"Sucker"

Sucker

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Continued from part twenty-nine...

Chris shushed Joey and closed Trevor’s closet, shooing Justin onto the bed. Justin barely had time to crawl past Joey and over JC’s sleeping body to sprawl convincingly before Dan and Trevor walked in. “Hi,” Chris said.

“How’s your meeting going?” Justin asked.

“You didn’t hit him again, did you?” Chris asked. “That’s never beneficial.”

“JC Chasez is asleep in my bed,” Trevor said.

“The meeting’s been good,” Dan said. “Would you be willing to come downstairs and talk to us about how you’ve managed to stay together?”

“Lance pays us to be his friends,” Chris said. “Did you want to take a picture of this event?” he asked Trevor, who was still staring at JC. “We can take off his clothes and arrange him in a lewd pose if you want. It’s not Tuesday, but we can do it early this week.”

“No, I’m, god, I’m sorry,” Trevor said. Having Chris and Justin and JC and Joey all in his bedroom at the same time was flustering him.

“It’s okay,” Joey said. “JC.” He pulled JC’s hair. “Wake up.”

“How have we managed to stay together?” Chris asked Justin.

“I think it has something to do with how much we like each other,” Justin said.

“Oh,” Chris said. “Did I forget to tell you that I never liked Joey?”

“Damn,” Justin said. “That fucks up everything.”

“Sorry,” Chris said.

JC wakened, pushing away Joey’s hand and sitting up. “Oh,” he said, seeing Trevor and Dan. “Sorry. Hey.” He finger-combed his hair back into its careless waves. “What did I miss?”

“They want us to come down and lecture the schoolchildren on why we’re still together,” Chris said.

“Because we love each other,” JC said.

Justin smiled.

When Jacob brought Brian and Howie back, they’d barely exchanged two words with Ashley and Erik before everyone else walked into the room. JC sat with Howie and Brian on the sofa, while everyone else scattered over the armchair, the coffee table, and the floor.

Ashley, Dan, Erik, Jacob, and Trevor asked questions about rehearsing, touring, performing, dealing with management, dealing with fans, and dealing with the press. They asked about how to handle disagreements. They asked about how to juggle the demands of friends, family, girlfriends, and work. They asked about how to ensure that they’d still be together five, ten years down the road.

Chris, JC, Joey, and Justin emphasized the work. The hours they’d put in. The blood, the sweat, the tears. The sacrifices. Being too sick to go on but still going on anyway. Doing the choreography over and over and over again, and still pushing for just one more hour.

Brian and Howie said that they had to realize that their lives weren’t their own anymore. They were part of a group. They weren’t separate entities, they weren’t individual people, they were part of a whole, like an arm or a leg was a part of a larger body. They had to honor that above all else, and do whatever was best for the whole, not what was convenient for one fifth.

Chris, JC, Joey, and Justin explained that celebrity wasn’t a normal life. They couldn’t expect to have the same lifestyles they’d had before. This new life wasn’t all about fun and games; it was a job, it took work.

Brian and Howie emphasized the brotherhood. The unity. The together forever. Protecting each other’s privacy. Holding each other to their commitments. Forgiving each other their sins. Loving each other no matter what.

No.

Matter.

What.

Eventually, conversation lagged. Chris quietly removed the laces from Trevor’s shoes.

Brian looked around the room, then smiled at Jacob. “Have you all declared a cease-fire?”

Jacob glanced at the other guys. “Yeah,” he told Brian. “We have a lot to work on, but we’re going to get it all done.” He looked at the rest of the group again. “We agreed to spend more time together, and more time at the house, to make ourselves available to each other. I think that we should start by all sleeping here tonight.”

“Alone?” Trevor asked.

“Let’s just work on all staying under one roof,” Jacob said. “For now,” he glanced at Ashley, “it doesn’t matter who’s with you, as long as you’re here and available.”

“It’s okay with me,” Trevor said.

“Fine,” Erik said. “It’ll be better than that hotel, anyway.”

“Yeah,” Ashley said, ill at ease under the watchful eyes of Nick’s best friends. “That’s okay.”

Dan hesitated. He didn’t want to leave Justin alone. He respected Justin’s privacy and right to independence, and he didn’t want to ask Justin to stay in a house with a whole set of people. But maybe for a few nights, they could work it out. And maybe Justin wouldn’t even need to sleep with him, anyway. The night he’d been with Rebecca, Justin had been fine. Relatively. “It’s a good idea,” he told Jacob. “We all live here, we should sleep here at least half of the time.”

“With that said,” Jacob said, “I’d like to talk to Brian alone.”

“I’m ordering pizza,” Trevor said.

“Bathroom,” Ashley said.

Everyone was up, moving, talking, leaving the room. Chris was tying the laces he’d removed from Trevor’s sneakers into complex knots. Brian and Jacob were gone; Ashley was gone; Erik was taking JC and Howie upstairs; Trevor was on the phone; Dan said to Chris, Joey, and Justin, “Thanks for talking to us.”

“You’re welcome,” Justin said.

“No problem,” Joey said. “I wish someone could have told us some of this stuff.”

“I wish that someone had told us earlier,” Dan said. “A few people tried to, but I don’t think that we listened to all of it. We had our own ideas.”

“Yeah,” Joey said. “If the five of them had tried to approach us to give us tips…” He laughed.

“You seem to get along well now,” Dan said.

“That depends on which two of us you’re talking about,” Justin said.

After the pizza arrived, they all went to their separate corners: Brian and Jacob in Jacob’s room, Trevor and Chris by the pool, Ashley and Joey in Ashley’s room, Dan and Justin in the living room, Erik and JC and Howie in Erik’s room. The members of O-Town gave their respective listeners a summary of the meeting.

“I apologized,” Erik said. “Just like you said, I apologized, I said that I was sorry for everything I could think of, and I asked them to forgive me.”

“He apologized for everything,” Ashley said. “He apologized for the way he’d been talking about the girls, he apologized for the way he’d told us about it, he apologized for missing the photo shoot.”

“It was intense,” Trevor said. “He was putting it all out there on the line, telling us he was sorry, telling us he’d done everything all wrong, telling us he’d never betray our friendship like that again. I was like, damn, if he’s this sorry, now I want to forgive him. Ashley looked ready to hug and make up. I started thinking, we can work this out after all. This is the Erik I know. But Jacob…”

“I knew what I had to do,” Jacob said. “But a part of me was still struggling with it. There was a voice in the back of my head, asking me if it was even worth it anymore. If after everything we’d been through, he was still willing to lie to us and betray us and create bullshit, what was the point? But I thought about the other guys, and I thought about you, and I opened my mouth and prayed that the right words would come out.”

“Everything that Erik said was humble, but it was passionate,” Ashley said. “It was apology after apology, but it was straight from the heart. I had my best friend back. I was nervous, though, that Jacob might not see it the same way. He holds himself to a really high standard, and he holds the rest of us to it, too. But he just started talking about love, and forgiveness, and trust, and how we’re all in this together, and how if things are going wrong with one of us then the rest of us have to look to ourselves for why it’s happening. We’re responsible for each other. He hugged Erik and he said, ‘I love you, man, and I forgive you, and it’s all in the past now. We’re going to build on the future, together, and nothing that happened before this matters.’”

“I thought that I was going to start bawling or something,” Trevor said. “He had Erik’s face in his hands, and he was looking right into his eyes, and his voice was so intense and so emotional, I was like, okay, this, right here, we’ve got this, ain’t nothing going to break us up now. Erik was sorry, Ashley had forgiven him, I’d forgiven him, Jacob was forgiving him, we were good to go. We all turned to Dan, and it was like, oh, hell, maybe we’re not good after all.”

“I didn’t know,” Dan said. “He was lying to us and I couldn’t figure out why. Why would he lie to us, and then apologize for what he’d done? Why wasn’t he apologizing to us for the lie? Why was he still acting like he’d done it? No one was asking him about that, and I didn’t know if they believed that he’d done it or not. Maybe I’m being naïve, maybe he really did it and I just can’t accept that.” Dan shook his head. “I don’t know. And I didn’t want to forgive him and move on, because that wouldn’t take care of the real problem.”

“Man, I was tense,” Erik said. “After Jacob forgave me, I thought I was home free. And Jacob wasn’t bullshitting, he was sincere, he was ready to be my boy for life. But Dan was looking at me like he wasn’t buying it, and I was like, shit, I’m screwed.”

