"Sucker"

Sucker

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Continued from part twenty-one...

Justin took a quick shower, then walked through the house to make sure there wasn’t evidence of AJ’s visit for Dan to find. Physically, he felt looser, more relaxed; his brain was calmer, too. At least AJ was good for something.

When the doorbell rang, he let Dan into the house. “How’s everything with your people?”

“Not bad,” Dan said. “How’s everything with yours?”

Justin grinned. “Not bad.”

“So, what are you into? Going to bed, going out, a little food, a little PlayStation?” Dan asked.

“How’s Rex’s Damnation sound?”

Dan smiled broadly. “How’s me kicking your ass sound?”

JC put aside concern for Chris as he stepped into Erik’s bedroom. He slipped into his other persona, into the JC who was committed to Howie and wanted to draw Erik into their web of desire.

Erik was opening his closet doors, finding his new purchases. JC studied him with new eyes, smiling. He really was a nice guy. He was young, he was horny, he had a lot of enthusiasm for life in general. He was very obviously attracted to them, and JC’s ego liked that. His dark eyes, his full mouth, his soft young skin… The press of his body to JC’s, the warm, eager touch of his hands, the lust in his eyes… JC’s gaze roamed Erik’s body, wondering, remembering.

“I like you in purple,” Howie was saying, spreading clothes across the bed. “It brings out the warmth in your skin.”

“I didn’t know how much stuff we got in purple before I saw it all together,” Erik said. “I don’t even wear that much purple. Ever.”

“What do you think, JC?” Howie asked.

“I don’t know,” JC said, moving closer, letting his sexual curiosity draw him towards Erik. “I’d like to see you take off what you’re wearing and try some of this on.”

Erik blushed, but he was grinning. “Okay,” he said, his smile nervous in an excited way. He began to undress, and JC watched his quick movements, the unveiling of his flesh. There was something appealing about his body, something smooth and inviting about his skin, something soft about it that reminded JC of…

…Nick.

JC rubbed his thumb across his fingertips, wanting to touch. Nick wasn’t skinny or hard or overmuscled; there was something rich and delicious about his body that invited touch, invited exploration, invited hands and lips and tongues. Erik had the same appeal. JC wondered why he hadn’t noticed it before. Erik wasn’t Nick, of course, but still, JC wanted to touch. Kiss. Explore. There was a softness to his skin, a fullness to his ass, an invitation in the smoothness of his-

“JC?” Howie asked.

JC realized that he was supposed to be participating, not lusting silently. He slid his hands across Erik’s waist, taking a moment to enjoy the feel of warm masculine flesh. Erik’s body wanted to be touched. But the pants Erik had on, and the shirt hanging from one hand, weren’t right. “Not these pants, honey,” he said, and unbuttoned them. Easing down the zipper, he gazed into Erik’s eyes, seeing desire there, feeling his own body respond to it. He liked Erik’s smile, the warmth of it, the innocence. Erik thought he knew the world, but he didn’t, and JC was going to teach him.

“Uh…JC,” Erik said, his smile bright, his eyes flickering nervously past JC to Howie, then returning.

“Erik-Michael,” JC said, drawing it out, lingering over the syllables as his gaze lingered on Erik’s mouth. It looked so soft, so…welcoming… JC licked his own lips slowly, entranced, unconsciously sliding his hands inside Erik’s open pants to stroke Erik’s ass.

Behind him, he heard the door lock.

That was all the impetus JC needed. He caught Erik’s mouth with his own, pushing into the kiss, stroking his tongue aggressively past Erik’s lips. Erik grunted, surprised, quickly wrapping his arms around JC, balancing their weight and bringing JC’s hips flush to his. Feeling how hard Erik already was, JC ground against him, pushing down his pants, tugging down his underwear. Erik’s kiss was fast, hungry, making JC kiss back harder. His hands were greedy on JC’s body, making JC feel wanted, urging JC to give more, take more.

JC let Erik’s lust for him drag him deeper into the moment. He concentrated on the physical, sexual stimuli of Erik’s tongue stroking into his mouth, Erik’s hands hot and possessive on his body, Erik’s soft groans and panting breaths, Erik’s naked flesh bared to his hands. In the back of his mind he heard Howie’s advice: tell him how much you want it, what are you going to give him, don’t overdo it. Moaning, JC rubbed Erik’s erection with one hand, barely breaking the kiss to say, “Erik-Michael, honey, let me,” slow moan, lingering kiss, making Erik wait, “suck it for you.”

Erik groaned, throbbing against JC’s palm. “Yeah, god, okay,” he said, taking JC’s mouth in another kiss.

JC pumped Erik’s dick slowly, going down onto his knees. “Baby,” he murmured, and licked precum from the head, hearing Erik moan. He swirled his tongue around the crown, tightening his grip just so.

“Don’t touch him. Touch me.”

JC closed his eyes, bringing Howie into his mind. The smoothness of Howie’s skin, the definition of Howie’s muscles, the hardness of Howie’s dick stretching him, filling him… JC moaned, sucking deeply, stroking the bones of Erik’s pelvis with exploring fingers. He loved the smooth, even thrust of Howie’s dick, the way Howie’s hands shaped his hips, the way Howie’s kisses always drew him in closer, closer, closer. He sucked over Erik’s dick, working into a steady rhythm, forcing Erik to groan the way Howie had, remembering those needful, aching, satisfied moans. JC’s dick pulsed heavily within the confines of his pants, reminding him of his own needs, and as he sucked hungrily on Erik’s dick he remembered the gentle squeezes from Howie’s hand and he moaned, sucking harder, the gasping groans of Erik’s pleasure peaking with the thick spurts of Erik’s cum.

JC lingered, stroking Erik’s naked thighs, remembering the solid fullness of Nick’s legs. He kissed Erik’s hip and rose, kissing Erik slowly, licking teasingly against his tongue. “I want you so much,” he whispered, sliding his fingers around the shell of Erik’s ear, stroking back over peach fuzz. He looked into Erik’s eyes, attracted to the desire there. “I wish you could fuck me, honey. I want you inside.”

“You have no idea,” Erik said, kissing him hungrily, rubbing right beside his aching dick, so close it made him twist closer. “Can I, do you want me to…”

JC almost said yes, but at the last second he remembered to glance at Howie. “Not now, baby. Not here. We’ve already done too much. We don’t want your friends to get suspicious.” He kissed Erik slowly, licking gently. “Later. Tonight.” He was so hard it wouldn’t have taken much more to get him off, but he backed up, adjusting his clothes with a brief smile. “Looks like you still need something to wear.”

Chris was losing his third game of checkers in a row when his phone rang. Normally he was better at board games than this, but normally he wasn’t having a mental breakdown. He checked the ID.

Kevin.

It was Kevin.

“Kirkpatrick,” he said, and it came out surprisingly normal.

“Where are you and what are you doing?”

“I’m at the Townhouse playing checkers with Trevor.” He watched Trevor jump two of his checkers. “I’m losing.”

“I’m at my house. Come here, right now.”

“Yes, sir.” Chris pocketed his phone. “I have to go. I’m needed elsewhere.” He jumped one of Trevor’s pieces. “King me,” he said, and leaned across the table to kiss Trevor’s mouth. “I’ll see you later. I’ll call you or something.”

“Okay,” Trevor said, and tugged him in for another kiss. Soft, promising. “Bye.”

If Chris didn’t get to Kevin soon, he was going to lose it. Seriously lose it. Kevin at least could usually fuck him, calm him, or intimidate him into some semblance of sanity. Chris had nothing under control, not himself, not his life, not his desires, not his needs. Kevin had everything under control.

Still, for a moment, Chris almost regretted walking away from Trevor. It was a little hard to leave someone who actually loved him, and cared about him, and wanted to share something special with him.

But Kevin had summoned him. And Kevin had Brian. And Chris could never say no to that.

Erik held still while Howie smoothed his collar. He’d had wardrobe people fix his clothes before, but Howie’s touch was lingering, and there was a fond smile quirking Howie’s lips. While they were face-to-face, Erik took the time to look, really look at the rising slopes of Howie’s cheekbones, the soft curves of his mouth, the warm brown of his eyes. Erik brought one hand up, stroking the trim hair on Howie’s chin, and Howie tilted in for a slow, clinging kiss. For a moment they were held there in time, and then Howie’s hands moved out across his shoulders and Howie’s tongue touched his and Erik brought his other hand up, flattening it against the small of Howie’s back.

