ asked Howie.

        Howie arranged his cards.  “Yeah.”

        Brian’s phone rang.  Kevin stretched for it on a nearby table and handed it over.  Brian checked the caller ID and turned off the ringer, setting the phone aside.

        “Poor guy,” AJ said.

        “You could let him talk to you,” Howie said.

        “You could let him come over,” AJ added.  “Let him have some.”

        Brian slowly ran his thumb across the tops of his cards.  His touch lingered.  A faint, warm smile curved his lips.

        Joey, on the other couch across the room, was trying not to think about sex with Ashley or sex with Nick.  Or sex between Nick and JC, Nick and Ashley, or Nick and AJ.  Not that he thought Nick and AJ had ever had sex together; then again, he wouldn’t bet against it, either.

        Nick’s presence in his home was horribly maddening.  He didn’t want Nick in his house, and he really didn’t want Nick on his sofa watching his TV.  Nick was ignoring him, and he thought that Nick was an arrogant bastard for that, but he was also begrudgingly grateful for it, because the idea of holding a conversation with Nick was intolerable.

        He couldn’t believe he’d let Nick fuck him.

        God, he hated Nick.

        “You didn’t fuck him, did you?”

        Joey’s head snapped up; his gaze went straight to Nick.  “What?”

        “Ashley.”  Nick glanced away from the TV briefly.  “You didn’t fuck him, did you?”

        “No.”  He didn’t need Nick to check up on him to see if he’d followed directions.  On the other hand, it was important for Nick to know what was happening between him and Ashley.  He’d told Nick everything else as things had progressed.  But that had been over the phone.  Face to face was different.  Nick had a lot of presence, more than Joey had expected.  It was almost compelling, and Joey hated that, too.

        “He’s cute,” Nick said.  He shrugged, eyes on the screen as he flipped through a few more channels.  “I’d let him suck my dick.  He suck yours?”

        Nick glanced over to him again, eyes a soft, clear blue.  Joey really wondered what he was like with JC when they were alone together.  Every time Joey saw him in public, Nick was a different person.  It made Joey wonder who he really was, and who got to see and know that version.

        AJ had been like that.  One person with the press, one person with the fans; one person in the clubs, one person between the sheets.  One person with the rest of the world, one person with Joey.  Joey had been led to believe that he knew the real AJ, and what drove him crazy was, maybe he had.

        “Yeah,” Joey said.  He grinned to himself, remembering that pretty mouth on his dick.  “Twice.”

        “Yeah?” Nick asked with mild interest.  “How was it?”

        “Sloppy,” Joey said.  “He didn’t know what he was doing.”

        Nick smiled, but something proud and malicious was creeping in behind his eyes.  “Then we’ll teach him.”

        Joey didn’t like Nick, and he definitely didn’t trust Nick, and he’d be happy if he never had to deal with Nick again; but something about that “we,” that inclusion, that suggestion of partnership, stroked his ego.

        The phone rang.  Nick sat up a little straighter as Joey picked up the phone.  “Ashley,” Joey said, checking the ID.

        “You know what you’re doing?” Nick asked.

        “Yeah,” Joey said defensively.  They’d been over it several times to work out the possible scripts.  He let the phone ring twice more, then answered.  “Hey,” he said in a near-whisper.

        “Joey?” Ashley asked.

        “I can’t really talk now,” Joey said.  “Are you okay?  Did Nick touch you?”

        “No, I’m fine,” Ashley said.  “What happened?  How did he know?”

        Nick was coming across the room, licking his lips, pushing his hair back with both hands.  Joey tried to ignore him.  “I don’t know.”

        “Hey,” Nick said, loudly enough for Ashley to hear him.  “Who’s on the phone?”  He came onto the couch, kneeling across Joey’s lap.

        Joey pulled back, not wanting Nick anywhere near that close to him.  “It’s my mom,” he said, putting his hand up to muffle the sound but not block it out.

        Nick leaned in, kissing his cheek.  “Tell her you’ll call back later,” he murmured, and kissed Joey’s mouth.

        Joey broke away, heat rising in his face.  “Give me a minute,” he said, not having to fake his breathless tone.

        “I don’t want to wait,” Nick whispered, kissing him again.  Joey kissed him back, wet, open-mouthed, their tongues slicking against each other.  “I want you now,” Nick whispered, kissing his neck, hands pulling up his shirt.  Joey moaned, missing Nick’s mouth, shuddering, skin hot and alive.  He was hyper-aware of every inch of flesh that Nick touched, flushed with heat, letting his eyes fall shut.

