"Sucker"

Sucker

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Continued from part thirty-four...

He’d jumped to conclusions. He’d made assumptions. And he was damned glad that he hadn’t been stupid enough to say anything to Lance, because he would have looked like a fool.

Lance hadn’t been upset about his ring question because Lance had proposed. Lance had been upset about it because of course Lance had bought Howie a ring. Lance had bought every damned ring that Howie owned. Every damned piece of jewelry. It was bound to be a sensitive subject.

If he’d brought up the idea of proposing, he would have humiliated himself. Lance would have thought that he was crazy. Lance? Proposing to someone who was out to destroy him? Proposing to someone who’d devastated his family and alienated him from them in the process? Proposing to someone who’d been dead set on breaking his heart?

That would have been just like JC proposing to someone who’d burned down his house.

JC laughed, but it felt like crying. Pulling away from thoughts of Nick, he returned to the subject of Howie. Howie and that emotional fight. He’d never seen Howie like that before, that intense, that passionate. He hated to admit it, because Howie had been lying to him, but amid the lies, Howie had made some good points.

It was hard to say with complete conviction that Howie had been lying, because that dramatic display, that emotional outpouring. The outrage. The pain.

But given the choice of either Lance or Howie, JC had to believe in Lance. Lance wouldn’t lie to him. Not about their pasts and their pain, not about anything.

Picking up his phone, JC dialed Lance’s number.

“Lance’s house,” Joey’s voice said.

“I’m on my way over,” JC said. “Just wanted to make sure someone was still there.”

“Just me and Lance,” Joey said. “Join the party.”

“Okay,” JC said. “I’m almost there.”

JC heard Lance in the background, and then Joey said, “Let yourself in, and pick up some wine on your way to the hot tub. We’re out.”

Laughing, JC said, “Okay. Five minutes. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Ashley rolled out of bed and began tracking down his clothes. He felt strange about how well things were going with Nick. He felt guilty about being with Nick behind Joey’s back. He wanted to go home, home where he could avoid Nick, home where he could call Joey and maybe get an answer.

Dressed, he walked tentatively through Nick’s house, peering through open doorways. He found Nick in the kitchen, making sandwiches.

“Hey,” Ashley said. He ruffled his hair. “I’d better go. We’re all supposed to be spending more time at the house, so…”

“Do you have a curfew?” Nick asked, closing the mustard jar.

“Not exactly,” Ashley hedged, shifting from foot to foot.

“So stay and eat something before you go. You have to be hungry.”

Truth be told, he was starving. “I don’t know.” He could pick something up on the way home. He really didn’t want to spend more time with Nick than he already had.

Raising his eyebrows, Nick pushed a plate in Ashley’s direction.

Who the hell was he kidding? “Thanks,” Ashley said, and sat.

JC lowered himself into the water, accepting the glass that Lance handed him. Lance’s face was flushed, as much from the wine as from the heat of the tub. Not that it was exactly unusual to find Lance and Joey drunk in a hot tub, but judging from the drunken, determined, “No one can hurt me against my will” expression on Lance’s face and the “Watch what you say” look on Joey’s, there was something going on. “Who started this?”

“Joey’s soothing his aching back,” Lance said. “I’m soothing my aching heart.” He looked pissed about it.

“Brian called,” Joey explained to JC.

“What did he want?” JC asked Lance.

“He wanted to get laid.” Lance’s smile suggested that he wasn’t happy about being Brian’s booty call. “So I drove over there and fucked him.”

JC took a sip of wine to buy some time. He wasn’t sure what to say.

“How’s Howie?” Lance’s gaze was suddenly much clearer.

Too late, JC wished that he’d found something to say on the subject of Brian, to avoid this conversation. “He’s mad at me.” Maybe that would make Lance feel better. “We had a fight, and he stormed out.”

“Of his own house?” Joey asked.

“What’d you fight about?” Lance asked.

“I accused him of lying to me,” JC said, beginning with a general statement, not sure how to explain further without hurting Lance. How could he say that Howie had denied Lance’s claims?

Lance coughed, then took a drink, obviously trying to cover laughter.

“What?” JC asked. Lance thought it was funny that JC and Howie were fighting? Well, maybe he did.

“Nothing,” Lance said. He cleared his throat, clearly still amused. “You’ll learn.”

“Learn what?” Joey asked.

“Nothing,” Lance repeated, smiling.

“Glad I could cheer you up,” JC said, wondering what was going on in Lance’s mind. His phone rang. “Can you see who that is?” he asked Joey.

Reaching over the side of the tub, Joey picked up JC’s phone. “Erik-Michael. You want it?”

JC quickly shook his head. “Howie can handle that however he wants to. He’s the one who agreed to see him tonight.”

“You sure it’s safe to let Howie handle him without you?” Joey asked.

“You’re the one who told Nick to check on Ashley for you,” Lance said.

“I had more important things to take care of,” Joey said.

“And so do I,” JC said, stretching out his legs. “To important things, like friends,” he said, raising his glass.

“Friends,” Joey agreed, raising his glass to JC’s.

Lance touched his glass to theirs. “Friends.”

Pushing at AJ’s chest with one hand, Justin bit AJ’s shoulder. Cursing, AJ kissed Justin roughly, his thrusts almost painfully hard. “Are you trying to - - oh, oh, damn it - - fucking punish me?” Justin asked. The way AJ’s body moved and the way AJ’s hips rocked and the force with which AJ fucked were familiar now, something Justin was used to and was beginning to associate with sexual pleasure. His dick was hard; it turned him on to get fucked like this because he knew the satisfaction of the release to come. But he hadn’t expected to enjoy the rest of the overall experience. He’d never roughed up his sexual partners, and he hadn’t seen anything appealing in the idea.

But it wasn’t being roughed up. It was getting physical. Enjoying the physical nature of sex, enjoying AJ’s strength and aggression, testing his own. Exploring the innate push and pull of his adversarial relationship with AJ on another level.

Grunting, AJ kept pounding into Justin, rocking Justin’s body with each thrust. The force of it was gradually pushing Justin across the floor. “You’ve been, unh, a naughty, bad little boy,” AJ said, panting, and smacked Justin’s thigh. “I’m gonna spank,” thrust, “your,” smack, “ass.”

Justin slapped AJ across the face.

“What’s the matter?” AJ asked, grabbing his wrist and pinning it down over his head, looking at him like all of his dirty secrets were exposed and laughable. “Only Kevin gets to spank you?”

“You want to fuck or talk?” Justin demanded, wrenching his wrist free to grab AJ’s shoulders, pulling him down for a crude kiss. AJ growled against Justin’s mouth, one fist slamming down beside Justin’s head. Unable to leave any marks on Justin, AJ had been taking out his aggression and frustration on the rest of the house, hitting the floor and kicking the furniture.

Justin had been faced with no such limitations and had been able to express his hatred for AJ very physically, clawing and biting and scratching and shoving. There was a bruise on AJ’s hip; Justin had left his own teeth marks over it, learning in the process that biting existing bruises was a huge turn-on for AJ. Justin didn’t know whether the bruise was from Joey or not, and didn’t know whether that would make a difference.

Fighting with AJ was cathartic, just like dancing and fucking were. It helped that AJ managed to blend those activities to points where Justin couldn’t tell where one ended and the next began. The brutality of AJ’s thrusts had Justin groaning with something like pain, but maybe that was pleasure. Clawing at AJ’s shoulder, making aroused and desperate and angry sounds, Justin pumped his own erection, pushing himself towards the edge and orgasm. He was already so close, it wasn’t going to take much more to get him off. The way AJ was thrusting into him was hammering steady spikes of ecstasy straight through his body and into his brain, impaling him on forced pleasure.