Yearning, breathy, “Erik-Michael,” and then Howie was kissing him again, and Erik brought Howie closer to his body, his hand sliding down over Howie’s ass while his thoughts spun off in new directions. It was hard to think while Howie was sucking on his tongue, but he couldn’t remember hearing Howie sound like that before. He didn’t know that tone; he didn’t recognize that voice. Not just desire, but longing, yearning, like Howie wanted things from him, more things than he’d already given. Wasn’t everything out and available for Howie to take? When had he ever denied Howie, refused Howie anything? What more could Howie want from him?

It was a heavy, almost staggering notion. Howie. Yearning. For him. He didn’t know what it meant, but damn, it felt good.

Howie released him, stepping back, and he licked his lips, feeling heat in his cheeks. “So, how do I look?” He wasn’t a big fan of wearing purple, and the pants were a little tight. Then again, the pants wouldn’t feel as tight if he weren’t as hard. Besides, what, was he afraid of looking gay? He was screwing two men. It was sort of a moot point. Of course, it wasn’t like everybody had to know he was screwing two men. It was weird; half of him wanted to run down the street in joyous celebration yelling, “I’m fucking JC Chasez and he’s fucking hot!” The other half of him didn’t want anyone to suspect anything ever. If people thought he was gay, everything would change. He wasn’t even sure he was gay. He just happened to like kissing Howie. Who wouldn’t?

“You look great,” Howie said.

“You look hot,” JC agreed, smiling at him. “Let’s go turn heads.”

Chris didn’t know why he felt like seeing Kevin would make him feel better. Only seeing Brian would actually help. But Kevin at least provided him with just the right kind of sex that took him away from the pain, that momentarily eased the agony, that brought him physical release. And Kevin was easy to deal with; Kevin was clear, and direct, and told him what to do so he didn’t have to think. Making his own decisions wasn’t his strong suit anymore. He tended to make bad decisions, like falling in love with Brian. But that hadn’t been a conscious choice at all; that had been a biological imperative. How could he not fall in love with Brian?

Kevin had just been with Brian. Kevin had promised to give him something of Brian’s. Anything, a small piece of Brian, Chris didn’t care if it was a plastic spoon, he just-

He was unraveling. He knew it, he could tell, he was getting worse and worse every day. Before this had all started up again, during the long stretch of time when Brian had been out of his life, he’d learned to live day by day. He’d managed the pain, he’d hidden the torment, he’d kept it together. Now, with Brian back and Kevin around and Trevor pulling on emotions he didn’t have available anymore, he was under too much stress, too much pressure. It was pulling him apart, and he didn’t know if he could keep playing this game.

The door opened. Kevin took one look at him and said, “You look like hell.”

“You look great. How’s Brian?”

“Get in here,” Kevin said with controlled impatience. Chris entered, and Kevin closed the door, walking him into the front room. “Sit down.”

Chris sat, looking around the room, wondering which item of Brian’s Kevin might have for him. Whatever it was, had Kevin taken it with Brian’s knowledge and permission, or behind Brian’s back? If Brian knew that Kevin was taking things to give to him, was he okay with that? He was okay with that, he was, he had to be. Brian knew everything about him. He’d never hide anything from Brian. He was always open with Brian, honest, about everything. “Where’s Brian? How was Kentucky? He took me there. We-”

“Chris,” Kevin said, and sat on the coffee table, directly in front of him, firmly cupping his chin and looking straight into his eyes. “Do not. Stalk. Jacob.”

Chris swallowed.

“I can’t afford to have you any more distracted than you already are.” Kevin’s voice was serious, commanding. “You’re already having too much trouble completing the tasks I’m giving you. You cannot run after Jacob. You shouldn’t be spending any time alone with him. Ever.”

Brian was talking to Jacob, spending time with Jacob, sharing time and ideas and laughter and experiences with Jacob. Brian was consuming Jacob, piece by piece, bit by bit, day by day. Memorizing the way Jacob smiled, the way Jacob laughed, the way Jacob ate, the way Jacob walked and drove and shook hands and cursed and dressed. Brian was going to be examining Jacob through a lover’s eyes. Brian was going to kiss Jacob’s soft, generous mouth and stroke Jacob’s tight, rippled abs and tuck back Jacob’s hair to whisper sweet, sweet words into Jacob’s ear and make hot, dazzling love to Jacob until Jacob couldn’t imagine a more life-affirming, life-changing, life-shattering experience. Chris wasn’t capable of hating anyone more than he hated Jacob; he wanted Jacob to die, and he would have been more than happy to make that happen himself. But if Jacob was going to live, and Brian was going to share magical love, life, sex, and happiness with Jacob, then Chris wanted to be there. If he couldn’t have Brian for himself, then he’d have Brian through Jacob.

Kevin’s voice was deadly as a knife. “Tell me you’re going to stay away from him.”

Chris couldn’t lie. “I have to be near him.”

Kevin’s eyes were calculating. “I thought you’d want to kill him.”

“I do! I want to do horrible, unspeakable things to him. I want to torture him and mutilate him and make him beg for mercy, and then I want to rip him apart with my bare hands until there’s nothing left. But I can’t do that. I want to talk to him and spend time with him and be with him, the way Brian is.”

Kevin’s gaze narrowed. “Brian’s going to fuck him. Do you want to fuck him?”

Oh. That was it. That was it! “Yes,” Chris said. He hadn’t thought of it that plainly, but yes, that was what he wanted. Brian was experiencing Jacob to the fullest, and he wanted to share in that experience; he wanted to share in Brian’s life, so he wanted to experience Jacob, too. He wanted to feel what Brian felt and see what Brian saw and do what Brian did, because maybe then he’d be closer to Brian. Maybe then he’d understand.

“I’m going to give you a direct order, because you respond to direct orders, and I’m going to use small words so you’ll understand exactly what I’m saying,” Kevin said, leaning in closer. “Do not stalk Jacob. Do not touch Jacob. Do not go near Jacob. Stay away from Jacob. Brian doesn’t need the interference, and I don’t need you getting distracted. I need you focused on the job in front of you, and Brian is not going to like it if you fuck this up for him.”

Chris stared. He’d never fuck up anything for Brian.

“Tell me you’re going to stay away from Jacob,” Kevin ordered.

“I’ll stay away from Jacob,” Chris said immediately. He wouldn’t risk ruining Brian’s plans.

“Good.” Most of the stern tension left Kevin’s shoulders; he touched Chris’s cheek and dropped a brief kiss by Chris’s mouth. “You look like shit. How’s everything been going? How’s Trevor?”

Oh. That. Chris kicked off his shoes and drew up his feet, leaning back, twisting his fingers in his socks. “I stayed with him. He fucked me, and I didn’t get hard, and I think he got discouraged. The next morning, I missed Brian, and I tried to use Trevor for a sex fix, but I couldn’t get into it. He wasn’t anything like Brian or anything like you, so I just gave up. He got pissed off, but I stayed. And then we talked, and I tried again, and…”

“And?” Kevin’s voice held a note of warning. It sounded like “You’ve been doing great up until this point, and I’m prepared to be pleased with your performance, so don’t blow it.”

It was already blown. “It worked. I found Brian. He fucked me, and I fucked him, and it was almost like having Brian back. And then when it was over, I…” Chris didn’t have words. He didn’t know how to express the gut-wrenching agony of opening his eyes and not seeing Brian, of seeing the wrong person, an alien, a stranger. The killing pain of it. It had felt like having Brian back all over again, and losing Brian all over again. He’d finally, finally felt like he was experiencing Brian again, and he’d made love to his beautiful, beautiful, perfect Brian, and there had been joy again, and hope. There had been color in the world again.

Opening his eyes, seeing Trevor in Brian’s place, had been a severe jolt of disorientation. Dislocation.

He’d lost Brian again.

Reality was an ever-changing, inconstant thing. He was in love with Brian. Brian was in love with him. Brian wasn’t in love with him. He was Kevin’s former boyfriend. He was Kevin’s current sex partner. He was Kevin’s evil minion. He was Trevor’s friend. He wanted to start over again at love with Trevor. He liked Trevor. He hated Trevor. None of it made sense anymore. None of it fit anymore. Brian had shown him that reality was only what he chose to believe from his perspective, or what other people convinced him to accept. Chris had stopped enjoying reality a long time ago, and Kevin and Trevor were making it worse.

Chris realized that the room had been silent for too long. He wondered what that was about. He looked up to see if Kevin was - - Jesus.

“You fucked Trevor,” Kevin said.

This wasn’t going to be good.

“You fucked Trevor,” Kevin repeated.