“Everyone wanted to patch things up,” Dan said. “Erik did, I could see that, he wanted everything to be good again. So did the other guys. They believed that he was sorry. And he was sorry, I could tell, he hated that we were mad at him, he was sorry that things were out of control. I didn’t know why he was lying, but I still knew him. Erik-Michael’s a good guy. He’s not a mean guy, he’s not a bad guy. I love him. I want to be able to trust him. So, I forgave him.”

“After that, it was a lot of talking,” Ashley said. “How committed we are to the group, how much we want to focus on our careers.”

“We talked about pushing for more promoting, pushing for more touring, rehearsing more,” Trevor said.

“We never sing together,” Dan said. “We all live in the same house, and we don’t sing together?”

“At this point, whether it’s guys or it’s girls, it doesn’t matter,” Jacob said. “They’re so distracted by their dicks, their minds are never on the job, and their bodies are never in this house.”

“Whether sex is involved or not doesn’t even matter,” Ashley said. “Even if they’re not having sex, they’re still so busy being with Justin or Brian or whoever, they’re never home.”

“So we’re going to set aside time to rehearse, and we’re going to have regular meetings about where we are career-wise, and we’re going to try to spend time just hanging out together,” Trevor said.

“We made a lot of promises,” Erik said. “I promise to be around more, I promise to show up for every rehearsal, I promise not to let friendships or my sex life distract me from the group.”

“We’re going to hold each other responsible for what we’ve said today,” Jacob said. “I’m going to hold them to it, and I want them to hold me to it. We have to get back to basics. The music. Singing. Rehearsing. We have to push for this to work. We don’t have management up our asses and on our cases every day anymore. It’s up to us now, and if we want to do this thing, then all we can count on is ourselves, each other.”

“I might not be able to spend every second of the day with you anymore,” Trevor said.

“We might not be able to hang out as much,” Jacob said.

“As long as we’re not out promoting, as long as we’re still here at the house, I’ll still have time,” Dan said. “No matter how dedicated we get, we’re not going to rehearse for twenty-four hours every day. I’ll still be here for you. Any night you want me to come over, I’m there. We’ll work it out. I know that the group comes first, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t have anything else in my life. I can always make some time for friends.”

“You two have each other, it’s not like you’re desperate for company,” Erik said. “It just sucks that now that we started getting together again, I’m not going to have as much time. And everybody’s going to be looking over my shoulder, wondering if I’m lying about just being friends.”

“I guess I won’t take up as much of your time,” Ashley said with a rueful smile. “It’s not like I’ll never be around, but… I’ve been so excited about being with you, I forgot all about everything else. Those other commitments have to come first, I was just so…”

“Swept away?” Joey suggested, leaning off of the bed to set his empty plate on the floor.

“Swept away,” Ashley agreed, grinning. “The other guys think it’s time to come back to Earth, so I’d better figure out how to get unswept.”

“You’ll be pretty busy, then,” Joey said.

“Yeah,” Ashley said, hands rising to Joey’s shoulders as Joey pushed him onto his back. “We’ll be…rehearsing.”

“Then we should take advantage of this time together,” Joey said, and kissed him. “While we can.”

“Yeah,” Ashley said, going back to Joey’s mouth for more. “While we…mmm…can…”

Chris picked mushrooms from his pizza, giving them to Trevor. “What you’re saying is, you’re going to be busy, and if I want to see you, I’ll have to hang around here more than I already do.”

“Yeah,” Trevor said. “Is that okay?”

“I already practically live here,” Chris said. “If I ever get bored, I can leave. Or I can turn to Jacob and say ‘Brian’ and listen to him squeal over his favorite subject for five hours. That’s always entertaining.”

“Mmm,” Ashley said, writhing sinuously at Joey’s touch. “Mmm, oh, Joey. Wait, oh, should we do this?”

“We should never stop doing this,” Joey said, tugging down Ashley’s jeans.

“What about, aahh, Brian and Howie, they, oh…” Ashley groaned, rocking up into Joey’s hand.

“The door’s locked,” Joey said, and kissed him to shut him up.

“I’ll be fine,” Justin said. “I’m okay. The guys are around if I need to talk to somebody. You should put all of your energy into the group.”

“I’ve made promises,” Dan said.

“Not just to me,” Justin said. “You promised them a lot of things.”

“You and I have an understanding,” Dan said. “I’m not going to go back on my word.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Justin insisted.

“Try this,” Dan said. “Tell me if I’ve been helping you or not.”

Justin sighed, lounging back with a smile. “You’ve done more for me than I ever imagined you could.”

“There you go,” Dan said. “Then I’ll stick around. We’ll hang out, we’ll talk, we’ll call, we’ll check in. If you need anything, you call me, and I’ll see what I can do. Night or day.”

“I can sleep by myself,” Justin said. He swallowed pizza. “I can’t,” he admitted, “but I can get the guys to help.”

“Seems like some of them have busy sex lives,” Dan said. “If they’re not available, you can always call me. We won’t be scheduling any rehearsals for two a.m., so I’ll be able to come right over. Or you can come over here, but I don’t know if you’re comfortable with that.”

“How many times can I tell you that I’m okay?” Justin asked.

“You’ve been very badly hurt,” Dan said. “It’s normal that you’re not one hundred percent right now, and it’s not your fault, either.”

Justin took a slow breath, looking down at his plate. “You can’t blame him just because he’s the first person who was honest enough to tell me the truth to my face.”

Dan stared at Justin for a long minute, taking the time to register those words. Then he said, slowly, “You can’t believe that.”

Justin poked at his pizza. “Sometimes.”

“You believe that?” Dan asked. “Do you think it’s your fault that AJ abused you?” Justin didn’t answer; Dan slowly but deliberately took the plate from his hands and set it on the coffee table, sliding closer on the sofa. “Look at me. Do you think it’s your fault?”

Justin refused to make eye contact; he curled his hands in his lap. “I got what was coming to me.”

“You can’t believe that,” Dan said. “Justin, you know better. You know that’s not true. You didn’t deserve any of it. None of it was your fault. It wasn’t naturally coming to you. He created it and then he bombed you with it.”

“You don’t think it’s possible that I did deserve it?” Justin asked. “I know I couldn’t have, but sometimes, in the back of my head, I wonder. I wonder if maybe that isn’t how it should be. Maybe that’s how I should be treated. If I’d done better, if I’d acted differently - - I should have been able to give him what he wanted. I couldn’t ever be the right person or act the right way, I kept fucking up, if I’d just found a way to make him happy-”

“Hey,” Dan said, squeezing his hand to get his attention. “You would make anyone happy. You just being yourself, that would thrill the shit out of anyone lucky enough to be with you. You should never have to work that hard to please someone. If he wasn’t happy with you, then he’s the one with the problem. Not you.”

Trevor watched Chris absently lick pizza sauce from his fingers. “You’re so hot.”

Chris popped his finger out of his mouth. “Sexy?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“So freaking sexy,” Trevor said, shaking his head in wonder.

Chris grinned. “If you think this is hot, you should see me eat candy corn.”

Trevor laughed.

On his back, Ashley moaned, gripping Joey’s thighs. Kneeling astride Ashley’s chest, Joey planted his hands on the headboard and thrust rhythmically, pushing his dick down Ashley’s throat.

“I’m so proud of you,” Brian said. “I knew that you’d find yourself at the right place. This was a crossroads, and you found it within yourself to take the right path.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Jacob said, sitting with Brian on the floor of his bedroom, the remains of their meal pushed to one side. “You made the difference. I wouldn’t have gotten through this.”

“You would have,” Brian said, tucking Jacob’s hair behind his ear. “I know that you would have. I’m just happy that I was here for you, to help you.” He tucked the second side to match the first. “They’re lucky to have you.”

“I’m lucky to have them,” Jacob said. He gazed into Brian’s eyes. “I’m lucky to have you.”

Brian smiled. “I have something for you.”

“What?” Jacob asked. “What do you - - you didn’t have to do that.”

“I got it a little while ago, but I wanted to wait for the right moment,” Brian said. “I tucked it in your drawer, behind the condoms. Somewhere you wouldn’t look.”

Jacob laughed. “Are you trying to say that I need to find a girl?”

“Hey, it’s none of my business,” Brian said, teasing. “I just think that it’s a shame you’re keeping all of your hotness to yourself.”

“Look who’s talking,” Jacob said. He crawled over to his nightstand, pulling out the drawer and reaching into the back. Retrieving a small, black velvet jewelry box, he crawled back, resettling himself. “This?” he asked, meeting Brian’s eyes.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Brian said. “And I’m not taking it back.”

