Sucker

Copyright November 24, 2002-April 29, 2005 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Continued from part twenty-eight...

            Naked, Justin was twined with AJ on the armchair.  Stroking AJ’s nape with lazy fingers, he rested his forehead against AJ’s temple.  He watched AJ caress the bold, detailed tattoo so close to his dick it was obscured by the hair curling there.  “You have to tell him that I love him.”

            “I don’t have to do anything,” AJ said mildly.

            “I need him,” Justin whispered, closing his eyes. “You know I need him.”

            “You went months without him,” AJ said.  “You made it.”  His touch was casually intimate.  They’d settled quickly into an odd familiarity.  Already, they were close to taking each other for granted.

            “He’s so close,” Justin said.  “He’s so close and he’s so far.  When there was distance between us, when he was so far away he was separate from me…  It was hard, but I could do it.  Now he’s close, he’s here, he’s with Chris, I’m only one step away from him.  He’s on the other side of you, he’s on the other side of Chris, our lives are tangled up again and I can’t take this torture.”

            AJ cupped Justin’s balls, cradling them gently, toying with them.  “You know what I’m going to say.”

            “It’s not true,” Justin whispered.

            “Kevin’s life is separate from yours, and it always will be,” AJ said.  “You see him as a part of your life, and I can’t help that, but you’re not a part of his life.  You’re a disgusting fact he’d like to eradicate from existence.”

            “Shut up,” Justin said, his voice soft and tight.  “Don’t say that to me.  You can think whatever you want to think.  Kevin was good to me once.  He used to tell me that I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.”

            AJ ran his fingertips over the cross on Justin’s upper arm.  “Was that before or after he kept you chained to his bed for four days straight?”

            Justin opened his eyes and looked directly into AJ’s face.  “I hate you,” he said with simple, plain truth.

            AJ shrugged casually.  “Works for me.”  He rubbed Justin’s thigh.  “Want to go again?”

            “He said what?” Joey asked, disbelieving.  Maybe they had a bad connection.

            “He said that he hasn’t been able to build a friendship with Chris,” JC said.  “Those were his exact words, ‘I haven’t been able to build a friendship with Chris.’”

            Joey wished that he were speaking to JC in person, because the phone couldn’t capture the expression on his face.  “What the fuck is he talking about?”

            “I don’t know,” JC said.

            “Build a friendship with Chris?” Joey repeated.  That was a strange, wrong, bizarre thing to say on so many levels, it was hard to explain.

            “I’m not even going to tell Chris that he said it,” JC said.  “It’s going to fuck with his head too much.”

            “Did he say anything else?” Joey asked.  “Anything that made sense?”

            “Not much after that, but AJ said that Brian’s in love with Lance, and when I asked about it, Howie and Kevin confirmed it.”

            “Are you kidding me?” Joey asked.  “Are you fucking with me?”

            “No, but maybe they’re fucking with me,” JC said.  “I can’t even tell anymore.”

            “He’s in love with Lance?” Joey asked.  Any guy in his right mind would be after Lance, but Brian, in love?  Then again, “Hell, maybe he is.  Lance says he’s all over him.”

            “Brian used to be all over Chris,” JC said.  “Maybe now he’s doing to Lance whatever he did to Chris.”

            “Hell, no,” Joey said.  “We can’t afford to lose Lance the way we lost Chris.”

            “We didn’t lose Chris,” JC said, but he didn’t sound sure of that.  “Hold on, Howie’s here.”

            Joey waited through a soft murmur of voices.

            “Howie called Erik’s cell phone and the Townhouse, but no one’s answering,” JC said.  “Have you heard from Ashley?”

            “Not since last night,” Joey said.  “Is something going on?”

“Howie just said that Chris told Kevin that Erik went home for the first time since he told them he fucked their girlfriends, and they’re supposed to be having this big scene at the house,” JC said.  “But that was first thing this morning, so they can’t still be on that.”

            Joey picked up his house phone and called Ashley.  No answer.  “You think somebody should go over there?”

            “Hold on.”  Muffled conversation, probably JC checking with his superior.  JC came back with, “Not yet.  If everything goes well, they’ll start calling to talk about it.  If it goes badly, they’ll start fleeing to us.  Let’s just wait and see what happens.”

            It was ten o’clock when Erik and Trevor went for each other’s throats for the sixth time.  Dan, Jacob, and Ashley all had to wade in to rip them apart.  The day had taken its toll, and Jacob snapped.  After a tirade during which he tore into each person in the room, he cursed out Trevor, shredded Erik, and slammed out of the house.

            Ashley ran after Jacob.

            Extremely, extremely fed up with being the group punching bag, Erik took out the pain that Jacob had caused on the two people who were left.

            Extremely, extremely fed up with drama, bullshit, lies, betrayal, and pain, Dan stepped in between Erik and Trevor before Trevor could get a good shot in, and asked Trevor to leave and remove himself from the situation and take a breather.  It took some convincing, but finally Trevor left.

            Erik glared at Dan.  “What about you?”

            Dan looked at Erik.  He couldn’t believe that this was happening to them.  He had to pull the five of them back together, he had to re-form the group, but he wouldn’t be able to do it that night.  And he didn’t have the strength to do any more damage control.  “I’m going to take my own advice,” he said, and he left the house.

            Alone, Erik walked through the downstairs.  Furniture was knocked over in one room, food spilled in another, glass shattered in the next.  The fight had taken its toll on the house.  He knew that he should clean it up.  Dan would have.  But Dan had walked out on him.  Dan had left.  They all had.

            He rubbed his aching jaw.

            Fuck them.

            Erik left.

            The house stood abandoned, the disarray inside barely reflecting the true turmoil of its former occupants.

             Joey picked up the phone.  “You got Joey.”

            “Joey, it’s Ashley.  I have to see you.  Please tell me that you’re not with Nick.”

            “I’m at home, alone.  I was calling you earlier.  What’s wrong?”

            “Erik…  God, it’s…”  Ashley sounded miserable.  “Everything.”

            Brian opened his front door.  “What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

            “I have to talk to you,” Jacob said.  “You have to talk me down.  If I keep going in the direction my thoughts are taking me, it’s either him or me, one of us is leaving the band.”

            “It’s Dan,” Justin said, checking the caller ID.

            AJ growled softly, nipping Justin’s earlobe.  “Answer it.”

            Justin brought the phone to his other ear.  “You’ve been Justified.”

            “I’d like to come over, but I don’t think that I’d be very good company,” Dan said.

            “Come over,” Justin said.  “You don’t have to be good company.”

            “Okay,” Dan said.  He didn’t sound like himself.  There was nothing happy in his voice.  “Thanks,” he said, and he seemed to mean it.  “Bye.”

            “Bye,” Justin said, feeling a flicker of concern.  He hung up.  “Dan’s on his way.”  Curious about the way AJ was hissing and licking his nipples, he asked, “Do you have a thing for him?”

            AJ lightly dragged his fingernails down Justin’s stomach and looked up with a smile.  “He’s so hot just thinking about him makes me hard.”

            Surprised, Justin tugged AJ closer.  “Dan?”

            AJ licked Justin’s lips.  “Don’t you want him?”

            “No,” Justin said.

            AJ licked him again.  “Liar,” he whispered.

            Justin blushed.  “He’s a guy.”

            “I’m a guy,” AJ said, kissing beside his mouth.

            Justin couldn’t argue with that.  “He’s not Kevin,” he said, although that wasn’t a complete explanation.

            “You want him,” AJ said.

            “Shouldn’t you be leaving?” Justin asked.

            “You’re changing the subject,” AJ said, stroking the lines of his pecs.

            Justin kissed him just long enough to start enjoying it.  “Get out of my house.”

            AJ smirked and got up.

            “He’s an asshole,” Trevor said.

            “Hi,” Chris said.

            “He’s a bastard,” Trevor said.  “He’s a motherfucking - - do you know what the hell he said to me?”

            “Do you want to come in?” Chris asked, pulling the door wider.

            “They wouldn’t let me kill him,” Trevor said, stepping into Chris’s house.  “They should have let me fucking kill him.”

            Joey pretended to be attentive, bringing Ashley a drink, nodding and making pertinent comments every few sentences or so.  Even at, what, fourteen and sixteen, Justin and Lance had been more mature than these fools.  They were brats playing grown-up.  They should go back to singing in front of the mirror with a hairbrush and leave the real thing to people who were mature enough to handle it.

            When Ashley asked him for advice, he didn’t know what to say.  He couldn’t say, “Give up and go back home to mommy,” so he told Ashley to give it a little time, that once they all calmed down they’d be able to talk about it more rationally.  They were too upset to have a real conversation, but in a few days, they’d be less touchy.  And maybe Ashley should talk to Erik one-on-one, away from the other guys.

            Reassured, Ashley put out.

            Howie’s phone lit up.  He had two text messages.  The first, from AJ, said, “MM ON THE MOVE.”  The second, from Brian, said, “uc here.”  MM stood for Dan, and UC stood for Jacob; they took the first letter of each guy’s middle name and last name, then reversed them, so that if anyone else picked up their phones, it wouldn’t be blatantly obvious at first glance what they were talking about.  If Dan was on the move, and Jacob was at Brian’s house, then the meeting was over.

            Howie showed the messages to JC, explaining what they meant.  JC glowed with pride at being included.  It didn’t do any harm; the codes they used to discuss *NSYNC were different.

            “Then we should call Erik,” JC said.

            “We can’t sound concerned about him,” Howie said.  “We shouldn’t know that he went home or that they had the meeting.”  He handed the phone to JC, because letting someone else use his cell phone was a sign of trust.  “Just invite him over here.  Make it sound like you’ve missed him and you’ve been wanting him all day.  But be smooth, don’t overdo it.”