Chris wondered if he could make it to the door without getting caught.

“You fucked Trevor?!” Kevin was on his feet, over six feet of rage, danger, and threat. “I told you to let him fuck you once, and you did exactly what I wanted. And then you turned right around and got him to fuck you again, and enjoyed it. I could have dealt with that, I could have made that work, that didn’t have to be a problem. But then you fucked him?!”

It was almost frightening, to watch Kevin be this furious but still remain in control. Obviously, he was mad as hell, and wanted to knock over furniture and slam Chris’s head through a wall. The rage in his voice, the hatred in his eyes, the tension in his body all clearly communicated that he wanted Chris dead. But he wasn’t even gesturing, much less getting violent. Chris wondered why Kevin was choosing to spare his life.

Then Kevin leaned in, planting his hands behind Chris’s shoulders on the back of the couch, green eyes glaring hatred from mere inches away. “You. Fucked. Up,” Kevin growled.

Chris leaned back into the cushions, making a smaller target of himself. Kevin was scaring him.

“I could make your life very, very good. I could make things a lot easier for you. But you’ve chosen to make things a lot harder for me.”

He didn’t like the way Kevin’s eyes were glittering. It made Kevin look sort of evil. Chris was frightened now. He wanted to stop the ride and get off.

“Brian doesn’t want you,” Kevin said. “Brian doesn’t love you, and he never will.”

Chris tensed. That was a low fucking blow, and whether it was true or not, Kevin didn’t have to say it. He knew that he shouldn’t react, that he should let the large scary man yell and hope that it would be over soon, because Kevin was disturbingly frightening and he was not a well man on a good day, but he couldn’t hold back a quick, whispered, angry, “Fuck you.”

There was a long moment of silence. They stared into each other’s eyes, unflinching, unmoving, mere inches apart. Chris heard himself breathing. He wasn’t sure Kevin was breathing at all.

He really, really shouldn’t have said that.

He really, really regretted it.

Kevin was really, really angry.

He was really, really scared right now.

“You cross me,” Kevin whispered, “your life is over.”

Chris was watching Kevin’s eyes. He believed it.

“Do,” Kevin ordered, his voice low and dangerous, “what I tell you to do. You are going to obey me. I reward obedience. I punish disobedience. I can improve the quality of your life, or I can make it go downhill faster than you can get the words out to beg me to stop.”

Chris wondered if this began to explain why Justin screamed at night.

“If I want to, I can be nice to you. I can be your friend,” Kevin said. “But you have to make me want to. Right now, Chris, I don’t think I want to.”

Chris suspected that Kevin’s version of “friend” wasn’t quite as friendly as what he was used to.

“I had something for you,” Kevin said, straightening, taking one step back. Chris wondered if that move meant that the bloodshed was over. “It was a gift, something of Brian’s. I was going to give it to you as a reward for handling things here with Trevor while I was gone.”

Brian’s? “What is it?” Chris asked, unable to make himself shut up.

“That doesn’t matter,” Kevin said. “You’re not going to get it.”

“I have to have it,” Chris said immediately.

“I just told you that you’re not going to get it,” Kevin said.

“It’s Brian’s,” Chris said, getting to his feet. “I need it.” There was nothing more urgent in the world.

Thunderclouds gathered overhead. “I don’t like having to repeat myself, Chris.”

Whoa, scary. Chris really had to remember not to piss Kevin off, because apparently, the wicked sociopath who lived inside Kevin’s body did not want to be disturbed. Okay, Chris could learn that lesson. “What do you like?” Chris asked. “I’ll do whatever you want. Wash your car. Wax your doorknobs. Seduce Trevor. Want me to run a few errands? Money, sex, anything, you name it.”

Kevin studied him, arms crossed.

Chris tried to look intelligent and obedient.

“There is something you might be able to do for me,” Kevin said.

Justin thought he might be spending too much time with Dan, because he was starting to sense Dan’s moods. They were simply playing Rex’s Damnation, eating chips and talking smack, but Dan seemed distracted. At first Justin thought maybe he was just tired, because it was getting late, but he didn’t look sleepy; he looked preoccupied. Finally, Justin paused the game and said, “You okay?”

“What?” Dan asked. “Yeah,” he said. “I’m fine. Why?”

Justin shook his head. “You talk a whole lotta game for someone who’s letting me spank his ass all over the screen.”

Dan laughed, but the smile left his eyes a beat too quickly. “I don’t know,” he said. “It’s just some stuff. It’s nothing serious.”

Normally Justin would have respected Dan’s privacy, but he needed to know what was going on in Dan’s life, any problems, any weaknesses. “Work stuff?” he guessed. “Family stuff, friend stuff?”

Dan’s smile was amused despite itself. “All of the above.”

There was only one thing in Justin’s life that equaled, at once, work, family, and friends. “The guys?”

“Yeah.” Dan nodded, looking away. “I don’t know everything that’s going on, but I don’t think I like what I do know.”

This could get tricky. Justin had been where Dan was, once. “What do you mean?”

“It’s nothing,” Dan said. “It’s not my place to tell them how to live their lives, anyway. They do what they want to do.”

“What they do affects you,” Justin said. “What you do affects them. You’re one, you’re a unit.” Sometimes that was easy and fun. Sometimes it was hard as hell. But it was always a fact.

“I can’t tell them what to do,” Dan said.

“You’re their leader, right?” Justin asked. “One of their leaders. What does Jacob think?”

Dan laughed. “Man, I don’t know what Jacob thinks. Maybe I should ask Brian.”

Justin tried not to smile. This was getting fun. “Brian?”

“Jacob’s living in Brian’s pockets,” Dan said. “He called a group meeting, we all got together, and as soon as we were ready he was running out the door, going to pick up Brian.”

Justin’s brain froze. “Tonight?”

“Yeah,” Dan said. “It’s not that big of a deal, but it’s not like Jacob, and it’s just one more sign that I don’t really know what’s going on anymore. Maybe I’ve been away too much, but it was just a few days.”

Jacob had gone to pick up Brian. Brian was with Kevin. If Brian was home, then Kevin was home. Kevin was back. Justin dug his hands into the carpeting for self-control. “Maybe you should spend more time with them.”

“Yeah,” Dan said. “I’ll see what’s going on tomorrow.”

Justin couldn’t think of a decent segue, so he jumped right in. “I’m finished kicking your ass.”

“Yeah?” Dan asked, casting a glance at the screen.

“I’m being merciful,” Justin said. “I think I’m going to make a few calls and go to bed. You can hang out, or whatever, if you’re not tired.”

“Yeah, okay,” Dan said.

“Okay.” Justin got up. It was a struggle not to run right out of the room.

This was one of the hottest clubs Joey had ever been to. The music was electric, the drinks were strong, the shows were wild, and the dancers were very, very friendly. It was good to fuck a woman again.

One of the hottest things about the club, though, was Nick. Nick’s smirk, Nick’s ass, Nick’s hand on his thigh, Nick’s voice whispering in his ear. The invitation in Nick’s eyes. The tear in Nick’s shirt, that teasing hint of skin. One of the dancers had touched it, flirting. It had made Joey want him more.

Joey was tired of being irritated by Nick, confused and frustrated and surprised by Nick. He just wanted to fuck Nick, and enjoy it, and manage to work together with Nick to bring down Ashley. It didn’t have to be any more complicated than that.

Kevin wasn’t answering his phone. Justin hung up on his voicemail without leaving a message, not knowing what to say. He called again, and again, but Kevin never picked up.

Finally, Justin said, “I got the flowers, and I came home.” He’d done what Kevin had wanted. That was all he could do.

He brushed his teeth, stripped, and got in bed. The bed was comfortable, his body was relaxed, his brain was running in Kevin circles but that was nothing new; but he couldn’t get to sleep. He closed his eyes and thought about Kevin and waited to drift off, but nothing happened.

He rolled onto his other side.

Nothing.

He heard noise, and opened his eyes. Dan was coming into the room, visible in the soft lamplight. Dan went into the bathroom and came out, undressing, then got into bed with him, sliding in behind him. “Hey,” he said quietly.

“Hey,” Dan said, soft and surprised. “Did I wake you up, stomping around?”

He almost smiled. “No. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh.” Dan’s arms came around him, strong and secure; Dan’s body spooned up against him, close and comforting. “You tried counting sheep?” Dan’s voice was closer now, right behind his ear, quiet and private.

That felt good. Justin leaned back into Dan, relaxing. “No,” he said. “I was wondering why Jacob’s hanging out with Brian. I thought he was too cool for Backstreet.”