“Take it,” AJ growled, and hit the floor again. He gripped Justin’s shoulder, holding Justin steady, driving in deep, hard and thick, rolling his body and snapping his hips with each thrust. “Take it, bitch, take it!”

“I’m not - - god oh god - - your bitch - - fuck!” and Justin was coming, squirting jism onto his own chest. God, oh, “Fuck you,” he panted, boneless, squeezing his eyes shut and arching as AJ kept going. It felt too good, it wouldn’t stop feeling good, pleasure was popping and flaring all through his body without pattern or cessation. “Shit, fuck, AJ…”

“Now you’re my whore,” AJ said, panting. “And I know you, oh yeah, love it.” AJ moaned like it hurt, pushing Justin’s knee out of his way and fucking in deeper.

Groaning in response, digging his nails into AJ’s back without regard for AJ’s pain, trying to get a grip on his own pleasure as his body moaned around AJ’s dick, Justin ached anew with each thrust. “Fuck you,” he panted, unable to summon up any more intelligent insult while his body was rocking with the force of AJ’s intensity.

AJ was moaning in steady rhythm, closing his eyes and twisting the corner of a rug in a white-knuckled grip. He pulled so hard that the rug jerked forward and something fell off of the table. “Shut up, you’re, oh, oh, ah, ruining my, ah, oh, ah, ah…”

“If I - - oh, god - - have to - - ah, ah, AJ - - shut up then you - - oh god, oh god, oh - - have to - - unh, unh, unh - - stop - - oh god-” Justin clawed AJ’s back, twisting around under AJ’s body, trying to find an angle where each thrust wouldn’t deliver blinding pleasure.

“Go to, oh yeah, hell, oh, oh, fuck-” Groaning, AJ pulled his dick out and jacked it quickly, spilling across Justin’s thighs. “Oh, yeah,” he moaned, eyes closing. “Oh, god, yes…” Tension rippled through AJ’s body. “Damn,” he panted, releasing his dick and slumping forward, catching himself on his hands and resting there heavily. Thick lashes resting on his cheek, breath coming roughly through parted lips, AJ lowered himself to Justin’s body, resting his forehead on Justin’s chest.

Justin stroked AJ’s hair, relaxing his legs. “Don’t ever call me your bitch again.”

“You got off on it,” AJ said against his chest.

Justin glared at the top of AJ’s head. “That was a coincidence.”

AJ shrugged.

Irritated, Justin stroked AJ’s shoulders. AJ had a good body. Not perfect like Kevin’s, though. “Kevin has an amazing body. It’s perfect.”

“I’ll bet, in your eyes, his dick glows,” AJ said. “And his cum tastes like sugar.”

“Tastes better than yours,” Justin said, caressing AJ’s nape.

AJ laughed. “I’d argue with you, but there’s no point.”

“You know what’s stupid,” Joey said, gazing at the ceiling through lazily half-closed eyes.

“Jacob’s hair,” Lance said.

JC laughed.

“If AJ weren’t AJ, I’d tell him to go fuck himself.” Joey let his eyes close the rest of the way. “If anybody else pulled that shit, I’d just say ‘fuck you’ and get over it. I wouldn’t put up with any of it. I’d never let anybody do this to me. But it’s AJ, so I just roll over for it.” He could say it if he didn’t look at anyone. “I can’t stop loving him and I hate myself for it.”

A quiet splash. “I know what you mean,” Lance said.

“You know what’s stupid,” JC said. “Nick isn’t even my type. My type is more like… I don’t know, but it’s not Nick. But I love him so much, he’s so perfect in my mind, that it’s like he’s the sum of everything I want. He’s changed everything I look for. He doesn’t have the right personality or the right body type or anything, he’s not even the right age, if he were anyone else I’d ask myself what the hell I was doing with him. But, god, Nick is the only man I really, truly want to be with.” JC fell silent; Joey opened his eyes to see JC studying a wineglass. “It was easier when they were leaving us alone. There was space between us, there was distance, I could pretend that I was moving on. Now he’s back and he’s around and I can’t not want him. I see him and my brain, my entire body - - I feel compelled to go to him. I can’t not be in love with him.”

“Of course you’re in love with him,” Lance said. “He’s good to you.”

Startled, JC laughed and stared at Lance. “Good to me?” He dropped his glass; Joey caught it. “You think that Nick’s good to me?”

“Isn’t he?” Lance asked, eyes narrowing, voice challenging.

“No!” JC shouted. “Yes,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “Yes, he’s good to me, he treats me well, he’s been very nice to me since he broke my heart.” With a slow sigh, JC looked at Lance. “You don’t know Nick very well. You don’t know how manipulative he is. He can make me feel like the center of the universe with one look, he can make me feel cherished with one smile. But when he wants to, he can make me work for his love. I have to jump through hoops to get a fraction of the love and attention I used to get every day! He acts like everything is cool and everything is okay, when we’re finally face-to-face in front of other people he’s so damned nice to me, but when I call him he won’t answer. Nick doesn’t want to see me, Nick doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He says that we have to keep our distance now because of the game, but what about before? And why can’t we see each other when the rest of you can? Why won’t he be honest with me? Why won’t he just tell me what’s really going on?”

Joey couldn’t imagine what the hell was wrong with Nick, that he could deliberately hurt JC like this. How could Nick be such a damned asshole and get away with it?

“I would have done anything to make Nick happy. I would have done anything to get him to love me. And for such a long time, I thought that he did. I thought that we were in love with each other. I thought that we were going to be together forever. Do you understand what I mean?” JC asked. “I thought that we were going to be together, a couple, partners, for the rest of our lives. It wasn’t my future, his future, it was our future. Our life. Together. Except he didn’t mean it,” JC continued, his voice becoming harsh, biting. “He didn’t love me, he’d never loved me. Nick never gave a shit about me. It was a game! A game! He was playing a fucking game!”

“How could they not have meant any of it?” Lance demanded. “How could he have been with you, spending time with you, taking you out, making love, planning a future, and not meant any of it? Some of it had to mean something!”

“Nick never loved me!” JC shouted. “I think that he’s the most amazing gorgeous wonderful person I’ve ever known and he never gave a shit about me!”

“He must have,” Joey said. “At some point he must have. He had to have felt something for you, once. You were together for too long, you spent too much time together-”

“Does AJ love you?” JC asked. “Did AJ ever love you?”

“I don’t know,” Joey admitted. “I don’t know about love. I don’t know what he’s ever felt for me. I’d like to think that there’s something between us, but…” He shrugged, setting aside JC’s glass, using the movement to avoid their gazes. “I want him to want me as much as I want him.”

“It’s more than sex,” Lance said. “You want him to love you.”

“He acted like he did, once,” Joey said. “He told me that he did. He acted like…”

“Like what?” JC asked, sitting forward.

“It’s so stupid,” Joey said, looking away. “I was so stupid to believe in any of it. He played me for such a fool, he made me look like such an ass.” It was too hard to say, too hard to admit how he’d felt, how much he’d felt, how strongly he’d loved, what he’d gone through… Even without describing what he’d done, talking about how he’d felt, the emotional ups and downs, it was too much.

“It happened to all of us,” JC said, putting his hand on Joey’s arm. “I know it happened to me.”

The other guys opened up more often, shared more easily, and Joey wondered if that made things easier for them. Maybe it helped to tell someone who understood. Maybe it just helped to be understood. “I knew that I could share everything with him.” Joey scratched his eyebrow, searching for words to explain. “We were equals in everything that we did. He was the perfect partner. I’d never experienced anything like it before. I’d had friends and I’d had girlfriends but I’d never had one person who was everything, all in one.”

“He seemed perfect for you,” JC said. “He’s a lot like you, you had so much in common.”