            JC glanced down at the phone, hesitating.

            “Take a moment,” Howie said, sliding off of the couch to kneel between JC’s thighs.  “Put yourself there.  If he’s going to hear it in your voice, you’re going to have to feel it.”

            JC’s eyes closed; he frowned.

            “Don’t push it,” Howie said soothingly, taking hold of JC’s hips and tugging them forward.  “Think about how long you had to go without him.  Think about how much you wanted him when he finally came back to you.”  He slid his hands up JC’s chest, pushing up JC’s shirt as he want, baring JC’s abdomen.  “Think about how good you felt last night, how hard he was inside you.”  Howie planted a warm kiss on JC’s stomach, then another, kissing up, then licking back down, slowly, teasing, tempting.  “Think about how good it would be to have him in you again.  He wants you so much, JC.  Remember how hard he was last night?  Remember how much you wanted it?”

            “He,” confused pleasure crossed JC’s face, “he touched me and…”

            Howie popped the button on JC’s jeans, opening the fly.  “Where did he touch you?” he asked softly, his voice coaxing as he exposed JC’s light blue boxer-briefs.  He pulled JC’s pants down and off, setting them aside and running his hands over the taut, lean muscles in JC’s thighs.  “Where did he touch you, JC?”

            JC’s inhalation was slow and shaky.  He spread his thighs, lifting one heel onto the sofa cushion in unconscious answer.

            “You wanted him to fuck you,” Howie murmured, and ran his fingers over JC’s arousal as it pushed thickly against the soft cotton.  “You were begging for his dick to fill that ache inside you.”  His touch trailed down, exploring through the barrier of fabric.  There was the soft pouch of JC’s balls, the hard circle of metal, and when Howie’s fingers slid lower, JC moaned, dick stiffening noticeably.  Howie gently rubbed him there, massaging in soothing circles.  Nick hadn’t exaggerated about JC’s desire for penetration; it didn’t matter how often he got it, he could never have enough.

            But Howie didn’t intend to give him the satisfaction, not until Erik got there.  Pushing JC’s thigh back further, he ducked his head and licked where his fingers had been, dragging his tongue over the cotton, letting JC feel the pressure of his caress.  “Say his name for me.”  He licked again, more insistently, and JC moaned.  “Erik-Michael,” Howie prompted, and JC breathed it, shivering.  “Louder,” Howie said, licking with more force, his tongue probing.

“Erik-Michael,” JC moaned, pushing his underwear down to free his dick, grasping it with one hand.

“Call him,” Howie said, raising his head and stroking with his fingers again, circling gently.

JC focused long enough to dial, then collapsed, head back, eyes closed, panting.  He fisted his dick slowly, a smooth motion from base to head.  Howie kissed his knuckles, waiting.

“Erik-Michael,” JC said breathlessly.  He drew in more air, shifting restlessly.  “I want to see you, honey.  Can you come over?”

 Howie rubbed more insistently, an up-and-down motion that made JC moan.

“Yes.  Okay.  Yes, honey, now.”  JC groaned.  “Yes.  We’ll be waiting.  Good-bye, Erik-Michael.”  JC dropped the phone, arching his back and moaning.  “Howie, please…”

Howie pulled JC’s underwear down and off, climbing up onto him and easing off his shirt, too.  Eyes opening, JC reached for him, pulling him into a deep, wet kiss.  “Do you want him first, or me first?” Howie asked, undulating against his gorgeous body.

JC moaned, running slender hands over Howie’s thighs.  “You first,” he said, his eyes filled with lust.  When Howie cupped his balls, rubbing his dick, he groaned, eyes closing again.  “I love the way you fuck me.”

“I love fucking you,” Howie murmured, and kissed his beautiful mouth.

            “I don’t know what to do,” Dan said.  He was sitting forward on the edge of the couch, his elbows on his knees, his head down.  One hand rubbed wearily over his face.  “We can make this work, I know we can.  We have to.  But it’s going to take work.  It’s going to take patience and effort, and I just don’t know if I have the strength for it right now.”

            Justin winced.  Because of him.  He was sapping all of Dan’s energy.  Dan had a great store of strength, and Justin had been depending on that, but he’d been using up all of Dan’s resources.  And now, because he’d been selfish, Dan needed that strength for himself, and it wasn’t there.

            “I know that sounds selfish and weak,” Dan said.  “It’s up to me, the guys count on me.  I should be there for them, I should be doing everything I can to bring us back together.  I know what I need to do, I know what I should do, I just…  I don’t have the energy.”

            “I’m sorry,” Justin said, placing a careful hand on Dan’s back.

            “I’m sorry,” Dan said.  “You don’t need this.”  He sighed, burying his face in his hands.  “I shouldn’t let everything get to me.  I should be stronger than this.”

            “You’ve been dealing with everyone else’s problems,” Justin said.  “You can’t save all of us at once.”  He hesitated, studying Dan’s bent head.  “Maybe you should put me on hold for awhile.  I know you haven’t been able to tell so far, but I can take care of myself.  And I have the guys to lean on.”

            “I’m not going to abandon you now,” Dan said.  “I’ve made too many promises.”

            “You don’t have to abandon me,” Justin said.  “But you don’t have to give me all of your attention and all of your energy, either.  There are other things in your life that you have to take care of.”  His thumb rubbed over Dan’s shoulder blade.  “Maybe you could take care of yourself a little, too.”

            “I’m fine,” Dan said.  That wasn’t true, but he didn’t seem to realize it.  “Today’s just been a rough day.”  He rubbed at his eyes.  “Tomorrow I’ll talk to the guys, I’ll get together with Jacob, we’ll figure out what to do.”

            Justin’s hand slid down to the small of Dan’s back.  He leaned back into the cushions and looked at Dan’s back.  Looked at his hand on Dan’s back.  Dan was one of the best people he knew.  One of his favorite people, but more than just that.  There was a very strong core to Dan, a grounded, firm center of strength and integrity.  Dan was a lot of fun, a really nice guy with a great, happy smile.  His determination, his willpower, his loyalty, his protective nature - - Dan was a great leader, a respectful person, someone who knew himself well.

            Someone who knew Justin, and wanted to stay.

            “I want to help you,” Justin said.

            Dan put one hand back.  Justin grasped it: one two.  Dan answered: three four.

            Kevin had stripped Justin of any ability to save himself, and much of his desire to do so.  But he still wanted to help his friends, and Dan had become one of the best friends he’d ever had.

            If he tried to help Dan, AJ wouldn’t like it.  So what?  Justin and Dan were supposed to be friends, and it would be in character for Justin to want to help.

            “We can fix this,” Justin said.

            “He’s lying,” Dan said.

            “What?” Justin asked.

            “Erik’s lying,” Dan said.  “I know he’s lying.  I just don’t know why.  I can’t figure it out.  He’s that mad at us?  For blaming him for the flooding?  He’s been mad at Trevor for blaming him for everything that goes wrong, but then why wouldn’t he say that he had sex with one of Trevor’s girlfriends?”

            “I don’t know,” Justin said.

            “I would never want to hurt the other guys like that,” Dan said.

            “I know,” Justin said.  He rubbed Dan’s back.  “They’re your best friends.”

            “I should talk to Jacob,” Dan said.  “He still has the fight left in him.  I just felt so drained, so numb, I just wanted to sit down and let it happen, I almost didn’t care anymore.  But Jacob was as sharp as ever, pulling them apart when they started fighting.  Every time Erik started in on Ashley, Jacob was right there, stepping right in and making him shut up.  There’s so much fire in Jacob, he has so much energy, I don’t know where he gets it from.”

            “You’ll have more of it tomorrow,” Justin said.  “It’s been a really bad day, a really long day.  You need to start over in the morning.”

            “If he gives up, we’re fucked,” Dan said.

            Justin didn’t want Dan to start thinking down that path.  “Have you had anything to eat today?”

            “Uh…  Not after breakfast,” Dan said.

            “Okay,” Justin said.  “Then let’s get you something.  Come on, come into the kitchen,” he said, patting Dan’s back and getting up, tugging on Dan’s hand.

            Moving reluctantly, Dan stood.  “I appreciate you trying to help,” he said.

            “It’ll work out,” Justin said.  “We’ll make it work out.”

            Jacob was in obvious distress, moving around the room in aggressive agitation, cursing and threatening.  It took several minutes for Brian to get him to sit down, and when he did, he wasn’t much quieter.  Jacob was furious with Erik, furious with Trevor, displeased with Ashley, bitter and angry at the world.  The only people on the planet he didn’t seem to have a major problem with were Brian and Dan, so Brian started there.

            They talked about Dan, what Dan had done for the group, how much of an ally Dan was, how Dan didn’t deserve to have the group break away around him after all of the hard work that they’d done.  The two of them were the leaders; it would be harder for the other three to abandon ship with Jacob and Dan pushing for solidarity.

            Finally, pushing his hair back with both hands, Jacob gave in and agreed that if he and Dan talked everything out and came to an agreement, together they could keep the group going.  But it would be hard.  No one was fond of Erik at the moment, and Erik and Trevor were having serious problems.

            Brian turned the discussion to Ashley next.  Erik and Ashley were best friends, and Dan and Trevor were best friends, which left Jacob out.  Jacob respected Dan, but despite his rather low opinion of Ashley’s relative weakness, it was clear that Ashley was Jacob’s favorite.  It took Brian a while to get Jacob to talk about Ashley without harping on Ashley’s friendship with Joey, but once that was accomplished, Jacob admitted that he loved Ashley, and he knew how important the band was to Ashley, and he knew that if he and Dan tried to smooth things over, Ashley would immediately follow their lead.