“The way I hear it, Brian’s not a Backstreet Boy, he just happens to be in the Backstreet Boys,” Dan said.

Justin laughed out loud.

“That was pretty much my reaction,” Dan said.

Justin liked being held like this. It made him realize how close he and Dan were becoming. He hadn’t intended to share this much of himself with Dan, but he couldn’t entirely regret it. It was good to talk to someone again. He hadn’t really let anyone see him this openly since Kevin had taught him what he was really like inside, but sometimes he thought that he could say anything to Dan. He could say anything to AJ, too, but AJ’s truth was a little more brutal than Dan’s. AJ and Dan were different in a lot of ways. He got along very well with AJ physically and sexually, although their conversations were always a disaster. He could talk to Dan for hours, but there was nothing remotely sexual between them. Which wasn’t all that flattering, but possibly made Justin’s life a shade less complicated. “Brian always seems like a nice guy.”

“Yeah,” Dan agreed.

Justin wondered how Chris was doing. He hadn’t really talked to Chris about much more than where Kevin was. He wondered how the other guys were doing, too. He wondered what Kevin was doing. Who Kevin was doing. What he could do to get Kevin to give him another chance. What he was willing to do to make that happen.

Justin fell asleep.

JC had been hard all night, and it was starting to get to him. He’d tried ignoring it, which hadn’t worked. He’d tried taking time away from Howie and Erik, but that had proven to be impossible. He’d tried drinking, but that had only made him more horny. Finally, he’d just given in and accepted the fact that until they got home and he let off some steam, he’d be left hard and aching.

Howie had cupped it, briefly enough not to get caught but lingering just enough to guarantee he wouldn’t mistake it for an accident. That had made things worse, of course, but it had been worth it.

When he wasn’t drinking or being felt up by Howie, he was dancing with Erik. They kept a girl between them, but their eyes were on each other. If they could get her within their rhythm, it was almost like she wasn’t there at all. JC kept his gaze locked with Erik’s, his hands finding Erik’s on her body, stroking Erik’s fingers, grinding against her to the rhythm of Erik’s hips.

Much of their joint sexual experience had involved Howie, so they were used to finding each other through a third person. When JC altered the rhythm, Erik followed his lead; when Erik’s fingers stroked back over JC’s wrist bones, JC mated their hands.

Erik’s eyes wanted him.

JC ground against the girl a little harder.

Erik ground back.

It wouldn’t take much more of this to get JC off. He pushed his knee forward between her thighs, and Erik did the same, and suddenly they were that much closer to each other. “Fuck me,” JC whispered, knowing that no one would hear him over the noise of the club, knowing that Erik would see.

Heat flared in Erik’s eyes. JC watched, felt his rhythm stutter, then speed up. He licked his lips, slowly, and JC’s hands tensed over his.

A hand hooked inside JC’s elbow; he turned his head. Howie leaned in to say, “We’re leaving. We’re going to your place.” There was sexual promise in Howie’s eyes. “Now.”

JC pulled away from the girl, taking Erik with him. “We’re going home,” he said, leaning in close enough to rub his dick against Erik’s thigh, pressing his hand against Erik’s hard-on.

Erik shifted closer, smelling like sweat and women’s perfume and Howie’s cologne. “I can’t wait that long.”

JC bit back his first response. He couldn’t make that decision without Howie. They had to leave immediately, or he was going to get them in trouble.

When they got into the car, JC hoped that Howie was willing to drive fast, because he didn’t know if he’d be able to make it. Needs and urges were riding him, and he was just drunk enough for the idea of jumping Howie in a moving car to sound good.

At the first stoplight, Howie turned right. “Where are we going?” JC asked.

“Your house,” Howie said.

“My house is west of here.”

“I know.” Howie stopped at another light, turning to him and kissing him. He kissed back quickly, moaning at the sleek caress of Howie’s tongue. He felt Howie unbuckle his seatbelt, and opened his eyes. “I’ll take the long way,” Howie said. “Why don’t you sit in the back with Erik?”

JC looked into Howie’s eyes, checking.

Howie winked.

The car was in motion, and JC climbed into the backseat, dropping down beside Erik. He kissed Erik hungrily, unfastening first Erik’s seatbelt and then Erik’s fly.

“Jesus,” Erik said, kissing back eagerly but sounding shocked. “JC, we’re in a car.”

“Oh, baby, I know,” JC said, feeding from the soft lushness of Erik’s mouth.

“You’re, god, this is so fucking hot,” Erik said. JC wrapped his hand around Erik’s dick and Erik groaned, rocking up into his grasp. “This is, god, aren’t you, what if we get caught?”

JC had gone down on Nick backstage at an awards show. He’d let Nick fuck him in full costume minutes before performing. Getting off in a car was not a big deal. “Touch me, baby, please,” he said, fisting Erik’s dick with a close grip. “I’m so hard for you.”

“Jesus, yeah, I know, I know,” Erik said, fumbling open JC’s fly. JC moaned, hips jerking forward, as Erik’s hand pushed inside his underwear. “Oh, yeah,” Erik groaned, and the backseat was filled with the sounds of heavy panting, skin on skin, and half-moaned curses. JC had been wanting this all night, been hot and hard and wanting Erik all night, and the rush of the car fueled the rush of his blood and he came hard, moaning and shuddering and finally reaching the release he’d been denied. The inside of the car was dark, brightened only by the flash of streetlights, but JC recognized the lust in Erik’s eyes, felt the tension in the way Erik kissed him, the way Erik urged him closer. He pulled away, sliding down from the seat to the floor, and bent forward, his head in Erik’s lap, taking Erik’s erection into his mouth. The car was moving fast and Erik’s hand was in his hair and Erik’s dick was pushing full and hard between his lips and when the first spurts came, he swallowed them like water, moaning inside.

By the time the car stopped, JC was almost naked and Erik’s hands were everywhere. Getting out of the car, JC and Erik grabbed Howie, pushing each other into the house, pulling each other down the hallway, spilling across the bed. JC was undressing Howie and Howie was undressing Erik and Erik was all over JC and JC was all over Howie and Howie was coming in Erik’s mouth.

JC was a little high on sex and a little buzzed from alcohol, but he was sure he heard Erik say, very clearly, “God, I wanted that all night.”

Howie was kissing JC slowly, lingering over JC’s mouth, making faint vocalizations of pleasure. Erik was kissing Howie’s chest like he was settling in for good. JC ran his fingers through Howie’s hair and sucked lightly on Howie’s lower lip. Tonight was the first night he’d really enjoyed himself with Erik. Howie had made it easier for him to focus on sex, and not on who he was actually having sex with. Once he’d fallen in love with Nick, and he’d realized what the true fusion of sex and love could create, he’d started to look for that with his other sexual partners. But sex didn’t have to be about love, or emotion, or anything else but body parts, physical chemistry, and sexual availability. He didn’t have to respect Erik to be attracted; he didn’t have to like Erik to get hard.

He was in this for a reason, but why shouldn’t he get what pleasure from it he could? Why not have fun along the way? He hadn’t expected to find this strong sexual attraction to Howie, but he had. He hadn’t expected to find this sexual spark with Erik, either, but why not fan it into a flame and see what happened? Being attracted to Erik sexually wouldn’t stop him from doing what he’d set out to accomplish, and it might provide some good entertainment.

Howie smiled at him. “Looks like you’re having a good night.” In Howie’s eyes was amusement over their shared secret.

JC smiled back. “I am. I didn’t embarrass myself by begging too much, did I?”

Howie looked like he wanted to laugh, and his kiss was warm. “No, JC, you always sound just right.”

Joey dropped onto his back on his bed, one solid fall with a satisfying bounce. “You keep saying we’re boyfriends.”

“We are boyfriends,” Nick said from the doorway.

Joey grinned. “So c’mere and let me fuck you.”

Nick laughed, walking over and climbing on top of him. “That’s never going to happen.”

Never. Joey pushed and rolled, ending up on top. Nick was the only person he’d ever been in bed with who was actually bigger than he was. Weird, different, but intriguing. “Why not?”

Nick’s smile had an amused, sharp edge to it that Joey liked. “I don’t bottom.”

Joey didn’t believe that. “Ever?”

Nick shook his head. “Ever.”

Joey studied him, trying to see it. “Bullshit.”

Nick laughed.

Joey smiled.

“What?” Nick asked, shifting comfortably under him.

“You’re kind of hot, for a complete asshole.”