“But he was different enough to have that edge, to keep you interested,” Lance said.

Joey stared at them, surprised. “How well do you guys know me?”

Lance laughed. “We know everything about you.”

“You were in love,” JC said. “We paid attention.”

“You were in love with a guy,” Lance added. “We paid a lot of attention.”

“What kinds of friends would we be if you fell in love and we didn’t even notice or care?” JC asked.

“I remember you didn’t want to tell us that you were in love with him,” Lance said. “We had to ask you.”

“I told you before I told him,” Joey said. He looked away. “That was one of my worst mistakes.”

Lounging naked and lazy on the sofa, AJ watched Justin dress. “Next time you start losing it, call me.”

“I’m fine,” Justin said. He stopped moving, half in and half out of his shirt. AJ’s eyebrows rose. With a sigh, Justin pulled his shirt the rest of the way down. “I’m not fine,” he admitted, “and I have to stop lying and pretending when I’m around people who know better.”

“That would be a good step,” AJ agreed, resting one hand on his stomach.

“I’m a complete fucking mess,” Justin said, sitting down to put on his socks and shoes. “And I still don’t think of you as my first call.”

“I can be very helpful,” AJ reminded him.

Justin looked like he wanted to laugh. “Yeah,” he said. “You can.” Rising, he stepped closer to the sofa. “Any Dan-related instructions?”

“Just work on keeping yourself together,” AJ said. “He can take a backseat for a day or two.”

“Okay.” Justin leaned down and kissed AJ’s mouth. “See you later.”

“Later,” AJ said.

Lance brought out a new bottle and they passed it around, foregoing glasses to take direct swigs. “Why do we need them?” Lance asked. “What do we even need from them?”

“We need them to love us,” JC said.

“We need to know that everything we went through wasn’t for nothing,” Joey said.

“Nick made me feel great about myself,” JC said. “I want to get that feeling back.”

“Howie took up all of my time, my energy, my money, my emotions,” Lance said. “I’ll never get any of it back.” He handed the bottle to JC. “I wonder how Brian would explain making Chris pay for sex.”

JC swallowed, then licked his lips. “I’d pay Nick for sex.”

Joey snorted, taking the bottle. “I’d pay AJ for sex.”

“I should make Brian pay me,” Lance said. “I should make him pay me to fuck him, and then I should give the money to Chris.”

“He’d love that,” Joey said.

“Who the hell does Brian think he is?” Lance asked. “He doesn’t love me, he never loved Chris, he has this whole friendly harmless act - - he’s probably worse than the rest of them put together.”

Joey took a long drink. “Nobody’s worse than Kevin.”

Justin parked on the street at the end of Kevin’s driveway and looked at the house.

The constant shine of headlights attracted Kevin’s attention. He walked to the window and pulled the curtain aside just enough to identify Justin’s car. He wasn’t surprised.

After about twenty minutes, the headlights cut off and the engine stopped.

“Come on,” Kevin murmured. “You know what you need.”

The driver’s side door opened. Justin stepped out, leaving the door open behind him like he was abandoning the car without thought, and walked up the driveway like he was drawn to the house.

“Good boy,” Kevin whispered.

Justin reached the front door.

Kevin stepped back from the window, turning away. He’d seen what he’d wanted to see.

The doorbell rang.

Kevin went into the back room, picking up the TV remote and sitting down.

The doorbell rang.

Kevin turned on the TV, flipping through a few channels.

The doorbell rang.

Justin knew that Kevin didn’t like having his doorbell rung repeatedly. Just like any other stupid animal, if any time passed, he forgot everything that he’d learned and had to be taught all over again from square one. He was lucky that Kevin was a patient and forgiving man.

Chris had gotten into his car in Brian’s garage, but at the last minute he’d pulled Brian down onto his lap. “I don’t want to go,” he said, his arms wrapped tightly around Brian’s waist and his face pressed to Brian’s neck.

“I know,” Brian whispered, resting solidly against Chris’s chest, closing Chris in his embrace.

“I don’t want you to go,” Chris said.

“I have to,” Brian said softly. “I have to be with Jacob.”

Chris forced himself to breathe evenly, nuzzling into the curls at the back of Brian’s neck.

“I love you,” Brian said, gently stroking Chris’s hair. “I love you, Chris. We’ll be together soon. I’ll call you, I promise. You know I keep my promises.”

It was wrong to feel this good and this bad at the same time. It was wrong to want to shout with joy and scream with pain at the same time, to want to laugh and cry.

Brian kissed his cheek. “I love you, Chris. If you let me go now, I’ll come back to you later.”

Chris opened his eyes and swallowed the fear. He looked into Brian’s eyes and saw what Brian wanted. Carefully, with tremendous reluctance, he let go.

Brian kissed him gently and rose. “Good-bye, Chris.”

Chris pulled the door shut. “Good-bye,” he whispered, as Brian let up the garage door. “I love you, too.”

Lance lowered the bottle and looked at JC. “You’re still shaving.”

“What? Yeah,” JC said.

“For Nick?” Joey asked.

“Yeah,” JC said.

Lance took a meditative drink. “Does Howie like it?”

JC shrugged loosely. “I don’t know. Erik does.”

Joey made a disgusted noise.

“Maybe I should shave,” Lance said.

Joey made a negative sound. “Blond hair’s good.”

“What?” Lance asked.

“Keep it,” Joey said.

“Keep it,” JC agreed. “Blond hair’s sexy.”

“Body hair?” Lance asked. “Pubic hair?”

Joey grinned. “Absolutely.”

“Absolutely,” JC echoed, eyes closing.

“What?” Lance asked.

The phone rang.

“Get that,” Joey said.

JC made a sleepy noise.

Lance reached over the side of the tub. Things were blurry. Or spinning. “Hello?”

“He’s so beautiful,” JC murmured.

“Lance?”

“Oh, god, I love him,” JC whispered, and turned away.

“Nick?” Lance asked.

“What?” asked the voice in his ear.

“Justin?” Lance asked the phone, rubbing his eyes. “What the hell’s going on?” he asked Joey. “Get him out of here before he falls asleep in my tub,” he said, pushing Joey’s shoulder.

“Justin?” Joey asked, looking around.

“JC,” Lance said, prodding him again. “Justin?”

“What’s going on?” Justin asked.

“Hell if I know.” Lance ducked to avoid injury as Joey climbed out of the hot tub. “Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Are you drunk?” Justin asked.

“I think so,” Lance said. “I know JC is.”

“Is everybody there?” Justin asked. “Can I come over?”

“You’re supposed to come over,” Lance said. “Are you okay?” Had he already asked that question?

“Is Chris there?”

“No,” Lance said. “JC and Joey are here.” He moved aside as Joey dragged JC out of the tub. “Come over.”

“Is Chris with Kevin?”

“I don’t know,” Lance said. “Come over.” He’d definitely said that already. “Just come here.”

“Bye.”

“Justin. Justin?” No response. “Shit.” Lance hung up. “Shit.” The doorbell rang. He looked around; he was alone in the bathroom. God. Lance climbed out of the hot tub, pulling on a robe. The doorbell rang again. “Shut up,” he muttered, scuffing his feet on the bath mat. It rang again. “If it’s that damned urgent, let yourself in.”

Chris let himself in, closing the door. He felt weird, he felt skittish. He didn’t know what his problem was. He was supposed to be overjoyed. He was supposed to be celebrating. Brian was in love with him. He was back together with Brian. What was wrong with him? Why wasn’t he shouting it from the rooftops?

Lance came down the hallway, tying his robe shut. “Hey.”

“You like that?” Chris shook his head, putting his hand to the wall for balance.

“Justin’s on his way over,” Lance said.