        Nick gently guided his hand back to his face.  Startled, Joey remembered the phone.  The call.  Ashley.  He cleared his throat.  “Mom,” he said.  “So you’re,” he bit back a moan, “all right?”

        “Joey?” Ashley asked.  He sounded urgent, and confused.

        “Yeah,” Joey said.  Nick squeezed his hard-on through his pants, and Joey groaned, head falling back against the back of the sofa.  “I don’t know, I didn’t say, say a-anything about that.”  He moaned, squeezing his eyes shut, grinding into Nick’s hand.  Nick licked a wicked, hot path up his neck, tongue flicking against his jaw, and sucked on his lower lip, teeth nipping gently.  Joey couldn’t help but make an overwhelmed, hurt noise, and he knew that Ashley could hear Nick’s deliberately heavy breathing, and he didn’t even care.

        “Let’s fuck,” Nick whispered, “let’s fuck right now, right here.”

        Joey kissed Nick hungrily, bringing one hand to Nick’s neck, fingers pushing up into thick hair, keeping Nick’s mouth close.  Nick made a slow, breathy moaning sound, and Joey got that much harder.  “Say good-bye,” Nick whispered.  “Call back later.  You’re mine now.”

        “Mom, I have to,” Joey groaned, “I have to go.  I’ll call you tomorrow.”

        “I…  Joey,” Ashley whispered.

        “We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” Joey said.  “I promise.”

        “Tell her you love her,” Nick reminded him, squeezing his dick.

        “I love you,” Joey said, panting, holding back a rough moan.

        Nick took the phone from him, and kissed him.  Joey’s world narrowed to Nick’s mouth, the sleek sex of Nick’s tongue, the soft cling and press of Nick’s lips.  Both hands free now, Joey started to lift Nick’s shirt.

        Nick made a sweet, negative noise against his mouth, pushing his hands away.  “This one’s free,” Nick said, licking across his lips, bearing down on his dick.

        Groaning, grunting, gripped by orgasm, Joey shot cum inside his pants, tense and tight under Nick’s body.  Sweating, shivering, Joey blinked his eyes open, not quite sure what had happened.

        Nick brushed a soft, oddly intimate kiss over his lips.  “I’ll call you tomorrow about the club.  Good work tonight.”  Another kiss, and Nick rose from him, turning and leaving his line of sight.

        By the time Joey had managed to sit up, he heard the front door close.

        Jesus.  Fuck!  Joey wiped sweat from his face with one hand.  The phone call had been great, it had been ideal.  That little “I love you” had been a viciously nice touch.  Nick was diabolical.

        And that was the problem.  Had Nick just fucked him over?  Manipulated and used him?  Done him a favor?  Had that been business or pleasure?

        He didn’t want it to have been business.  He couldn’t stand the thought of Nick kissing him like that, touching him like that, with callous and calculated intent.

        But pleasure?  He wasn’t going to get involved with Nick, didn’t want that to be even a possibility.  He was in this to ruin Ashley, to fuck over those ungrateful wannabes, not to make friends.  Certainly not to get close to Nick.  After this, he never wanted to see Nick again.

        He was using Nick, and Nick was using him.  That was how this had been set up; that was how this worked.

        “This one’s free.”  He didn’t know how to take that.

        He wished he could ask someone how Nick worked, so he’d be better prepared.  He kept getting blindsided, and he hated it.  If only he could ask AJ.  Maybe he could ask JC.

        JC.

        Fuck.

        No, JC would understand.  He was with Nick, JC was with Howie, Lance was with Brian - - they were all in this together, making sacrifices.  They all understood.  He wasn’t betraying JC.

        He wasn’t.

        Nick had…  Joey…

        He’d been with Joey, he’d gotten Joey aroused, he’d heard Joey panting and groaning.  He knew those sounds.

        And the way Nick had sounded, the things Nick had said.  Not just the words, but the sound of his voice, so sexual, so seductive, coaxing and convincing.

        I love you.  I love you.  Joey hadn’t been speaking to him, but it had been Joey’s voice, Joey’s words in his ear, and it had sounded almost like…

        Joey wasn’t in love with him.  He wasn’t in love with Joey.

        Joey wasn’t in love with Nick, either.  Joey was with Nick for sex.  Ashley could give Joey sex, too, and more, much more.  He could give Joey more than Nick ever could.

        He could.

        Couldn’t he?

matthew@matthewtime.com
"Sucker"
Boyslash
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