“What is it?” Jacob asked.

“You shouldn’t have to borrow from someone else,” Brian said. “I wanted you to have your own. And I wanted them to be real.”

Brow creasing, Jacob opened the box and stared. A pair of diamond earrings. Real diamonds. Not small diamonds. Jacob met Brian’s eyes. “I can’t.”

“I won’t take them back,” Brian said. “They’re yours. Even if you never wear them, I want you to keep them. So you won’t have to borrow anyone else’s ever again.”

“I don’t… These had to be expensive,” Jacob said, resisting. “Thank you, this is very generous, but I can’t accept-”

Brian touched the tip of his thumb to Jacob’s lower lip. “Once you have enough money to pay the bills, the rest of it is meaningless.” He lowered his hand, maintaining eye contact. “The price tag doesn’t mean anything to me. We’re friends. I wanted you to have something that you didn’t already own, and I knew that you wouldn’t get it for yourself, so I got it for you.”

Jacob looked down at the earrings, then at Brian again. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. “Thank you, these are great.”

“You’re welcome,” Brian said, smiling warmly.

“You want me to put them in,” Jacob guessed.

“Yes,” Brian agreed.

Relenting with a smile and an amused eye roll, Jacob took out the simple hoops he’d been wearing and replaced them with the new diamonds. Tying back his hair, he raised his chin, turning his head from side to side. “How do they look?”

“Perfect,” Brian said. “Terrible with this outfit, but I like that.”

“Yeah?” Jacob asked, getting to his feet and going over to the mirror. Laughing, he said, “I see what you mean. They have nothing to do with me or anything I’m wearing. It looks like I’m wearing someone else’s earrings.”

Brian came up behind him, looking over his shoulder into the mirror. “You look great.”

“Thanks,” Jacob said, turning to him. “Thanks,” he said again, softly this time, gazing at Brian with eyes full of tender emotion.

Brian hugged him. “I knew you could do it.”

Jacob hugged back. “I couldn’t have,” he said. His eyes closed. “Not without you.”

Erik opened his eyes, stepping back from JC’s embrace. “Thanks for being here today.”

“We’re just happy that everything worked out,” JC said. Since they were by the front door, with other people free to roam the house who might see them, he kissed Erik’s cheek. “You should feel good about today, honey.”

“We’ll call you,” Howie said, and kissed his other cheek. “Good-bye, Erik-Michael.”

“Bye,” Erik said. Howie kissed his cheek again and followed JC outside.

The front door closed.

“That went well,” Howie said.

“Yeah,” JC said. “It did.” He looked at the cars in the driveway, then at Howie. “I think that I want to go home.” He couldn’t make himself smile anymore, and he needed time away from Howie, time to think. “Alone.”

“Give me the remote,” Dan said.

“No,” Justin said, pushing Dan back with one hand, changing channels with the other. “Hey, what about this?”

“Now you’re picking stupid shit on purpose,” Dan said. “Give me the-”

“Oh, hey, nice,” Justin said.

“We’re not watching this,” Dan said.

“Just for a minute,” Justin said, fending him off without looking. “Get off of me, you’re blocking my view.”

“Just give me the-”

“Hey!” Justin said, offended.

“-remote,” Dan said with satisfaction, sitting back and changing the channel. “So, what do you want to watch?”

“Nice to see you two getting along,” Chris said, walking in as Justin replied to Dan with inventive and colorful language. “Mind if we join you?”

“Go ahead,” Dan said. “We’re trying to decide what to watch.”

“We tried going upstairs to make out, but it was a little loud up there,” Chris said.

“Loud?” Justin asked, puzzled.

“Joey and Ashley,” Trevor said.

Justin laughed. “God, Joey, give it a rest.”

“Would you like to sit beside Justin Timberlake?” Chris asked Trevor, since they were still standing.

“No, they look comfortable spread out there,” Trevor said. “I’ll-”

“There’s plenty of room,” Chris said. “We’re used to being all over each other’s space. All five of us can sit in one chair. It works a lot better with Joey on the bottom than JC.” Chris sat by the armrest, dragging Trevor down between himself and Justin.

“Hi,” Justin said.

“Hi,” Trevor said, flustered.

“How much time are you going to have to spend with him before you get over this?” Chris asked.

“I’m over it,” Trevor said. “I’m fine.” He dragged his gaze away from Justin. “It’s cool.” He looked at Chris. “One chair?”

“Hey,” Erik said, strolling into the room. “Can I hang out here? It’s kind of loud upstairs.”

Lance had just gotten out of the shower when JC rang his doorbell. JC sat on his bed, catching him up on yesterday’s fight and today’s meeting, while he got ready to go out.

JC’s conversation was a lot of Howie this and Howie that. Howie said, Howie told, Howie thinks. Lance told himself that JC had to bring up Howie’s name a lot, because they were working together, they were spending a lot of time together, they were consulting each other. Still, the constant Howie, Howie, Howie edged right under his skin and started ripping straight through to his heart. It was a brutal reminder of how close Lance’s best friend and former lover were.

Funny, how he managed to talk to Chris without saying Brian’s name every two seconds. Funny, how Joey extended JC the courtesy of not shoving Nick in his face. Funny, how JC didn’t even attempt to censor himself.

He wasn’t going to say anything. He was going to keep his mouth shut. He was going to smile and bear it. No fights today. Not with JC. That wouldn’t solve anything. He’d grit his teeth and be pleasant, and then he’d go out and fuck someone hard enough to dull the pain, and when he came he’d scream Howie’s name until the walls shook.

Tugging on his boots, Lance made appropriate comments to whatever JC was saying. It bothered him that everyone else had up-to-the-minute information on what was going on, and he didn’t. Everyone else was intimately, elaborately involved, and he wasn’t. He had a part in the game, he had a role and he was doing his best with it, but he felt so fucking out of the loop. It was like they were all major players and he had a minor role.

Yeah, and since when was that new?

He’d had to create his own fucking movie to get a little screen time in his own life.

And now? In the middle of a game that had spiraled into being from a comment that had been made specifically about him? While the other people involved were in up to their necks in intrigue, deceit, manipulation, and wicked scheming? He was fucking Jacob on the side for Brian. What the hell was his job, anyway? To get Jacob off?

Ashley was in love with Joey. Trevor was in love with Chris. Of course Erik was in love with JC. Dan was glued to Justin’s side. And what part did Lance have in Jacob’s life? What part did Lance have in Jacob’s destruction?

Lance walked into his bathroom to fix his hair. JC followed him, leaning in the doorway. By the time he was finished, silence had fallen. Lance glanced at JC, mentally going back over JC’s last sentence to see if he’d missed anything. He didn’t recall anything off, but JC looked lost in thought. Unpleasant thought. “You okay?” Lance asked.

JC looked at him slowly, studying him. “Did you ever give Howie a ring?”

Hot fury exploded through Lance so quickly it overcame his determination to be friendly. He barely grabbed onto his sanity in time to control his words. “I’m not talking about that,” he said, quickly pushing past JC and exiting the bathroom.

“It-”

Anger, fear, shame, and a bitterly strong protective impulse fired up inside. “I said that I don’t want to talk about it,” Lance said, dangerously close to shouting the words. “I’m leaving,” he said, forcing himself to lower his voice.

“I don’t-”

“Shut the fuck up!” he shouted. “Just get the fuck out, JC, get the fuck out of my house! You have him, all right, you have him! I backed off, I stopped calling him, I stopped trying to see him, I stopped fucking him! I let go! What the hell else do you want from me?!”

“You didn’t have to do that for me,” JC said.

“I didn’t do it for you!” Lance yelled. “I did it for me! God, JC, of course you think it was for you, everything’s about you! You really think that I’d back away from him for you?!”

“I didn’t-”

“How fucking full of yourself can you get?” Lance demanded. “That’s great, JC, that’s perfect. The two of you are perfect for each other. The two of you fucking deserve each other. I hope that you’re happy as hell together. I can’t wait until he fucking breaks your fucking heart.”

Lance didn’t just leave the bedroom, he left the house, and he didn’t look back.

Brian.

Brian was in the house.

Chris removed the necklace around Trevor’s neck and toyed with it, wrapping it around his fingers.

He wondered what Brian and Jacob were doing.

Maybe he could go see.

“I’ll get it,” Dan said.

