Alla
Copyright May 26-28, 2001 by Matthew Haldeman-Time
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: none
Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.
Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashwriters.
Wherein there's Sugar, spice, and, hmm...
Notice: Uninspired Teen suggested that we spice up the boards. I went to Madam Moderator Kyla and asked for her opinion. It was determined that she's Sexy Spice, Steph's Sweet Spice, I'm Slash God Spice, etc. On Saturday, while I was waiting to meet Kyla and Steph (they're real people!) I started to write this story. (The waitress asked what I was writing. I lost the ability to speak.)
"There were," Justin said. "Sporty, Baby, Posh, Ginger, and..."
"Scary," Nick said.
"Very scary," Drew agreed.
"She's the fifth Spice Girl," Nick said, shoving Drew. "Scary Spice."
"Freaky Spice," Jeff said.
"I'm Sexy Spice," Drew said.
"Oh, are you? That's good to know," Nick said.
"I would have guessed Short Spice," Justin said.
"Toucan Spice," Nick suggested, and tweaked Drew's nose.
"Caveman Spice," Drew retorted, and smacked Nick's forehead.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Nick asked.
"Any number of things," Justin said.
"None of them flattering," Jeff added.
"Look who's talking," Nick said. "Lipless Spice."
"Muppet Spice," Justin added.
"I am not a muppet, Chinless Spice. And lipless, what-"
Nick and Drew licked their lips and made exaggerated wet, smacking sounds.
"Show-offs," Jeff muttered. "Some of us happen to have normal faces."
Justin laughed.
"What now, Old Spice?" Jeff demanded.
"I'm Normal Spice," Justin said.
"How am I not normal?" Jeff asked.
"You want to take this one?" Justin asked Nick.
"Let Drew do it," Nick said. "Jeff's less likely to hit Little Spice."
"Watch it," Drew said to Nick. Nick held his hands up in innocence. Drew gave him a look, then turned to Jeff, who was still bristling. "Listen, Stupid Spice. I-" Drew couldn't continue, what with Nick and Justin's laughter and Jeff's shocked outrage. Drew hit Nick to make him quiet and said to Jeff, "If we don't look normal, with our..."
"Unique facial situations," Justin suggested.
"...then you're not normal, either," Drew continued.
"Jeff, your shoulders are broader than your legs are long," Nick said.
"You have bigger breasts than the last six women I dated," Justin said to Jeff.
"Who's the seventh?" Nick asked.
"Melissa Graybill; you remember her?"
"The blonde with the..."
"Right."
"Would you two shut up?" Jeff asked. "First of all, she was not that hot."
"Jealous?" Drew murmured.
"Second," and Jeff paused to glare at Drew before turning back to Nick, "look who's talking."
"What's wrong with my body?" Nick asked.
Everyone fell silent. Glances were exchanged. A few furtive looks took Nick's measure.
Nick frowned. "Guys?"
Jeff turned red. Justin hummed and looked elsewhere. "Nothing, Nick," Drew said. He coughed. "Nothing's wrong with your body. It looks very nice."
"You," Nick said, "are weird."
"No," Drew said. "I'm Sexy Spice."
"Buff Spice," Jeff announced.
"Normal Spice," Justin said, "by default."
Nick thought about it. Thought some more. "Which one am I?"
Shrugs. Coughs. Averted glances. Nick frowned and bit his thumbnail, thinking about it.
Behind Nick, Drew mouthed, "Hot Spice."
"Spicey Spice," Jeff mouthed back.
"Super Spice," Justin suggested.
Drew grinned. Jeff turned his laugh into a cough when Nick glanced
up again.