“…greedy slut…” Chris blinked rapidly, confused. He couldn’t remember… Something was wrong but… He couldn’t remember.

“Maybe he’s not,” Lance said. “Maybe we should call him back. Maybe from your phone.”

“You’re wet,” Chris said.

Lance looked down at himself.

“And drunk,” Chris added. “Where are Joey and JC?” He’d seen their cars in the driveway.

“I don’t know,” Lance said. “We were in the hot tub,” he added. “Justin called.”

“You want me to call him?” Chris asked, taking Lance’s arm and steering him down the hallway.

“Yeah,” Lance said. “Use your phone.”

“Okay.” Justin probably thought that he’d been with Kevin, and Chris didn’t want to lie, but he also couldn’t say where he really had been. Entering Lance’s room, he saw JC and Joey sprawled naked over Lance’s bed, asleep. “Having an interesting night?” he guessed.

“Get up,” Lance said, pulling on Joey’s arm.

“You like that?” Chris let go, stepping away from Lance. “I’ll call Justin,” he said, and left the room quickly.

What was wrong with him? “Brian loves me,” he whispered. “I love Brian. Brian loves me.” Repeating the words until he felt calmer, he pulled out his phone and dialed.

“Is Kevin there?” Justin asked immediately.

“No,” Chris said. “I’m at Lance’s house.”

“Were you with Kevin?” Justin asked.

“No,” Chris said. “I had to get out. Get away. I needed some…time.”

“Oh.” Justin was disappointed. “Okay.”

“Are you on your way here?” Chris asked.

“Yeah,” Justin said. “I’m pulling in now.”

“Okay,” Chris said.

“I went to Kevin’s house,” Justin said.

“Did he let you in?” Chris asked, walking to the front door.

“No,” Justin said. “I don’t know if he was there.”

Chris opened the front door and watched Justin get out of the car. He hung up as Justin did, and let Justin into the house. “How was AJ?”

“I didn’t used to like being fucked up the ass,” Justin said. “Remember when that seemed like the most horrible, unnatural thing ever?”

“Yeah,” Chris said. He did, vaguely. That had been life before Brian. “I never understood why anybody would want that. I never let women even touch me there.”

“I know. It was like the danger zone. And other guys were like… They were people, they were just other guys, some of them were my friends and some of them were strangers and some of them were jerks, but they were just…people.”

“If I’d met Trevor before, I never would have even thought about kissing him,” Chris said. “The idea wouldn’t have made sense to me.”

“I still don’t want all guys,” Justin said. “I don’t even want most guys. I want, like, three of them. But why? What did he do to my head?”

“I don’t know,” Chris said. It didn’t make sense, and he was living through it. “I used to be straight, and now I’m probably gay, and that’s actually the least of my problems.”

“Are you gay?” Justin asked.

“I can only get it up for three people, and they’re all men,” Chris said. “What about you?”

“I don’t know,” Justin said. “I don’t have labels or names for anything that’s happening to me. It feels good to be with Dan, it feels natural to be with AJ, but if I could just get away from Kevin for long enough, I think I’d be with women.”

“Do you want to be away from him?” Chris asked.

“I should want to,” Justin said. “In the back of my head, I know that everyone’s right. I’d be better off without him. The longer he leaves me alone, the better chance I have of getting better.”

“But?” Chris asked.

Justin couldn’t even smile. “But I want him to come back to me.”

Dressing in the dark, Ashley tried to be as quiet as possible. Still, as he fastened his fly, he heard Nick’s voice, hushed and seductive. “Come back to bed.”

Heat and desire wound around Ashley’s spine. Why did Nick do this to him? “I can’t,” he said hastily. “It’s late, I have to go.”

“Come here and kiss me good-bye.”

He wasn’t going to be drawn back in. He’d kiss Nick and leave. Simple. Ashley walked closer to the bed, leaning down. There was the sweetly soft brush of lips, then a deep, clinging kiss, hands tugging on him, and he was astride Nick’s lap, tangled in Nick’s kiss, groaning into Nick’s low moans of pleasure and stroking Nick’s chest with both hands.

Justin studied the bed.

Joey was on his stomach, hugging a pillow, snoring, naked. Lance was on his side, robe falling open, generous amounts of smooth, tanned flesh exposed. JC was asleep between them, lips parted, hair curling away from his face.

“Disgusting,” Chris said.

Justin shook his head. “Maybe we should just leave.”

“They’re your friends, they’re going to support you,” Chris said. He smacked Joey’s ass. “Wake up!”

Joey grunted, rubbed vaguely at his thigh, and went back to sleep.

“Never mind,” Chris said. “Come on,” he told Justin. “We can finish the wine they so kindly left for us.”

“I can’t,” Ashley whispered, aching inside and out. “I can’t, not again. We already… You’re so big…”

“Roll over,” Nick whispered, kissing him. “Trust me.”

“Who was at the door?” Erik asked, as Trevor walked into the kitchen.

“Brian,” Trevor said, opening the refrigerator.

“Did Ashley call yet?”

“No,” Trevor said, closing the refrigerator and opening the freezer.

“Do you want to stay up and watch the marathon with me? Back-to-back episodes, twenty-four hours.”

“No,” Trevor said, closing the freezer and turning away.

“Are you going to be depressed like this all week?”

“Yeah,” Trevor said, and left the room.

Writhing sinuously, whimpering between moans, Ashley pushed back against Nick’s tongue.

Chris raided Lance’s kitchen while Justin poured wine from the bottle he’d found in the bathroom. “Did you talk to Dan?”

“No,” Justin said, sitting on the sofa with Chris. “He’s called, but I never answered. I don’t know what to say.”

“Say hello,” Chris suggested, handing him a sandwich.

Justin didn’t want to talk about himself. “Has Trevor called?”

Chris shook his head.

“It’s okay,” Justin said. He knew that Chris felt bad about hurting Trevor. “If he really loves you, he’ll take you back, no matter what. Now, and when this is over.”

“He’s not going to want me after this is over,” Chris said. He started to pull his sandwich apart. “And I’m always going to be in love with someone else.”

“If Brian loved someone else, but couldn’t have that person and settled for being with you in the meantime, would you say no?” Justin asked.

“No,” Chris said. He shredded his crust. “Trevor’s never going to love me like I love Brian. He shouldn’t.”

“Love’s stupid and strange and weird,” Justin said. “It’s never going to make sense.”

Chris ate a pickle slice. “Call Dan.”

“I choked his best friend and let AJ fuck me,” Justin said. “I don’t want to talk to him.”

Chris didn’t bother to look at him. “Yes, you do.”

Dan walked into the living room where Erik was watching TV. “Did Ashley call?”

“Nope,” Erik said.

“Weren’t you watching this two hours ago?”

“It’s a marathon.” Erik crossed his ankles. “You want to watch?”

Dan sat beside him, accepting the offered soda. “Brian’s here?”

“Yeah.” A commercial break began. “You talk to Justin?”

“Not since this morning.”

Erik glanced at him. “You talk to Rebecca?”

“Shit, no.” Dan glanced at his watch. “Damn.”

Erik tsked.

“Shut up,” Dan said, amused. “I’ll call her tomorrow.”

“Yeah, you’d better.”

“Shut up.”

“Whatever.”

Dan chuckled.

“So… You haven’t called Rebecca at all?”

“Things have been a little crazy,” Dan said.

“Hmm. Yeah. How many times did you call Justin today?”

Dan gave Erik an irritated, amused look. “Three.”

“Oh, is that all?”

“Shut up.” Dan cracked open his soda can and took a swig. “Where’d you go when you ran out of here earlier?”

Erik uncrossed his ankles, watching the screen. “Nowhere.”

“You put on your hot club clothes to go nowhere?”

“Yeah.”