Nick grinned. “You’re not that bad, either.”

Jacob wanted to be someone. He wanted to make his mark on the music industry. He wanted respect, and recognition. He couldn’t do that, not the way he wanted to, as an out gay man. He knew that, and he’d accepted it. He’d examined his choices, weighed his options, and taken a long look at himself. He’d made his decisions a long time ago, and he’d never regretted them.

Their friendship, the connection that they shared, was undeniable. They’d clicked immediately, and they’d locked into place in each other’s lives effortlessly. It felt right to be with Brian. It was right to be close to Brian. The closer they got, the closer Jacob wanted to be. He could tell that Brian did, too.

He wanted to know how far this could go. He wanted to take their connection to the next level, through to every level. This could be the greatest friendship of his life. When he looked into Brian’s eyes, he knew that there was nothing standing between them but their own choices.

He was willing to reverse old decisions. He was willing to break his own rules. For Brian, it would be worth it. For Brian, he would do it.

Their friendship was too strong, their connection too intense, for anything to break it. What he felt for Brian was so real, so right, that he didn’t want to hold back and stick to his old decisions and let this opportunity slip through his fingers. He was going to wait until the moment was right; he wasn’t going to rush into it immediately. But the way that their minds, hearts, and souls had united told him that he couldn’t let anything stand in the way of the union of their bodies.

Joey liked making out. He didn’t like it as much as sex, but it held a solid second place. As far as guys went, making out with Nick was even better than making out with Ashley, because he and Nick approached each other as equals. They shared the lead, confident in their own techniques, not shy about what they liked. Joey had been having a really good night, and fucking Nick would be the perfect end to it, but he was finding it hard to move on to the next stage when the current stage was this damned good.

When Joey got on top again, Nick made a frustrated, imperative noise and cupped the side of his face with one hand, kissing him harder, more demanding. Joey grunted against the steady fuck of Nick’s tongue and took over the kiss, licking back into Nick’s mouth until Nick was making an impatient sound and tugging on his shirt.

Joey rose up, pulling off his shirt and tossing it aside. Before he could return to his place over Nick, Nick was moving up and taking charge, pushing him back down to the mattress and kissing him aggressively, one hand jerking down the zipper to his pants.

Being pushed around like that made Joey hot; he could admit it. His dick throbbed heavily, reminded of AJ. With his head at the foot of the bed and his tongue fighting Nick’s for dominance of their kiss, Joey filled both hands with the lush curves of Nick’s ass. The leather was warm against his palms, and when he began to squeeze, Nick’s hand thrust down the front of his underwear and closed around his dick.

God. Joey groaned, rolling them both over, getting on top and fucking Nick’s fist. The rhythmic pulling on his dick was echoing through his body and tugging on every nerve ending he had. He dropped down from Nick’s mouth to lick through the tear in Nick’s shirt, tasting skin, finally getting his tongue on the spot that had been teasing him all night. It still wasn’t enough; he jerked at the collar of Nick’s shirt and sucked on the slope of muscle where neck blended into shoulder. Nick moaned, the sound of it swirling heat through Joey’s blood. Joey pumped his erection into Nick’s fist, fucking Nick’s hand like he wanted to fuck Nick’s body, sucking harder on Nick’s neck and pushing Nick’s shirt up with both hands. He rubbed over Nick’s heated skin, resisting the urge to sink his teeth into Nick’s neck, wanting to take Nick’s body, consume Nick’s flesh, fuck Nick until - - Joey groaned, kissing Nick’s mouth while Nick’s clenching fist pulled ecstasy through his body, through his dick, right out of him in quick, tight strokes.

Oh, yeah. Yes. God. Joey panted against Nick’s mouth, pulling himself together, letting the shudders abate, unconsciously stroking Nick’s side.

Nick kissed him, cum-wet fingers walking up his chest. “You going to let me fuck you now?”

Chris was a little rusty, but he’d been willing to perfect any technique for Brian’s sake, so he was confident that he was doing a good job. Brian had liked the way he kissed like Howie best, and the way he gave head like Nick; Kevin seemed to like the way he kissed like Nick best, and the way he gave head like AJ.

After the first orgasm, Kevin sat down on one end of the sofa and told him to kneel. He got on his knees between Kevin’s feet and waited for instruction. He wondered what his Brian present was.

“I don’t need to tell you that anything that happens here is between the two of us,” Kevin said.

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” Chris said. “Except Brian, if he asks.”

Okay. Chris could do that. When was he going to get his Brian present? After this?

“What you learn to do for me tonight, you will never do for anyone else,” Kevin said. His fingertips brushed Chris’s mouth. “Except Brian, if he asks. Or, if I tell you to do it.”

“I’m going to teach you how I want you to give me head,” Kevin said. “You’re going to do it for me this way at specific times, when I ask for it. You’re going to learn how I want you to kiss me. You’re going to do it for me that way at specific times, when I ask for it.”

“Okay.” Chris wondered if the way he gave head was really freaking lousy, since everyone kept trying to get him to learn new techniques. He’d have to ask Trevor.

Way to set the mood. Chris licked his lips and reached for Kevin’s dick. He wondered who he was supposed to be mimicking, but he knew better than to ask. It could be any one of Kevin’s former lovers.

Kevin looked like he wanted to backhand Chris across the mouth. “You what?” he asked, his voice warning and threat.

“I can’t if it’s Justin,” he said, knowing he couldn’t risk making Kevin angry again but also knowing that he couldn’t do this. “If you want me to-”

“What in hell would possess you to think that I even like the way that fucking cunt touches me?” Kevin asked. “Do you really think that the pathetic, sniveling bitch you call your best friend is so good at pleasuring me that I’d ask you to copy his moves?”

“Justin,” Kevin spat the name, “can’t please me. If he could, I might be more inclined to tolerate him. He’s fucking worthless to me.”

Chris wanted to go home. “Could you at least not call him a fucking cunt to my face?”

“You’re really making me wonder why the hell I deal with you,” Kevin said.

Chris just wanted to hide in the back of his closet with his Brian things and ignore everybody.

“Would this be easier on you if I gave you your present first?” Kevin asked.

“All right.” Kevin kissed him, getting up, fastening his fly. “Wait here.”

Joey had never actually slept with Nick before, without Ashley between them. Nick brought their bodies into a close configuration, conforming to each other. Oddly enough, it was the most intimate moment of the evening, when Nick’s hand was on the back of his neck and Nick was breathing steadily against his shoulder and Nick’s hair was against his cheek. Joey closed his eyes, tucking his fingers under Nick’s hip, and fell asleep.

A white T-shirt. It was a simple white T-shirt. It smelled faintly of Brian-sweat and vanilla, an exotic combination. Chris could almost feel the lingering warmth of Brian’s body heat.

He turned it over and over in his hands, memorizing every detail of it, thoroughly reading the label, counting the stitches in the hem.

He was going to overcome anatomical impossibilities and bear Kevin’s children.

Stroking it gently, Chris folded up the shirt the way Brian would have, and delicately set it aside. Then he turned back to where Kevin was standing. “Here, let me get that for you,” he said, reaching for Kevin’s fly.

With a surprised laugh, Kevin took his hands, tugging him closer and dropping a kiss on his lips. “I’m glad you like it.”

Chris looked up into his eyes. “I do things for you, and you make my life better,” Chris said. “Make my life easier.”

Maybe he could ask Kevin. “Do I have shitty blowjob technique? Am I an awful kisser?”

Kevin laughed again. Chris still wasn’t used to hearing that, but it was a nice sound. “No, Chris, you give great head.”

“I am,” Kevin said, and touched his mouth. “You’re very good. You’re very…” His index finger stroked just beneath Chris’s lower lip, which felt nice, and the way he was gazing at Chris’s mouth was kind of flattering. “Devoted. I like that.”

“If I didn’t want you, Chris, I wouldn’t be with you. If I didn’t want to have sex with you, I wouldn’t. If I didn’t want to kiss you, I wouldn’t. I don’t have time to waste on people I’d rather not be around.”

“Your mouth feels good,” Kevin said, almost a murmur, almost…wanting, and he was leaning in, and Chris’s eyes closed, and Kevin’s mouth settled on his with soft heat.

In the lamplight spilling across the bed, Brian gazed at his love. He’d missed Jacob. He’d almost forgotten how beautiful Jacob was. His love was so pretty… Wide, blue eyes. Thick, brown lashes tipped with gold, tinged with red. The wide, lush curves of Jacob’s mouth. His love had a beautiful face, a beautiful smile. He stroked Jacob’s hair, watching Jacob watch him.