            Talking about Trevor took more time.  Jacob got worked up all over again, and Brian had to hold both of his hands to get him to pay attention and actually listen.  It was interesting that, while in talking about Ashley, Jacob had said some very harsh things about Joey, and while in talking about Dan, Jacob had made some disparaging comments about Justin, when he talked about Trevor, Jacob didn’t even mention Chris.  Apparently, he didn’t view Chris as a problem.

            After a while, Jacob’s gaze dropped to their joined hands.  After that, whenever his gaze rose or wandered away, it still returned to their hands.  The sight of their mild physical union seemed to calm him, or strengthen him.

            It was late, and Jacob had to be tired, hungry, even exhausted.  Emotionally, he’d had a rough day; physically, he hadn’t eaten, and his body was tense from stress.  But he didn’t seem to notice any of that; he argued as passionately as if he were at the top of his game.

            Eventually, though, when Brian gently squeezed his hands and asked him if he’d like to eat something or just to go bed, he slowly deflated, right there in front of Brian.  Tiredly rubbing at one eye, he looked worn out, young, in over his head.  “Aren’t you going to ask me about Erik?” he asked, unable to summon the edge back into his voice.

            “No,” Brian said softly, heart aching for his love’s frustration and pain.  “We both know how much you love him and how much you need him.”

            “He’s an asshole,” Jacob said, and energy began to crackle back into him as he opened his mouth to launch into another tirade.

            “He’s your best friend,” Brian said, stroking Jacob’s forearm and gently defusing the bomb.  “And he’s the strongest singer you have.”

            “That’s bullshit,” Jacob muttered, but he couldn’t argue further.

            “Come and eat,” Brian said.  “I have to feed you before I put you to bed.”  Jacob didn’t move, and Brian looked at him with warm, encouraging eyes.  “What is it?”

            “Do you think that I’m too skinny?”

            “No, I don’t,” Brian said.  “I’d say skinny, but I wouldn’t say too skinny.”  He patted Jacob’s knee.  “Why?”

            Jacob looked disgusted outside, vulnerable inside.  “Someone told me that my body’s so prepubescent I look androgynous.”

            Brian smiled, keeping enough supportive warmth in his eyes that it wouldn’t look like he was laughing at Jacob.  “That’s crazy.  You look great.  Do you have the right working parts?”

            “Yeah,” Jacob said.

            Brian grinned.  “Do you have hair where you’re supposed to?”

            Jacob’s smile was embarrassed.  “Yeah.”

            “Then that’s all you need,” Brian said.  “I think you look great.  Anyone who’d take a cheap shot like that doesn’t even know what he’s talking about.”  He grinned again, briefly touching Jacob’s cheek, watching a blush rise to his caress.  “He was probably just confused.  He’s probably never seen a man as pretty as you are.”

            Jacob looked embarrassed, offended, and flattered at once.  “I’m not pretty.  I’m not even all that good-looking, and I’m definitely not…pretty.”  He shuddered, disgusted.

            Brian’s gaze softened; sensitive fingertips traced across Jacob’s eyebrows, skimmed along the curve of Jacob’s jaw, brushed just beside his mouth.  “Maybe I’m a little biased, but I think you’re beautiful.”

            Jacob went so still, he stopped breathing.

            “I love the guys,” Ashley said.

            “I know, pretty,” Joey said, pulling the covers up over them.

            “They’re such a big part of my life…  They are my life.”

            Joey wrapped an arm around Ashley’s waist, thinking about his own group.  “I know.”

            “I just…”  Ashley sounded lost.  “I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

            Joey kissed Ashley’s cheek.  “It’ll be okay,” he promised.  “You won’t have to find out.”  He almost felt bad for Ashley, because Ashley really was a good person who didn’t deserve that level of betrayal.  On the other hand, if they were stupid and immature enough to let this break up their group, then they should go ahead and split up, because a break was inevitable.

            Ashley nestled closer, clinging.

            Joey stroked his back.  “It’ll be okay.”

            “Stupid ugly fucker,” Trevor muttered.

            “I’m really enjoying this afterglow,” Chris said.

            “He’s such a fucking asshole,” Trevor said, rolling over and glaring at Chris in the darkness.  “Did I tell you-”

            “Yes,” Chris said.  “Yes, you did, and I was properly offended the first fifteen times.”

            “He said-”

            “I know,” Chris said, and his tone was softer now.  “I know, I know he’s an asshole, I know you hate him.  It’s royally fucked up that he’d do this.  But, and I’m just asking this as the voice of reason, is it really fair that you’re louder and angrier than everyone else?  I know that you’re outraged on their behalf, I know that everything that he does affects you as part of the group, I know that you have every right to hate him.  Ashley’s too nice to really hate him the way he deserves, and Dan’s too good to strangle him, so you’re just making up that for that.  But if he fucked their girlfriends, and you’re more upset than they are, does that make sense?”

            “He can’t even prove that he did it,” Trevor said.

            “Yeah, well, that’s a whole other problem,” Chris said.

            “He hits really fucking hard,” Trevor muttered, settling in at Chris’s side, wrapping his arms around Chris’s waist and pillowing his head on Chris’s stomach.

            “I know,” Chris said, petting Trevor’s hair.  “Poor baby.  We could document the bruising and sue him.”

            “Good,” Trevor muttered, reluctantly relaxing.

            “Okay,” Chris said, stroking his scalp.  “We’ll get to that first thing in the morning.”

            “Good,” Trevor repeated.  He fell asleep.

            Chris’s caress strayed down across Trevor’s forehead.  He stroked Trevor’s hairline.  “I really like you.”

            Dan was asleep.

            Holding his breath, Justin turned by careful, exacting increments.  He had great experience in this; he’d learned how to move with extreme caution without waking up Kevin.  Eventually, he completed his turn, face-to-face with Dan.

            Since Justin wasn’t comfortable in the dark, a lamp shone softly, providing enough light for Justin to see the black line of Dan’s lashes.  Soft, generous lips were parted.  Dan’s breathing was slow and even, his chest firm.

            Justin put his hand on Dan’s upper arm.  Dan was sleeping in his underwear and a T-shirt, the way he usually did, but this T-shirt was sleeveless, and when Justin touched him, his skin was warm.

            Dan’s life was slipping out of his control, and it was Justin’s fault.

            Wasn’t that the goal?  Shouldn’t he be happy?  Shouldn’t he be calling AJ and gloating?

            Justin licked his lips, hesitating.

            He wasn’t in love with Dan.  He was in love with Kevin.

            He wasn’t going to have sex with Dan.  He had sex with AJ.

            But he did love Dan.  And he liked the way Dan made him feel.

            He wanted to touch Dan’s face.  He’d done it before, in New York, and he’d liked it.  Dan was an attractive guy, and Justin just…wanted to…

            His hand hovered an inch away from its goal.

            He couldn’t.  Dan was a good person, a good man who trusted him.  Dan had been only good to him, had never done anything to cause him the least second of pain, and he couldn’t touch Dan against Dan’s will.

            Dan didn’t want him.

            He wasn’t worthy.  He was filthy, cheap, whoring gutter trash.  If Dan were awake, Dan would be disgusted by his touch.  Degraded by it.  He couldn’t do that to someone who’d been good to him.

            Inch by inch, Justin turned around again, putting his back to Dan.

            Dan was the first man he’d ever wanted to offer his body to, after Kevin.  The only one, besides AJ.  It wasn’t like he saw Dan and thought, oh, yeah, I want some of that.  It was just that he felt close to Dan, protected by Dan, grateful to Dan, and he wanted to give Dan something in return.  Being held by Dan made him feel safe, but he couldn’t imagine what Dan got out of it; if Dan fucked him and got off in his body, he could understand that.  That made sense to him.

            He was willing to trade his body for Dan’s friendship.

            The fact that Dan refused him had been confusing at first; why wouldn’t Dan want to fuck him?  Why wouldn’t Dan want to use him?  But then he’d remembered that Dan was a good person, someone with morals and integrity.  Someone like that wouldn’t make a trade like that, and someone like that wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole, anyway.

            Thinking about what a dirty, filthy, disgusting whore he was had used to send him into the bathroom for painfully hot showers, where he’d scrub at his skin until the water turned ice-cold and the soap was gone.  Now, it just made him sick inside with fear and self-loathing.

            He was used to that feeling.

            He lived with it for every second of every day.

            “You have to relax,” Brian said.

            “I’m relaxed,” Jacob said.

            Brian reached out across the bed in the darkness and found Jacob’s hand.  It was clenched into an angry fist.  “You’re not relaxed.”

            “He fucked my girlfriend.”

            “You can’t get in touch with her,” Brian said.  “He’s in your home every day.  He is your home.”

            “She’s the sweetest girl I’ve ever known, and he was talking about her like she was a paid whore,” Jacob said.

            “He’s angry,” Brian said.  “He was saying it to hurt you.  You can’t let him get to you.  You know her better than he does.  Keep that memory of her.”

            “He said she was so wet for him that she…  He said that she was begging him to…”

            “Don’t do this,” Brian said softly, squeezing his hand.  “You don’t even know if he’s telling the truth.  Don’t listen to anything he says about her, or Gena, or Laura.”

            “I wanted to kill him,” Jacob said.  “I wanted to punch his smug, lying, backstabbing face.  I wanted to hit him as hard as I could until he admitted he was a motherfucking two-faced liar.”