“I know where the kitchen is,” Justin said, pushing him back down and getting up. “Anybody else want something?”

Brian. Chris wanted Brian. He wanted - - Justin was plucking at his shirtsleeve. Not knowing what Justin wanted, only vaguely caring, he got up and followed Justin to the kitchen.

Justin pulled him into the far corner. “You okay?” Justin whispered.

“No,” Chris said, his gaze downcast as he wound the necklace around his thumb.

“Maybe you and Trevor should go…” Justin’s voice trailed off. “You can’t leave,” he said.

No. Not while Brian was there.

“Shit.”

Chris wondered what Brian and Jacob were talking about. Was Brian talking? Or was Jacob talking, and Brian was listening? Or were they talking back and forth, an even exchange, sentences overlapping?

“Maybe you should go upstairs and have sex,” Justin said. “Joey and Ashley have to be finished by now. Or, we can go out back and play basketball. Us against them, it’s two on three but we’ll kick their asses.”

Brian liked basketball.

“Let’s go,” Justin said. “A little two on three.” He put his hand over Chris’s, stilling the action. “You’ll feel better if you’re doing something,” he said quietly. “You know it’s easier if you’re active.”

Yeah. “Yeah,” Chris said. It was worth a shot. “Okay.”

Ashley had fallen asleep. Joey found his cell phone and relaxed against the pillows, lazily checking his messages. Brother, ex-girlfriend, business, ex-girlfriend, Nick.

“Hey, sweetness. If you’re fucking around on me today, you’d better enjoy it. Tomorrow, you’re mine. Meet me at my house in the morning.” Soft chuckle. “Come on his face for me. Bye.”

Joey grinned. Nick was an arrogant bastard, but at least he was honest about it. Joey put aside his phone, rolling onto his side and kissing Ashley’s cheek. Such a pretty, pretty face.

“Mmm.” Ashley opened pretty, sleep-confused eyes. “Hey,” he said, and smiled, giving Joey a warm kiss.

“Hey,” Joey said, kissing Ashley back, slowly jacking himself. He smiled. “I have a message for you.”

Jacob walked into the kitchen, where Brian was depositing their used plates and picking up another slice of pizza. “You find him?” Brian asked.

“I looked outside, and everybody’s out back playing basketball,” Jacob said.

“Yeah?” Brian asked, licking his thumb. “You want to play?”

“Yeah,” Jacob said. “The teams are uneven. Looks like Dan and Trevor and Erik against Chris and Justin.”

“Really,” Brian said, and smiled.

Chris froze so suddenly, Erik slammed right into him. “Whoa, hey,” Trevor said, catching Erik before he hit the ground. “What?” he asked Chris, and looked. “Oh, hi.”

“Hey,” Jacob said, knotting a bandanna over his hair as he and Brian walked onto the court. “Need another couple of players?”

Justin stopped beside Chris, putting a hand on Chris’s shoulder for balance as he pretended to fix a sock. “What do you need?” he whispered. “Stay or go?”

“Stay,” Chris whispered, staring at Brian. He couldn’t leave. He was going to be trapped in the hell of physically interacting with Brian in front of everyone.

“Our team or their team?” Justin whispered.

“Ours,” Chris whispered. Passing to Brian would be marginally more bearable than the possibility of guarding Brian.

“What do you think?” Dan asked. “Jacob with us, Brian with you losers?”

“You mean Jacob with the wannabes, Brian with the superstars?” Justin asked, taking the ball from Dan’s hands. “Sounds good to me. Let’s go.”

As everyone moved into position, Chris forced himself to rip his gaze from Brian before his staring became too obvious and someone said something. That was when he noticed the sparkle from Jacob’s earlobes.

Jacob was wearing the earrings he’d given Brian.

It had been inevitable. When he’d handed them over, Brian had told him what they were for. And now there they were.

A gift. Brian was giving Jacob gifts.

Chris wanted to find a way to accidentally elbow Jacob in the gut and knock him to the asphalt, but Brian wouldn’t like it.

Putting Brian and Chris on the same team might have been a mistake.

Justin and Chris had put in so many hours on the court together, and were very close in so many other ways, that their communication was seamless, and they made a strong team.

The same was also true of Chris and Brian. There was no way that any two people who weren’t used to being teammates on and off the court would be able to play that well together. It was disturbingly obvious to Justin, but he hoped that if anyone else noticed, it would be chalked up to experience in the sport. It was amazing, and helpful, how oblivious people could be.

The power duos of Chris and Justin and Chris and Brian overlapped into a strong force, and despite being a man down, they won easily. After several games, it was clear that their opponents were outmatched, and everyone went back into the house, sweaty and tired.

“Starving,” Erik said. “Famished.”

“Hungry?” Jacob guessed.

“Oh, sorry, did we wear you out, kicking your asses all over the court?” Justin asked.

“Yes, you did,” Dan said. “And now you owe us a meal.”

“Oops,” Jacob said, as they reached the living room. “Are we interrupting something?”

Spotting Brian and turning red, Ashley squirmed out from under Joey. “No, we’re just watching TV,” he said, sliding back to the other end of the couch.

“If that’s what you call it,” Chris said.

“Who won?” Joey asked.

“Guess,” Justin said. Turning to Dan, he said, “We’ll buy food if we can use the pool.”

“Would you be intending to wear your own clothes, borrow a suit, or just jump in naked and give everybody a show?” Chris asked.

“You can borrow a bathing suit,” Dan said quickly.

“That was going to be my answer,” Justin said.

“Of course it was,” Dan said.

Justin laughed.

Unsettled, JC stayed in Lance’s house, trying to puzzle out everything. He couldn’t figure out Howie, and lately he also couldn’t figure out himself, but he knew Lance. He should be able to understand.

Lance had been so upset, so furious so quickly, that JC wanted to help him. When Lance came home, JC wanted to be there.

What had really set Lance off? Had he been talking about Howie too much? Everything had seemed fine. Lance had been tense, but clearly Lance had been making an effort to get along, and JC had been grateful for that. It had seemed like they’d be able to make it through an entire conversation without shouting at each other.

And then Lance had exploded.

It had been that ring, that stupid ring. What was it about that ring?

Had Lance been giving in to long pent-up anger and frustration? Had he been holding back too much and finally let go? Or had he simply been overreacting to the ring itself?

There had been more than anger in Lance’s voice. More than frustration in Lance’s expression. JC had seen pain there. A lot of pain, and humiliation, and fear. Lance had been forcing JC away from the subject, refusing to let JC speak. He’d been protecting himself? Protecting the subject?

It was just a ring. Just a stupid, expensive ring. Just a simple question.

Food was ordered. Bathing suits were borrowed. Justin, Joey, Dan, and Ashley had a ducking contest. Chris, Trevor, and Erik sat on the side of the pool and ate Mexican food and judged the contest. Joey won. Brian and Jacob tucked up in one corner and ate Chinese food. Joey fed Ashley with his fingers. Trevor fed Chris with his fingers. Dan offered to feed Erik with his fingers, but Erik refused. Justin and Joey opened all of the fortune cookies, assigning the best fortunes to themselves and giving Chris the inscrutable ones. Joey and Ashley made out in the pool, and Justin and Trevor took bets on what their hands were doing underwater.

Erik stole the last egg roll from Jacob’s hand. Jacob chased him; Erik and Trevor turned it into a game of keep-away. Chris caught the egg roll and shoved it into his mouth; Trevor tackled him, and they fell into the water. Jacob, completely deprived of his food now, jumped in after them. An all-out, nine-person brawl ensued. When Erik, who’d started the whole thing, tried to escape, Chris chased him. That chase became a game of tag, in and around the pool.

Brian, it turned out, was excellent at tag, both at avoiding getting caught and at catching. He was, as Erik mentioned later, “A slippery, sneaky fucker.”

Finally, dripping wet, they went their separate ways. Joey caught Chris at the bottom of the stairs and whispered, “You okay?”

Chris’s smile was pained. “He touched me.”

Fed and showered, everyone settled down for the night.

Erik left a message on JC’s voice mail and went to bed.

Brian and Jacob sprawled out across Jacob’s bed, talking.

Joey took Ashley to bed.

Justin didn’t want to go home alone, but he was determined not to be pathetic and ask if he could stay. Dan, giving him room to decide what he wanted, stayed up watching TV in the living room with him.