Being with Jacob like this made him miss his pet. His sweet, sweet pet. He wondered where Chris was, what Chris was doing. Was Chris at home, alone? With Trevor? With Kevin?

Probably with Kevin. Kevin would want to see him, to find out what had been happening in their absence.

Brian hoped that Kevin was being nice to his pet. Sometimes Kevin played too roughly.

Jacob’s eyes started to drift shut, heavy with sleep. Brian’s hand stilled; he watched Jacob fall asleep.

Such a pretty mouth. Such a beautiful young man. Brian’s thumb brushed tenderly over Jacob’s cheekbone. “Good night, my love.”

Justin paused halfway out of bed. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you. It’s something past seven.”

Dan didn’t know why he bothered to avert his eyes, since he’d seen all of Justin there was to see already. He dropped back and closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, Justin was back and getting dressed. He took a shower, himself, and then went down to the kitchen for breakfast. They were just finishing breakfast when Justin went upstairs, and a minute later the doorbell rang.

He didn’t want to open the door, but if he didn’t get rid of AJ, Justin would come back down and see AJ there, and he didn’t want Justin to have to face AJ. He opened the door. “This is private property, and you’re not welcome here.”

“This is private property, but it’s not your private property, so kiss my ass,” AJ said. “Where’s Justin?”

“Who the hell are you, the gatekeeper?” AJ demanded. “All right, gatekeeper, you tell Justin this for me.”

Dan was not AJ’s messenger. “I don’t think that Justin needs to hear anything from you right now.”

“You make the rules?” AJ asked. “I can’t talk to him, I can’t see him, you won’t deliver a message for me, do I get to look at him? Can I fucking look at him?”

“Who the fuck do you-” AJ shut up suddenly, balling his hands into tightly clenched fists, turning to one side and lowering his head. He looked as enraged as anyone Dan had ever seen, but somehow he was managing to control it. Slowly, he took in a deep breath, and when he turned to face Dan again, he uncurled his fists. His voice was tight, rough with some emotion Dan couldn’t name. “Can you tell me what he’s wearing?”

Dan had no idea why AJ would care, but he found AJ’s intensity oddly compelling. Despite himself, he answered the question. “A navy blue T-shirt and jeans.”

AJ inhaled slowly, visibly calming himself. “The one with the red dragon on the sleeve?”

Dan remembered seeing tape on the clasp, and wondering why Justin of all people would wear a taped-up bracelet. “Broken clasp.”

Dan tried to picture Justin in his head. Then he wondered what the hell he was doing. “What is this about? Why do you care?”

Fierce intensity flared in AJ’s eyes. “I care about everything about Justin,” he said, almost snarling it. “I can’t see him, I can’t talk to him, he won’t answer my calls, but you’re in his fucking home, you’re in his fucking bed. If I have to go through you to get to him, then that’s what I’ll fucking do. You have no fucking clue how much I love him, and you never will. Justin’s mine. He’s going to be mine again. You can’t keep me away from him, white bread.”

AJ was frustrated and powerless and, most importantly, away from Justin, and Dan was going to keep it that way.

There was a howl of rage from the other side of the door, then a violent thump, then silence.

When Dan turned away from the door, he saw Justin standing mere feet away, smiling at him.

“You’re a good gatekeeper,” Justin said. He looked…amused. He sounded…happy?

“You’re okay?” Dan asked. He could see that Justin was okay, but he didn’t know why that would be.

“Of course I’m okay,” Justin said. “You’re making sure I’m okay.” He hugged Dan warmly. “I wish you’d been around when this had started. Things would be a lot different.”

Dan hugged him back. “I wish I had, too,” he said, and he meant it. He raised one hand and hooked a finger under Justin’s necklace, drawing it forth from under Justin’s shirt. “So that’s which necklace you’re wearing.”

The sound of JC’s moans tugged Erik from sleep. He opened his eyes to see JC there beside him in bed, mere inches away, head back, eyes squeezed shut, mouth open. Immediately Erik’s gaze traveled down JC’s body, finding Howie there between JC’s thighs, one hand and two gorgeous lips wrapped around JC’s erection.

Howie’s other hand was curved over JC’s hip, and JC had one hand there, stroking between Howie’s fingers. JC’s other hand was on his own nipple, fingers gently pinching and twisting. Erik watched in shocked fascination. He’d fallen asleep seconds after closing his eyes on the two of them kissing, and now he was waking to this, after everything that had happened last night? Didn’t the two of them ever stop?

Panting, JC moaned Howie’s name, hand sliding down to stroke the back of Howie’s hand as it jacked the base of his dick. “Don’t… Not yet… I want…” JC groaned, his back arching.

Howie lifted his head, coming off of JC’s dick with a wet sound, and looked directly at Erik, eyes dark with challenge and desire. Keeping their gazes locked, he licked out, lewdly swirling his tongue around the head of JC’s dick, licking his own lips with obscene relish. Erik’s dick was throbbing and his stomach was fluttering and hot.

JC’s aching groan told Erik that he wasn’t the only one gripped with sudden need. “Howie…” JC moaned, lifting his hips restlessly. “I want…”

“I know what you want,” Howie said softly, holding Erik trapped in his gaze. “And I know that Erik-Michael wants it just as much as you do.”

Erik didn’t have to ask what Howie was talking about. JC wanted him, his mouth. He hadn’t sucked JC off yet, not because he was afraid to, mostly because he’d been avoiding it. If he only gave Howie head, that was something he could explain away, but if he did it to Howe and JC, that wasn’t an anomaly, that was a pattern. He hadn’t been sure he was ready for that, and JC hadn’t brought it up, so he’d been safe.

This wasn’t safe. Not the way Howie was looking at him. Not the way the sight of JC’s dark, swollen erection in Howie’s hand made him feel.

Howie broke eye contact, planting a gentle kiss on the head of JC’s erection, and let go, sliding aside, leaving the place between JC’s legs vacant. He held out a hand.

Swallowing down the fear and desire, the lust and denial, Erik took Howie’s hand, crawling between JC’s thighs. He lay down and settled in, eyeing JC’s erection. He’d never had it in his mouth, but he’d had it in his hand a lot, so he wrapped his hand around it now, holding it in a familiar grip. Howie placed his other hand on JC’s slender, hard thigh.

Erik liked that. JC was guaranteed to make more noise than Howie did. Already it felt rewarding. Erik gave JC a gentle squeeze, parting his lips and lowering his head, figuring he might as well get started.

“JC likes to be pampered,” Howie murmured, crawling closer, swinging one leg over and settling astride Erik’s hips, leaning forward to whisper just behind his ear. “Keep it soft, slow, use a lot of tongue. He likes it to last.”

Erik closed his eyes, guiding JC’s dick to his mouth, licking at it as he took it in. JC tasted a little different from Howie, maybe saltier, and he swallowed, sucking lightly, stroking with his tongue. JC was moaning, so he had to be doing it right, and Howie was rubbing his back and squeezing his hips, murmuring, “Yeah, like that, he wants it, make him beg for it, make him beg you, make him want you.” Erik slid off of the head and kissed his way down, licking up the thick vein, letting his tongue follow the flare of the head.

“When he starts to make that aching, frustrated noise, that means he wants you to suck harder,” Howie said, whispering JC’s secrets into Erik’s ear. “Give him a little more suction, baby, just enough to make him want you more. Slower, slower, don’t give him everything yet, make him ask you for it. You’re the only one with this mouth, Erik-Michael, you’re the only one who can make him feel like this. Make him remember that.”

The only one, he was the only one. JC was this hard for him, moaning for him, panting out his name. “Oh…baby…Erik-Michael…” That aching sound, that frustrated demand for more, that vocalization of greedy want, made Erik suck harder, deep-throating JC while his own dick throbbed heavily, drooling on the sheets.

Groaning, JC was caressing Erik’s hands, his fingers stroking with needy agitation, his hips rocking restlessly to push his dick further between Erik’s lips. Erik sucked harder to give JC what he wanted, picking up the pace, bobbing his head in quick rhythm. Another groan, shocked and wild, and JC was coming, coating the back of Erik’s throat with sudden spurts of cum.

Erik made sure that JC was finished, then lifted his head, shaking it and coughing to clear his throat. JC was already reaching for him, urging him upward, and he crawled up JC’s body, settling in chest to chest to kiss JC hungrily and grind his dick against JC’s stomach. JC’s sighs were satisfied, and JC’s hands roamed, and Erik pushed JC’s hand between their bodies to grasp his erection. JC pumped it for him, giving the head a wicked thumb-flick, jacking him with a wrist-twist that had him gripping the sheets and gasping for air.