            “I’m glad that you didn’t,” Brian said.  “That never would have solved anything.  These are the hands of a musician, a guitarist, not a fighter.”

            “I hate him,” Jacob said.

            “You love him,” Brian said.

            “I hate him,” Jacob repeated.

            “You need him,” Brian said.

            Howie gently ran his hand over a bruise.  “Do your ribs hurt?”

            “I’m okay,” Erik said.  “It was just a stupid fight.  I don’t look too jacked up, do I?”

            “No,” JC assured him, kissing his cheek.

            “I’d hate to see how Trevor looks,” Howie said, taking Erik’s hand and examining it.  He kissed Erik’s bruised knuckles.  “You don’t have to tell us what happened, but we’d like to know.”

            “Things have to be pretty bad if you’re fighting,” JC said.  He was lounging against Erik’s right side, Howie against Erik’s left side, each of them leaning into Erik comfortably.  “You said that it’s been getting worse.”

            “They’re pissed at me because I said I fucked their girlfriends,” Erik said.  “I’m pissed at them for thinking that I’m an immature irresponsible screw-up who’s been fucking up their shit and lying about it.”

            “Honey…”  JC hesitated.  “You haven’t been staying there, have you?”

            “No,” Erik admitted.

            “Then where have you been staying?” Howie asked.  Erik had to have been sleeping somewhere; he’d been showering and changing clothes in between visits.

            “At the Florida Grace Palace,” Erik said.  “I left the house without clothes or anything, so I had to do some shopping.”

            “You’ve been living in a hotel?” JC asked.

            “It’s only been a couple of days,” Erik said.  “We live in hotels on tour, I’m fine.”

            “You have to go home,” Howie said.  “There’s more at stake here than where you sleep at night.  They’re not just your roommates, they’re your best friends, they’re your group.  The five of you have to stay together.  You’re a unit.”

            “I went home today,” Erik said.  “I got yelled at, cursed out, and slammed down onto a fucking coffee table.”

            “This is our fault,” JC told Howie.  “We made him lie for us, and now the whole band’s coming apart.”

            “No,” Erik said.  “That’s just one thing in a long line.  This is about them not trusting me, this is about Trevor accusing me of shit I didn’t do, this is about them thinking I’m a fuck-up.  I’m not their fucking scapegoat.”

            “I’m sorry,” Howie said, and kissed him gently.  “We’ll talk about this in the morning.  We’ll figure out something.”

            “All groups go through rough spots,” JC said.

            “How did all of you manage to stay together so long?” Erik asked, looking at both of them.

            “We love each other,” Howie said.

            “We’re best friends,” JC said.

            “We’re brothers,” Howie said.

            “Once that bond is there, nothing can break it,” JC said.

            “Nothing,” Howie agreed.

            “If Joey came up to you and told you that he’d fucked your…boyfriend, would you believe him?” Erik asked JC.

            “Joey would never do that to me,” JC said.

            “But what if he said he had?” Erik asked.

            JC paused, caressing Erik’s stomach and thinking about it.  “I’d have to believe him, because he wouldn’t lie about something like that.”  Howie watched internal conflict alter JC’s expression; JC was putting himself in Erik’s friends’ shoes, trying to answer the question honestly.  “I’d be furious with him, and I wouldn’t understand why he’d do that.  Joey would never intentionally hurt me that badly.  But we’d get over it.”  He came back to the moment with a sad, loving smile.  “We get over everything.”

            “What if AJ said he’d fucked your boyfriend?” Erik asked Howie.

            Howie thought about it for a minute, debating how honest to be.  “I’d be angry, but I’d forgive him.  Anyone who’d betray me with my best friend wasn’t right for me in the first place.  They’d both be equally responsible for it, but boyfriends are expendable.  AJ’s not.  I’d forgive him because I’d have to.  If I stayed mad at him, the group would suffer for it.  We know better than to let that happen.”

            “So you can do anything that you want to each other, because you know you have to forgive each other for it?” Erik asked.

            “That’s one way of looking at it,” Howie said.  “But we’ve learned to respect each other and trust each other enough to stay honest.  Group peace is a very strong thing and a very fragile thing at the same time.  One betrayal can break it.  We do everything we can not to risk that.”

            “So they should forgive me,” Erik said.

            “And you should forgive them,” Howie said.

            Erik hadn’t thought of that.  “Fuck.”

            AJ and Nick were in AJ’s hot tub, soaking naked by candlelight.

            “Who’s a better lay?” AJ asked.  “JC or Ashley?”

            Nick shrugged, stretching out his arms along the rim of the tub.  “They’re different.  JC has a lot more experience and a lot more technique.  He knows what he’s doing and he’s good at it.  Ashley just has a lot of energy and a lot of enthusiasm.  But he’s learning fast.”

            “I couldn’t do them,” AJ said.  “Ashley would start begging for someone to come and rescue him two minutes into it, and JC would get offended if I left any marks on his precious body.”

            “JC loves being marked,” Nick said.  “You just have to do it right.”  He shifted comfortably, stretching his legs.  “You love marking everybody so much, I don’t know what you did with Fatone.  He’s a bitch to bruise.”

            “He’s hard to hurt,” AJ said.  “I need that.”

            “What about Timberlake?” Nick asked.

            “He bruises like a motherfucker, so I have to be careful as hell, since he parades his naked ass in front of Dan all of the time.  But he never bitches about getting hurt.”

            “I guess if he’s used to getting whipped, not much would bother him,” Nick said.  His eyes closed as he relaxed.  “I’d rather fuck him than Fatone.  He’s a crybaby bitch but he’s not ugly.”

            “I was looking at him today,” AJ said.  “That little red mouth of his isn’t bad.”

            Nick smirked, opening his eyes.  “You’re slipping.”

            AJ raised his eyebrows, challenging Nick to explain that to his satisfaction.

            “You can’t afford to risk falling for Timberlake and his mouth,” Nick said.  “You already have a hard-on for Dan.”

            “Dan’s a natural,” AJ said.  “Even Joey had to be trained.  No one’s ever responded to me like that.”

            “Besides Joey and Dan, which one from each group would you fuck?” Nick asked.

            “Jacob’s a fighter, but he’s a bitch,” AJ said.  “Trevor’s a crier.  Ashley’s a seven-year-old girl.  Who’s that leave me with, Erik?”

            “He wouldn’t know what to do,” Nick said.

            “Other than Joey…  Not JC, not Justin…  I wouldn’t mind teaching Lance how to take it like a man.”

            Nick snickered.

            “What about you?” AJ asked.  “Who would you fuck besides JC and Ashley?”

            “Justin,” Nick said.  “And…  Shit...  Hell, I don’t know, maybe Jacob, if I could cut that dying animal off of his head.”

            “I don’t know how Brian puts up with him,” AJ said.  “He draws out the game better than anybody.  I would’ve nailed that asshole’s balls to the wall already.”

            “Joey has to deal with Ashley more than I do,” Nick said.  “He has to cuddle up and play nice.  I get to come in, get off, and leave.  It’s not that bad.  He’s one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever fucked.”

            AJ laughed.  “He is damned pretty,” he admitted.

            “He’s one of the nicest, sweetest, most innocent people I’ve met in a long time.  Kevin would break him in ten seconds or less,” Nick said.

            AJ laughed.  “Brian would have him so confused he wouldn’t know which way was up.”

            “What do you think Howie would do to him?” Nick asked.

            “Howie,” AJ mused, raising his knees and bracing his feet against Nick’s thigh.  “D. likes to strike hard early on and then play it slow and steady for a while.  He’d probably have Ashley practically moved in by now.  He’d be meeting Ashley’s parents and talking about being soulmates.”

            “Ashley licks that shit up,” Nick said.  He laughed.  “He licks up pretty much everything I offer him.”

            AJ smirked.

            “So what comes after parents and soulmates?” Nick asked.

            “It’s Howie,” AJ said.  “Nothing’s simple with Howie.  It all depends on who he’s dealing with, and how their relationship’s developed.  If Ashley were lucky, he’d get the same treatment Lance got.”

            “Howie let him off way too easy,” Nick said.  “So fucking easy.  Howie could’ve fucked him up so much worse.”

            “You barely did anything to JC,” AJ said.

            “You barely touched Joey,” Nick retorted.

            “I know,” AJ said.  He sounded slightly bitter, disgusted with himself.  “Justin and Chris should be locked up in a psych ward somewhere, and we just let Joey and JC coast.”

            “I liked fucking him too much,” Nick said.  “I didn’t put him through hell like I should have.  If I could go back and change things, he’d be in for one hell of a ride.”

            “I got lazy,” AJ said.  “There’s no excuse for it.”

            “I’m staying focused this time,” Nick said.  He rubbed his hand over the tops of AJ’s feet, resting his hand on AJ’s ankles.  “No one’s getting off easy anymore.”

            Morning.

            Justin eased out of Dan’s embrace, getting up and going into the bathroom.  After taking a piss, he leaned against the sink, thinking.  Automatically keeping his head lowered so that he wouldn’t catch sight of himself in the mirror, he thought about his options.

            He wanted to help Dan.  He was Dan’s friend - - no, he was pretending to be Dan’s friend, but either way, in the role of Dan’s friend, he should help Dan.  Helping Dan meant encouraging Dan to get back with the other guys.  He’d take Dan home, and Dan would talk to whoever was there or call someone to meet him there, and things would get resolved.

            Except, maybe that wouldn’t work with the overall plans.  They were supposed to be bringing O-Town down, and they should take advantage of the moment.  The group wasn’t broken up, they were just having a fight, but it was still a good time to seize the opportunity.