Chris was too agitated to consider sleep. When Trevor began to make out with him, he was restless. Brian was downstairs. He’d been around Brian all day. Being on the court with Brian had been too much like before. Brian still had the perfect jump shot. Brian had asked him what he wanted to order from the Chinese place, like Brian didn’t already know the answer.

Brian always knew what he wanted. Brian always knew what he needed. The question was only when, if, Brian would decide to give him a taste of it.

Trevor sighed, running his palm up Chris’s back. Chris knew that he was frustrated, but his voice was only quiet when he asked, “Not tonight?”

Chris couldn’t look at him.

“Okay,” Trevor said, and kissed his cheek.

Trevor was sad, and confused, and hurt.

Chris looked at where his hand was on Trevor’s chest, then made himself meet Trevor’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Trevor kissed him. “It’s okay.”

Chris wondered how long it would be before it stopped being okay. Trevor was in love with him, but Trevor was human. Chris was crippling their relationship and wreaking havoc on Trevor’s sex life. Sexually and emotionally, it had to be confusing and unsatisfying. Trevor wouldn’t put up with it for much longer. It wouldn’t be long before Trevor got fed up and left.

Chris pushed his fingers up through Trevor’s hair, closing his eyes. Maybe it was a sign that he was more psychologically intact than he’d thought, but he was going to miss this.

Justin was slumped in one corner of the sofa, dozing. He’d finally succumbed to sleep, and Dan was loath to disturb him. Gradually lowering the volume on the TV, Dan considered his options. He didn’t want to leave Justin there alone, so that meant he’d be sleeping on the sofa, too. Getting up to dim the lights, he returned to his side of the couch with a couple of throw pillows, settling in as well as he could. Watching colors flicker across the screen, he felt his eyes drifting shut.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I love you!”

Dan wakened with a start, coming face-to-face with a wide-eyed, panicked Justin. Quickly orienting himself, Dan put a hand on Justin’s shoulder, willing Justin to calm down. “It’s okay,” he said in a quiet, firm voice. “It’s okay. It’s just me. You’re in my house.”

“I fell asleep,” Justin said uncertainly, looking around. Seeming to remember where he was, he sagged back against the armrest, sighing. “God,” he muttered, and rubbed at his eyes. “Why?”

Unable to answer that important question, Dan patted Justin’s knee. “It’s okay,” he said. He wondered when “I love you” had become nightmare material. “I’m going up to bed. Why don’t you come with me.”

Justin lowered his hands. “They all know I’m a pathetic wuss, don’t they?”

“They know that your last boyfriend was violent, cruel, and abusive,” Dan said. “I didn’t tell them that, they’ve all seen AJ in action for themselves. They know that you need your friends around you right now.”

“Then the answer is, yes,” Justin said.

“You’re not pathetic,” Dan said, “and you’re not a wuss. You’re tired,” he added, “and since you’re not a pathetic wuss, you’re smart enough to go to bed when you’re tired. So come on.” He stood, pulling a reluctant Justin up with him. “There’s only one bed left open, so we’d better grab it. Unless you want to sleep with Erik-Michael.”

JC closed Lance’s refrigerator with sudden force, startled by his own revelation.

The way he’d phrased the question. The way those words could have been interpreted.

“Did you ever give Howie a ring?”

To someone with a specific secret to hide, it might not have sounded like, “Did you give your former lover this specific gift?”

To someone with reason to have the subject already on his mind, it might have sounded like, “Did you propose to Howie?”

No. No. That was crazy. He was grasping at straws. Lance? Lance would never have proposed. To Howie? Propose marriage? That was ridiculous. It was ludicrous. It was-

It was possible.

JC swallowed.

Was it possible? Was it true?

No. Lance and Howie had been serious. Very serious. Very much in love. Very committed to each other. JC had never seen Lance so certain about anyone in his life. But then the confusion, the betrayals… Lance had given Howie the ring after Christmas, and considering what Howie had done to Lance by then, there was no way that Lance would have wanted to marry Howie at that point. Why would Lance have wanted to marry someone who was destroying his life?

Because after destroying it, Howie intended to abandon it. And Lance, unable to imagine a life without Howie in it, had been desperate to make Howie stay.

It wasn’t possible. It didn’t make any sense. Lance had lost it and yelled at him because they were all under considerable emotional strain, and he and Lance hadn’t been getting along that well.

JC couldn’t believe that he’d been jumping to conclusions like this. Lance would laugh in his face.

But… If it were true… Lance had clearly stated that he didn’t want to talk about it. And JC understood why that would be.

He didn’t know if Lance had proposed. He didn’t know if the idea had ever crossed Lance’s mind. And he wasn’t going to ask.

JC was going to respect Lance’s privacy. After everything that Howie had put him through, Lance deserved that, at least.

Chris opened his eyes. It was morning, he’d been dreaming about Brian, and his dick was hard. He was in love with Brian, and he was horny.

Brian was downstairs and completely unavailable.

Trevor was right beside him. Naked. Chris liked Trevor, and his body liked Trevor, too. Chris scrunched around until they were face-to-face, then kissed his ear, stroking warm caramel skin. “Hey,” Chris whispered.

“What?” Trevor asked, half-asleep.

“Wake up,” Chris said, kissing his mouth and caressing his biceps.

“For what?” Trevor mumbled, holding him closer but making no effort to waken further.

“I really want to have sex with you right now,” Chris said.

Trevor’s eyes popped open.

Chris kissed him, pushing him back and climbing on top of him. “Okay?” Chris asked.

Trevor was too busy kissing back and rolling them over to answer.

Lance didn’t know why JC’s car was still in his driveway, and he didn’t care.

He didn’t know why JC - - dressed, and on top of the covers - - was asleep on his bed, and he didn’t care. Carelessly removing clothes, Lance pushed at JC, who shifted over to make room for him. Lance got into bed, tired in heart, mind, and body. Twenty-three? He felt ninety-three.

“Good night?” JC asked.

“Yeah.”

“Got laid?”

“Yeah.” God, he didn’t deserve friends like this. Who did he come home to at the end of the day? Who waited for him? Not Howie. Not Brian.

“I’m sorry,” JC said.

Lance didn’t know what JC was apologizing for. Especially since JC hadn’t done anything wrong. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m just… I’m a complete shit sometimes.”

“No,” JC said, and Lance could tell that he believed it. “No, honey, you’re not.”

When Dan and Justin wandered down for breakfast in the morning, Erik, Trevor, and Chris were already there. Everyone sat around with cereal. Dan, Erik, and Trevor talked about rehearsing; Chris and Justin played footsies under the table. No doubt Dan was delighted about that, since he happened to be sitting between them.

“Good morning,” Brian said, entering the room with a bright smile.

Justin winced as Chris accidentally kicked him too hard.

“Oh my god,” Erik whispered to Trevor. “It’s a Backstreet Boy. And he’s in your kitchen.”

“Shut up,” Trevor said. “Can I get you something?” he asked Brian.

“Suck-up,” Erik said.

“He’s a guest,” Trevor said.

“He’s practically here every day,” Erik said. “Chris is a guest, and I don’t make breakfast for him.”

Justin kicked Chris to get him to react. Someone was going to notice if Chris kept staring into his cereal bowl like he was waiting for the marshmallows to attack.

“I wouldn’t mind pancakes,” Chris said suddenly. “Some bacon would be nice.” Then the strangest look crossed his face and he went back to staring at his cereal.

“We can make pancakes,” Dan said.

“What?” Erik asked Dan.

“We have guests, we can make pancakes,” Dan said.

“I’m up, I can make them,” Brian said.

Justin watched pure horror cross Chris’s face. Justin would have loved to get Chris out of the room, but he knew that Chris wouldn’t voluntarily leave while Brian was there.

“No, go ahead and have a seat,” Dan said, rising. “Do we have bacon?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Trevor said, getting up to help Dan.

“What just happened?” Erik asked. “Were you serious?” he asked Chris.

“Uh… Apparently,” Chris said.

Brian sat in Dan’s vacated chair, between Justin and Chris. Chris huddled further into himself, making as small a target as possible. Justin looked at Brian’s perfectly normal, innocuous, friendly face and wondered what in hell Chris was so damned scared of.

“How old are these eggs?” Trevor asked from the refrigerator.

“I thought we had Bisquik,” Dan said, searching cupboards.

“God,” Erik said, leaving the table. “I’ll find it.”

“What’s going on?” Jacob asked, coming into the kitchen.

Justin glanced under the table to ensure target placement first, then nudged Chris’s shin with one foot. Chris looked like he wanted to disappear, and between the indescribable look on his face and his absolute stillness, someone was bound to notice that something was wrong.