Dan took another swig, watching him, wondering.

Erik tapped the remote against his thigh, not looking at Dan.

The phone rang. Erik picked it up, glanced at it, and handed it to Dan. “It’s your boy.”

Dan took the phone. “Townhouse, Dan speaking.”

“Hey, it’s Justin. I just wanted to let you know everything’s okay. I might stop by or something tomorrow, I don’t know.”

“Everything’s cool?” Dan asked. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah,” Justin said. “I’ve been spending time with the guys. Just hanging out, talking things over.”

“You need anything?” Dan asked.

“No,” Justin said. “I’m going to spend the night here again, with the guys.”

“That’s good,” Dan said. “They’re taking care of you?”

“Lance isn’t really maternal, but yeah, they’re looking out for me.”

Dan smiled. “Glad to hear it.”

“You okay?” Justin asked.

“Yeah,” Dan said. “I’m good. Today’s been pretty quiet.”

“How’s Jacob?”

Dan heard the anxiety underlying Justin’s question. “Jacob’s fine. He’s been here all day and he hasn’t complained about a thing.”

“Which should be your first clue that something’s desperately wrong,” Erik said.

“How’s, uh, Trevor?”

“He’s all right,” Dan said. “A little depressed.” Dan didn’t want to give out information on exactly how upset Trevor was, but it wouldn’t hurt to let word get back to Chris that he’d done some damage to someone who hadn’t deserved it.

“While you’re getting a break from me, you should see Rebecca,” Justin said.

“I should,” Dan said. “You’ll let me know if you need anything?”

“You want me to call you every time I wipe my ass?” Justin asked.

“Sure,” Dan said. “Just don’t expect me to answer.”

Justin laughed.

Dan smiled. He liked hearing that sound.

“Try to get laid,” Justin said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay,” Dan said. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

Dan hung up.

“Do you realize that you asked him if he was okay about eighty-nine times?” Erik asked. “You need to get a life.”

“Maybe I do,” Dan said, getting up.

“Where are you going?” Erik asked.

“To call Rebecca.”

Erik applauded. “Go, Dan, go! You get yours, baby, you get yours!”

Moaning, crying out in desperation, wracked with ecstasy too great for his body to withstand, Ashley shuddered convulsively around Nick’s gentle fingers.

Lance’s phone rang. Justin reached for it, intending to answer it so Lance wouldn’t have to wake up. “Jesus,” he said, and handed it to Chris. “Answer it.”

It was Brian. “I can’t,” Chris said. “I’m not allowed.”

“Answer it,” Justin said.

“You answer it,” Chris insisted, pushing the phone on him.

“You’re in love with him!” Justin said, refusing.

“I can’t answer it!” Chris protested. “He won’t like it!”

“I can’t answer it!” Justin said.

“Why not?!”

“I’m afraid of him!”

The phone stopped ringing.

“You’re afraid of Brian?” Chris asked.

“Hell, yes,” Justin said.

Chris hugged him.

“What?” Justin asked, bewildered.

“Somebody finally understands,” Chris said.

“Please,” Ashley whispered, sobbing. “Please, please, please.”

Nick slowly dragged his fingernails up Ashley’s thigh as he shifted to exploit a new angle.

With boxer-briefs on under his robe, running his hands through his disheveled hair, Lance found Chris and Justin in the living room. “Bad news,” he said.

“What?” Chris asked.

“What?” Justin asked, tense.

“We’re having a meeting. With the Boys.” Lance dropped his hands. “Tomorrow morning, here.”

“No,” Justin said.

“Here?” Chris asked.

“No,” Justin said.

“Tomorrow morning?” Chris asked.

“No,” Justin said.

“With them?”

“No,” Justin said.

“A meeting?”

“No,” Justin said.

“Yes,” Lance said.

“No,” Chris said.

“I have to go see Kevin now,” Justin said, rising from the sofa.

“This is so not good,” Chris said as Justin left the room.

“Get back here,” Lance said, walking after Justin.

“So not good,” Chris repeated.

“Justin!”

Trevor sat beside Erik on the sofa.

“I thought you went to bed,” Erik said.

“I can’t sleep,” Trevor said.

“Sorry.”

“I hate this show.”

“You don’t have to watch it,” Erik pointed out.

“Did Ashley call?”

“Nope.” A commercial break came and went. “I got stood up.”

“What?” Trevor asked, disoriented. “When?”

“Today. Not really stood up, it wasn’t a date, it wasn’t even a girl. Howie called, and we talked, and he told me to come over and hang out with him and JC. And when I got there, nobody was there. So I went over to JC’s house, and nobody was there. They didn’t answer their phones or anything.”

“Weird,” Trevor said.

“Yeah.”

“Something probably just came up,” Trevor said.

“Yeah.”

“They’re mad at me,” Justin said, walking around Lance’s room in restless agitation. “He’s mad at me.”

“He’s not going to do anything to you in front of us,” Lance said, rubbing his eyes, trying to wake up.

“They’re not going to do anything to you, period,” Joey said, relaxed in the doorway with his arms crossed, casually but deliberately blocking the exit. “What can they do, yell at you? Big deal, fuck them.”

“Kevin shouldn’t have to raise his voice,” Justin whispered to himself.

“What?” Joey asked.

“Nothing,” Justin said, walking in the other direction.

“No one’s mad at you,” JC said. “Everybody understands.”

“Are you okay?” Lance asked Chris.

Chris got up from the bed, moving away from Lance. “I don’t know.”

“What’s wrong?” Joey asked.

“I don’t like the sound of your voice,” he told Lance. “I don’t like the way you breathe.”

“The way I breathe?” Lance asked.

“Just shut up for a minute,” Chris said, walking around Justin.

Frowning, Lance shut up.

“It’s going to be okay,” JC said. “They’ll come here, they’ll say whatever they want to say about what happened. We’ll pretend to listen, and they’ll go home. We’ll just play along.”

“Whether they want to admit it or not, it’s their fault,” Joey said. “It all goes right back to Kevin.”

“You can’t blame him,” Justin said.

“The hell I can’t,” Joey said.

“I love him,” Chris whispered, rubbing his ears. “He loves me.”

“I don’t think that we should all to go the meeting,” Joey said.

Lance nodded at JC.

“Maybe not,” JC agreed. “Whatever they say, if it’s important, we can tell each other afterward. And if it’s not important, there’s no reason for us all to sit through it.”

“Lance has to be here for it,” Joey said. “It’s his house. JC and I can stay. But you two can take the morning off.”

“You already missed a meeting, and it wasn’t a big deal,” JC said to Justin.

“He’s going to be here,” Justin said. “I have to be here. I haven’t seen him, he hasn’t spoken to me, I haven’t been able to look at him or hear him say my name. They called a meeting. He wants me to be there.”

“Who cares what he wants?” Joey asked.

“This is the only time I’m allowed to be where he is,” Justin said. “I can’t miss it.”

“What about you?” Joey asked, nudging Chris as he passed by.

“I can’t leave this house until Brian does,” Chris said.

“Okay,” JC said, relenting. “I wouldn’t be able to skip the meeting, either.” He reached for Justin. “Sit down before you run into something.” Lance gestured to him as he coaxed Justin to sit with him on the bed. “You have to relax and get some sleep,” JC added.

“You have to be kidding,” Justin said. Joey laughed.

“Beauty sleep,” JC said. “You want to look good for Kevin. Dark circles under your eyes won’t remind him of how sexy you are.”

“Kevin doesn’t think I’m sexy,” Justin said.

“Let’s lay down and get comfortable anyway,” JC said.

“Kevin does think that you’re sexy,” Joey said. “You said that he told you that you were so beautiful it was impossible not to stare.”