            Justin personally wasn’t doing anything destructive to Dan, besides taking up all of Dan’s time and energy, but he was supposed to be working with AJ.  If AJ knew what was going on, he might want Justin to do something else.

            Justin didn’t care what AJ thought or what AJ wanted.  He didn’t care about AJ.  So what if AJ got pissed off?  What was AJ going to do, yell at him?  Hit him?  It wasn’t like-

            “Learn to obey.”

            Justin swallowed, gripping the sink as his knees weakened.

            “You’re going to think of AJ as me.  You never say no to me; you never say no to AJ.  You obey me; you obey him.  Is that clear?”

            “Kevin,” Justin whispered, closing his eyes, going down to the floor.

            “Do whatever AJ says.  Give him whatever he wants.”

            Justin’s forehead rested on his kneecap; his breathing was panicked.  He couldn’t do whatever he wanted.  He had to do what AJ wanted.  He couldn’t act on his own; AJ might not like what he decided to do.

“If AJ ever has to call me again, it’ll prove how little respect you have for any of us, and I’ll never speak to you again.  Do you understand me?”

            He’d already been disobedient.  He’d fought AJ, he’d bitched at AJ, they’d had problems.  And AJ hadn’t called Kevin in over any of that, so why would AJ call Kevin now?  Besides, what if AJ did?  The worst had already happened; Kevin had already stopped talking to him.

            But…  But what if he did obey AJ?  What if he obeyed, and deferred, and did what AJ wanted?  That was what Kevin wanted.  Doing what AJ wanted would be doing what Kevin wanted, and maybe if he did well enough, Kevin would like it.

            He’d been displeasing Kevin this whole time.  He’d been rude to AJ, he’d fought with AJ, he’d punched AJ.  He never would have done any of that with Kevin.

            Maybe that was why Kevin hated him.  Kevin had told him to treat AJ the way he’d treat Kevin, and he’d punched AJ.  That amounted to hitting Kevin!

            No wonder Kevin didn’t want to see him.

            He’d do better.  He’d learn to obey.  He’d be good for Kevin.  He’d be so good and so obedient that Kevin would have to notice.

            Justin got up to find a phone.

            Jacob’s eyes opened slowly, blinking to clear away deep sleep as Brian’s hand brushed his hair back from his face.  “What?” Jacob asked.

            “Good morning,” Brian said with quiet encouragement.  “Get up, there’s something I want to show you.”

            Justin sat on his side of the bed and rubbed Dan’s shoulder.  “Hey.”

            “Rrnn.”  Blue eyes opened.  “Juthtin?”

            “Hey,” Justin said.  “I’m taking you home.”

            Slow, mmm, wet, hey, kissing…yeah…  Erik slid his hand over…Howie’s?  Yes, definitely Howie’s back and matched the slow, easy pace of the kiss.  He couldn’t believe that it was possible to wake up this way.

            “Erik-Michael.”  Howie’s touch was arousing but his eyes were serious.  “It’s time to go home.”

             Trevor was rudely jolted from sleep when the covers were ripped away from him and a pillow soundly smacked him over the head.  “Get up,” Chris said.  “You’re going home.  Come on,” he said, and began to drag Trevor off of the bed.  “Stop swearing at me, that’s not going to help.”

            It registered with Joey’s brain that there was no warm solid presence against his body.  That bothered him, so he opened his eyes.

            Ashley was sitting on the bed, half-dressed, turning his phone in his hands, deep in thought.

            “Pretty?” Joey asked, pushing himself up onto one elbow and putting a hand on Ashley’s knee.  “What’s wrong?”

            “I have to go home,” Ashley said, and turned his head to meet Joey’s gaze.  His eyes were vulnerable.  Nervous.  “Come with me?”

            While soft music played, Jacob lay back on the cushions on the floor.  With the curtains drawn, the only light in Brian’s sanctuary came from the flicker of nearby candles.  Jacob breathed deeply, relaxing into a near-meditative state as Brian massaged his feet.

            “We’ll just go,” Justin said, pouring cereal.  “When we get there, you can just start with whoever’s there.  I think that if someone’s already there, it means he’s ready to talk, too.  If nobody’s home, you call Jacob.”

            Dan scratched his jaw.  There was a tiredness in his eyes that had nothing to do with sleep.  “You don’t have to come with me.  There won’t be much for you to do, and you don’t want to listen to us argue.”

            “I’m going with you,” Justin said, setting a bowl in front of him.  “I want to help, and I want you to know that I’m there for you.  If that means listening to you argue, then I’ll listen.  If you want me out of the way, I’ll sit in your bedroom and fold your socks.”

            When Dan met Justin’s eyes, he mustered a smile.  “My socks are already folded.”

            “What else is there to do in your room?” Justin asked.  “You got any porn in there?”

            “They hate me,” Erik said, leaning against the counter and watching JC shave.  “They spent all damned day telling me how much they hate me.”

            “Honey, they’re just feeling betrayed,” JC said.  “You have to face them, and it’s better to go back now.  You could hide out here for a couple of days, a couple of weeks, but what good would that do?”

            “It’d give them time to calm down,” Erik said.

            “It would give them time to let the resentment build, and it would give you time to worry about facing them again,” JC said.

            “Are you really going back with me?” Erik asked.  “You don’t have to.”

            “We won’t stay if you don’t want us to,” JC said.

            “If we’re not…having sex…then how am I supposed to explain that I’m hanging out with you again?” Erik asked.

            “We’re friends,” JC said.  “They kicked you out of the house, you felt like you were losing your friends, you called me.  Howie and I would never abandon a friend in need.”  JC checked his face in the mirror, then looked at Erik.  “Smooth?”

            Erik brushed the backs of his fingers over JC’s cheek, then kissed it.  “Perfect.”

            “I’m not talking to him again,” Trevor said.

            “Great,” Chris said, pulling on his shirt.

            “If he even shows his face anywhere near me, I have two fists, ready and waiting.”

            “Great,” Chris said, sitting down to put on his socks.

            “I’ll talk to the other guys, I’ll apologize to them, the four of us can get everything straight.  But I’m not talking to him unless he’s on his knees begging for forgiveness.”

            “Great,” Chris said, reaching for his shoes.

            “This is stupid,” Ashley said, turning at Joey’s front door.  “You don’t have to come with me.”

            “I know what it’s like,” Joey said.  “I know that this is between the five of you, and you have to work it out on your own.  But I don’t like seeing you upset.  I’ll just come with you, check things out, see how it’s going.  If you want to me to stay with you, if you want me to go, if you want to come with me, it’ll go however you want it.”  He caught Ashley’s smile.  “What?”

            “It’s just…  No one’s ever understood before,” Ashley said.  “You know how being in a group works, what it’s like.  No one’s ever understood it before.  No one’s ever…respected it.”  Ashley’s smile was open and grateful.  “Thank you, Joey.”

            “You’re welcome, pretty.”  He kissed Ashley’s cheek.  “Let’s go take care of this.”

             Brian held both of Jacob’s hands in his, looking deeply into Jacob’s eyes, absorbing all of Jacob’s concentration.

            “I love you,” Brian said.  “I know how strong you are.  I know how committed you are.  I know how focused you are.  I know what a fierce, fighting, independent spirit you have.  And I know what a generous, loyal, forgiving spirit you have.  You are a man of integrity, a man of righteousness, a man of love.  When someone has earned your respect, he has it for all time.  When someone has earned your love, he has your love forever.”

            Brian tightened his grip incrementally, keeping Jacob’s focus.  “You love Erik.  You respect Erik.  You have lived alongside him, worked alongside him, slept and ate and sang with him.  You know who he is, and you found reason to claim him as your best friend, as your brother.”

            Jacob’s nails were smooth with polish under Brian’s fingers.

            “Once you’ve turned Erik away, you will not get him back,” Brian said.  “You’re very decisive, Jacob, but that’s not a decision you can make rashly.  You have to think about it.  Have you been praying about it?”

            Jacob nodded.  “Yeah.”

            Brian threaded his fingers through Jacob’s.  “Do you know what you need to do?”

            Jacob took a slow breath.  “Yes.”

            “All right.”  Brian softened his voice.  “I know that you’ll do the right thing.”

            Jacob closed his eyes, exhaling.  “This has been rough.”

            “You’re making it through,” Brian said.  “You’re making it, and you’re bringing them through it, too.”  He rubbed Jacob’s knuckles.  “How do you feel?”

            Jacob opened his eyes, smiling.  “Well, my feet feel great.”

            Brian laughed.  “Did it help you relax?”

            “It did,” Jacob said.  “I’ve been so stressed…  I was so wrapped up in the anger, I couldn’t find my center anymore.  I needed that.”

            “I just want to help,” Brian said.

            “Thanks,” Jacob said.  “I couldn’t have gotten through this without you,” he added, as they moved into a shared hug.  “Thank you.”  Brian’s embrace tightened.  “I love you,” Jacob said.

            “You’ll do the right thing,” Brian said.  “I know you will.”

            At Justin’s front door, Dan looked down at the keys in his hand.

            “I know you’re not stalling,” Justin said.

            “We were in a truck stop in Dallas,” Dan said.  “Trevor had promised his family he’d bring them souvenirs, but he hadn’t gotten anything yet, so he was getting desperate.  He saw keychains, and he started picking some out for his sisters.  Erik had broken his keychain the day before, someone had stepped on it or something, so he started to look for one for himself.  They had cheap little things, initials, and Ashley said that if Erik got an E then he’d get an A so they could match.”

            Justin looked at Dan’s keychain.  He’d seen it before, and he’d noticed the dull golden N.  He’d wondered why Dan would have an N, but Joey’s keychain had a woodpecker, so he’d accepted it without much thought.