“We’re making pancakes,” Dan said.

Justin kicked.

“And bacon,” Chris said suddenly. “And I think that I said scrambled eggs, too.”

“You did,” Justin said. Okay. Maybe he could get Chris to maintain a pretense of normalcy. Just enough to pass cursory inspection. They’d be fine. The two of them were masters at pretending that everything was just fine while they were howling over soul-deep loss inside.

“Don’t push it,” Dan said.

“Well, if Brian wants eggs, I’m sure that Trevor could make some,” Erik said.

“Shut up,” Trevor said.

“I think I’ll just sit down,” Jacob said, taking the chair on Chris’s other side. Justin mentally cursed out Jacob for penning Chris in like that. If Brian and Jacob started interacting over Chris, he was screwed.

“It looks busy in here,” Joey said, walking in with Ashley.

“Hey, can you do us all a favor?” Trevor asked Ashley.

“Sure,” Ashley said. “What?”

“Next time you’re with Joey, could you sleep at his house?”

Ashley turned bright red. “What?”

“Who else heard them this morning?” Trevor asked.

Erik, Dan, Chris, and Justin raised their hands.

“Sorry,” Joey said. “Didn’t mean to wake anybody up.”

“We’re just teasing you,” Dan told Ashley. “You go ahead and enjoy yourself.” He grinned. “Pretty.”

“Shut up,” Ashley said. “We all have sex in the house. You’ve been doing it with Chris,” he told Trevor.

“Yeah,” Erik said. “But there’s unh, unh, unh, do it,” he said, panting and rhythmically banging his fist on the counter. “And then there’s…” He squealed, shrieking and kicking the cabinet with his heel. “Yes! Yes! Fuck me, daddy, fuck me, harder!”

“Oh, god,” Justin said, bursting into laughter. Trevor was cracking up; Dan, Brian, and Jacob couldn’t help but join in.

“That was hot,” Chris said.

“I can see why you don’t get a lot of dates,” Jacob told Erik, trying to control his laughter.

“I don’t sound like that,” Ashley said.

Trevor and Erik coughed in unison.

“I don’t say ‘daddy,’” Ashley said. “That’s sick.”

“We’re sorry, Ash,” Jacob said. “Come on, sit down.”

“Do you want pancakes?” Dan asked Joey.

“No, thanks, I’m about to head out,” Joey said. “I’ll see everybody later.”

“Bye, daddy,” Chris said as Joey and Ashley left the kitchen. His phone rang. “Excuse me,” he said. “Hello, daddy?”

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Jacob told Erik.

“He started it,” Erik said, gesturing to Trevor.

“And it was hilarious,” Trevor said.

“I’m sorry,” Dan said to Brian. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about…”

“It’s all right,” Brian said. “Nick and Joey don’t mind each other’s side activities. I just don’t want to see Ashley get hurt.”

“You think Joey’s going to choose Nick over Ashley?” Trevor asked.

“I don’t think that Joey’s ever considered choosing Ashley,” Brian said.

“Ouch,” Erik said.

Chris hung up the phone. “I’m sorry to announce that I have to leave now.” He carefully didn’t look at Brian.

“You’ll miss the pancakes,” Trevor said.

“And the bacon,” Dan said.

“And the scrambled eggs,” Erik said.

“Ashley will probably be hungry after last night,” Chris said. “You can feed him.” He got up from the table, pausing by Trevor. “I had a terrific time, I’m glad that you’re all getting along, I’ll call you later.”

“Okay,” Trevor said, kissing his cheek. “Bye.”

“Wait,” Justin said suddenly, realizing. “Let me walk you out.”

“I can find the door,” Chris said.

“I-” Justin shut up so immediately that Chris knew that, somehow, Brian had silenced him. Brian was watching the cooking process, but one hand was out of sight under the table. “Bye,” Justin said.

“Bye,” Chris said, and left.

He was going to see Kevin, and Justin knew it.

Lance tore his croissant in half. “You think that they’d be that obvious about what they’re doing?”

“I don’t know,” JC said. “If they were trying to fool me, they should be a lot more subtle. But maybe they think that we’re so wrapped around their fingers, they can be obvious and we’ll still fall for it.”

“Exactly what happened?” Lance asked.

“They were talking about what to say to Dan, how to make him believe that AJ loves Justin. They said that it wouldn’t be enough just coming from AJ. It would be more believable if Dan heard it from other sources.”

“Like them,” Lance said. “A comment here, a comment there. Some word of mouth, telling his friends, so word can get back to him. So if he ever says anything to Trevor, Trevor will say that of course AJ loves Justin, because Trevor heard it from AJ’s best friends.”

“Exactly,” JC said. “But then about five minutes later, everyone was telling me how much Brian loves you. And Brian was telling me how great it is that Nick and I are close, and that he hasn’t been able to build a friendship with Chris, which is almost literally insane.”

“More than almost,” Lance said. “They told you that Brian’s in love with me?”

“Brian said it’s great that Nick and I are still close, then he mentioned Chris, then he said that he knows that we won’t forgive him but you’re giving him a chance to be close to you. Then AJ said, ‘JC doesn’t want to hear how in love with Lance you are,’ and took Brian right out through the front door.”

“Really,” Lance said, eyes focused, mind working.

“I asked if Brian’s really in love with you, and Howie said, ‘Of course he is.’”

“‘Of course he is,’” Lance repeated slowly.

“I asked Howie about it again, and Howie asked me, ‘Didn’t Lance tell you?’ I told him that you had, but that I hadn’t believed it, and neither had you. Kevin said, ‘He should.’”

Lance slowly shredded his croissant, thinking.

“Either that was honest conversation, or they were planting ideas in my head,” JC said. “I can’t tell the difference anymore.”

“We never could,” Lance said, dusting off his hands. “Maybe we should just assume that everything they say is a lie.”

“I’ve considered it,” JC said.

“How was Brian in the meeting?” Lance asked.

“He blushed whenever he talked about you. Whenever anybody talked about you,” JC said. He sighed. “I like him. I can’t trust him but it’s impossible not to like him.”

“I know,” Lance said. He leaned back in his chair, his gaze far away. “He’s so friendly I want to make him my closest friend. But every time I’m tempted, my mind goes right back to Chris. Two million dollars. The way Chris looked at me… Something’s wrong with Brian. Chris didn’t fuck himself up like that. It wasn’t just a bad break-up. Something happened to Chris. Brian did to him what Howie did to me and what Nick did to you, only worse, and more of it.”

“You have to be careful,” JC said. “Brian’s good. I know he’s trouble and I still want to smile back every time he smiles at me.”

“I’m not going to stop fucking him,” Lance said. “If he wants to play this game, I might as well play it with him. But if he thinks that he can get to me like he got to Chris, he’s wrong. After what Howie did to me, I’m never going to trust anyone who says he’s in love with me again.”

After handing Brian a plate and finding the syrup for Justin, Trevor picked up his cell phone, ducking out of the kitchen. As long as Chris was busy…

“Hello.”

“Hi, Kevin, it’s Trevor.” He glanced around for eavesdroppers. “Did you have anything you needed to get done this morning?”

“You don’t know how glad I am you called…”

Joey rang the doorbell. He’d managed to shed Ashley. He hoped that Nick just wanted to get caught up on everything, because that way he could be in and out pretty fast, and he’d have the rest of the day to do something else. Like maybe spend time with a woman for once.

“Hey, sweetness,” Nick said, pulling him inside and kissing him right on the mouth.

“Hi,” Joey said. “What’d you want to see me about?”

“Joey.” Nick loosely wrapped his arms around Joey’s shoulders, giving him a knowing smile. “You’re my boyfriend. I don’t need a reason to see you.”

“We’re not actually boyfriends,” Joey said, wondering how well Nick grasped reality.

Nick kissed him, slowly, teasing his mouth. “We are boyfriends,” Nick said, “and we’re going to act like it.” Nick’s kiss was convincing; Joey didn’t kiss people he wasn’t really into like that, soft lips and arousing promise. “Besides, we make a great couple.”

“Ashley thinks so,” Joey said, licking his lips as Nick backed up.

Nick snorted, making clear what he thought of Ashley. “I don’t know what you’re worried about. You had a boyfriend before.”

“That was AJ,” Joey said.

“So?” Nick asked, unconvinced. He slid his bare feet into the sandals he’d left by the door, picking up a pair of sunglasses.