“Erik-Michael.” Howie’s hand slid up his back, followed by a slow, sensuous lick up his spine. “Turn around for me.”

JC gave him a deep, wet kiss and released his dick, giving his hip a push. “Turn around for Howie,” JC said, soft and coaxing.

Willing to do whatever they wanted, too hard to refuse, and beckoned by the stroking of Howie’s hand, Erik turned, sitting up as JC sat up behind him. JC fit neatly against his back, spreading his thighs with efficient hands and locking their legs together.

There was heat in Howie’s eyes as he smiled and, tucking his hair behind his ear, leaned down to lick Erik’s dick.

Grabbing JC’s thighs for support, Erik groaned incoherently, crying out when Howie’s hand came into play. Howie was jacking his dick and massaging his balls, JC was rubbing his chest and twisting his nipples, Howie was mouthing his balls and humming around his dick and making him feel like he was tearing through the stratosphere, higher and higher, higher and oh, oh, Howie, Erik shuddered, panting and moaning uncontrollably, clawing roughly at JC’s thighs, exploding in Howie’s mouth.

Erik stroked JC’s thighs to apologize while he let a moment pass to make sure that his mind hadn’t snapped.

Bracing his hands on Erik’s thighs, Howie rose up before him. JC leaned around him, and, so close Erik couldn’t have missed if it he’d wanted to, JC licked up drops of cum from Howie’s lower lip. Howie’s lips parted and Erik watched them slowly, luxuriously lick each other’s tongues. Howie licked JC’s tongue closer, sucking it into his mouth, and JC’s hand came up to cup Howie’s jaw, making a warm, satisfied sound.

Erik turned his head and kissed JC’s cheek, brushing his lips down to JC’s jaw. JC’s hand stroked his chest; Howie kissed him.

Chris rolled over, pushing the sheets down to his waist. Waking up in Kevin’s bed was different from waking up with Trevor. Trevor tended to cling in sleep. Trevor made him feel desired, needed, significant to someone again. When he wakened in Kevin’s bed, Kevin was never actually in the bed.

Apparently Kevin was an early riser. Maybe he had to get up early to spend an extra hour perfecting those glares in the mirror. No, those glares didn’t take practice; hatred that intense came naturally.

It was funny. He liked Kevin. Maybe that meant that he was crazy beyond all repair, but there it was. He liked Kevin. He kind of wanted Kevin to like him, too.

“Good morning.” Kevin came into the bedroom, leaned across the bed to cup his chin and kiss him on the mouth, then picked up a cell phone and left the room again.

Chris got up, did things in the bathroom, got dressed, and admired his new Brian present. He needed to bottle this scent.

He wanted to take Brian’s shirt home with him and spend a few hours or days admiring it, but he had to go to JC’s house for a meeting first. That might mean he’d have to leave this shirt in the car, unattended.

No, he’d take it home first. He might be late for the meeting, but Brian’s shirt’s safety was more important than being punctual.

He wondered if Kevin would want sex before he left. He still didn’t know whose technique he’d learned last night. Generic technique Kevin preferred? An old girlfriend? A former sex slave?

“That doesn’t seem likely,” Kevin said. “Then again, it is Brian, and we both know that what’s likely doesn’t apply with him.”

Kevin was in a good mood today, and Chris wondered how often Justin got to see him like this.

“Try to call me and keep me informed,” Kevin said. “I’ll let you know if I need anything.”

Kevin leaned across the table and kissed him, kind of slowly, with a little bit of tongue. Chris kissed back, eyes closing. When Kevin pulled away, Chris licked his lips, backing up. “Bye,” Kevin said.

“Bye,” Chris said. Holding his shirt and his muffin, he left Kevin’s house, for once feeling strong enough to face whatever the day held.

Joey and Nick moved around each other, showering, dressing, getting ready to go. “Call me when your meeting’s over,” Nick said.

Joey hated it when Nick thought of things he hadn’t thought of. He was going to have to step up his game. He pulled on his shoes.

“Tell him you love him,” Nick said. “Don’t force it, and don’t do it when I’m around. Let it come up naturally. Say it first, don’t make it a ‘Joey, I love you’ ‘I love you, too’ thing.”

Joey knew he could pull that off. He’d been saying it to women for years without meaning it, and they always bought it. “Okay. Ashley’s going to love that.”

Nick smiled, a smile Joey had never seen. Warm, and fond, and affectionate, like he was remembering something beautiful. And then he left.

JC knew that they were coming over this morning, that he’d be here. What was JC trying to do, shove it in his face? Flaunt it in front of him? Lance stepped up closer to the car, willing it to be a lie.

Justin stepped up behind him. “Hey, Lance. Whose car…” Justin stopped speaking. Silence. “Sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Lance said. There were clothes in the backseat. JC’s clothes. Lance recognized them, and even if he hadn’t, only JC would wear trash like that. “It’s fine.”

“Maybe we should go and get coffee or something,” Justin said. “Give JC a minute.”

JC had been fucking in Howie’s backseat. With Howie? With Erik? And then what, he’d paraded into the house half-naked? Of course he had; after getting fucked in the backseat of a car, walking half-undressed across the driveway and into the house would be nothing.

Lance didn’t like to call his best friend a fucking whore, but if the shoe fit…

Lance hadn’t even heard Joey pull up. He lifted his gaze from Howie’s car and turned to face Justin, who was looking concerned, and Joey, who was starting to frown at the car. “Morning.”

“JC has company,” Justin told Joey. “We should go get coffee and come back later.”

“JC and Howie are together,” Lance said. “That’s the game we’re playing, that’s the set-up, isn’t it? JC and Howie are together. We should expect to find Howie here. We’re used to finding JC’s boyfriends at his house.” He started for the front door.

“Maybe he forgot we’re coming,” Joey said. “He must have forgot. He wouldn’t…”

“Come on,” Joey said. “Lance, come on. Let’s go. We’ll have the meeting at my house.”

“Yeah,” Justin said. “We’ll call JC from there, we’ll let Chris know.”

The door opened. JC smiled, automatically pleased to see Lance, then saw Justin and Joey behind him, then realized what was happening and looked utterly horrified.

“No, we’re here for the meeting,” Lance said. He stared into JC’s eyes. “Right, JC?”

“No, we’re all here,” Lance said. “Chris is on his way.” He stepped forward, crowding JC, until JC stepped back and let him enter.

“It’s all right,” Lance said, walking past JC. “It’s fine. Howie’s car is outside. Is he here?”

“He’s in the kitchen,” JC said. Lowering his voice, he whispered, “Erik’s here.” Lance turned just in time to see the quick blush of shame cover JC’s cheeks. At least JC wasn’t proud to have Estrada warming his bed. “Look, can you guys, if you just, I’ll get rid of them.”

“Do I smell coffee?” Lance asked, heading for the kitchen. JC whispered his name and reached for his elbow; he jerked himself free and entered the kitchen.

“Whoa, hey, hi,” Erik said, looking startled, seated at the table over the remains of breakfast.

“Sorry to burst in on you,” Lance said, aware of JC coming in behind him. “We had a meeting scheduled for this morning, but it looks like JC forgot about us.”

“We got in late from the clubs last night and crashed here,” Howie said. “We’ll be on our way.”

“I’ll give Erik-Michael a ride home,” Howie said to JC. He came around the table to kiss JC on the mouth. “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay,” JC said, clearly just wanting them to leave, but returning Howie’s kiss. Then his gaze slid guiltily past Howie to Lance, and the red of shame crept back into his cheeks.

JC leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes, covering his face with one hand. “Lance…”

“Okay, I wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole,” Justin said. “But I’m straight, so I’m not a good judge. And he is wearing nice clothes.”

“That was awkward as hell,” Joey said, joining them. “Does Erik look better than he used to?”

“We knew this was going to happen,” Joey said. “We can’t start taking it personally, and we can’t take it out on each other.”

“I’ll get it,” Lance said. “Maybe they’re bringing back the clothes you left in the backseat.” As he passed JC, he heard a soft groan.

Chris was standing on the front porch. “Should I pretend I didn’t just see Howie and Erik pulling out of the driveway?”

JC was clearing the table, mid-apology. “And then we got caught up in the club, and when we got back, I just wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen. I wouldn’t have brought them back here last night if I’d remembered. Or I would have gotten them out of here earlier.”