            “I decided to get an O, for O-Town.  Then everybody wanted an O.  Then I said that if we were all getting one, we should each get a different letter.”  Dan glanced at Justin and smiled.  “We made a couple *NSYNC jokes.”

            Justin smiled back.  “That’s okay.  We make O-Town jokes.”

            Dan shoved him gently.  “We stood there arguing over who should get which letter.  We gave Jacob the first O because he’s the leader, striding out there ahead of the rest of us.  Erik got the T, because if Trevor got the T it would look like it stood for Trevor, and he wanted it clear that it was an O-Town symbol, a group thing, not a personal one.  Ashley got the O in the middle, because he’s the perfect center.  Trevor got the W, because he wanted to hold down the back end with me.  And I got the N.  I came last, the final piece.”

            Dan’s thumb rubbed over the dull metal.  Justin grinned.  “That’s a beautiful story.”

            When Dan looked at Justin again, the motivation, determination, and life force were back in his eyes.  His smile was happy and affectionate.  “Thanks.”

            “Is that it?” JC asked, dropping a pair of socks into the bag on Erik’s hotel bed.  They were packing up the few items he’d accumulated, so that he could check out and go home.

            “The bathroom’s empty,” Howie said, stepping out and turning off the light.

            “You really don’t have to come with me,” Erik told them.  “It’s just going to be a bunch of messy scenes.  It’s going to be really stupid and embarrassing.”

            “We want to be there,” JC said, coming around the bottom of the bed.  “We want you to know that we’re supporting you.”

            Erik had turned to face JC; now Howie’s hands turned him back around.  JC moved in from behind, arms wrapping firmly around his shoulders, chest pressed to his back.  Effectively held in place, Erik stayed still as Howie rested steady hands on his hips and planted a kiss on his lips.

            “You know what your priorities are,” Howie said.  His gaze drew Erik in.  “You know what’s important to you.  You’ve put us first, Erik-Michael, and we will do the same for you.”

            “We promise,” JC whispered, and soft lips left softer kisses on his cheek.

            “But your second priority, right next in line, has to be the band,” Howie said.  His dark-eyed gaze was captivating, and his hands slid up a few inches as JC shifted closer, JC’s body fitting more comfortably, more intimately, against Erik’s.  “They need your time, your energy, your attention.  O-Town is a group, and you’re an equal fifth.  There has to be balance.  All five of you are equal, and all five of you are vital.  They’re no more important to the group than you are,” Howie’s grip tightened for emphasis, “but you’re no more important to the group than they are.  You cannot put your ego above the good of the group.  If you have to be humble, if you have to swallow your pride, then that’s what you have to do.”

            Erik swallowed.

            “Keep the good of the group in mind.  What’s going to be best for group peace?  What’s going to achieve group balance?  Group harmony is just as important as vocal harmony.  It takes some self-sacrifice sometimes, on everyone’s part.  If you want this career, if you want this life, if you want this band, then you have to commit to it.  You have to step up to the plate when it’s your turn.  You have to accept responsibility when it’s your turn.  And you have to forgive.”

            Forgive.  Erik turned the word over in his mind as JC’s cheek pressed to his.

            “It can be hard to forgive,” Howie said.  “But you’ve been with these guys for a long time now.  The five of you have been through a lot, that other people wouldn’t have been able to handle.  You’ve come this far, together.  Just think of each new problem as a minor step in a long journey.  This is another step.  You can’t let it be the last one.”

            Chris followed Trevor in his car.  They were halfway there when his phone rang.  “Kirkpatrick.”

            “I know you’re right,” Trevor said.

            “Thanks,” Chris said.  “It’s good to be appreciated.”

            “He’s being a complete and total fucking asshole, but that doesn’t mean that I have to be an asshole, too.”

            “Life’s weird that way,” Chris said.

            “I’m going to try to be a man and make sure this ends up right,” Trevor said.  “I’m willing to work it out.”

            “Good,” Chris said.  “Admitting that you have a problem is the first step.”

            “Thanks for making me do the right thing,” Trevor said.

            “You’re welcome,” Chris said.

            “And thanks for last night,” Trevor said, his tone turning flirtatious.  “I had a great time.  Your ass is amazing.”

            Chris laughed.

            “Guys?” Ashley called up the stairs.

            “Maybe Jacob’s back in his room,” Joey suggested.

            “No,” Ashley said, turning.  “His car’s not here.”  He sighed, putting his hands in his pockets.  “Damn it.  I thought that somebody would be here.  I was so sure that somebody else would want to work this out.  I thought that at least Dan would be around.”

            “Then you should call him,” Joey said.  “Call all of them, call a group meeting.”

            “I don’t know,” Ashley said, leaning back against the wall.  “Yesterday was so bad…  Maybe we all need time to cool off.”  Gaze dropping to the floor, Ashley looked disappointed, defeated.  His hope and his trust in his friends had been damaged.

            “Come on,” Joey urged, tipping his chin up.  “Call Dan.”  Joey’s thumb rubbed beside Ashley’s mouth.  “He’s probably at Justin’s house.  We can go over there and talk to him.  Okay?”

            “Yeah,” Ashley said, sighing but already beginning to look hopeful again.  “Okay.  We can try that.”

            “Yeah?” Joey asked, grinning.  “Come on, smile for me.  Show me those pretty teeth.”

            Ashley gave in, gracing Joey with a smile.  Joey kissed him and he laughed.

            Just then, the front door opened.  “Hey,” Trevor said.

            “Trevor likes your truck,” Chris told Joey, coming in behind Trevor and closing the door.

            “Thanks,” Joey said.

            “I was hoping somebody would be here,” Trevor said to Ashley.  “We have to talk about…everything.  We’ve been fucking up, I’ve been fucking up, and-”

            “No, it’s not you,” Ashley said.  “But that’s why I came home, to talk about everything.”

            “I have to apologize,” Trevor said.  “To everybody, to you guys and to Erik.  I’ve been just attacking, going on the offensive.  The situation was already fucked up and I went ahead and made it worse.”

            “We’ve all been upset,” Ashley said.  “I was furious, I felt so, I felt so betrayed, I was so confused, we all are.”

            “You have the right,” Trevor said.  “The three of you, you have the right.  I was stepping in-”

            “You have the right, too,” Ashley said.  “Your girlfriend wasn’t involved, but whenever there’s anything that affects four of us this much, it affects everybody.”

            “This is adorable,” Chris said to Joey.  “They’re so earnest.”

            “Go find something shiny to look at,” Trevor said.

            Chris studied the ceiling, searching.

            “We should get the guys together,” Ashley said.  “We have to talk to Dan and Jacob, but I don’t want to have a meeting behind Erik’s back, so maybe we should all get together and talk it out.”

            Chris took a silver hoop from his own ear and held it to the light, testing its shine.  “How’s this?” he asked Trevor.

            Trevor tossed Chris his car keys.  “Try that.”

            “Hey, thanks,” Chris said, and began to toy with them.

            “Let’s try Dan first,” Trevor said.  “I don’t know about Jacob, he walked out like he was fucking done.”

            “You turned around,” Ashley said.  “Jacob will, too.”

            “Hey, hey, hey.”  Dan came in the front door, followed by Justin.  “I hope you’re in here making peace.”

            “We were just about to call you,” Trevor said with a brief hug.

            “Hi,” Justin said, walking over to stand by Chris and Joey.

            “Hi,” Joey said.

            “Hi,” Chris said.  He was inspecting everything on Trevor’s keychain, even though he was already familiar with all of it.  Justin caught sight of a dulled golden W and smiled.

            “How do you feel about everything?” Dan asked Ashley.

            “I want to get past this,” Ashley said.  “I can’t even tell what we’re fighting about anymore.  It’s about what Erik said, but there’s more, it started before that.”

            “It started between Erik and me,” Trevor said.  “That’s our fault, that’s my fault, and it got out of control.”

            “We don’t even know if Erik’s telling the truth,” Ashley said.

            “Why would he lie?” Trevor asked.

            “I don’t know,” Dan said, as the door opened again.

            “They’re all flocking home,” Justin said.

            “They were equipped with a homing device,” Chris said.

            “What’s everybody doing here?” Jacob asked.

            Chris dropped Trevor’s keys to the floor and hastily put his earring back in.

            “Good morning,” Brian said with a smile, closing the door.

            “I’m so glad you’re here,” Ashley told Jacob.  “When you left yesterday-”

            “I know,” Jacob said.  “I was mad, I let my anger get the best of me.  I’m sorry about everything I said.”

            “It’s okay,” Ashley said.

            Justin and Joey were edging closer to Chris, flanking him protectively.

            “I don’t think that we should do this without Erik here,” Dan said.  “I don’t want him to think that we’re meeting behind his back.”

            “Are we ready to do this with him?” Trevor asked.  “Maybe we should make sure that we all want the same thing.”

            “I just want everything to be okay again,” Ashley said.

            “That’s nice, Ash, but what does that mean?” Jacob asked.  “When was the last time things were really okay?”

            “Is there a good reason he just looked at us?” Joey whispered to Justin.

            “We’ve all been distracted,” Dan said, with emphasis on the “all.”  “That’s one of the things we have to talk about.”

            ‘That’s one of the things we have been talking about,” Jacob said.  “Nothing’s getting better.”

            “Did this conversation go downhill the second he entered it, or is it just me?” Justin whispered to Joey.

            “You have a good point, and you’re right, but that just means that we have to work on it more,” Dan said.  “After our last meeting we walked away and didn’t even try to follow through on what we said.”