“That’s what we should talk about,” JC said. “We talked about our favorite parts of them, but what about their favorite parts of us? They told us that they loved us, they told us that they wanted us, I’ve never had so much sex in my life-”

“And that’s saying a lot,” Joey said.

“That’s, you, that’s not even funny,” JC said, pointing a finger at Joey. “Now you’re going first. Which of your body parts couldn’t AJ get enough of?”

Joey climbed into the middle of the bed. Lance put Justin between himself and Joey, and JC put Chris between himself and Joey. “As long as you’re asking…”

“We’re dying to know,” Chris assured him.

“My dick, for obvious reasons,” Joey said. “My fabulous thighs and my even more fabulous ass. AJ likes my size, and my strength.”

“Joey is oh so manly,” Chris said.

“Oh so,” Justin agreed, making an effort to participate.

“And my mouth,” Joey said.

“Gross. Your turn,” Chris said to JC. “Start listing things that Nick likes about you, and we’ll cut you off after the first five hundred.”

“My ass,” JC said. “My mouth. My nipples.” Chris reached for one; he slapped Chris’s hand away. “My dick. My balls. My hands. My face.”

“Silly question, but, anything he doesn’t like?” Chris asked.

“He thinks I’m too skinny,” JC said.

“You are,” Joey said.

“Your face?” Chris asked. “The whole thing?”

“Even your nose?” Joey asked.

“Are you sure that he didn’t mean just your cheekbones, maybe?” Chris asked.

“Lance, your turn,” JC said.

“Okay?” Lance asked Chris.

“Yeah,” Chris said. “Go ahead.”

“Howie likes my dick,” Lance said. “My hands, my fingers. My tongue. My Adam’s apple. My voice. My eyes.” He smoothed the sheet. “Everyone says all of the same things to me. Your voice is so deep, that’s so hot, your eyes are so green… But somehow, when Howie said it, it sounded different.”

“Damn,” Joey said.

“Your turn,” Lance said to Chris.

Chris cleared his throat. “Dick, ass, ears, eyebrows, arm hair. Justin?”

“What?” Joey asked.

“Say that again,” Lance said.

Chris cleared his throat. “Dick, ass, ears, eyebrows, arm hair. Justin?”

Joey tugged on Chris’s ear. “Arm hair?”

“Forearm hair.” Chris displayed one forearm. “See?”

“Why would that be interesting to anyone?” Joey asked.

“He liked to pet it,” Chris said. “Jackass.”

JC rubbed his palm over Chris’s forearm.

“Is it the thrill you always knew it would be?” Chris asked.

JC smiled. “It’s even better.”

“Good,” Chris said. “Justin?”

Justin looked around the bed. “Do I have to do this?”

“Yes,” Joey said.

“Five things,” JC said. “Start with something basic.”

Justin looked at the ceiling.

“You’re probably the best-looking person in this room,” Chris said. “With the best body.” He coughed. “Ahem, besides JC, ahem.”

JC poked Chris. “Justin’s much-”

“Hey, no, don’t let the young pretty things get all of the credit,” Chris said. “We old folks have to stick together.”

“I’m twenty-six,” JC said.

Chris glared at JC, offended. “Traitor.”

“Sometimes…” Justin hesitated. “Sometimes, Kevin said that he liked the way I moved.”

“Of course he did,” Joey said.

“My hair. Sometimes he liked my hair.” Justin put his hand to the top of his head. “I shouldn’t have cut it, I don’t know why-”

“Don’t go there,” JC said. “Don’t start that.”

Lance lowered Justin’s hand. “You’re doing great. Three more.”

Justin took a deep breath, thinking about it. “My neck. Sometimes he liked my neck. And my eyes. The color of my eyes. So many shades of blue he never wanted to look at the sky again.”

“Kevin said that?” Joey asked.

“My mouth,” Justin said. “My smile, my teeth. My lips are soft, my mouth is pretty, and when I smile, I show off an even row of white teeth, and I look so happy, and when I laugh…” Justin put his hands over his eyes. “Is that five? Can I stop now?”

“That’s five,” JC said gently. “You can stop, honey.”

“Why does it hurt to remember the nice things he said to you?” Joey asked.

“Because he also said that I’m a disgusting, ugly bitch and my mouth is crooked, my hair is ridiculous, and if it weren’t for my enormous nose I’d look like a girl which is only right because I’m just a cunt who-” Justin stopped with a ragged breath.

“What the hell is wrong with him?” Joey demanded. “Can we go ahead and call Kevin a sociopath?”

“Or maybe a brainwashing child molester?” Lance asked.

“I was nineteen,” Justin said.

“Barely,” Lance said. “How old was he?”

“The sound of your sexy deep voice is going to make my head explode, and also, the two of you are not helping,” Chris said to Lance and Joey. “You two switch,” he said, pushing at Joey. Joey crawled over Justin, pushing him towards Chris. “Ignore them,” Chris told Justin. “Their great wisdom didn’t save them from Howie and AJ, so maybe they should keep their mouths shut. You just close your eyes and remember how Kevin told you how well you moved.”

“I moved like sex,” Justin said. “I moved like dirty sex on silk sheets. He wanted to walk onto that stage and…” Justin’s cheeks flamed.

“Okay, maybe a memory without an X rating,” Chris said. “Think about the eyes so blue he never wants to look at the sky again, that memory.”

Justin closed his eyes.

“Good,” Chris said. He looked at JC. “You want to spoon?”

Onscreen, Justin laughed. Lying in bed, young and naked and happy, he pulled the sheets up over his body. “Turn that off.”

“No, no,” Kevin murmured, saying the words along with his recorded voice, as he reached onscreen from behind the camera to tug the sheets back down. “I want to see you.”

“You can see me when you turn that off,” Justin said.

Kevin stepped onto the bed, walking forward as Justin backed up against the headboard. The shot zoomed in on Justin’s face as Kevin lowered himself to kneel over Justin’s legs. “Smile for me.”

Laughing, Justin showed all of his teeth, happiness in his eyes. “We’re burning this tape.”

“Tell me how beautiful you are,” Kevin whispered with his onscreen self.

Still happy, Justin looked at him like he was crazy. “How beautiful I am? My hair’s all over my head,” he ran his fingers through a tangle of curls, “I probably have cum on my chin or something…” Blushing red, he shook his head, then self-consciously touched his mouth. “Can you turn that off?”

“Cum on your chin?” Kevin asked. “Why would there be cum on your chin?”

Embarrassed, nervous, Justin scratched his curls. “I’d like to plead the fifth, if that’s okay with you.”

“Whose cum was it?” Kevin asked.

“Yours,” Justin said.

“How’d it taste?”

Justin grinned. “You really want me to answer that?”

Kevin laughed. “Do you like giving head?”

Justin smiled self-consciously, lowering his face for a moment before looking at the camera again. “I like giving you head.”

“You don’t like dick?” Kevin asked.

Justin’s brief smile displayed teeth. “I like your dick.”

Kevin laughed again. “Lick your lips for me.”

Justin’s tongue flicked out and disappeared again, almost too quickly to be seen.

“Slower,” Kevin said. “Show me that pretty tongue.”

Pushing his hair back with both hands, Justin tilted his face up to the camera, deliberately pouting. Slowly, sensuously, Justin licked his lips, lingering and wet.

“God, that’s perfect,” Kevin murmured. “Suck your fingers for me.”

Justin licked his tongue at the camera.

“How about my fingers?”

Justin smiled.

Kevin paused the image onscreen, capturing Justin there. So beautiful. So happy. So his.

Chest to chest, groin to groin, Ashley lightly ran his hand across Nick’s back, waking. His cheek pressed to Nick’s, Ashley looked over Nick’s shoulder to check the clock to see how late he-

Six twenty-nine! Six twenty-nine! Ashley’s heart jerked in his chest. He was screwed, he was so screwed, he was so totally- Ashley scrambled from the bed, snatching up clothes.