“I was in love with AJ,” Joey said.

Nick grinned, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “You don’t love me?” He kissed Joey’s cheek, nuzzling his ear. With a smile in his voice, he said, “I love you.”

“Get a grip,” Joey said, elbowing Nick but smiling back. “Are you going somewhere?” he asked, looking at the sandals and sunglasses.

“Errands,” Nick said. “I have to see my publicist, stop by the label, and we have to pass by Kevin’s.”

“We?” Joey repeated.

“I told you that we’re spending the day together,” Nick said.

“Running errands?” Joey asked in disbelief.

“That’s what boyfriends do,” Nick explained. “We have to get going. You can tell me all about you and Ashley in the car.”

Minutes after Chris got home, Kevin was on his doorstep. While Kevin sat on the couch, Chris told him everything, all of the details of O-Town’s fight and making up, everything that he and Trevor had talked about and done. When he started to talk about Brian, Kevin hushed him by kissing him. Chris found himself hauled into Kevin’s lap and thoroughly felt up. Breathing heavily, Chris asked, “Did you want anything?”

“I’ll have to go in a few minutes,” Kevin said.

Right. Chris slid down Kevin’s legs to kneel on the floor, opening Kevin’s fly.

“Do it the way I taught you,” Kevin said.

Chris licked his lips, bending his head.

“What are we doing here, again?” Joey asked, following Nick to Kevin’s front door.

“Hanging out for a couple minutes,” Nick said, ringing the doorbell. “It’s a set-up for Trevor.”

Howie opened the door. “Hey. No one else is here yet.”

“Come on,” Nick said to Joey, walking in and heading right down the front hallway. “I need breakfast.” Nick started opening cupboards and taking things from the refrigerator. “How’s JC?” he asked Howie.

“Gorgeous,” Howie said with a smile, leaning against the table. “Sexy. Beautiful.”

“That’s my baby,” Nick said, tossing Joey a muffin. “What about Estrada?”

“I’ve never met anyone who loves fucking men so much who insists he’s straight,” Howie said.

Nick cupped Joey’s chin in one hand. “Howie, meet Joey.” The doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” he said, and left the kitchen.

Joey ate his muffin, leaning back against the cabinets. He didn’t have anything to say to Howie. He decided not to be offended at how casually they’d been discussing JC, because technically they’d only said good things, and their tone of voice had been affectionate.

“…tell Brian about it.”

At the sound of AJ’s voice, Joey’s entire body snapped to attention. Especially his dick. When AJ came into the kitchen, dropping his hat and sunglasses on the table and reaching past Howie for a muffin, Joey swallowed drool.

“Hey,” AJ said to him with a flirtatious smile, nudging a chair out of the way and leaning back against the table. “Come over here and kiss me hello.”

“This is going to be disgusting,” Nick told Howie.

Joey tossed his wrapper away, going straight for AJ, pressing his lips to AJ’s while he hoisted AJ up onto the table. Legs hard with muscle wrapped around Joey’s waist while AJ growled appreciatively into their kiss.

The doorbell rang.

“AJ, you want to get that?” Nick asked.

“I’ll get it,” Howie said.

AJ was peeling out of his own shirt, leaning back and pushing Joey’s head down. There wasn’t even a moment of hesitation on Joey’s part, because he knew, he’d been trained, not to deny AJ anything. If AJ wanted it on Kevin’s table in front of Howie and Nick, then AJ would get it. Joey didn’t have enough access to AJ to refuse anything anymore.

His dick was throbbing. God, he wanted AJ’s body.

He was sucking AJ’s nipples and dragging his teeth over AJ’s pecs when he heard Brian say, “Good morning, AJ.”

AJ groaned, arching into Joey’s bite, the hands in Joey’s hair pushing his head lower.

The doorbell rang.

“That’s Trevor,” Brian said.

“Fuck,” AJ said, and dragged Joey up to his mouth for a hungry kiss. “Go with Nick,” AJ said, hands pushing Joey back, lust in his eyes. “I’ll call you later.”

Nick handed AJ his shirt, wrapping a hand around Joey’s upper arm. “You can fuck my friends later. Come on.”

“He hasn’t told me that he loves me,” JC said. “He has, in front of Erik, but that doesn’t count.”

Lance hesitated. “I know how this is going to sound. We both know that I’m too close to the situation to be unbiased. But, JC…” Lance looked empathetic, but his voice was calm. “If he does tell you that he loves you, you can’t believe him.”

JC knew that Lance was right. “I hope that he never says it.”

“They know how vulnerable we are to that emotion now,” Lance said. “They’ll use whatever ammunition they can find, and they know our weakest spots.” Lance’s smile was bitter. “They created those weaknesses, and now they’re going to exploit them.”

“We can’t let them do this to us again,” JC said.

“It’s too late for that,” Lance said. “They’ve already started.”

“We can’t beat them at their own game,” JC said. “They’re too good at it.”

“We can’t lose,” Lance said. “And we can’t call the game off, because we’ve come too far. All we can do now is play to win.”

“They’re too good,” JC said again. “I know we’re learning, but look at who we’re up against.”

“Winning means not losing,” Lance said. “Losing means letting them win.”

JC frowned.

“If they can’t break us, they lose. If we don’t let them get us, we win. They can play their games, they can try as hard as they want, but as long as we come out of this still sane and still together, we win.”

“We just have to stick it out,” JC said.

“We can’t let them get to us,” Lance said. “Don’t fall for Howie’s mind games. Don’t confuse the way he kisses you for real desire. He doesn’t love you, JC. Brian’s not in love with me. They’re playing us, they’re using us, they’re manipulating us for fun. Just like they did before.”

“All we have to do is make it through this?” JC asked.

“I’d love to get revenge,” Lance said. “Right now, I can’t figure out how. But we have time to think about it.”

“Joey will be okay,” JC said.

“Chris and Justin should be okay,” Lance said. “They’re too invested in Brian and Kevin to fall for Kevin and AJ. But we all have to look out for each other. We have to take care of each other.”

“We can’t afford not to,” JC said.

Lance’s expression was serious. “Exactly.”

When Trevor parked in Kevin’s driveway, there were a few other cars there. Paperwork in hand, he walked up to the front door and rang the bell.

The door opened. “Hello,” Howie said. “Long time, no see.”

“Who is it?” a voice called. AJ McLean’s voice. Trevor was having an out-of-body experience.

“It’s Trevor,” Howie called over one shoulder. To Trevor, he said, “Do you want to come in?”

“Uh… I just…” He stepped into the house, nervous. Having a Backstreet Boy in his house, amazing. Having several of them around, on their turf? “Kevin asked me to bring this by.”

“He’s not home yet,” Howie said, closing the door behind Trevor’s back.

“Oh.” They were in Kevin’s house, without Kevin. Of course they were. They could do that. They were Backstreet Boys. They were Kevin’s…people.

“Hey,” Brian said, coming up to them in the foyer. “Are you following me or am I following you?” he asked Trevor.

“He brought over some papers for Kevin,” Howie said.

“I’d offer you muffins, but I think you just ate,” Brian said. “Trevor makes great pancakes,” he told Howie.

“Dan made them,” Trevor said, trying not to have a heart attack.

“You mixed the ingredients,” Brian said. “That’s the most important part. Did you want to sit down?”

“I don’t know if Kevin wanted me to stay,” Trevor said. Sit down? Sit down and talk? Sit down and talk and hang out?

“He asked you to come over, didn’t he?” Howie asked. Howie and Brian were walking towards the living room, so Trevor followed them. Right there in front of him, Nick and Joey were making out on the sofa. Trevor glanced at Howie and Brian, but they were sitting down on the other sofa like nothing was going on. Trevor took the armchair, his gaze zeroing back in on Nick and Joey. They’d half-turned to face each other, Nick against the armrest, Nick’s leg up across Joey’s lap. Joey had one hand in Nick’s hair, one hand on the back of the thigh across his lap, gripping like he wanted Nick closer. When Joey’s hand slid back towards Nick’s ass, Nick made an aroused, encouraging sound, one hand stroking the side of Joey’s neck, his other hand between their bodies rubbing the inside of one thigh. Whenever Joey made a turned-on sound, Nick made one, too, like hearing Joey hot for him made him hot for Joey right back.