            “We didn’t even decide anything last time,” Jacob said.  “We didn’t resolve any of the shit that’s been wrong.”

            “We don’t agree on what’s wrong,” Trevor said.

            The door opened.

            “Three guesses,” Joey whispered.

            “First two don’t count,” Justin whispered.

            Erik walked into the house, Howie close on his heels, JC bringing up the rear.  For a moment everything was still.  While everyone’s attention was diverted, Chris stared hungrily at Brian.

            “So,” Jacob said.

            Justin and Joey shared a “this can’t be good” look.

            Erik bristled.

            “These would be the people you said you weren’t actually fucking, after all,” Jacob said.

            Justin blinked.  Whoa.  Jacob struck hard and fast, right for the jugular.

            “Their names are Howie and JC, and they’ve forgiven me for lying about them,” Erik said.  “It’s good to see you here with the guy you sleep with every single fucking night but never touch.”

Jacob was furious.  “Most of the time when people lie about their sexuality, it’s so they’ll seem straight.  Only you’d be such a fuck-up you’d get even that wrong.”

            “Only you’d be such a fucking hypocrite!” Erik shouted.  “You’re with Brian every second of every day, he sleeps in your bed, I don’t know how the hell that’s different from what Chris and Trevor are doing.  Especially since we all know he’s fucking you!”

            “If Jacob says it’s not happening, then it’s not happening,” Dan said.  “I trust him to tell us the truth.  Jacob and Brian are friends.”  Dan glanced at Brian.  “Sorry.”

            “Don’t apologize for me,” Erik snapped.

            “Someone has to!” Jacob shouted.

            “You’re fucking him!” Erik shouted.

            “You’re fucking them!” Jacob shouted.

            “Who cares?!” Trevor demanded.  “I’m fucking Chris, do you want to start yelling about that?”

            Justin turned his snicker into a cough.

            “Shit,” Trevor said.  “Sorry,” he told Chris.

            “Hey, at least one of you is getting laid,” Chris said.  “I was starting to get worried.”

            “I think Ashley’s making up for the rest of us,” Erik said.

            “Hey,” Dan said sharply.  “That’s not where this is going.  We’re here to work things out, not to relive yesterday.”

            “You don’t want to do this in front of all of us,” Brian said.  “I know that we all feel like we have a vested interest in what happens here, but we should get out of your way.  Jacob, would you mind if Howie and I talked in your room?”

            “No,” Jacob said.  “Go ahead.”

            Brian stepped in closer and murmured, “Remember what we talked about.  I know you can do this.  I believe in you.”

            “Wait for me?” Howie asked JC.

            “Of course,” JC said.

            Howie kissed JC’s mouth and turned to Erik.  Putting a hand on Erik’s shoulder, he leaned in and whispered something in Erik’s ear.  Erik nodded a few times, and Howie stepped back.

            Brian walked around O-Town; he and Howie were about to pass the assembled members of *NSYNC when Brian paused and asked Joey, “Where’s Nick?”

            Howie’s gaze slid left and stopped on Ashley.

            Joey blanked momentarily.  “At home,” he said.

            “Okay,” Brian said, and glanced at Ashley.

            “I was about to call him,” Howie said to Joey.  “Would you like me to tell him that you’ll be busy all morning?”

            “Uh, no,” Joey said quickly.  “I’ll call him myself.”

            “All right,” Brian said.  With final glances at Ashley, he and Howie left.

            Ashley was bright red.

            “We should probably make ourselves scarce, too,” Justin said.

            Joey elbowed Chris.

            Chris coughed, coming back to the moment.  “Upstairs,” he said.  “We can wait upstairs.  In Trevor’s room.”

            “No way,” Trevor said.  “No offense,” he added quickly, looking from JC to Justin to Joey.  “It’s just - - you can’t put *NSYNC in my room,” he told Chris.  “It’s not even clean!”

            “Is it any worse than a bus Joey’s been on for more than fifteen minutes?” Justin asked Chris.

            “No,” Chris said.

            “It’ll be fine,” Justin told Trevor.

            “Everybody follow me,” Chris said.  “Good luck,” he told O-Town.

            “Group harmony,” JC said to Erik in passing.

            “I’ll be waiting for you,” Joey said, giving Ashley a quick kiss.

            Justin squeezed Dan’s hand twice.

            “Be nice,” Chris called, and led the way upstairs.

            Ashley, Dan, Erik, Jacob, and Trevor looked at each other.

            “There are Backstreet Boys in my house,” Trevor said.  “*NSYNC is in my bedroom.  And I can’t even enjoy it the way I should because I’m so pissed off!”

            “You started this,” Erik said.

            “You started it!” Trevor protested.  “You-”

            “We can’t argue about who started it,” Dan said.  “At one point or another, we all started it.  What we’re here to figure out is how to end it.”

            “This,” Chris said, opening a door and ushering everyone inside, “is the upstairs bathroom.”

            “Four guys and one bathroom?” Justin asked.  “What is this, a frat house?”

            “There’s another bathroom at the end of the hall,” Chris said.  “During one of their first parties, something so disgusting happened in there that they all refuse to use it.”

            “Sounds scandalous,” Joey said.

            “Which stuff belongs to Ashley?” JC asked.

            “This section of the sink and this corner of the bathtub,” Chris said, and proceeded to point out what around the bathroom belonged to which person.  JC uncapped a few bottles, checking the contents for color and scent.

            “How did this happen?” Joey asked.  “How did they all show up here at the same time?”

            Justin and Chris exchanged glances.  “Why did you come here?” Justin asked.

            “Ashley said he wanted to come home,” Joey said.  “He asked me to come with him.”  He frowned.  “What?  Why are you here?”

            “I brought Trevor home because Kevin told me to,” Chris said.  “I called him this morning and he told me to take Trevor home.”

            “I wanted to bring Dan here because if I were a good friend, that’s what I’d do,” Justin said.  “I called AJ and told him what I wanted to do, and he told me to go ahead and do it.”

            “Howie told me that he wanted us to take Erik home,” JC said.

            “So this was their plan,” Joey said.

            “Don’t you check in with Nick?” Chris asked.

            “No,” Joey said.  “When I talk to him I tell him what’s going on, but I don’t call just to check in.  He’s not my baby-sitter.”

            “He’s your partner in this,” JC said.

            “Why would they want this?” Joey asked.  “If our plan is to rip O-Town apart, why are they trying to put them back together?”

            “They can’t suspect anything,” JC said.  “If we act like we want them to stay together, if we tell them to try to work out their problems, then they can’t blame us when the group starts to fall apart.  We can’t let it even cross their minds that we want them separated until it’s too late.”

            Howie studied the bed.  “He doesn’t actually have lice, does he?”

            “No,” Brian said.  “He’s actually very clean.”

            “Yeah?” Howie asked, taking a seat on the bed.  He stretched out on his back, crossing his ankles.  “What does he smell like?”

            Brian lay down beside him.  “Mint and powder.  Soft, light scents.”  Brian slid his fingers over the back of Howie’s hand.  “How’s it going?”

            Howie turned his hand, offering Brian his palm.  “I’m getting laid a lot.”

            “That sounds nice.”

            “I’ve had better.”         

            Brian smiled, tracing the lines crossing Howie’s palm with one fingertip.  “I know you have.”

            Howie smiled.  “How about you?  How’s Lance?”

            “I’m in love with him,” Brian said.  “You know that.”

            Howie gently closed his hand over Brian’s fingers.  “I haven’t told JC that I’m in love with him yet.  At least, not without Erik within earshot.  I’m not ready, and neither is he.”

            “You’re more patient than the rest of us,” Brian said.  “I can’t help pushing.”

            “Chris seemed happy to see you,” Howie said.  “If that’s how he looks when he’s happy.”

            “This is Ashley’s room?” Justin asked.

            “It’s almost subtle, after that ode to America also known as Erik’s room,” JC said.

“What the hell’s wrong with this place?” Justin asked.  “Who the hell decorated it?  These aren’t bedrooms, they’re miniature theme parks.”

“If you think that this is bad, you should see Jacob’s room,” Chris said.  “Don’t even ask me about the big giant squid.”

“I don’t want to know,” Joey said.

“How do you have sex in here?” Justin asked Joey.

“I can have sex anywhere,” Joey said.

“We have to redecorate this house,” JC said.

“We’re not supposed to be improving their quality of life,” Chris said.

“What about our quality of life?” Justin asked.  “We have to spend time here.”

“I won’t be able to have sex in Erik’s room,” JC said.  “And I can’t let Nick have sex in a Superman shrine.”

“For the record, the hideous bust was a gift from Joey,” Chris said.

Justin and JC stared at Joey.

“I like it,” Joey said.  “It’s classic.”

“Let’s move to another room,” Justin suggested.

Chris led the way into Trevor’s room.  “Maybe we should get them to redecorate.  I don’t want a giant octopus to watch Brian make love.”

“I thought you said it was a squid,” JC said.

“Anyone who’s having sex with Jacob has more problems than identifying squid,” Joey said.

JC and Joey sat on Trevor’s bed.  Justin began to investigate Trevor’s belongings.  Chris monitored Justin.

“Did you see that ring Howie was wearing?” JC asked.

“No,” Joey said.

“How’d you miss it?” Justin asked, opening dresser drawers.  “It’s blinding.”

“Didn’t Lance buy him a ring?” JC asked.

“Yeah,” Justin said.  “That’s the one.”  He rummaged through another drawer.