He had to take a piss, he needed a shower, his muscles ached, he was screwed as hell.

Nick rolled over, studying him through sleep-narrowed eyes. “You’re leaving?”

“Why can’t I ever say no to you?” Ashley demanded, a sock in one hand and his shirt in the other.

“Hell if I know,” Nick said, rolling over and going back to sleep.

Brian never tired of watching Jacob sleep. “I love you,” he whispered. The curves of Jacob’s mouth were relaxed. “No one gets to hurt you.” No one.

“I feel like shit,” Joey said, stumbling into the bathroom.

“I look like shit,” Chris said, spitting toothpaste into the sink. “Oh, wait, that’s your reflection.”

“Don’t go into the closet,” Justin said from the doorway. “JC’s in there trying to find something to wear so he can look good for Nick.”

“God, AJ.” Joey groaned. “What the hell am I going to wear?”

“This is going to be fun,” Chris said. “No, that’s a lie.” Finished in the bathroom, he shuffled over to the closet to… To…

Chris backed up carefully. Something was weird.

“JC. It’s a meeting at my house, not an exotic strip show,” Lance said from the closet. “Tone it down.”

Lance’s voice. Closet. Lance.

He’d been in the closet…

No, that hadn’t happened. They’d been making out and then Brian had taken a shower and…

“You okay?” Joey asked behind him.

“I love Brian,” Chris said. “Brian loves me,” he added firmly, and marched into the closet.

Howie sorted through AJ’s sunglasses. “You should have hit him back.”

“I couldn’t. Kevin doesn’t want me to bruise his face.”

“You didn’t have to hit him hard enough to bruise him.”

AJ snorted, choosing a pair of earrings. “How are you going to explain to Erik-Mike that you stood him up?”

“I don’t know,” Howie said. “JC and I will have to decide that together.”

“Once he’s not pissed at you,” AJ said.

Howie tried on a pair of sunglasses.

AJ handed him a different pair. “Nick wants to know what you’re going to do.”

“To Erik?” Howie asked, slipping them on.

“To JC,” AJ said.

Howie smiled at his reflection. “So does Lance.”

The five of them were in Lance’s closet, sometimes literally climbing over each other, trying on clothes.

“JC, you don’t have to show off your navel and your nipples.”

“If you’re going to wear my pants, could you at least wear underwear?”

“You don’t have to wear green.”

“Can I keep this?”

“Isn’t this mine?”

“Please keep your ass and your dick out of my face.”

“I don’t want to say that those pants are too tight, but I can count the hairs on your ass from here.”

“Shouldn’t we serve drinks or something?”

“This isn’t a tea party.”

“It’s breakfast time, though. We could feed them.”

“I don’t want to feed them.”

“I love watching Nick eat.”

“Have you ever seen AJ eat?”

“I don’t want to watch them eat! I don’t…” Lance looked at them and sighed. “I’ll call the bakery.”

Trevor rolled over.

He rolled onto his other side.

He flopped onto his back.

He glared at the ceiling.

Chris had been a constant presence. By his side. In his bed. He was used to waking up with Chris’s hands on him and a slight sheen of sweat wherever Chris was pressed against him. Chris’s nose tucked against his neck. Chris’s chin on his shoulder. Chris’s fingers walking across his body.

Now he was alone.

Chris and Justin were in the kitchen, arranging the food. Joey was in the closet, forcing JC to change clothes. Lance was in the front room, cleaning up from last night.

The doorbell rang.

“Fuck,” Joey said.

“No,” Justin said fiercely.

“Shit,” Lance said.

“Showtime,” Chris said, feeling faint.

“How do I look?” JC asked.

Lance was checking the peephole when Chris peeked around the corner. “Who is it?”

“Howie and AJ,” Lance said.

“Howie and AJ,” Chris whispered to Justin before scurrying back to Lance’s room. “Howie and AJ,” he reported.

“Shit,” Joey said. “Take care of him,” he told Chris, before hurrying from the closet.

Chris looked at JC. “Going undercover as a hustler later this afternoon?”

Lance opened the door. “Hi,” he said. “Come in.”

“Hi,” AJ said, walking in with Howie.

“Lance,” Howie said.

“Howie,” Lance said. It hurt more than it was supposed to.

“Hey,” Joey said, coming up as Lance closed the door.

AJ handed Howie his sunglasses. “Hey,” he said, and gave Joey a quick, lewd kiss. “Is Justin here?”

“He’s in the kitchen,” Joey said, trying not to be bothered.

“Justin!” AJ yelled.

“You could go to where he is,” Lance said sharply.

“What do you want?” Justin asked, coming from the kitchen, wiping his hands on his pants.

“How are you doing?” AJ asked. “You sleep okay?”

“Is Kevin coming?” Justin asked. “Is he mad at me?”

“He’ll be here,” AJ said. “Why don’t you sit down somewhere?”

Chris walked in while everyone was taking a seat around the front room. “Would anyone like some fine pastry?” he asked, rubbing his hands together. “Perhaps some refreshing and nutritious orange juice?”

“Sure,” Howie said with a warm smile. “I’d love some.”

“It’s in the kitchen,” Lance said, rising. “Sit down,” he whispered to Chris in passing. Chris sat while Howie followed Lance into the kitchen.

Pouring juice into glasses, Lance told himself to keep his mouth shut. He was being stupid and juvenile. His former lover was fucking his best friend, yes, but he was old enough to know how to handle that without losing it.

Examining the pastries arranged on the platter, Howie rested a hip against the counter and looked at Lance. “You look good.”

Lance slammed a glass down, spilling juice. He couldn’t even look at Howie. “Who the hell do you think you are?” he asked, his voice quiet with tension.

A hand entered Lance’s field of view. One finger extended, trailing through the puddle of orange juice. Lance couldn’t breathe; his gaze followed helplessly as the finger raised to Howie’s mouth. Swallowing, he watched Howie suck the finger clean, knowing the feel of those lips, the suction from that mouth… When Howie’s finger dropped, Lance stared into Howie’s eyes. “Delicious,” Howie murmured. The lust in Howie’s eyes was incredible. Lance’s dick throbbed, his mouth watering, his hands curling into fists so he wouldn’t jerk Howie against his heated body.

The doorbell rang.

Howie smiled, desire hot in his gaze. “You have guests.”

Howie wanted him. Howie was playing with him. Howie was playing with both of them, all of them. “You’re right,” Lance said. “I’d better get that.” He threw a glass of juice directly into Howie’s face and left the kitchen, furious and triumphant and scared. “Go help Howie,” he said to Chris, and went to open the front door.

Kevin. “Have a seat,” Lance said, turning away.

Chris walked into the kitchen to find Howie laughing and dripping. “That’s not water, is it?”

“It’s all right,” Howie said, wiping his face with a napkin. “I’ll just clean up in the bathroom.”

Brian wasn’t going to like this. Neither was Kevin. Chris followed Howie to the bathroom, tapping his fingers against the doorjamb while Howie stripped out of his shirt. His shirt was soaked, so he couldn’t put it back on, but Chris couldn’t let him wander around half-naked, either, considering the circumstances. “I’ll get you another shirt.”

“Okay,” Howie said, perfectly agreeable.

“Okay.” Chris wondered if Brian liked Howie’s body. It looked very nice. He returned to Lance’s closet, wondering how Lance was going to react to Howie wearing his clothes.

“What are you doing?” JC asked.

“Howie had an accident with the orange juice. He needs another shirt,” Chris said. “This one?”

“An accident?” JC repeated.