“We don’t have any room to judge, anyway,” Justin said. “We’re all doing the same thing.”

“That’s true,” Lance said, “but you don’t like it when AJ fucks you. JC just loves it when Howie fucks him.”

“Lance, I told you that I’m sorry,” JC said, setting down a stack of plates a little too sharply. “I’m sorry that you caught Howie here this morning. I didn’t intend for you to see that. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Yes, I like it when Howie fucks me. I can’t help it that he fucks me when he’s never fucked you. I can’t help it that he’s with me and he’s not with you. But you have no right to get in my face about it and try to make me feel like shit, when you’re with Brian when Chris can’t be.”

JC slammed a handful of silverware down on top of the plates. “Does anyone want breakfast?”

“I wouldn’t mind something,” Joey said. “I didn’t get a chance to…” He stopped talking abruptly.

“Have you made your point?” Justin asked Lance. “Can you shut the fuck up now? Can you stop tearing through the people who are supposed to be your best friends?”

Chris reached past JC and turned off the water. “I know it kind of sucks,” he said to JC, keeping his gaze tactfully lowered. “There’s not much that can make it any better. If it’s any consolation, I don’t think that Joey is Nick’s type.”

“I didn’t tell you?” Chris asked. “I didn’t tell you! He got back last night. Brian’s back! He’s here, he’s home. They both are. Jacob went to go pick Brian up from the airport. I should have called you, I wasn’t thinking about it, I was thinking about Brian being back…”

Joey took it from Justin’s hand. “We have to talk. We’re here for a meeting, and we have to talk. We have to tell you something.”

“Let him call,” JC said, finally turning back around, still hugging himself but otherwise composed.

“It’s okay,” JC said. “It’s not about me. I know you don’t want to hurt me. I can’t take it personally.”

JC laughed, setting down the knife. “Yeah, Joey, you can have the poppy seed.” He turned and hugged Joey. “It’s okay, honey. It hurts, but it’s not about me.”

“No, thanks, I had breakfast,” Justin said. “At home, with Dan, if you’re taking a poll,” he told Lance.

“With Dan?” Justin asked. “AJ and I keep changing game plans. I think we finally found something we’re both comfortable with. This time, I’m not going to have to have sex with Dan.”

“Hey, Trevor kind of lusts after my dick, too,” Chris said. “I had sex yesterday. Do you know how long it’s been since I fucked somebody?”

“I’ve been getting a lot of action lately,” Chris said. “It’s what I like to call a welcome change.” He looked at JC. “Isn’t there something I was supposed to ask you about?”

“I don’t know,” JC said. His gaze drifted over to where Lance was standing against the wall. “Can I get you something to eat?” he asked quietly, offering peace.

“With a nice brimming cup of steaming Folger’s instant bastard,” Chris said.

Joey was laughing. Lance couldn’t help it; a smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It must have been that last slice of toasted jackass. I’m sorry,” he said, and came around to hug JC.

JC hugged him back, laughing. “It’s okay. We’re all in this together. We’re all going to have days where it hits us harder than others.”

“Pile in,” Joey said, and the five of them crowded into a hug together. “Everybody feel better?”

“Good,” Justin said. “Then what’s this meeting for?” he asked as they separated again.

JC coughed, tucking his hair behind one ear, tugging up his pants. “I pierced my perineum.”

“No!” Joey said. “That’s… No offense, I respect your decision, but that’s...”

“I think it’s hot,” Lance said. “And I think it’s totally out of character.”

JC adjusted one of his bracelets. “Yes, it hurt at the time. It’s healing now, and I have to keep it clean, and I can’t…be penetrated. I did it for myself, and I did it for Nick, and Howie and I have to rework our plans for Erik but I’m not putting my entire life on hold for this game. Nick’s seen it, Howie and Erik have seen it. It’s a captive bead ring, a garnet.”

“You’re so good at this,” Justin told Chris. “Are you even in love with AJ?” he asked Joey.

“Are you not even aware that you and AJ and Nick and Justin all have the same birthstone?” Chris asked Joey. “Do you even know when AJ’s birthday is?”

“The possibility of seeing it has me curious, but I’ll live without it,” Chris said.

“Yeah.” JC tried not to look embarrassed. “I told him it was the initials of an old lover.”

“Trevor saw mine,” Chris said. “He wanted to know why I initialed my dick.”

“Ashley spends so much time on my dick, I don’t know why he hasn’t noticed anything,” Joey said.

“Don’t laugh,” JC said, and undid his fly, turning his back. “God,” he said, and lowered his pants, leaning forward over the table.

JC tugged his pants back up, turning around again, heat in his cheeks, avoiding their eyes.

“Thank god,” Joey said, relieved. “I never know with you people anymore.”

“Believe me, if I thought Brian would like it, I’d pierce my perineum, my dick, my fingertips, my eyelids,” Chris said.

“Sorry,” Justin said. “It’s not - - I was just wondering if Kevin would like it if I did that, and then I realized that if he wanted me to be pierced, he’d just go ahead and have me pierced.”

Chris scratched his cheek and averted his gaze, remembering what he’d been doing.

“Everything!” Lance said. “Everything we do, everything we say, everything we’re into. Everything that ever happened between you and Kevin, in bed or out of it, they all know every detail of it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Justin asked. “Why would you tell me this?”

“I have to know for what?” Justin demanded. “So I can what? You think I can prevent it from happening? You think I can do anything about it now? You think I’ll stop seeing him now, or stop having sex with him? What’s supposed to happen now, you want me to be more careful in the future? What am I supposed to do with this information, except feel more helpless than I already do, more exposed, more humiliated, more like utter shit?!”

“You had to know,” Lance said. “We can’t keep secrets from you. You should hear about it from us and not from them.”

“You don’t know what this means,” Justin said. “You have no fucking idea. You have no fucking idea what I’ve done with Kevin.”

“I’m sorry,” Lance said, sounding sad and hurt and frustrated. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean - - it hurts so fucking much and I can’t keep doing this! I can’t keep doing this shit! It’s too much, I’m starting to hate myself, I’m a joke and a whore and a laughingstock and I can’t fucking do this anymore!”

“You’re not a whore!” Joey shouted. “Ashley is a whore. Erik is a joke. Jacob is a laughingstock. They’re the ones who should feel like shit. The five of them are the ones who should be in pain, hurt and betrayed and degraded and tearing each other apart. Them! Not us! We are here to make sure that it’s all turned around on them. We’re in this until that day. We’re not going through this for nothing!”

“Jacob’s?” JC asked, his voice quiet, respecting Lance’s pain and Lance’s shame.

“I love Howie, and I will do anything for him, and I’ve proven that,” Lance said. “I’m chasing after him, I don’t know if Brian’s sincere or jerking me around, I’m on my knees for Jacob’s dick - - if I’m going through all of this and they’re sitting back laughing at me, I will kill each and every one of them. Each and every one. If this is all a joke and a game to Brian, if Howie never fucking cared about me at all… I can’t take it. I can’t do this. I’m trapped in the middle of something I can’t fucking figure out! I’m terrified that I’m being made a fool of again, and I’m rushing in headfirst just to try to force it to be real.”

“You’re the one pushing us forward and telling us to stand up for ourselves and saying how committed to it we should be,” Justin said. “You can’t break down now.”

“You keep us going,” JC said to Lance. “We need you. I know I need you.”

“Lance, the first person who laughs at you, the first person who calls you a whore, I’ll take him down,” Joey said. “No one gets to hurt you again.”

“Lance needs a hug,” Justin said, and hugged him. “You’ve told me I’m too good and too smart and too strong to act crazy. You’re way too good and too smart and too strong to let anybody pull you down or let anybody make you second-guess yourself.”

“We love you,” JC said. “We all dropped the ball last time, all five of us, but that won’t happen again. We’re all looking out for each other, even if we can’t look out for ourselves. We’ll keep you safe, Lance.”

“JC’s pierced, Lance is cracking up, I think we’re all going a little bit nuts,” Justin said, with one arm still wrapped around Lance’s waist.

“I have to go fuck with Ashley,” Joey said. “But I can put it off until later.”

“And whoever lets Joey have breakfast loses,” Chris said, snatching Joey’s bagel from his hand and tossing it to Justin.

Is Ashley Nick's type? Is Brian jerking Lance around? Will Chris stay away from Jacob? Is Dan a good gatekeeper? What does Erik's I-just-fucked-JC smile look like, anyway? And does Kevin like Chris, or what? To figure out some of these answers, tune in next week!