“Are you sure?” JC asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Justin said.  “He showed it to me before he gave it to Howie.  He was really serious about it, really emotional, and I remember telling him to calm down, it wasn’t like it was an engagement ring or anything, but he still looked, I don’t know, like he wanted to cry one minute, and scared shitless the next.  It kind of freaked me out.”

“That ring?” Joey asked.  “I went with him to pick it up.  I couldn’t believe he’d ordered something like that.  It was right on the border between really classy and totally vulgar.”  He grinned.  “I told him he should be giving it to me.”

            Justin closed a drawer, muttering to himself.

            “Did he give it to him for Christmas?” JC asked.

            “No, after that,” Joey said.

            “Some anniversary of something,” Justin said.

            “After Christmas?” JC asked.  “After Howie had already destroyed Lance’s relationship with his family?”

            “Yeah,” Justin said.

            “I told him it was fucked up,” Joey said.  His voice became quieter as he looked down.  “It didn’t make him stop.  It just made him stop talking to me about Howie.”

            Brian and Howie were sitting on Jacob’s bed, sharing a conference call with the other Boys.  “Then everything’s ready for the next phase?” Kevin asked.

            “Everything’s ready,” Brian said.

            “What about their little personal vendettas?” AJ asked.  “What are the chances of that being a problem?  Once Erik makes his big apology and everybody hugs and makes up, if that shit starts up again, the peace could be shot to hell.”

            “They’ve been feeling powerless,” Howie said.  “Now that they can act out against their weaker competition, they have an outlet for all of their pent-up rage.  They’re not going to want to stop.”

            “Can they keep it going, but manage to be, I don’t know, subtle?” Nick asked.

            “Can we trust them to be discreet?” Kevin asked.

            “That’s what I said,” Nick said.

            “They should be able to figure out that right now, we want O-Town to feel the peace,” AJ said.  “If they know that we want that, they’ll know better than to jeopardize it.”

            The five of them were sitting in the living room, three of them on the sofa, Trevor on the sofa arm, Erik on the armchair.  Words had been exchanged, insults hurled, accusations made.  Jacob had asked Erik if he was even sorry for anything that he’d done, and now they were waiting for an answer.

            Erik looked at their faces, the faces of people he’d called friends, people he’d considered family.  They didn’t trust him.  They thought badly of him, and when he said that he hadn’t done something, they didn’t believe him.  If they thought that he’d lie over something as stupid as a misplaced wallet, what else did they think about him?

            Howie and JC had told him to apologize.

            What if he told the truth?  What if he told them that he hadn’t slept with their girlfriends, that it had been a lie, that nothing had happened?  He could explain everything, and the guys would understand, and most of this bullshit would be over.

            But if he did that, he’d lose Howie and JC.

            The guys already thought that he was a complete asshole.  Why not just let them keep thinking that?  Except he hadn’t done anything, and they hated him for no reason.  They’d never trust him again, not like before.

            He didn’t know what to do.  Explain?  Apologize?

            “You have to lie to your friends,” JC said.

            “You know what your priorities are,” Howie said.  “You know what’s important to you.  You’ve put us first, Erik-Michael.”

            “You have to prove to Howie that you can choose us over them,” JC said.

“You cannot put your ego above the good of the group.  If you have to be humble, if you have to swallow your pride, then that’s what you have to do.”

“You have to make them believe you,” JC said.  “Really believe you.  This is a lie you can’t take back.”

“You have to accept responsibility when it’s your turn.  And you have to forgive.”

He’d already made his choices.

He had to forgive them.  He had to apologize to them.  He had to humble himself and beg for forgiveness for crimes he’d never committed.  He had to let them judge him, and he had to make them forgive him.

            “What are we going to do about our…personal revenge?” Justin asked.  “Should we stop, or do even more?”

            “If we keep going, it’ll ruin anything they decide today,” JC said.

            “If they make up today, and then the pranks start back up, they’ll never trust each other again,” Justin said.

            “Isn’t that the point?” Joey asked.

            “I don’t know,” JC said.  “Let’s keep it small and simple right now.  We can do it, but it has to be something they can’t even necessarily attribute directly to a person.”

            “Accidents,” Chris said.

            “So they can’t blame Erik for it,” Justin said.  “They can’t even be mad at anyone.  Accidents happen.”

            “We’ll have to think creatively,” JC said.

            “We shouldn’t do anything right away,” Justin said.  “We should give them a short break while things are calming down again.”  He looked into Trevor’s closet.  “But, once we get started again, what do you want to do?”

            Brian’s busy social life didn’t allow him a lot of time to sleep, so he’d left the conference call to take a nap.  Nick and AJ had hung up to get back to what they’d been doing before the call.  Howie and Kevin were discussing the next phase of their plan.

            “I can take care of Erik and JC,” Howie said.  “You can take care of Chris and Trevor.  Brian can handle Jacob.”

            “AJ can handle Justin,” Kevin said.  Justin calling AJ to ask for permission to take Dan home had been a good sign.  AJ was giving Justin a lot of freedom, but Justin knew better than to act entirely on his own.

            “That leaves Ashley,” Howie said.  “Nick’s going to have to get Joey to do what he wants.”

            “Joey doesn’t respect Nick’s authority,” Kevin said.  “He’s going to try to do what he wants and disregard what Nick tells him.”

            “Do you want to talk to Nick, or let him work it out?” Howie asked.

            Kevin wasn’t stupid enough to underestimate Nick.  If Joey was, that was Joey’s problem.  “He’ll be fine.”

            “We don’t give Nick enough credit,” Howie said.  “JC’s a lot more damaged than we realized.  I’ve seen the effect that Nick has on him.”

            “JC is a mature, dedicated professional,” Kevin said.  “Nick’s young and undisciplined.  JC would never have allowed anyone like that to get to him.”

            “But he did let Nick get to him, and he can’t get over it,” Howie said.  “He’s been crippled by it.  And he’s fighting with himself every day.  Should he trust again, can he love again, is he being tricked again, is he being trapped again, is he being paranoid.  He’s going through the same struggle that Lance is.  They’re both trying to recreate the greatest love of their lives, without going through the pain again.”

            “There is no love without pain,” Kevin said.  “The greatest love comes with the greatest pain.”

            “Can we put aside sex?” Dan asked, frustrated.

            “No!” Jacob said.  “Sex is the point!”

            “Sex isn’t the point,” Dan said.  “I’m barely having any sex at all, and I’m out of the house just as much as anyone else, maybe more.  You’re not having sex with Brian, but he takes up as much of your time as Chris takes up Trevor’s.”

            “I’m here more than anybody else,” Trevor said.  “Chris is here more than some of you.”

            “We don’t rehearse anymore,” Dan said.  “We don’t sing together anymore.  The second we got back from promoting we took off in five different directions.”

            “You don’t even live here anymore,” Jacob said.

            “I live here,” Dan said firmly.  “We can sit here and talk all day about how we need to get focused and committed, but it might not mean anything.  We have to do it.  We have to live it.”

            “I don’t know how they do it,” Erik said.

            “How who does what?” Ashley asked.  Now that Erik had apologized and asked for their forgiveness, Ashley was sitting close beside him, hip to hip.

            “Backstreet, *NSYNC,” Erik said.  “Year after year, they keep it up, they do it all, working and touring and sticking together.”

            “It takes commitment,” Trevor said.

            “It takes a bond,” Ashley said.

            “It takes hard work,” Dan said.

            “Howie was telling me how they have to put the group first.  They have to be able to forgive each other everything.”  Erik looked at his hands.  “They put the group harmony above their own pride.”

            “Hey,” Dan said.  “We have a great resource right here in the house.  We’re working on how to make this happen, and we have the experts right here.  If anybody knows how to keep a group together and make the friendship last, it’s them.”

            “What, you want us to ask them for tips?” Ashley asked.

            “Why not?” Dan asked.  “The Backstreet Boys already put out their third album, they’ve been together for years-”

            “Nine, almost ten years,” Trevor said.  “And it was their fourth album.”

            “We can pick their brains,” Dan said.  “Ask them how they do it.”

            “We can’t just interrogate them,” Trevor said.

            “Why not?” Jacob asked.

            “JC’s been in the business longer than any of us,” Erik said.  “He has to be able to tell us something about how to make it.”

            “Go ask Brian and Howie if they’ll answer a few questions,” Dan told Jacob.  “I’ll go ask everybody upstairs.”

            “Fourth album?” Ashley asked Trevor.

            “He’s counting the first U.S. album as two European albums,” Jacob said.  “When they released - - never mind.”  He left the room.

            “Since when is he the Backstreet expert?” Erik asked.

            “Since he fell in love with Brian,” Ashley said.

            Dan rose to go upstairs; Trevor stood with him.  “You coming?” Dan asked.

            “*NSYNC is in my bedroom,” Trevor said.  “I have to see what that looks like.”

            Jacob walked around the pool and stepped into the open doorway to his room.  Brian was asleep, Howie sitting beside him on the bed talking on the phone.  Spotting Jacob, Howie hung up and rubbed Brian’s stomach.  “Brian.”

            With a slight head shake to rid himself of sleep, Brian sat up, checking the time.  “Hey,” he said, giving Jacob a welcoming smile.

            There was no way for Jacob to describe the disturbance that twisted through him in response to the sight of Howie’s hand on Brian’s body.  The familiarity.  He couldn’t put his finger on it, but it seemed off.  It should have looked like easy affection, but there was something about the way that Howie’s touch…lingered…

            “We were hoping that the two of you would come out and talk to us,” Jacob said.  “Share a few of your secrets to success.”

            “I don’t think that we have any secrets,” Brian said, giving Howie an amused glance.  “But we’d be happy to talk to you.”

Continue on to part thirty

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