Trevor had never seen Nick and Joey together that way before. They were acting like regular boyfriends, making out on a friend’s couch. They were also hot as hell. Nick kissed like he’d never tasted anything as sinfully, decadently delicious as Joey’s mouth; touched like he’d never felt a sexier, more luxurious sensation than Joey’s skin; and moaned like he was coming. Joey was really into it, pushing Nick back against the armrest one minute, pulling Nick more into his lap the next, groaning into Nick’s mouth, tugging on Nick’s hair.

Until now, in Trevor’s mind, Joey and Nick’s relationship had been somewhat abstract. Yes, Joey had a boyfriend, and yes, Nick had a right to be pissed about Joey being with Ashley; but the reality of an actual relationship hadn’t set in. But now, here it was, right in front of Trevor. Nick and Joey. Joey, with Nick, making out with Nick, spending time with his boyfriend. Ashley was nowhere in sight. Ashley probably wasn’t anywhere on Joey’s mind. And why should he have been? Joey was with his boyfriend. His very hot, very real boyfriend.

“What’re you doing here?” AJ strode in, pinning Trevor with his gaze while he sat down, posing naturally on Brian’s armrest like there wasn’t plenty of space between Howie and Brian on the couch.

“I, uh,” shit, he didn’t even remember.

“He brought over some papers,” Brian said. “Kevin asked him to.”

“Kevin needs you to run his errands for him?” AJ asked.

“I’m sure that Trevor doesn’t mind helping out a friend,” Brian said.

Nick was moaning like things were getting really, really good. Trevor didn’t dare look.

“Didn’t you just come from his house?” AJ asked Brian. “If you’re coming from the same place he’s coming from, you could have taken the same route and picked up the papers.”

“Maybe Kevin invited him over for more than just paperwork,” Howie said with a smile, and winked.

Trevor blushed. Or maybe he was just a little warm from all of the heat that Nick and Joey were generating.

“I think it’s great that you two are friends,” Brian told Trevor.

“Friends,” AJ said, and snorted. “Kevin doesn’t make up bullshit excuses to see his friends.”

“Maybe you and Kevin and Jacob and I can hang out sometime,” Brian said.

Kevin and Jacob? What a bad idea. “Sure,” Trevor said. He’d talked himself out of the idea that Kevin had been hitting on him, but were they suggesting… Did Kevin’s own friends think… Kevin could have the most beautiful women in the world. Or the hottest guys. He wasn’t ass crack ugly, but he wasn’t exactly on Kevin’s level, either.

“Unless you’re… I know you and Chris are close,” Brian said, immediately backing up like he didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes.

“No,” Trevor said quickly. “I mean, yes. I mean… We’re not boyfriends.”

“You can do better,” AJ said.

“AJ,” Howie said, glancing at Trevor.

“Chris is terrific,” Trevor said. Chris was amazing. Was it okay for AJ to talk about Chris that way in front of Joey? Not that Joey was exactly listening to the conversation, since his ear was occupied by Nick’s tongue.

AJ raised his eyebrows. “He’s no Kevin.”

Well… That wasn’t exactly fair. No one was Kevin. Except, of course, for Kevin himself, who was…wow. Wait, did AJ think - - what did AJ think?

“Hey, you made it.” Kevin came into the room, pushing up his shirtsleeves, smiling right at Trevor. “Not on my couch,” he said, pulling Nick back from Joey by one ear. Muttering a quick curse, Nick rubbed at his ear; Joey looked around, licking his lips. “Thanks,” Kevin said to Trevor. “I really appreciate you doing this for me. I was going to pick it up myself, but something came up.”

“You’re welcome,” Trevor said, getting to his feet. It was time for him to go; it wasn’t like he could just stay for the meeting, and he didn’t want to linger and make Kevin ask him to leave. He didn’t place demands on Kevin’s time or on Kevin’s hospitality.

“I’ll walk you out,” Kevin said.

“Thanks,” Howie told Trevor.

“Good to see you again,” Brian said. “Rehearsal’s in half an hour,” he added with a smile.

“I’ll be there for it,” Trevor said.

“Rehearsal?” Kevin asked, stepping outside with him, pulling the door almost shut.

“Just regular rehearsal,” Trevor said. “To keep the routines in shape.”

“That’s good,” Kevin said. He was such an incredibly handsome man it was hard to look directly at him. “Thank you,” he said. “For bringing over the paperwork.”

“You’re welcome,” Trevor said. He handed it over, knowing that in another minute he’d get too distracted by Kevin’s presence and forget what he’d been asked to do.

“Maybe someday we’ll get to see each other under other circumstances,” Kevin said. “Something that doesn’t involve picking up paperwork or dropping off dry-cleaning.”

Kevin was smiling right at him. “I’d like that,” Trevor said, because anything but an understatement would have scared Kevin off. Not that much would scare Kevin Richardson.

“I don’t want you to do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable,” Kevin said. “I know how you feel about Chris, and I don’t want to do anything that might compromise that.”

Chris. The guy he was in love with.

“But maybe sometime you could come over just…as a friend,” Kevin said.

Whoa. Trevor staggered under the blow. Friend? Kevin Richardson wanted to be his friend? “Okay,” Trevor said. “Yeah.” Whoa. “That’d be great.”

“Okay,” Kevin said with another smile. “Thanks, again.”

“Yeah,” Trevor said. Whoa. “You’re welcome.” He was going to pass out.

Justin walked into the rehearsal room. “This is where the magic happens?”

“As much magic as we can muster,” Dan said.

“You don’t mind visitors?”

“You got a camera broadcasting this on national television?” Dan asked.

“No,” Justin said, showing Dan his empty hands.

“Then you can stay,” Dan said.

Jacob walked in, shirtless, pulling back his hair. Dan followed Justin’s gaze. “Skinny little thing, isn’t he?”

“Shut up,” Jacob said. “You staying?” he asked Justin.

“I thought I’d check it out,” Justin said.

“Maybe you can give us some pointers,” Ashley said, coming into the room. “You’re one of the best dancers I’ve ever seen.”

“Thanks,” Justin said.

“I’m here,” Erik announced. “Five minutes early.”

“Congratulations,” Jacob said, walking over to the stereo.

“Where do you want to start?” Dan asked, stretching.

“The second we got off ‘The Tonight Show,’ we never performed ‘Favorite Girl’ again,” Erik said. “And I don’t want to name any names, but I don’t think that we all had it down.”

“Okay,” Dan said. “Let’s start there.”

Justin wondered what he was about to see. From the bits and pieces of videos and performance tapes he’d seen, Jacob and Trevor were their best dancers. None of them would ever be a sensation, but Dan and Ashley and Erik didn’t exactly suck. But that was on an individual basis. They didn’t dance together as a group, they performed the choreography separately on the same stage at the same time. They weren’t dancing together. They didn’t move around the stage that well, either. They weren’t conscious of what everyone else was doing; they weren’t making an effort to pay attention to each other and cover the stage well.

At least, for the most part, they’d stopped bumping into each other.

Justin didn’t know what the magical element was that turned five separate people into one entity. Maybe it was just time. These five guys loved each other, but they hadn’t gelled into one unit yet. He wondered if they ever would.

Nick shifted gears.

Joey stared out the window.

“You want me to start fucking JC in front of you?” Nick asked.

Joey’s head whipped around; he stared at the side of Nick’s expressionless face. “I don’t want you to touch him ever again.”

Nick took his eyes from the road to turn and look at Joey. His sunglasses shouldn’t have been a problem, because Joey could read AJ at a glance, but Joey had no idea what Nick was thinking or feeling. “Then don’t jump AJ in front of me.” He turned back to his driving.

Joey stared out through the windshield. That was different, in a way he couldn’t verbalize. “He asked me to.”

“So if I ask JC to suck my dick on your kitchen table, that’ll be okay?”

Joey wished that he were driving. “Fuck you.”

“I don’t care what you do with that little bitch on the side,” Nick said. “But I don’t want you shoving AJ in my face. I’ve never done anybody in front of you, so maybe you can respect me enough to show me the same courtesy.”

It sounded like they were a real couple have a real argument, and Joey wondered when the lines between fantasy and reality would stop blurring. “If AJ asks me to do it, I’m going to do it.” If Nick wanted to stop Joey from being with AJ, then he’d have to talk to AJ.

Could Nick do that? If Nick asked AJ to stop, would AJ stop? AJ was a force of nature; Nick would never have the kind of power that it took to stand in AJ’s way. How much influence did Nick have over AJ?

Nick downshifted.

“He’s never asked me to do anything in front of you before,” Joey said. “He probably won’t again.” It wasn’t safe to say that AJ prob