“I think Lance threw it at him. But there’s plenty left.” Chris found a very nice rich blue T-shirt. “This?”

“I’ll take it,” JC said. “Where is he?”

“You’re naked,” Chris said.

“It’s nothing he hasn’t seen,” JC said, zipping up and taking the shirt from Chris’s hand, leaving Lance’s room. He found Howie drying his face in the hallway bathroom. “What happened?” he asked, not bothering to sound pleasant.

“Small spill,” Howie said, humor glinting in his eyes. He looked at JC’s bare chest, then glanced down at his own. “Is that shirt for you or for me?”

JC took it from the hanger and threw it at him. “I’m tired of your games, and it looks like Lance is, too. Maybe you could take this as a hint and get the fuck over yourself.”

Howie abruptly grabbed his wrist, jerking him forward, glaring heatedly into his eyes. “I didn’t come here to fight with you, JC. I wanted to keep things civil in front of everyone else. If you can’t-”

“Let go of me,” JC said angrily, trying to twist free. “Let go-”

Howie kissed him with violent passion, both hands pulling on the waistband of JC’s pants. Unbalanced by the sudden intensity, JC reached out, his hands closing on soft towels. They slipped free from the rack as Howie pushed JC back against the sink. Moaning as Howie ground against him, JC sucked urgently on Howie’s tongue, caught up in Howie’s passion. He held on to Howie’s waist for balance as Howie lifted his leg, hand gripping the back of his thigh, Howie’s other hand pushing his shoulder to lean him back. Groaning, rocking against Howie’s arousal, JC dropped his head back against the mirror as Howie sucked on his neck, one hand sliding through Howie’s hair and pulling on the soft strands, Howie’s-

“Whoa. Whoa!” The door closed suddenly; JC’s eyes snapped open to see Joey staring at him. “Lance is right down the fucking hall!” Joey whispered furiously.

“Shit.” JC pushed Howie back, sliding off of the sink.

“Kevin’s here, Justin is coming apart, Chris offered me fine pastry three times already-”

“Shit! I’ll be right there,” JC said.

“Get it together,” Joey said. The doorbell rang. “If that’s Brian, Chris might need some support,” he said, and left the bathroom.

“Shit,” JC said, taking a step.

“JC,” Howie said. JC turned; Howie looked flushed and tousled and gorgeous, his hair mussed from JC’s touch, his lips red from JC’s kiss. “We have to work this out. I can’t even answer Erik-Michael’s phone calls until we talk. Come home with me after this.”

Howie wasn’t wearing any jewelry. None. Why?

“You don’t have to do it for my sake,” Howie said. “But we have to be able to work together. We both committed to this partnership. We can’t keep Erik waiting.”

Howie was right, and JC resented him for it. How had JC given in to him that immediately? Where had all of that passion come from? “We’ll talk after the meeting,” JC agreed. “Unless the guys need me.” He left the room.

Chris watched around the corner as Lance opened the door. Watched Brian step into the house. Lance closed the door, and Brian kissed him, stroking his back and rubbing insinuatingly against his body. Lance backed away from the kiss, murmuring something, and Brian acquiesced. They went into the front room.

“You know better than to watch that,” Kevin said behind him.

“Would you care for some fine pastry?” Chris asked without moving, still watching the front door. “Perhaps some refreshing and nutritious orange juice?”

“You already offered me some,” Kevin said, hands on his shoulders turning him around. Kevin wiped his tears away. “Don’t let them make you cry.”

“It hurts,” Chris said.

“A lot of things hurt,” Kevin said.

“Not like Brian.”

“I know,” Kevin said. He wiped away one last tear and smiled gently. “Do you need a hug?”

“No, thank you.” Justin was about two feet away, hugging himself and whispering things Chris couldn’t quite hear. Kevin hadn’t acknowledged Justin’s presence, but Chris wasn’t going to hug Kevin right in front of him. “Would you care for some-”

“Yes, I would,” Kevin said, smiling. “What do you recommend?”

Chris led the way to the kitchen, Kevin following him, Justin trailing Kevin. He put a small assortment of pastries on a plate and poured a fresh glass of juice.

“Thank you,” Kevin said, and lifted his chin in one hand. “Are you okay?”

Very green. Not blue at all. “I don’t know.”

“Do you want to talk about Trevor?”

Trevor. “I hurt him.” Chris hadn’t deliberately hurt anyone in a long time. Brian had taken that ability away from him.

Kevin kissed him. Slowly. There was the soft caress of Kevin’s tongue, and then there was a crash and a thud and Chris jerked around just in time for Justin’s scream. Howie had Justin pinned against the wall, broken glass on the floor.

“Justin!” AJ was the first one in, Lance and Joey right behind him, Brian and JC running in after them. “What happened?” AJ demanded.

“He threw the glass,” Howie said. The shirt Chris had selected was a shade too fitted, nicely displaying the bunching of his muscles as he held Justin back. “He was going after Chris.”

Justin screamed again, punching Howie viciously in the gut and lunging across the room towards Chris and Kevin. At the last second AJ caught him, and they fell to the floor. AJ cursed, and for a few minutes there was a lot more cursing, and violence, and confusion. Chris was frozen, felt trapped, and finally he realized that his back was against the wall of Kevin’s chest, Kevin’s strong arms wrapped around his waist. Things only calmed down when Justin backed into a corner, sinking down into a tight crouch and lowering his head to his knees, whispering to himself. Joey knelt down with him, rubbing his shoulders and talking to him. “He’s cut,” JC reported from his other side, examining Justin’s hands with concern.

“So am I,” AJ snapped.

“How deep is it?” Brian asked, checking AJ’s arm.

“Not bad,” AJ said. “Just some scrapes.”

“Clean this up,” Kevin said. Justin flinched and, still without looking up, began to rise; JC pushed him back down.

“Me?” Joey asked, since Kevin was looking directly at him.

“Show Brian what he can use to patch up AJ,” Kevin said, turning his gaze on Lance.

“What about Justin?” Lance demanded.

“That’s up to you,” Kevin said.

“While we’re all doing your bidding, what are you going to be doing?” Lance asked.

“Calling Nick,” Kevin said. “We have a meeting, and he’s late.” He started to walk out of the room, towing Chris, who followed, not knowing what else to do. “Get dressed,” he said to JC on the way past.

Erik wakened on the sofa, the TV still on. Groaning, he turned it off, then visited the bathroom before wandering to the kitchen.

“Morning,” Ashley said from the table.

“Morning,” he mumbled, pouring cereal by rote. Taking a seat, he was a few spoonfuls in before he remembered. “Where were you last night?”

“I got in late,” Ashley said.

“Yeah, no kidding, I was up until five thirty and I didn’t see or hear from you,” Erik said.

Ashley never had been great at hiding his emotions, and for a second he looked like he’d been caught red-handed before he tried to cover it up. “Really? What were you doing?”

“The question is, what were you doing?” Erik asked. He grinned. “And who were you doing it with?”

In a feeble attempt to play it cool, Ashley said, “I was just hanging out.”

“Yeah?” Jacob walked into the kitchen, straddling a chair backward and facing Ashley. “With Joey?”

“No,” Ashley said. “I’m sorry, I fell asleep and I didn’t realize how late it was getting.”

“We don’t actually have a curfew,” Erik said. “We can’t ground him.” Teasing Ashley and making him sweat was fun, but it was pointless to get pissed off at each other over not coming home at night.

“We all agreed to spend a few nights here,” Jacob said. “You can’t even manage to find your way home at night?”

“He fell asleep,” Erik said. “It happens.”

“It wouldn’t, if you were dedicated,” Jacob snapped.

“Calm down,” Erik said, irritated. “Let it go. He’ll be home tonight.” Jacob overreacted to everything.

&nb